Seven Hues- A Drabble Series Complete Page 39

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

Khamma Ghanni peeps!

Just the other day, me and my good friend (Couch_Potato) were discussing Rangrasiya (yeah, because that's how Vella we guys are and also obsessed). The discussion steered towards colors, and then she actually proceeded to threaten me to do a color based series.

I am lazy in general, so after bargaining with her, we settled that drabbles would work just fine.

So, here I am. Presenting you people with seven drabbles, on Seven hues in the rainbow.

I took a teeny weeny liberty and subtracted a color from VIBGYOR and added one of mine. But that you'll get to know on later stages.

I hope that the response I get is good enough for me to continue till the last color.

Also, I plan on updating everyday for seven days. If KD (Couch_Potato) tortures me enough, I can go twice a day.

All kinds of criticism is welcome. Please feel free to tell me what you hated especially. I'll pay heed and improve on it.

All drabbles range from 200-300 words.

Please read and review.

Links are below.

Also, My Writing Index for other works: Ret Ke Sehraan

Last Author's Note: A/N

Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 12 years ago

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

Index

1. GREEN

2. BLUE

3. ORANGE

4. YELLOW

5. GREY

6.INDIGO

7.RED

Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 12 years ago

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

Green

It was a disgusting color, she found out the hard way. She looked on, her head bleeding and hurting in the most terrible of ways possible.

She wanted to rip that saree of off her. How dare she!

Here all she could remember for the major part of her youth was how he had never ever dressed her up. Watching seething in burnt lava as he carefully took a green saree from the clothesline nearby, and gently wrapped it around her, as if she was some precious thing that needed to be protected from the big bad scary world, she realized it all. That he was in love with her.

And the bitter realization made her aware of one more fact.

That she wanted to be the one. Not that flimsy feeble Parvati.

Iske saamne tameej aur maryaada mei rehna.

His words were a serrated knife, slowly making her heart wrench out in pain as she registered the hold that chit of a girl had made on her Rudra.

And that made the ugly green monster roar, destroying everything else in its wake.

Laila just wanted to kill her. Destroy that Paro for making him a human.

She wanted her Rudra back. She wanted her devil back to play with the monsters in her head.

Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 12 years ago

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">Res oh mygod</font>

Unres:

First of all, I'm so sorry for stealing KD's spot- I didn't realize it! Second, I'm sorry it took me so long to unres. I'm still reeling from exams

Now that all my excuses are done- wow. Wow wow wow. I did not expect this for green- it's such a creative way to incorporate this scene. I would have picked this for yellow, but you completely surprised me. I'm very, very impressed- you didn't write a lot, but you certainly packed a punch. There's so much emotion in your words- every single word in this is meaningful, and says something.

Coming to blue- I loved this one too. I like how you've changed the meaning of things, how you've made the impact of her in his life so vivid. The sky is something that's so constant on our lives- and the changing of the color was a wonderful way to describe this.

Phenomenal writing. Absolutely wonderful

Edited by chotidesi - 12 years ago

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Kashish

@Couch_Potato

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

biwi-res. <3

First just so I can remind you and the rest of the world that is looking at me with accusing eyes can know, I am typing this with henna covered hands and there are bits of mehendi falling all over my mac. And thats not very pretty. Okay now on the the next thing, lets get two things settled here and now. 1. I have the bestest ideas ever! 2. You are the bestest writer ever! Good now that we have that out of the way too, on to Green.

I have said this various various times before, and I say it again. You have the best end lines I have ever read on IF. And you know exactly what my weakness is and with these last two lines you just nailed it. I love love love how she is jealous of this special side of his that comes out with her but she isn't really jealous of Paro. How she doesnt want him to dress her up but all she wants is his attention, the way he had given it to her before. I dont think I'm making any sense here but basically she doesnt want to emulate Paro, she wants to be Laila, as she is and she wants Rudra to go back to his old ways and be happy enough with it again as he was before. There I said it. But umm yes this. I just love those last two lines soo much but especially the last bit because it's so true. He is her escape and that is why she's drawn to him time and again. Her bright light at the end of the tunnel and even though it might be an on-coming train, it's still something to come back to instead of the dark oblivion.

Okay I'm done now and sorry I rambled so much. I'm exhausted and sleepy and my mac is getting henna streaked.

Edited by Couch_Potato - 12 years ago

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Couch_Potato
biwi-res. <3

Where the hell have you been??

I have been panicking like crazy!!

I almost deleted the whole doc file for this series!!!

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asmi279

@asmi279

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Anky sa, that is brilliant!! Cant wait to get to the warmer colors:)

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

res res res res

This is incredible! I am so in awe of anyone who can work in Drabbles because the more limited the format the harder the emotional payout. And here, I feel as if you've teleported me back in time, standing across Paro and Rudra as they live in their blissful, wet little world while I'm seeing the thoughts and waves of emtions perched inside Laila's head.

The green of the dupatta symbolically wrapping around Paro, the green of Laila's jealousy also wrapping like a schroud around Paro-- that green is an ugly color, indeed! Great use of the element! I love how the color bleeds into the scene both physically and symbolically...I forgot the color of the dupatta he used was green!

What an excellent little gift this was, Senbon! I'm green with envy too, Baisa...please keep writing more and more and more of these! Maybe two per color? The BSD uniform is green..😉

PS: Yaar, since you'll be doing a Rainbow of posts over the next seven days (yay!) you've made me nervous! I offered to do the first one on Choti's weekend Navaras series--I'm supposed to lead it off with the OS on Disgust tomorrow---and now I'm worried my writing might just elicit that emotion, its utter crap...off to edit, brood and tear my hair out...

Edited by napstermonster - 12 years ago