3.3. Money
One of the biggest constraints is money. Normally when we talk of money as a constraint, it refers to shortage of money. But on the contrary, money acts as a constraint in keeping good relations with relatives, when it is more. When it comes to money, a man neither listens anything nor does he sees anything; money gets supreme over all things. This is the biggest cause of rupture of ties of kinship. Brothers becoming enemies of each other due to tussles over wealth is a common phenomenon now. Families indulged in cold war like situation due to financial disputes can be found in plenty nowadays.
The attachment of man with money is very dangerous.
3.4. Influence of other family members
This is yet another problem which becomes a hurdle in maintaining good relations with blood relatives. In some families, mother doesn't want her kids to meet their paternal relatives, while at some places a father doesn't want his kids to meet their maternal relatives. Some husbands do not want their wives to meet her relatives, while some wives do not like to keep relations with relatives of her husband, and even try that her husband also stays away from them. Somewhere it is a matter of prestige, somewhere it is because of old disputes over financial matters, while somewhere it is because of stupid clashes over minor things. Each of these acts is wrong, and against Islam.
4. Special mention of spending on relatives
Spending wealth on relatives holds a big significance in Islam. If any of our relatives are poor, they at first place deserve (the portion of) our Zakat. Similarly, they also demand their haq on other charity which we do. Sadly, nowadays, people tend to shy away from spending money on others. It does not mean that we have to spend in a wasteful manner on them; rather it is command from Allah that if someone has been blessed in wealth by Allah, he should take care of financial needs of his close relatives. How can it be that he sleeps in an air-conditioned room and his brother doesn't have a proper room for shelter? It is not allowed for a Muslim to keep his/her vault with full wealth, while someone else in his blood relations is struggling daily to make his ends meet. The problem is, richer we get, farther we keep going from our relatives who are poor; rich ones consider them below their standard; they consider that their tastes don't match... and so on and so on...
Remember, spending on relatives not only brings us hasanaat, but also brings blessings from Allah in our wealth. Refer to following hadith:
Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): I heard Allah's Messenger (PBUH) saying, "Whoever is pleased that he be granted more wealth, and that his lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith and kin."
(Hadith No. 5985, Book of Al-Adab, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8).
What do we come to know? Keeping good relations with our blood relatives may sometimes need us to spend on them, but instead of worrying about spending our wealth on them, we should be happy that it will bring prosperity to our lives, both in terms of increase in wealth and also increase in life. But what a pity, majority is doing otherwise. Most of the disaccords among relatives take place due to financial matters.
We have to keep in mind that spending on our relatives is their haq, and whoever is blessed in wealth by Allah, should do so and should not cease to do so as far as Allah provides him/her wealth. I wish to draw attention of readers to the following verse of Qur'an:
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"And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, Al-Masakin, and those who left their homes fro Allah's Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
(Aayah No. 22, Surah An-Nur, Chapter No. 24, Holy Qur'an).
This Aayah was revealed concerning Abu Bakr (RA), when he swore that he would not help Mistah bin Uthathah after he accused Aishah (RA). Mistah was cousin of Abu Bakr (RA), son of his maternal aunt, and was a poor man. He had no money except what Abu Bakr (RA) used to give (spend on) him. After this Aayah was revealed, Abu Bakr (RA) resumed spending on him.
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