Guys, I dunno whats wrong with me, but I couldn't sleep all night. I was watching a lot of old episodes last night, and I couldn't help but cry for my Devu. Poor thing...usko zindagi ke har mod pe uske pyaar ka balidaan dena pada hai...har waqt usne doosron ke liye sacrifice kiya hai...
First, he lost his love, his wife, Payal...
This left such a bitter memory for him that he refused to let himself fall in love ever again - for fear that he'd lose whoever he truly loved. He tried to stop himself from falling in love with Kaajjal - tried to go against his own heart. He didn't know how else to handle it but to be rude to her and yell all the time...but each time he did this, his words and actions pierced his own heart as well.
One day, he admitted his love for Kaajjal to himself. He admitted that someone had taken the place of his beloved Payal. He decided that he should take the new happiness in his life, the happiness that Kaajjal has gifted him, and move on. But even then, there was a tinge of guilt in him that made him feel as though he was leaving the memory, the thought of Payal behind.
As hard as it was, he forced himself to push that guilt aside and decided to confess his love to Kaajjal. Just as he was about to do this, that baboon stepped in 😡 and Dev, for the sake of his friendship locked his love for her in a small corner or his heart, and bid it to slowly go away.
Soon after, God dealt him the worst hand he could have gotten. His mahadasha. Dev learned he was going to die. Even in a time like this, my Devu thought of others instead of himself. He decided that he had to make sure his love, Kaajjal, was safely in the arms of another man that could take care of her until she grew old. The pain he endured in trying to bring them together was unbearable. It hurt him to see them together, it pierced his heart every time Dhruv so much as looked at her - but despite it all, he convinced himself that he was going to make everyone happy before he dies - he decided to be happy that his best friend and his love would have one another to turn to after he died.
And in times like this, that chudail just added salt to his wounds...(remember the puja scene where Dev ends up throwing Kaju out of the house...😭) - she made him believe that Dhruv/Kaju were made for one another...and made him feel guilty for loving Kaajjal as this would mean he's forgotten Payal and that he would be the reason for Kaajjal's death, just as he was the reason for Payal's death.
The chudail's plans worked...he decided to run even further from Kaajjal - decided to make her hate him even more. He, made himself look so bad in the eyes of his one true love, that she hated even the thought of him. He pretended to rape her so that she would never again so much as think of him, or utter his name. All the while, a part of him died with her every tear.
He was content to let her think of him as such a horrible person as long as it meant that she was safe. And on her engagement day, he decided to kill his love for her all together, so that she could be free to live in the arms of another man. But God had other plans....
His love found out that he was dying, learned that he did all this to keep her away from him...and on the day when she was to forever become someone else's, he, out of frustration, out of hate for himself in all the pain he was causing her, for the first time, admits his love for her (It was HEARTWRENCHING that they didn't so much as hug here 😭). But even then, in order to save her from himself, he delivers her to his best friend, and walks away.
His love too, walks away - from the man that she's being forced into a relationship with. His love, decides to save him. Even then, he runs from true love, even then, he refuses to accept her, for fear that he will lose her. - Until the day that she threatens him with her own life. Then and there, though he admits his love, and promises to commit to it, he decides to go away from her forever, so that she will forever be safe. He decides to feign his own death, so that his love can forget him, and move on. He forces himself to live away from his love, his family, among strangers....plasters a smile on his face though a part of him dies every moment that he reflects upon her beautiful smile. And one day, like a storm, she comes back into his life.
He pretends to be a stranger, forces himself to stay away from her, and hates himself for every tear she sheds. He also learns his own flesh and blood were attempting to take his life. In a desperate moment, he decides to return home with her, as a stranger, to help her avenge his own death. He does this thinking that if he can help her, it will give her some closure, and then he will again, walk out of her life forever, no matter how hard it will be to do it a second time.
In the proceeding days, he lives with her, as a stranger, and stops himself from losing control. His love is in his arms and he can't so much as utter a compliment to her, or take them moment to lose himself in her eyes - the eyes that his own reflection lies in. He remains strong, and keeps her at bay. Moments arise when they are pushed together, and even then, he thinks of her life, and takes a step back. He's made up his mind to help her, and then return to his life among strangers. He's made up his mind to give her up forever, no matter how much it hurts him to do so....
What a beautiful love this is...and how heartwrenching. I just want my Devu to have his love in his arms for the rest of his life so that he can finally be happy. So much pain he's endured...how brave he's been. Even when he had her, he never fully had her. At every moment, he's had to hold himself at bay - away from her. Through all the pain and tears, for the sake of his love and his family, he's walked around with a smile on his face...he's hid his pain from those that love him the most, so that they can be happy...so that he doesn't cause them pain.
😭
I don't know who needs a hug more right now - me or my Devu...I just pray to God that he and his love can be together soon, and that he lives happily ever after.
I know its crazy that I'm getting so caught up in the life of a fictional character, but I love this character - I am totally, completely, hopelessly in love, with Mr. Dev Pratap Singh. His smile makes me happy and his pain makes my heart weep...
Thank you for taking the time to read this...I've been thinking about this all night and just had to get my thoughts out...
Dev, I love you...hang in there sweetheart - 🤗
Love,
Dev Ki Deewani,
~Payal
Mahadev And Sons
Hindi TV Shows
