Love, Actually- Asfi-Zubi - Page 8

Created

Last reply

Replies

169

Views

53.7k

Users

30

Likes

478

Frequent Posters

bookworm123 thumbnail
Anniversary 8 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#71
Z: I don't know at what moment you came into my story, I only know that since the day I came here, you were my story. All my days were only reactions to you. I came here all frozen and immobile, but from the moment I walked in here all my days had only one focus, you. You pushed me so hard, you were so demanding, you broke through the ice in which I had stuck myself for 8 years. All my living moments were about you, first winning your approval and then trying to be the best version of myself for you. Before everything else you were my teacher, my mentor.


Very well done indeed. This can't have been easy. Zubia in the second half of this show has held back all her emotions making it very difficult to predict what is going on in her mind and how she would react..

I really like the bit about Zubia wanting to stay at Dr. Asfia's place as they did not burden her with emotions...also the bit about people from work slowly but surely being introduced back into her life...her conversation with Dr.Haroon was also on point...


One observation I had (and maybe that is the frame of mind in which I read it) is that the spark between Zubia and Asfand was less than what I have come to expect...but I also accept that it is very very difficult to showcase that in a conversation about their past...

Really enjoyed reading all the parts..excellent piece of writing..
Edited by bookworm123 - 7 years ago
Cheesybites thumbnail
Group Promotion 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#72
Woww! This was so beautiful! You write so well, please keep writing! We need more lighthearted moments between them xD
PNA88 thumbnail
Anniversary 7 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#73
OMG this this BEAUTIFUL, i am sitting at my doctors appointment, waiting and reading this, i am smiling throughout! Fab Job <3
ShellJA thumbnail
Anniversary 14 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail Fascinator 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#74
SanFran, that was really good, well thought out, good structure and flow. Loved reading it. I loved how you portrayed both Zubia and Asfand's emotions and what they were going through even tho Asfi wasn't there in the first part. That was brilliant.

My only feedback is I wish you added a hug or something that transformed us to another level like the SUV scene, that was epic.



SanFrangirl thumbnail
Anniversary 7 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#75
Thanks everyone for your valuable feedback. I know the sexual attraction quotient was a little low here. I was concentrating more on what a conversation would be like between these two. Will try and remedy that later with an epilogue.
Alizba63 thumbnail
Anniversary 9 Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 0 Thumbnail Group Promotion 3 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#76
Girl the 5th part was amazing and more importantly very satisfying! I won't even mind if you don't continue now...I found this to be a very peaceful closure and the best way the confession was handled along with Aims one.
I like how you didn't include any kiss or too much of intimacy. To me this would be their limit for now.


Edited by Alizba63 - 7 years ago
fanraya thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#77
OMG another awesome piece of writing, Girls you are all rocking, loved the way you conveyed Asfi and Zubi's emotions, Superb!👍🏼 Really brilliant..Not sure how I should describe my feelings, Absolutely wonderful, loved their conversation, We crave so much for that and I am so glad you all are giving us these beautiful write ups.. Thank you so much.. 🤗❤️ to you all.
Doc.love thumbnail
Anniversary 8 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 0 Thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#78
A truly incredible update.. 👏
Loved every bit of it. You have an amazing way with words and it all looked so natural and in rhythm while I was reading it.
Thank you soo much for giving us all this behtereen story... 👏
reddeep thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#79
Hi I came here to read your Love, Actually after some of my friends recommended it highly. I am totally floored by the way you have taken the story forward. The characterization of both Asfand and Zubia has taken a new life in your version, as you bring such warmth and humor in their persona. Love the way you show the back and forth between them when each is so ready to indulge the other. Farhat Ishtiyaq has written a brilliant character but you have taken it forward and shown what a man or a woman in love can be.
My friends loved the psychological angle you have given in their character, as have your other readers, in their comments. That is outstanding in your story. A lot of Fan fiction never gets any exposure, but I think you should publicize this.
Are you a writer? I think you should write at least a couple more stories on this. I see you are writing an epilogue.
Looking forward to the epilogue.
Thanks for bringing such a creative interpretation to this story.
SS88 thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 7 years ago
#80
Oh such a lovely ending, SanFran. Well done!
Top