Originally posted by: magicalM
Nikki ur story is amazing and suspenseful. 😊 that veer is a mystery i feel . Excited now to read its 3rd part also.
Thank you so much... 😊
I am glad you liked it...
Veer is a mystery?? Hmm... What about Rudra?
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/152704997
Remind me to update the media thread tomorrow
Chapter 2
For a moment i wondered what role did Veer and his kundali played. Then my confusion cleared.
🤔 Why do i feel Veer still has a role to play. Is he a major character perhaps.
I look forward to the rest of the chapters Lage raho. This seems promising
Story Description
Your story sounds interesting I'm curious to know as to who's the 2nd person who wants to kill Piya.
Well, this Antakasur is the second person... Itna to bata hi sakte hain 😆
Prologue
Quite theatric ! 😈 I looove the campiness of the setting..
Thanks... 😊
Chapter 1
Saavi 😂 I just remembered initially i was shipping her with Rishi. I was thinking bechara Rishi she's wayyy out of his league. He definitely shouldn't try flirting.
Even I used to ship Saavi with Rishi...
Well, if I introduce Rishi, I am bound to write a funny scene for him...
Throughout the serial she never got any of the guys did she 😆 Rishi Mayank hell not even Naman. I always felt bad she got a date .
I loved the chulbuliness of the cousins . Made me smile 😊
Thanks... 😊
Good start 👍🏼
Thank you so much... I wanted the first chapter to be light hearted and fun.
Originally posted by: Nikki_srk
Story Description
Your story sounds interesting I'm curious to know as to who's the 2nd person who wants to kill Piya.
Well, this Antakasur is the second person... Itna to bata hi sakte hain 😆
Prologue
Quite theatric ! 😈 I looove the campiness of the setting..
Thanks... 😊
Chapter 1
Saavi 😂 I just remembered initially i was shipping her with Rishi. I was thinking bechara Rishi she's wayyy out of his league. He definitely shouldn't try flirting.
Even I used to ship Saavi with Rishi...
Well, if I introduce Rishi, I am bound to write a funny scene for him...
Throughout the serial she never got any of the guys did she 😆 Rishi Mayank hell not even Naman. I always felt bad she got a date .
I loved the chulbuliness of the cousins . Made me smile 😊
Thanks... 😊
Good start 👍🏼
Thank you so much... I wanted the first chapter to be light hearted and fun.
Well u succeeded. Thank u for that.
I finished commenting on chapter 2
Originally posted by: Hallyumint
For a moment i wondered what role did Veer and his kundali played. Then my confusion cleared.
🤔 Why do i feel Veer still has a role to play. Is he a major character perhaps.
I look forward to the rest of the chapters Lage raho. This seems promising
Hmm... Smart!! 😎
Let's see how the future story unfolds...
Thanks... 🤗
Waise, I am still wondering... You guys are focusing on Veer's character only. None of you said anything about Rudra??
Originally posted by: Nikki_srk
Hmm... Smart!! 😎
Let's see how the future story unfolds...
Thanks... 🤗
Waise, I am still wondering... You guys are focusing on Veer's character only. None of you said anything about Rudra??
are u talking about the neighbor ?
u didn't name him
Yes, I am talking about the neighbours.
I guess I gave the name Rudra...
Originally posted by: Nikki_srk
Yes, I am talking about the neighbours.
I guess I gave the name Rudra...
I'll have to check
It was a given he is going to be related to the demon king. All Rathods neighbors turn out to be evil. So there's not much to speculate.
Originally posted by: Hallyumint
I'll have to check
It was a given he is going to be related to the demon king. All Rathods neighbors turn out to be evil. So there's not much to speculate.
Hmmm... Let's see... 😎 😉
Chapter: 03
At Rathod House
Nishant and Saavi reached Rathod House. The Rathods were surprised to see them so soon as they had expected them to come a little later according to their plan. Nishant enquired about Pia
Ni: Gudiya kahan hai Vedashree ji?
Ved: Pia... Apne kamre main hogi.
She noticed that Nishant was tensed even though he was trying hard to look normal.
Ved: Kya baat hai Nishant Ji? Aap kuch pareshaan lag rahe hain... Sab theek hai na?
Meanwhile, Pia and Ansh had also heard Nishant's voice and had come down in the hall...
Pia: Baba, aap yahan achanak?
Ni: Haan Gudiya... Baat hi kuch aisi hai. Hume achanak hi aana pada.
Ansh: Kya baat hai papa? Sab theek to hai na?
Ansh was worried. He had caught an undercurrent of anxiety in Nishant's voice... He was not getting good vibes. His sixth sense told him that something was definitely wrong but he couldn't fathom it.
Ni: Nahi Ansh, sab theek nahi hai... Tabhi to hum yahan aaye hain.
Pia: Par hua kya hai Baba? Saaf saaf bataiye na...
Ni: Tumhe humare saath chalna hoga Gudiya...
Pia: Aise achanak? Par kyon Baba?
Everyone thought that it must be a plan of Nishant and Saavi to take Pia away so that they could prepare for the surprise birthday party without Pia being aware of it. But, the next statement proved them wrong...
Ni: Kyonki tumhari jaan khatre main hai...
Everyone was stunned...
Ansh: Jaan khatre main hai matlab? Pia ko kisse khatra ho sakta hai?
Ni: Main is samay zyada kuch nahi bata sakta... Bas ye ki main ise yahan se kisi safe jagah par lekar jaa raha hoon taki Pia safe reh sake aur uski jaan bach sake...
Chai: Par Nishant Ji, Pia to Daivik hai na? Wo to apni raksha khud kar sakti hai na?
Ni: Nahi... Kyonki is samay Pia ki shaktiyan kamzor pad rahi hain aur agle teen dino tak uski shaktiyan kamzor hi rahengi. Wo apni shaktiyon ka istemal nahi kar payegi.
They all were left dumbfounded...
Nishant asked Pia to pack a few of her belongings as they had no time to loose. Pia returned after a few minutes with a small bag containing her necessary belongings.
Pia: Baba, main taiyar hoon... Chaliye.
They were about to leave when Ansh stopped them...
Ansh: Ek minute rukiye... Main bhi aap logon ke saath chalunga.
Before anyone had time to react to this statement, Ansh had left the hall and gone upstairs to his room.
Vedashree and the other seniors followed him and found him in his room, packing a small bag.
Avi: Ye tum kya kar rahe ho Ansh?
Ansh: Apna bag pack kar raha hoon Chachu...
Chai: Par kyon Ansh?
Ansh looked at her with a confused expression on his face...
Ansh: Abhi to bataya tha Chachi ki main bhi Pia ke saath jaa raha hoon...
Ved: Par wahan bahut khatra hai Ansh...
Ansh: Janta hoon Maa... Isiliye to jaa raha hoon. Pia ko meri madad ki zarurat hogi.
Ved: Par Pia ke saath Nishant Ji aur Saavi to hain na? Aur wo khud bhi to ek Daivik hai... Wo log kaafi hain kisi bhi khatre ka saamna karne ke liye...
Ansh: Maa, aap shayad bhool gayi thodi der pehle Papa ne kya kaha tha... Agle teen dino tak Pia apni shaktiyon ka istemal nahi kar payegi. Uski shaktiyan kamzor pad jayengi aur wo Kaali Shaktiyon ka saamna utni aasani se nahi kar payegi jaise wo abhi karti hai.
Avi: Mana ki Pia apni shaktiyon ka istemal nahi kar payegi. Par uske saath Nishant Ji aur Saavi to hain na?
Ansh: Haan, Papa aur Saavi wahan Pia ke saath honge par aakhir main wo bhi to sirf insan hain na? Wo Kaali Shaktiyon ka saamna sirf apne hathiyaron se kar payenge... Aur agar unke hathiyaron se bhi kuch nahi hua to? Unke hathiyar agar Kaali Shaktiyon ki shakti ke saamne kamzor pad gaye to?
Ved: Par tu apni jaan khatre main kyon daalna chahta hai?
Ansh: Kyonki Pia meri biwi hai Maa... Usne kitni baar apni jaan ki parwah kiye bina humari madad ki hai. Aur aaj jab use madad ki zarurat hai to main peeche kaise hat sakta hoon? Main itna khudgarz aur matlabi to nahi ho sakta na ki museebat main uski help loon aur jab use meri madad ki zarurat pade to peeche hat jaaon? Kya uske liye main itna bhi nahi kar sakta?
Ved: Isme matlabi hone ki baat beech main kahan se aa gayi?
Ansh was getting desperate as no one was ready to listen to him...
Ansh: Humare upar kitne saare khatre aaye jinse hume Pia aur Papa ne hi bachaya hai... Hum log har baar unse madad maangne jaate hain aur wo bhi kabhi mana nahi karte. Humesha humari madad karte hain. Apni jaan ki parwah tak nahi karte... Aur aaj jab Pia ki jaan khatre main hai to main apni jaan ki fikr karke agar peeche hat jaaon to ise khudgarzi nahi kahenge to aur kya kahenge?
Shek: Wo sab to theek hai par Nishant Ji ne to tumse madad ke liye nahi kaha hai na?
Ansh: Main manta hoon ki unhone mujhse madad ke liye nahi kaha hai... Lekin Pia to humare parivaar ka hi hissa hai na? Aur aap aur Maa hi to kehte hain ki parivaar wahi hota hai jiske saare sadasya hamesha, har situation main ek dusare ke saath khade rahe. To chahe wo kahe ya na kahe, humara farz banta hai unke saath khade rehne ka...
Shek: Theek hai... Main maanta hoon ki tum jo keh rahe ho, bilkul sahi keh rahe ho. Par Nishant Ji ne khud kaha ki wo Pia beta ko kisi surakshit jagah par le jaa rahe hain. Wahan wo bilkul surakshit rahegi... To phir tumhe jaane ki kya zarurat hai?
Ansh: Haan wo Pia ko kisi safe jagah par le jaa rahe hain... Par agar us jagah tak pahunchne se pehle unke saamne koi khatra aa gaya to? Aur agar wo us khatre ka saamna na kar paaye to?
Ansh shuddered at the mere possibility of Pia being in danger...
Ved: Par teri jaan ko bhi to khatra ho sakta hai na Ansh?
Ansh: Main maanta hoon ki meri jaan ko khatra ho sakta hai... Par Pia ki jaan ko khatra hai. Jis cheez ke baare main hum sure nahi hain, use liye hum us cheez ko to nahi bhool sakte jiske baare main hum sure hain?
Chai: Matlab?
Ansh: Matlab ye Chachi, ki meri jaan ko khatra hai ya nahi, ye hum nahi jaante. Par hum ye to jaante hain ki Pia ki jaan ko khatra hai. To hume pehle is baat par dhyan dena chahiye na ki us baat par jiske baare main hum khud sure nahi hain...
Ved: Par tu jaan-boojh kar apni jaan khatre main kyon daalna chahta hai? Jabki iski koi zarurat bhi nahi hai... Nishant Ji ne kaha hai na wo sab kuch sambhal lenge... Phir??
Ansh turned towards Vedashree...
Ansh: Ek baat bataiye Maa... Jab Pia is ghar ko chod kar chali gayi thi aur Mohona ke banaye hue jaal main phans gayi thi, tab aapne mujhe uske paas jaane kyon diya tha?
Ved: Kyonki Pia ki jaan khatre main thi... Aur use teri madad ki zarurat thi.
Ansh: To ab bhi to uski jaan khatre main hai na? To ab aap mujhe kyon rok rahi hain? Kahi aisa to nahi ki tab aapne mujhe Pia ke paas isliye bheja tha kyonki hume uski zarurat thi taki wo mujhe Mohona se bacha sake? Aur ab kyonki mujh par koi khatra nahi hai, to aapko bhi usse koi matlab nahi hai?
Realising what he just said, Ansh immediately snapped his mouth shut...
Ved: Ye tu kya bol raha hai Ansh??
Ansh could see the tears welling up in his mother's eyes. He knew she was hurt... He knew he shouldn't have said those things...
But what could he do? They were simply not ready to understand that he wanted to go with Pia and help her...
Ansh: I am sorry Maa... Main aapko hurt nahi karna chahta tha...
Tears began to form in his eyes when he saw his mother sad...
Ved (almost crying): To tu samajh kyon nahi raha Ansh? Agar tujhe kuch ho gaya to...
Ansh interrupted her before she could complete her sentence...
Ansh: Aur agar Pia ko kuch ho gaya na Maa, to main apne aap ko kabhi maaf nahi kar paunga... (Wiping his tears) Nahi Maa, main Pia ko kuch nahi hone de sakta. Main uske saath jaunga...
Meanwhile, Vedashree decided to take one last chance to stop Ansh...
Ved: Ansh tujhe meri...
But Ansh again interrupted her before she could complete her statement...
Ansh: Maa please, apni kasam mat dijiye... Kyonki aapki kasam todte hue mujhe bahut bura lagega...
Vedashree was shocked...
Ved: Matlab?
Ansh: I am sorry Maa par aaj apki kasam bhi mujhe nahi rok payegi... Main Pia ke saath jaunga... Aashirvad dijiye Maa.
He bent down and touched her feet. With a heavy heart, Vedashree placed her hand on his head and blessed him. A lump formed in her throat thinking about the dangers which Ansh might have to face. Ansh took the blessings of all the other senior Rathods present there. They all blessed him with heavy hearts.
Finally, he turned towards the door...
They all had just reached the threshold of his room when suddenly, they stopped dead in their tracks hearing a painful scream...
"AAAAAHHHH!!!!"
PS. Achha na lage, to you can directly say ki this was not good...
comment:
p_commentcount