One hadith Everyday - Page 3

Eavesdropping on people who do not want to be hear

The man (father/husband) is the keeper and leader of his family'. (Mishkt).

Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, That man unto whom a child is born should give it a good name and ensure the beautiful and correct Islamic nurturing of the child. When the child comes of age, he should get the child married. Should the father fail to do so and his offspring indulges in sin, then the weight and punishment of it will come to bear upon the father' (Mishkt)

Qualities to Look for in a Spouse
Importance of the Topic
Making sure that Muslims are well-matched
to their spouses is one of the most
important and potentially difficult functions
in Muslim society. The individual seeking
marriage must have his/he

Narrated Anas: The Prophet (peace be upon
him) said, "The real patience is at the first
stroke of a calamity."

Narrated Anas: The Prophet (peace be uponhim) said, "The patience should be come at first shock."

Hadith about Chasity

Allaah The Almighty praises those who preserve their chastity and make this a means of success in the Hereafter; He Almighty Says (what means): {Certainly will the believers have succeeded: They who are during their prayer humbly submissive. And they who turn away from ill speech. And they who are observant of Zakaah [obligatory charity]. And they who guard their private parts except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed - But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.}[Quran 23:1-7]

Allaah The Almighty promises such successful believers Paradise, as He Says (what means): {Those are the inheritors. Who will inherit Al-Firdaws. They will abide therein eternally.} [Quran 23:10-11]

This meaning was further confirmed by the Prophet, , in manyHadeeths. He, , said: "If a woman prays the five obligatory prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she will be told: Enter Paradise from whichever door you wish.'" [Ahmad, Al-Albaani - Saheeh]

The Prophet, , said: "Guarantee six things for me and I will guarantee Paradise for you: tell the truth when you speak, keep your promises, discharge your trusts, preserve your chastity, lower your gaze, and restrain your hands." [Ahmad, Ibn Hibbaan, and Al-Haakim, Al-Haakim - Saheeh]

In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abdullaah ibn Abbaas the Prophet, , said:"O youth of the Quraysh! Do not commit adultery. Whoever preserves his chastity will enter Paradise." [Al-Haakim, Al-Haakim -Saheeh]

On the other hand, the one who does not preserve his chastity will enter Hell. The Prophet, , was asked about the most common causes that lead people to Hell and he answered: "The mouth and the private parts."[Ibn Hibbaan]

The effect of preserving one's chastity on the individual and on society is immense as it is a means of avoiding the miseries associated with adultery. Ibn Al-Qayyim referred to some of these woes when he said,"Adultery combines all evils: it weakens faith, uproots religious prudence, corrupts nobility and wipes out jealousy. One would never find an adulterer who is religiously prudent, keeps his promises, tells the truth or retains a friend. This is because treachery, lying, lack of bashfulness and jealousy and not disdaining from committing what is prohibited are all required of the person who commits this awful sin." He who preserves his chastity protects himself from all these evil qualities.

Means of preserving chastity

The noble Islamic Shareeah commands us to preserve our chastity. It points out clear ways to protect the individual and the society in this regard. It encourages us to preserve our chastity and purity and raises us on the desire to protect our womenfolk. It orders us to lower our gaze, ordains Hijaab for women and forbids them from exposing their beauty. Moreover, it sets a severe punishment for adultery and encourages the youth to get married at an early age if they can afford to do so, while those who cannot afford marriage are encouraged to fast. All this was legislated in order to protect the Muslims from having uncontrollable desires and overwhelming instincts and in order to preserve lineage.

When the Islamic Shareeah calls for marriage and encourages people to do so, it thereby makes the preservation of chastity as one of its most important goals. The Prophet, , said: "O Youth! Whoever of you can afford marriage then let him get married as it lowers gaze and [protects] the private parts..." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

One of the benefits of a Muslim preserving his chastity through marriage is that whenever he sees something and his inner self whispers evil to him, he would find that he has something lawful that could replace what is prohibited. Hence, the Prophet, , said: "If any of you likes a woman and this feeling reaches his heart, he should go and have sexual intercourse with his wife as this would remove what is in his heart."[Muslim]

Preserving chastity is a cause of supplications being answered

In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah the Prophet, , said:Ibraaheem [Abraham] emigrated with Sarah and went to a town that had a tyrannical king. He was told that Ibraaheem had arrived with an extremely beautiful woman. Thus, the tyrant sent for him and asked, Who is that woman with you?' Ibraaheem said, She is my sister.' Then he went back to her and said, Do not say something different from what I have said as I have told them that you are my sister. By Allaah, there are no believers on earth except you and I [explaining that he had meant that she was his sister in Islam].'

She was sent to the king and he got up. So, she performed ablution and prayed. She supplicated to Allaah The Almighty saying, O Allaah, if I have believed in You and in Your Messenger, and have guarded my private parts except for my husband, then do not give this disbeliever power over me.' The man [king] fell as if he was suffocating and fled. This happened three times and every time she supplicated to Allaah The Almighty to drive the tyrant away.

Finally, the king said, By Allaah, you have brought me a devil. Send her back to Ibraaheem and give her a servant.' When she went back to Ibraaheem she said, Look how Allaah suppressed the disbeliever and blessed me with a servant!'

Therefore, Allaah The Almighty answered her supplication when she asked Him by virtue of her faith and chastity.

Preserving chastity is a cause for attaining forgiveness and a great reward

Because man is born with an innate desire, Allaah The Almighty orders mankind to preserve their chastity and promises them a great reward in return. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allaah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts}. [Quran 24:30-31]

Allaah The Almighty promises those who guard their private parts a great reward and forgiveness. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {The men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allaah often and the women who do so - for them Allaah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.} [Quran 33:35]

1. Who are these blood relatives?

The first place among the blood relatives is reserved for parents. No one among the relatives equals them in the status given to them by Allah. The details regarding status of parents in Islam are so much that it is not good to discuss them as a sub-heading. So, Insha'Allah we shall talk in detail about them in a separate discussion.

After parents, other blood relations are off-springs, brothers, sisters, paternal uncles and aunts, their off-springs (i.e. first cousins from paternal side), maternal uncles and aunts, their off-springs (i.e. first cousins from maternal side) and then other relatives as well. Spouses do not categorize under blood relations.

2. What are the ways to maintain good ties with blood relatives?

It is not a big task. Keeping good relations with blood relatives is fairly simple. Allah says:

' ' ' '' ' '' ' ' '' ' '' ' '' '

"Verily, Allah orders justice and kindness, and giving (help) to the relatives, and He forbids immoral sins, and evil and tyranny. He admonishes you, that you may take heed."

(Aayah no. 90, Surah An-Nahl, Chapter No. 16, Holy Qur'an).

So, the command is for helping the relatives.

How can we help our relatives?

It can be done in various ways:

2.1. By visiting them

Visiting our relatives (regularly) and be with them in their happiness and the times of sorrow (or grief); is it such a difficult task? Almost everyone will agree that it is not a difficult task to do.

2.2. Spending money on relatives

If someone wish to spend his wealth for good (i.e. in Allah's Cause), the relatives command their due. And this haq is given to them by Allah. Refer to following verse of Holy Qur'an:

' ' '' ' ' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

"They ask you (O Muhammad, PBUH) what they should spend. Say: Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarer and whatever you do of good deeds, truly Allah knows it well."

(Aayah No. 215, Surah Al-Baqarah, Chapter No. 4, Holy Qur'an).

This Aayah confirms that if someone has been blessed in wealth by Allah, then he should spend on his relatives (as well as other people mentioned above) who are in need of financial support. Similar command is given to us in Aayah no. 90, Surah An-Nahl, Chapter No. 16, mentioned in previous section.

2.3. Helping them emotionally and physically

This means that whenever our relatives need our physical presence near to them, we should be with them. It may be a case of marriage of any of our relatives, or a there might be a death among anyone's relatives, or other events of joy or sorrow. It is mandatory that we stand by our blood relations in all the events of their lives, and especially when it comes to testing times.

3. Constraints in face of maintaining good relations

There are some constraints which pose a challenge to us in maintaining good ties with our blood relatives. These are discussed below.

3.1. We don't have time for our relatives.

One of the biggest constraints of modern life is that we don't have time for others. We are so much busy shaping our careers and individual lives, that our blood relatives become just a matter of formality and our meetings are limited to deaths or marriages, that too rare nowadays. People live in same city, but they have no idea about whereabouts of their relatives who also live in same city. Ask anyone about his/her so and so relative, the answer is We don't get time to meet them'. Forget meeting, we don't even get time to talk them on telephone or by letters or any means of media. Shocking! I feel pathetic towards those who put forward this reason / excuse. The world is a smaller place now, thanks to technology. Relatives living at far distances can be in touch with each other by so many means of communications (like phone, internet etc.). We can find time for our career oriented gatherings, late night sittings with friends, watching useless gossips on television, going to entertainment clubs etc, but there is no time to visit relatives. Sorry, bring forward some other argument, I can't take this.

3.2. We have become self-centred.

True, man has become self-centred, and increasingly becoming so. This is such a bad characteristic of a human being, and sorry to say, we are getting like that now. It is only our kids and spouses who matter for us, rest all are meaningless to us now. What a shame!