Before you read this, KINDLY assume that NO SPITTING took place because there is NO excuse to forgive ‘Spitting’. Only the slap took place and the story goes after the slap and Murtasim warns her to show the worth of him and the contract… Now Proceed!
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Closing the door behind him, he walked back towards her while taking off his coat and dumped it on the bed, ready to give her a piece of his mind…
"You won't be able to handle yourself when my inner beast wakes up" she recalled his words from the morning of their wedding reception…Her heartbeat has started racing faster than ever as she realized she unknowingly awoke the beast inside of him…. Holding her dupatta against her chest, she tried to escape to the washroom when he grabbed her upper right arm with his right hand and pushed her back against the wall…
He yanked her dupatta off her shoulder into the air and held both her hands against the wall with his strong grip…. "What the hell do you think of yourself? Just because I have been tolerating your misbehavior and giving you the right to screw me over and over again, does not mean that I allowed you to degrade me to this low that you can start treating me like a trash…" he moved closer to leave an inch distance from her face as he witnessed her eyes glitering with tears…
He hated himself for those tears but he knew it was the high time to get things straight about his emotions, which have always been mercilessly blown away into the thin air by her ….
"Whatever you just did to me, I can return it with interest but my love for you is too strong to even think of committing any physical damage to you." She closed her eyes in pain…trying to figure out if the pain was from the broken bangles under his grip OR the pain of guilt…"This is what your worth is to me…. I can only offer you love in return as a punishment …. and that is what my worth is'' Murtasim stated ….
"In regards to the agreement, you very well know that, if I WANT, NOTHING ON THIS PLANET, not even YOU, can STOP me from breaching this contract. So you better understand the fact that IT IS ME, who is saving you from myself, NOT THAT BLOODY PIECE OF USELESS PAPER. And THIS is what this agreement is worth." Murtasim declared as he looked into her eyes, which were in pain …. "Do you know how F**king hard it is to stay so close to you and yet NOT make love to you?” he emphasized on his dilemma… “Why Meerab? Why can't I make myself hate you as much as you hate me? Why does your proximity have to control me so much that I find myself hopelessly wanting to burn every bloody single core existence of my desires to love you?” Murtasim proclaimed, hating himself for admitting his hidden desires …. “.. even now… even after you mercilessly burnt my honor and self-respect into ashes, I failed to hate you….” His harsh voice softened as he took a deep breath and continued, "Meerab, Even if you had verbally asked me to stay away from you, I would have never crossed the line. My ethics, dignity and self-respect never allow me to stoop this low."
He released her from his grip and brought his hands down to cup her face as he silently choked in his broken voice, "... I did not deserve this, Meerab … " Murtasim closed his eyes and turned away as a fresh drop of tear rolled down his cheeks…. This time he refused to show his vulnerable side to her, afraid to fall flat on his face again…. he slipped his fisted left hand into his pocket while grabbing the footboard pot of the bed with his right…. “.... I have always discouraged Haya towards me and you know about her intentions …. yet I turned out to be a failure …. I should have given more attention to her intentions to not allow it to go this far but the fact is I never believed I needed to give her that much importance to spend my time thinking about her next attempt ... Yes, it is disheartening to see how she is stooping too low to get her way…. this questions the upbringing of our family…. It is very dishonorable…. and I am done defending myself in regards to her….She was never worth it...” Murtasim confirmed…
“ …I have always made myself clear that YOU are important to me…. I gave my everything to this marriage, Meerab …. there is nothing left in me …. I don’t want you to suffer anymore …. you are free to go …. I will send you the divorce papers …. you can put whatever clauses you want …. I am done …. I know I will regret for the rest of my life for losing my only love but it seems like this is where it ends…. ” he shook his head with a broken smile, mocking himself for failing to capture her with his love ….. The biggest loser in history!....
She knew she made irreversible blatant damage …. 'If only you knew of my love for you', Meerab's mind confessed as a fresh drop of tear rolled down her cheeks and she closed her eyes…. A moment later, looking down at her left wrist, she lightly touched the scratch caused by the broken bangle with her right hand, trying to remove the broken pieces …. The pain from the broken bangle failed to compensate for the broken heart she felt at that very moment…. She knew he was right about Haya and she overreacted…. How could she forget about all the times he stood up for her? How could she invalidate all those times he showed his love for her, due to a person whose unpleasant intention was clear to her from day 1? How could she rectify it? How could she fix everything? …. Did she leave any loopholes to bring things back on track?
“No! wait! If I am gonna mourn over something, then I will better mourn over this”, Murtasim abruptly turned around, cupped her face in between his palms and closed the distance between them as he captured her trembling lips with his… since there will be nothing left, why should he mourn over the divorce when he could mourn over breaching the contract, either way, he was going to lose her, and he was not going to let her go without getting a taste of her hatred to remind him of his punishment that he deserved to be alone without her…. He was hell bent ready to be guilty!
Meerab was trying to process all this guilt, blunder, pain, rectification in her mind, and she decided to start with a mere apology, “I’m so–r-...” when she found herself taken over by him as she grabbed both his wrists when he cupped her face to pin his lips against hers….
He needed to consume all the poison from her heart that was holding up for him…. If the poison was dedicated to him, then it was his honor to get rid of it .... he slipped his hands from her face towards her neck as he brought her face closer to deepen his passion …. he was gonna take in as much pleasure as he could until he was declared dead…. if the universe cursed him for punishing her like this, then let him be the sinner…. if he deserved to get punished for loving her unconditionally, then let him atleast take a pleasing taste of her lips, a mere part of her body, if not all of her …. he atleast wanted to fulfill this piled up desire to kiss her with all his passion, intensity, and divinity, before he let her go away forever…
Meerab closed her eyes as she found herself captured in his irresistible ardent passion. She felt her heart was going to erupt like a volcano and the only thing she needed at that very moment was his fierce love which could calm her down ... her resistance was losing its power as she grabbed onto the kurta by his chest and pulled him closer to reciprocate the desire…. Not willing to let him go at any cost, when Murtasim pushed her against the wall again and deepen the kiss …. to ingest the intoxicated passion…
A moment later, he broke the kiss to catch a breath…. both forehead and nose resting against hers as he looked down at her wet parted lips …. he could feel her heavy yet warm breath against his lips as he tried to process what he actually felt a while ago .... ‘did she just kiss me back?’ Murtasim moved his gaze up to find her eyes closed, cheeks red…. As if suddenly, all the anger on her face was replaced with this strange glow of serenity …. then he looked down at his chest to find her grip on his kurta, that’s when he witnessed the red scratch on her left wrist underneath a cracked bangle …. he gently removed his hands from her neck to take her left wrist, making sure not to cause more damage… The slight move of his hands broke her concentration from the emotional consumption she just experienced a while ago as she quietly watched him delicately holding her left wrist with his right hand, while removing the few remaining bangles with his left hand….
“Oouh” Meerab whispered a small cry out as she felt a sharp pain and he instantly stopped to look at her face…. he hurt her again …. ‘When will you learn to be gentle with her?…. Die Murtasim Die!’ He cursed under his breath …. he was truly apologetic and wanted to apologize for the pain he caused her …. ‘she did not deserve this in return for the strike he received from her’ as Murtasim thought … he gently bent his head to leave a gentle kiss on the scratch …. not a compensation but perhaps a genuine apology…’ this was nothing compared to the pain she gave him today, on his face, on his soul’ as Meerab thought….
Meerab placed her head on her right hand that she brought up to rest on his left shoulder, her upper forehead touching the crook of his neck while he moved his left arm to put around her waist to hold her steady as her body seemed to lose its weight all of a sudden …. her left hand was still in his custody…. “I am sorry Murtasim… I am so sorry…. I should have never believed Haya …. I just hate myself for my irrational behavior …. I cannot tolerate her anywhere near you… I cannot tolerate her name on your lips …. I thought I lost you forever…. I have lost so much in life and could not afford to lose you, Murtasim …. you are all I have …. Yes I am guilty. Guilty for doubting you, guilty for breaking my own promise to myself that I would never allow myself to fall for anyone … and here I am ….hopelessly drowned in the ocean of your divine love …. there was no-one before you nor will there be anyone after you... it is only you, it has been always only you... it hurts so badly when you don't trust me with Rohail ...” Meerab silently wept for sometime as he allowed her to release herself from the inner turmoil….
Lifting her head to face him, she brought her right hand up to touch his cheek as she lightly stroked it with her thumb …. she wanted to kill herself for the smack ….
“..I am sorry for not trusting you ...I promise to always trust you no matter what....I love you …” he confessed yet again and this time it was instantly approved as Meerab wrapped her right hand around his neck to bring his face down and meet his lips with hers… it was her confession along with his …. it was her moment of love…. it was her moment of passion …. it was her moment of emotion…. that was only meant for him …. from this moment, she knew her heart will be free of any conditions or any boundaries…. she did not need to think twice before loving him …. at that very moment, she knew she was ready to surrender herself to his divine love ….
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Now go ahead and throw whatever you want at me... Guilty!
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