Amrapali Gupta's interview

Whoever said life was a cake walk needs to wear my shoes and whoever believes life's a bitch needs my god. Life in all its colours is beautiful and painfully so, the brighter the star the thicker is the fog. Fight it at every moment - this is what I have learnt from the TV actors of warped shows, doing mindless work and living on a string of hope that their dreams one day will formulate into reality. Today there is another woe filled inspirational journey of a little girl from the conservative lanes of Lucknow to the city of dreams: Mumbai.

Fair by Indian standards, eyes translucent as marbles held in the sun, a beauty spot in the centre of her small chin - meet Amrapali Gupta. To remind you the lass has worked in Pyaar Ke Do Naam- Ek Radha Ek Shyam and Vaidehi, and is currently seen in Teen Bahuraniya. It was my first conversation with her and her attempt to speak in fluent English often pushed me to continue our talk in Hindi. What intrigued me was her transparency, the newness of talking to the media, of expression and recognition.

Amrapali is not an amateur to acting or the bright lights on the set-she has seen how big their shadows fall, "It was seven in the evening as I walked into a producer's plush office for a music album. A large sofa was kept for seating in the corner with a bar on its left. He asked me to sit, relax and offered a drink whilst he discussed the idea of a music album that needed a city girl look. He said that I needed to expose and wear skimpy clothes, hot pants etc, I said okay, I will wear till I am comfortable. As I refused the drink, he tried touching and making insinuations - as I stepped backwards he assured me that from Raani Mukerjee to a newcomer - everybody has to go through this grid. I got up and told him that I had forgotten something. I went out, held my friend and cried. I have never gone to audition for a music video after that."

All struggle experiences are very touchy; "I used to collect all the change (coins) that was left over in a box for my last hour of need, I have gone and prayed at Haji Ali with that money," she recalls. This was in her better times though, Aamrapali, "There have been times when I did not have any money for food and I would endlessly wait for my cheques to come from the previous that I did. So when there is not enough money to travel or buy food, I would just take an avil (tranquiliser) and go off to sleep. I would sleep for days like that to kill hunger and depression. For me then there was no option but to just wait." Tears well up in her eyes as the past surfaces; she stops talking to me and looks away. We take a break and switch to pulling her co-star's leg.

Minutes later Aamrapali quips, "You know how I started?" I reply, I am sure my readers want to know how, tell me "It was with the door-to-door marketing of air tight containers at the age of sixteen. I was really smart at my work; I would sell the complimentary container as well, and with that money I travel around and show off at the theatre club in Lucknow, we never really got paid for the plays. I loved to act and but had a tough time with the lines. I would improvise on them and then the others actors and director would scold me. My then theatre director told me that I was fit for the cameras - a complete filmy material!" Those words fuelled her ambition so wild that she waited till she was an adult and decided to test her stars and talent.

"I was very scared of Mumbai: every outsider is. I had heard that girls get kidnapped, and are sold in beer bars. But it wasn't that bad as I stayed with friends. I was a total behenji simpleton then. I dressed in traditional clothes and didn't speak English. I had always spoken to men from a distance and in Mumbai it was all so casual! The way women wore clothes and that I had to adjust the very things that I avoided then, I had to learn the language, become smart and polished. That was the first time my friend from Lukhnow took me to a parlour to cut my hair, shape my brows and get waxed! I made myself comfortable in spaghetti, skirts and boots: I wear it all."

"I was living in Nalasopara (an extreme end of Mumbai suburb) and would commute by trains- my home town never had this mode of transport. Here the women folk do not let you get off or get in- they took me to the last station after wailing and crying, I haven't been more scared in my life - I was 18 years old then. Today at 23, I can travel anywhere and in any condition."

Zillions of girls come into Mumbai on a daily basis and some break and go home, some bend and stay, some fight, cry, wake up the next day and decided that it will be different. The one's who don't give up succeed and Amrapali is trying her best to fit in this bracket!