Chapter 9: The Reason He Lives
"Baba," Ranveer said as his father stood up from the bed. The old man looked towards his son. "I'm sorry."
His father smiled, realizing where the conversation was heading and stood rigid on his place. "No worries. You need to take care of yourself. We're not going to be around all the time."
Ranveer fell silent as though his father's words came as a harsh blow and he shook his head. "I'm not going to let you go anywhere. You and Maa will stay with me forever."
His father let out a small laugh.
"Baba," Ranveer said again when his father began to walk. "We might not be as rich as many people around us are. Or as lavish, but you know what? I'm going to get you a house of our very soon. We'll have our house, cars, and everything we want in life. I promise." As Ranveer spoke, his eyes sparkled with joy and a smile rarely seen adorned his handsome features. His father laughed and shook his head, amused.
"You have said that hundreds of times before, you know that?"
"Yes, and I'm going to fulfill all of my promises. You just wait and watch, Baba." Ranveer waved his hands in the air as an assurance while his father shrugged. Better not to give into the whimsical daydreams of his son.
"Let's wait and watch together." His father chuckled. "We both know out of all the people you are the one who can never leave this house." Kailash emphasized his last sentence little too much.
Ranveer hushed at once, and it took him a minute to gather himself up before he asked the obvious. "What do you mean?" His voice shook a little, but not too much to entrench any doubt in his father's thoughts.
"Mota Bhai and Ishani. You can't live without either of these two, can you?"
Ranveer blushed and smiled, embarrassed. Thankfully Baba didn't notice the colour of his face change as he left with an amused smile.
"I'm leaving with Mota Bhai and will not be returning home for tonight."
Ranveer nodded his head. "He wanted to see me before you two left, Baba. I'll be returning soon."
The evening was quiet, Ranveer observed, with no one in sight as far as his eyes could follow while the afternoon sun immersed the lobby in the warm golden glow. He climbed up the stairs, on the second floor remained his Mota Babuji's room in the quiet. The door was closed, but before he could knock at it the door opened automatically. Inside stood his Falguni Maa. Her features softened at his sight and she sighed.
"Falguni Maa, Mota Babuji... Where is he?" Ranveer asked before awkwardness crept in. There were rarely the times she talked to him.
"He's outside. Waiting for you, I think," Falguni answered and began walking away.
Ranveer nodded and turned back before her voice stopped him again.
"Ranveer." He turned back abruptly. "What Baa did was terrible. I'm not sure about your share of mistakes in anything that happened yesterday, but I'd hope you none of that is repeated again." Falguni left without another word, not giving him a chance to even nod his head in agreement and gratitude. Recalling where he was Ranveer rushed quickly to his Mota Babuji, who thankfully waited for him in the garden, wearing his usual three-piece suit and the kindest smile which never wavered from its gentleness. The man who Ranveer considered his God. He remembered the first day they had met.
"Why are you still awake, my boy?" His Mota Babuji had said one day years ago. He was just 9 years old.
"I- I was waiting for you, Mota Babuji," he had answered, his lowest form of voice resonated in the large hall devoid of anyone but them. "Baba said that you'd return late."
The look in the man's eyes was unreadable. "And aren't you feeling sleepy?" He glanced at the watch. "It's 11.30 already. What about your school?"
He had half-shrugged his shoulders, unsure how to react. He didn't go to school until then, for his father wasn't in state to let him admitted to a school. Although they had talked of a local government school which allowed the poor students to study at low cost after passing a scholarship exam. Yet the dream was still a far-fetched idea. Ranveer shook his head.
"I don't go to school yet."
His Mota Babuji appeared crestfallen for a moment and then said, "Do you want to study?"
"I want to be a big man!" the nine-year old boy had said. "Just like you..." His little voice added in the end and Harshad Parekh had smiled again.
"And studying is important for that, do you know it?"
Ranveer had cowered at having no answers. "Did you too go to school?"
"Of course I did!"
He thought for a while and blushed when his new friend found him lost in thoughts. "I do want to go to school, but..."
"But?"
Ranveer hesitated. "No, nothing." He shook his head.
"You can tell me."
Ranveer gasped when he realized Harshad Parekh sat on the floor right next to him. It was a blasphemy, the young boy's mind mused, but the gentleman stared at him curiously, as if waiting for the answers Ranveer had abandoned.
"It's... nothing, Mota Babuji," he said and got to his feet. "I'll have your dinner ready."
"Alright." He sighed.
It was on the second day of that conversation Harshad Parekh had come into his room and talked to his father for 15 minutes before walking upto him.
"You will be going to school from tomorrow." He had smiled. And from that moment Ranveer knew he had found one more soul to treasure in this strange place, for the way his eyes twinkled were too kind to be real. Yet they were. Ranveer had rushed to Ishani before he had found her in the secret den, to inform her that he would be going to a school as well. That was another story worth cherishing for...
15 years had changed everything today. He became what he was today because of his Mota Babuji and would continue to be.
"Ah, you are here." Harshad Parekh turned towards him as he heard the soft footsteps behind him.
"Yes, Mota Babuji." Ranveer's feet halted before the man.
"Ranveer," he said, fidgeting with a leaf that parted itself from a dying plant in front of him. "You know you have been the most loyal to me all these years. I can trust you with my closed eyes any day, any hour."
Ranveer nodded, unsure to determine the direction of the conversation. He noticed the dark hues of the clouds gather in the sky as they shadowed the earth around them.
"Papa!" A voice before Harshad Parekh could speak echoed and they turned towards it. "What is this?" There stood Ishani with a packet in her hand, her eyes questioning.
"Take it to your Maa, Ishani," Harshad said. "It's a gift she's deserved for a long time."
"But what is it?" Ishani asked, blinking her eyes.
"Let your Maa see that first, will you?"
Ishani and Ranveer glanced at each other, and smiled. "Only for Maa? Nothing for your daughters, Papa?" Ishani sounded petulant as she struggled to burst into the fits of laughter.
"Ishani, this all is yours," he said, glancing around, indicating towards the entire property that belonged to him. "For now, don't be a brat and take this to her, alright? It's a long overdue gift. From my last foreign visit."
Grudgingly, Ishani left.
"You love Falguni Maa so much, Mota Babuji," Ranveer said as he looked at his Mota Babuji in awe. The old man nodded.
"How?" The question was almost spontaneous.
Harshad sighed. "This is how love is, Ranveer. It's passion. Movies try to illustrate it, novels try to romanticize it, but rarely do people feel it. It's a feeling that has the ability to make one forget everything else in this world. Nothing matters beyond this emotion, Ranveer... where you live and die for one person even if they don't consider this a part of their life. Aashiqui. Nothing defines this feeling better than this word." His voice was dreamy and low.
Ranveer stared at his Mota Babuji, overwhelmed, as the sudden realization dawned upon him. He smiled to himself, for the small smile which his Mota Babuji's face always welcomed at the mention of his wife was more powerful today. The reason? She'd be the happiest knowing her husband had taken time from his busy schedule for her. This was how relationships worked. This was how two people loved each other.
"But how do you live when the person you love doesn't even know about you... or your love?" Ranveer asked.
"That's the thing, my boy!" Harshad answered. "Love isn't about owning your love, but losing yourself in it."
Ranveer smiled. The irony, he realized. "You always say that, yes."
"Absolutely." Harshad smiled.
"Mota Babuji, you wanted to discuss something?" Ranveer asked, recalling the strayed conversation before reaching at Love.
"Ah, yes. I did."
"Can you two please postpone this conversation for a while?" Ishani's face popped up again and both the men laughed at her sight. "I want to take my friend somewhere for a while."
"Ishani," Ranveer interrupted. "Stop it."
"What? Don't forget Ishani Parekh exists as well!" She stood beside Ranveer and shook her head. "Anyway, Papa, according to your promise you had given him off for two days. You can't do the cheating right now."
Harshad laughed at his daughter's antics. "But, Ishani, this is an urgent matter."
"Please postpone it for two days," Ishani said and shrugged.
"Ishani, it's urgent we're discussing right now."
"Papa," Ishani implored.
Harshad gave a sigh and laughed again. "Alright. Ranveer, we'll talk over this matter once we return. And, Ishani, no mischief when I'm away."
Ishani's face lightened up and she smiled, beaming at Ranveer triumphantly who remained little hesitant, wondering what she might be thinking.
"We need to go, then, Ranveer. Or we'll get late!" Ishani said, and dragged Ranveer out of the garden, laughing cheerfully.
"Ishani, what's wrong with you?" Ranveer said, trying to rid his arm from her grasp.
"Papa was breaking his promise. And anyway, I'm his daughter and have learned to keep them from him only," Ishani said. "Let's go. I want to take you somewhere."
"That place has to have a name, right?"
"Of course." Ishani smiled.
The evening sun kissed the horizon, sprawling the iridescent rays in the hazy sky covered with the patches of the grey clouds. Warmth of the afternoon began to fade away as the evening air summoned its keen frigidity. It was now Ranveer realized why Ishani remained so impatient for the entire day. The place, little too far from their home, was a home in itself. She loved it here. The distant mountains concealed the sun behind them while the streetlamps sideways set aglow as the darkness wore on, replacing the somberness with silver light. There were no people around, only them. The tranquility of the hour was welcome to them both.
"Well, if you'd told me you wanted to visit this place, you could've told me," Ranveer said as he came out of his reverie.
Ishani rolled her eyes. "That's the thing, silly. You always drive me here whenever I'm upset, and this was my time to do the same, don't you think?"
"I wasn't upset."
"Liar!"
"No, your brain cooks a lot of unnecessary stuff. Lock that somewhere else." He stared around to avoid looking at her, for his mind somehow began making up the fictional stories that would never come true.
"Lock the brain?" Ishani frowned.
"No, the unnecessary stuff."
"You should thank me I spent my entire day for you, planning and convincing Papa to let me come here with you."
"I didn't ask you to, by the way!"
Ishani made her face. "What an ungrateful fellow."
"Oh, hello! I got you out of trouble for third time this month. Better think before you frame your words," Ranveer said, pride too evident on his face.
"Exactly. That's why I got you here."
Ranveer and Ishani laughed at the realization of their arguments as their features reposed. Ishani smiled and turned her face away to look at the glow that the setting sun left behind.
"It's so beautiful, isn't it?"
Ranveer nodded as they sat on a bench, his eyes never leaving hers.
"It's been so long we came here," Ishani said, looking at him. Ranveer smiled.
"More than 6 months, maybe?" Ranveer too watched the colours of the sky replaced by the darkness, few stars popping in.
"Exactly."
Ranveer sighed. He glanced at Ishani who stared at the darkening sky in front of her. A smile warmed his face as the years passed flashed in front of him like the sparks of the shooting stars. He knew she would never be his or love him back. Her parents were looking for a suitable match for her. How many times did she say no one would handle her better than him? Only if she meant it... It was only a matter of the chance when she would fly away from him like a butterfly on a cool spring morning journeying to find a new life.
"Now, I only want Ishani to get married soon," her father said to him the other day, the most unexpected thing Ranveer would have hoped his Mota Babuji to tell him. Never would his mentor say anything that hurt him. But it was a bitter truth Ranveer could not escape.
He had struggled to speak, his thoughts utterly ruffled at the onset of a new era. "Ishani has grown up now," his Mota Babuji has enthused, thoroughly oblivious to the inflamed torment within him. "And who else will help me if not you, Ranveer? I have seen your friendship with Ishani since childhood. You might be the servant to everyone else- my driver's son, but to me you are like a son."
"As you wish, Mota Babuji," he had said without uttering another word.
Only if he could tell what he felt for her... "I love her," a voice within him spoke.
"Did you say something?" Ishani said, jolting him out of his thoughts and Ranveer looked around. The darkness had begun to take over and the solitude of the place became more prominent.
"No." He smiled. Ishani smiled as well. And he knew this was a smile he was going to miss the most after... The thought was far too unbearable to even think.
"What about your future?" Ranveer asked Ishani, surprising her suddenly. Did his heart want to have a hope despite knowing there would be none?
"What do you mean?"
Ranveer stood up, unable to meet eyes with her and trying to keep his voice forcibly steady. "You're grown up. Finished your graduation. What now?"
Ishani thought for a moment. "Maa wants me to get married," she answered, her voice little heavy. "And so does Papa."
"What about you?" He didn't look back.
Ranveer could feel her looking at him, as though determining a decision. "I have a plan to go to the US for Higher Studies, you know. I'm preparing for that already. But Maa wouldn't understand..." her voice faltered.
Ranveer gulped. "I can understand that," he said and turned back. "There're the exotic birds flocking over there. Want to see?"
"Yes!"
Ishani got to her feet and looped her arm around his. Ranveer jumped away, unfurling her arms from his and furrowed his brows. "Ishani," he said, irritated. "Stay away!"
Ishani grimaced at him but didn't budge, her arm still remained curled around his as they walked. "Shut up, and lead me wherever you want me to."
The birds circled around and flew away immediately, scattering in various directions- some soaring heavily in the air. Ishani watched, smiling, as she slipped her hand in Ranveer's, and Ranveer saw the biggest wonder of his life: Ishani. Her face glistened like the first droplet of dew in the morning, dripping with longing and joy he hadn't seen for a long time. She smiled and he dared to enclose his quivering palm around hers, deep down praying never to break them apart when the time came. If it meant selfishness, he didn't mind, because a part of him knew he wouldn't live without her.
The night closed down when Ishani and Ranveer arrived home, quietly pressing their way within the mansion. The house was silent and they prayed Baa never knew of this trip.
"Everyone is probably asleep," Ishani said as she tiptoed alongside Ranveer and he nodded. "Let's hope Baa isn't here."
"You go to your room," Ranveer whispered. "Just in case she sees you here..."
"You'll do the epic stupidity again, right? Like... taking the blame on yourself..."
"Ishani."
"No, you go first. I'm starving... Wait, you must be as well. Come, let's have dinner first."
"Are you mad?" Ranveer almost shouted but silenced at her glare. He spoke more slowly now. "Baa hates it. I'm a servant in this house and have no right to..."
"To hell with everything," Ishani said, as if offended by something he said. "Are you hungry?"
"Terribly!"
"Let's go to my room. No one visits it."
Ranveer smiled at the smoothness of her words which spoke of the irony of her life so eloquently.
The place was silent and dark, in a moment stirring to life with the blast of the yellow light revealing a ravished room fed with all the happiness from the outside, but in its soul resided a slowly stirring sadness. He felt it everytime his feet fell in this place. How many unsaid painful secrets she hid perhaps no one knew. They entered the room, hands full of the food waiting their attention as their stomachs grumbled, pronouncing the obvious. Ishani entered the room first and placed the trays on the table.
Ranveer blinked several times to getting used to the presence of the light and stared around. Ishani noticed the traces of reluctance on his face and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. "Ranveer, when I said no one visits this room, I meant it. You don't have to worry about anyone saying anything to you here."
He smiled but said nothing. Ishani took the trays from Ranveer and helped him arrange the food they brought from the fridge on the table. Renouncing the hesitance he felt until a moment ago, Ranveer found himself blending with the happiness he would feel whenever she was around, cognizant to anyone but her. But the glee suddenly came to a halt when-
"What are you doing here?" Baa's ferocious voice erupted, jolting Ishani and Ranveer out of their little world as Ranveer abandoned his food midway. Ishani looked at him, troubled.
"Baa, we'd been to somewhere else for a while and when we returned home, everyone was asleep. We were starving... and so we decided to..." Ishani spoke, but fell silent.
"Social service is a good thing, Ishani," Baa said, her face grim. "But getting the servants of the house in your room to have dinner with them is not. Harshad is a fool. Even you know that. You can at least respect the family's honour if not the tradition. Can you not, Ishani?" Baa added extra flavor of sweetness in her tone as she spoke. Ranveer noticed Ishani remained resolute, unmoving. Knowing the trouble, he stood up.
"Baa is right. Ishani, you should finish your dinner and go to sleep," he said and began walking away when Baa's voice stopped him.
She wrenched his ear. "I hope it's the last time you show around. Harshad won't save you everytime, mind you!"
"Baa, stop it please!" Ishani said, standing up.
"I'm letting you go now, doesn't mean I will let you in future as well," she threatened venomously before letting go of his ear.
Ranveer nodded and without looking up, he left.
"Nothing better than Sunny and noodles!" Ranveer said as he prepared for the dinner eventually. The tiring day had to culminate into something brilliant, after all. The Television before him played a latest song of Sunny Leone, Ranveer preparing to relish the noodles alongside. However, to his unexpected horror, a knock at the door suddenly sounded, tearing aloud in the quiet. Stupefied, he rushed here and there, unsure what to do first. He quickly covered the TV with the clothe he could get his hands on and rushed to open the door. There stood Ishani with a tray.
"I brought this food for you." Her small voice sounded apologetic.
Ranveer furrowed his brow, hoping she wouldn't come in, but before he could even protest, Ishani pushed her way in. "This wasn't needed, Ishani," he said, trying not to look at the TV which still played the song.
"It was." Ishani tucked the tray on the table and turned to look at him. She smiled.
"You should go now," Ranveer said, hoping she wouldn't get too close to the TV, for another song also came from one of Sunny's movie.
"What's that sound?" Ishani asked as the song its crescendo and Ranveer flinched, cursing under his breath the bad luck.
"I'm dead now!" He rushed to Ishani. "No sound, Ishani." He tried to switch off the TV, but too late.
Ishani gasped and Ranveer whirled away, hiding his face in his hands. It was too silent. She was too quiet. He looked around.
"What on earth do you keep watching, Ranveer?" Ishani shouted, her voice soaring in the quiet of the night.
"Ishani- silent. Baa..." he tried to explain but in vain.
"I thought you wouldn't watch them, Ranveer! Sunny Leone. Seriously?" Her last word cracked and creaked too loudly, as though unable to determine out of anger and frustration what she was supposed to feel.
"Let me explain, Ishani," Ranveer said and turned her to face him. "It's just a song, alright?"
"And it's disgusting!" Ishani screeched. "All the boys are just same."
"Well... It's not the first time I'm watching it for the first time..." He chuckled but shut up when the joke failed.
She raised an eyebrow.
"Anyway, I'm starving right now. Do you want me do die of hunger or...?"
Without a word, Ishani sat on the bed. "I'm starving too." He looked surprised and Ishani continued. "Well, I couldn't go on without you."
Ranveer chuckled softly.
"And you..." She looked at him. "Why do you keep doing everything like this?"
"Like what?"
"When Baa insults you... why can't you for once tell her not to call you that?"
Ranveer placed the food in the arranged plates and looked at her. "Because she's right," he answered with a smile.
"But it's wrong."
"I don't know..." he said and thought for a while. "I work here and that's why it doesn't change the fact that I am a servant in this house, does it? Baba is the driver of Mota Babuji, so..."
Ishani sighed and shook her head. They silently ate their food, trying not to delve into the conversations which wouldn't go anywhere when their famished selves took over.
"This was brilliant!" Ranveer said, pushing away the plates as they were finished.
"I know."
"Ishani." She looked at him. Her eyes sparkled. "It's late and you should be off already."
She nodded, but showed no sign of getting up. "Do you think Gauri di is happy?"
Her question surprised him, but Ranveer shrugged his shoulders. "It must be a new place for her..."
"You boys will never understand this feeling, Ranveer," she interrupted. "It's us, the girls, who have to leave home and go to live with a stranger and his family." Her voice was low and lingering sadness loomed. "Sometimes this thought scares me."
"Why are you afraid?" Ranveer said and Ishani looked at him. "I'll always be there for you." He immediately regretted the slipped words but Ishani smiled.
"Right. I'll take you as my dowry." A string of laughter echoed in the room and Ranveer looked away. "What?" She ruffled his hair and laughed harder.
"I love it when you laugh like this," he said absently, but Ishani didn't notice the mysterious joy behind the said words and continued to laugh. Realizing what time it was, Ranveer stood up and pulled Ishani along as well. "Now, go home. If Baa finds this out, we're both going to get hanged tomorrow." He gestured the said action and Ishani laughed again. "Are you drunk?"
"No, suddenly I'm happy," Ishani said.
"I'm glad."
"And you know what? You are the reason," she said before walking into the darkness.
Ranveer remained stupefied for a moment and when he exited the room., Ishani was already gone. From a distance her voice called. "Thank you, Ranveer Vaghela!"
He turned back, smiling. "No, thank you, Ishani Parekh," he whispered.
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