Posted:
Originally posted by: luvsagar
wow Aani..what a beautiful start...I always await your updates anxiously .. you are a fabulous writer penning down emotions so well Please continue soon!!
thanks Nina 😊
Originally posted by: luvsagar
wow Aani..what a beautiful start...I always await your updates anxiously .. you are a fabulous writer penning down emotions so well Please continue soon!!
👏 ... SS on Ishra is always good to read,, this one is just Beautifully done n a good start
Originally posted by: Maaneet099
bookmarked. Currently overwhelmed with work shall read at leisure :D
Originally posted by: serendipity.
Aah. Bliss. Sorry im late. Reserved.
Love the way you have sketched Raman... a simple yet a complicated character admired by all.
Great start...
Originally posted by: paru_rox
Loved the concept of this story. Both Raman and Ishita are complex characters with a lot of feelings hidden underneath their external persona. The way you wrote about Raman beneath the surface was fantastic.
You write so well Aani ... its difficult to find words every time you come up with something ⭐️
Oh and I absolutely loved the title of this chapter 😃
Chapter 2- Delusions, Deceptions and Denials.
"It is amazing how complete is the delusion
that beauty is goodness."
Leo
Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who
lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for
himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."
Fyodor
Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Life never ceases to surprise you, he has learned as much. Surprises come your way almost all the time, maybe not each day but they do; not all of them can be qualified as good or beautiful though.
His life has been surprising him, and once upon a time, he was one of those people who enjoyed being taken aback. He had considered it no less than a miracle in itself when he learned Shagun had agreed to marry him all those years ago. How could he have felt otherwise then? She was the most beautiful girl he had laid his eyes on and he - he was the bespectacled nerd who could not even dare summon the nerve to look her in the eye for ten seconds in a row when they first met. Not to mention he had a paunch, his hair was greasy and he looked like an idiot. His family had approached hers for the match after she had come to his mother' attention at a relative' wedding and when he had seen her picture thereafter- he was smitten.
His yes was an immediate reply.
Her agreeing to marry him was the shocker, one that he thanked his stars for then. He could not believe she had agreed to marry him then. Thereafter he became a father and Adi was born a few days post their first anniversary and he secured the job which he thought was all thanks to the luck his wife and son brought him - he became the assistant to the man he considered his idol, his mentor - Ashok Khanna.
Life was beautiful until it was not, until it became apparent to him slowly he was only taking things at surface value. His beautiful wife was a mirage, the face that him smitten in a matter of moments fooled everyone. The woman he began discovering was turning out to be rotten with each passing day.
It began with the little things - demands she made of him that did not seem out of the ordinary to him then. She wanted a particular costly sari or accessories for some she already had. The list then began having cosmetics and later jewelry. He considered these as an indulgence every woman loves, true the bills made him break into a cold sweat at times but he could not slight his wife for wanting to look beautiful, not when she said she does all that for him.
He decided to toil harder, make more money and give her and their son everything he possibly could.
The first time he was socked in the gut was when he walked in late one night after an outstation trip and discovered his wife had a humongous make-up kit she was admiring spread out on their bed. The label read MAC - he knew this kit would have cost him a bomb but his exhaustion coupled with the happiness on her face made him loose his will to argue or scold her. Therefore, he walked up to her, only for her to spring from the bed and surprise him with the statement she said, the kit was a gift to her from his boss. She said Ashok believed every successful man has a woman behind him and the woman behind his most competent assistant deserved the rewards for making him the man Ashok relies on so very much. He had had the kit delivered with a thank you note, a bouquet by one of his drivers and called her up personally to ask whether she liked the gift or would she prefer something else.
He was not aware in the slightest that night - the first gift for the woman who drove him to work hard, harder than he ever deemed he would was the first wedge driven between them. He had assumed it a gesture of the greatness and goodwill from the man he worked for - only to learn it was the seeds of greed he was sowing in his wife' heart and mind, borne from the lust he felt for her.
With time as her demands increased so did his anger and discontent with his marriage and wife, but he chose to take it all silently - she was the mother of his child after all and began justifying her incessant need to everyone including himself.
Shagun only wants for good things, there is nothing wrong with it, she likes quality stuff, nothing wrong with that , she is not greedy only picky.
The excuses were made to silent everyone including his own raging mind. For her love, for the love of their son and marriage he chose to brush things aside, neglect them as much as he could.
Only one day all his patience, his understanding ran out - the day she affirmed she not only wants better things in her life - but also a better man. A better earning man - one who could fulfill all her demands, her needs one who would not have the burden of half a dozen mouths to feed other than her and their son on his meager salary.
He clearly had seen the difference in her, in her behavior towards him and his family, had observed her praising Ashok in front of their son to the skies - he still wasn't prepared for the shock when she confirmed the worst to him, said she would be leaving him for Ashok.
They just had had Ruhi too, granted her conception was no planned move.
Months before Ruhi' birth she had stopped responding to him, made excuses to keep him aloof. Most nights their son slept on their bed too - but after almost six months of abstinence, they had got into bed one drunken night. A party hosted by Ashok to celebrate a huge contract their company bagged had them in high spirits when they returned home. Neither of them was in the least bit conscious enough to consider any form of protection that night - all he remembers of that hazy night is - it was the last time he had touched her.
Two and a half months later, they had learned she was expecting once again.
He had been thrilled on learning he would be a father again, she clearly was not the least bit happy.
He remembers her arguments to have an abortion, citing his meager salary and the ever-booming economy as the reasons, stating it is difficult for them to raise Adi, as it is how they will afford another baby. Only the doctors had declared her unfit to go through with it, citing she was anemic and the procedure would do her more harm than good, that it could be fatal. She had reluctantly give up her tantrum then.
He had been furious with her for even thinking about aborting their baby but for the sake of their child had let go of it too. She needed to be taken care of in her condition after all.
Ruhi was born on a rainy July night and he had fallen in love with his little girl the moment he held her.
It never occurred to him that this happiness would be the last of their married life - soon after the truth came out in the open, his wife wanted to leave him, she wanted a divorce.
There was no goodness in the world post the brutal betrayal in his opinion and he learned not to let the evils pull him down or dwell too much upon things to make them important. Surprises ceased to affect him thereafter, sure, he still took notice of them when they happened but his resilience made them ineffectual to him. He did not let anything cow him down anymore, his instincts guided him to do the needful when required but once the task was over, he chose to move on.
The world was a materialistic, opportunistic place and you could either play the game by its rules or be discarded and left behind.
It was his firm belief now nothing and no one would cause things to change for him. He would not let anyone become vital to him
He finds how deluded he was to even think he can control his life, his destiny to begin with for once again he made the same mistake... he did not count upon life and destiny - the power they hold over a mere mortal like him, while making the decision.
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