How do people feel regarding marriage? Do they want a grand dreamy wedding like Sid-Kiara recently had?
Or maybe they had a small private ceremony with only a few close people, like Ranbir-Alia?
Or perhaps they don't want any wedding at all?
Just like Shibani mentioned, we sent a questionnaire around to find out what people's experiences and opinions are, regarding marriage. Are they happily married, or do they run away from the name of marriage? Or maybe they are still waiting to taste the shadi ka ladoo? ...We split them into three categories to find out!
Maroonporsche:
1. Are you married? If not, are you considering marriage or do you grab your heels and running the second someone says "marriage"
Yes married
2. If you are married, what was the whole pre wedding situation like, emotionally? If you aren't, what has convinced you that you are now ready (or not) for a partner
It was nerve racking considering it was all arranged with no meeting
3. Any story that you can relate to your marriage, partner hunting or relationship that you want to share with the public as a push for them to consider marriage or as a warning sign that it's a bad idea.
Yes be ready that they’re gonna argue with you. An sometimes they won’t make any sense. Just try to listen
4. Any advice for fellow IF-ers wrt marriage/weddings/relationships.
Always look at your significant others music playlist
Anonymous
1. Are you married? If not, are you considering marriage or do you grab your heels and running the second someone says "marriage"
- Yes I am married and completing a decade together this year.
2. If you are married, what was the whole pre wedding situation like, emotionally? If you aren't, what has convinced you that you are now ready (or not) for a partner
-The whole pre- wedding thing was super stressful. My wedding date was fixed in April when my hubby was about to visit india n booked his tickets and we only had a month to prepare. Hubby was coming only for a 1.5!months. That too cut short as he was called back early by his company. So we only had like 15 days to shop for him. On my side My grandpa passed away that January so we couldn’t begin preparations until we complete the mourning period. Then had 2 more deaths in the family pushed the preparations for some more time. Thankfully my dad is very good at managing things. My all saree shopping done in a day. Jewelry in another day . A friend of mine was in printing business who helped me with wedding card selection and printing. Menu was decided in a day.(though all guests were praising the food and menu I haven’t tasted anything except the dhoklas.😅😅).
My MiL came and we did lehenga shopping that took 3 days 😵💫 as I roamed around whole city. For thise 3 days I could only see blingy lehengas in my dreams or whenever I close my eyes. At last finally got the lehenga which I liked a day before.
Our family tailor messed the trial saree blouses n at last we Found a designer who designed and stitched blouses for us. It was a hell of a ride. My hubby’s sherwani choosing took 3 days n I was super tired roaming around in hot march weather. Then the D day arrived and I was super exhausted by then that I got sick. I could say it was a hell of a ride almost like a roller coaster. No pre wedding photo shoots n nothing just riding on my scooter around the city to get things done.
Right now I am remembering all this and thinking what a month full of stress and running around.
3. Any story that you can relate to your marriage, partner hunting or relationship that you want to share with the public as a push for them to consider marriage or as a warning sign that it's a bad idea.
-I was 20-21 year old and studying when everyone around in the family the oldies were keep on asking my parents to find a match for me. in the weddings or family gatherings all asks you about when you are getting married and ask about your biodata etc. I stopped attending them after a while as I didn’t want to get married once😂😂
I was in an arrange marriage set up at first. But nothing was working as I didn’t like any of the guys. Met 2-4 guys. N after a rejection of a first guy I saw I literally developed cold feet. Nothing was working out. I was thinking where are the good guys at. 😂😂 Me and hubby were friends as he was guiding me regarding my university application abroad. One fine day he asked me what is going on with my life. I told him my parents are looking for a guy for arrange marriage set up. He said his parents were also looking a girl for him. Then why don’t we try for our match and ask our parents as he was visiting India that year. N I was like hain..? N laughed on it. Then next day he called me and said he was serious about it and already told his mom and sister about me. That he likes me and asked me to talk to my parents. My situation was a comedy one as I told my mom first and she got angry on me and told me she is not going to talk to my dad about this. I myself have to do the needful. 😂 one fine day when mom was not home I told my dad about a guy who is interested in meeting us for match making 😂. Dad asked me does your mom know? I said no.😂 he was like okay don’t tell your mom right now. Let me talk to her.😂😂 this is how they both agreed for the meeting n then our families met at my place. It took 3 months back n forth for his extended family to be agree with the match as our castes were different. There was drama , romance though no action in our wedding.😂 I can say ours was a love+ arranged marriage 😅
Marriage is not a bad idea. Yes you get hiccups on the way during the journey and a few speed breakers as well but eventually everything falls in place.
4. Any advice for fellow IF-ers wrt marriage/weddings/relationships.
Take your own sweet time before settling down. Don’t get fomo and jump in the sea 🌊 named shaadi😂
Always remember do choose a guy / girl who is understanding and caring and treats you with respect. As after 5-10 years down the line, looks don’t matter 😂
Somewhere you adjust yourself somewhere your partner adjust him/ her in the relationship thats how it works. I’m not saying adjusting yourself at the cost of your self respect.
Adjusting in the way the pieces of a puzzle work together and making a beautiful artwork.
Anonymous
1. Are you married? If not, are you considering marriage or do you grab your heels and running the second someone says "marriage"
Yes I am married.
2. If you are married, what was the whole pre wedding situation like, emotionally? If you aren't, what has convinced you that you are now ready (or not) for a partner
Well my marriage happened in just 5 days of preparation so I didnt feel the stress or craziness which happens in pre-wedding situations. So what happened was mahurat for wedding date came out to be either in December or Feb of next year so we decided to do December date because after that my mom had to go to India for 4 months. Anyways so we got to know the wedding date by priest literally 5 days before the wedding. My mom literally did all arrangment in 5 days, I dont know how she did it (especially in foreign country where it is hard to get garlands etc but everything was perfect).
3. Any story that you can relate to your marriage, partner hunting or relationship that you want to share with the public as a push for them to consider marriage or as a warning sign that it's a bad idea.
Before I met my husband, I was in a toxic relationship. In the starting, my ex was very nice and considerate then a sudden change happened, he became toxic, he used to make me feel like the most useless person in world, he used to talk bad about my parents too so I decided enough was enough and I broke up with him. After that I started to have trust issue so it took me a lot of time to be comfortable around my husband when I had met him. Anyways rest is history, he was able to make me open up to him, he was very gentelman and very understanding and patient and respects me and encouraged me and never pushed me for anything.
Lesson of this story is as soon as a relationship turns bad, just run for your life, i know it is hard but its better to be single then be in a bad relationship.
4. Any advice for fellow IF-ers wrt marriage/weddings/relationships.
The only advice I want to give to everyone when dating or looking for your patner is to look for someone who respects you and your family. Dont ever be in a relationship where you feel insecure of yourself or if the patner makes you feel like you are worthless. Also, dont rush into a marriage as its a long time commitment, only marry if you are sure that you are ready. Also, dont go for looks, go for someone who is good in heart.
Anonymous
1. Are you married?
Yes
2. If you are married, what was the whole pre wedding situation like, emotionally?
Exciting. Also a lot of nervousness & anxiety mostly because of the pressure of having the in-laws on both sides get along & having the entire ceremony happen without a glitch. There were people on both sides to handle the nitty-gritties but yeah, since it was my wedding, I had that pressure weighing on my head all through, even if everyone around me assured me it would be okay and asked me to 'just chill and focus on looking pretty'
As far as my relationship with my SO was concerned, it was very easy emotionally because of the bond we shared pre-wedding, so it was very organic for both of us to end up here.
3. Any story that you can relate to your marriage, partner hunting or relationship that you want to share with the public as a push for them to consider marriage or as a warning sign that it's a bad idea.
Not really.
4. Any advice for fellow IF-ers wrt marriage/weddings/relationships.
I think it's an individual thing. Marriage is a personal choice so there can be no cookie-cutter approach to it. I have seen several types of marriages and I think only the two people involved truly know how they feel. One thing is for sure - there is a lot of compromise, adjustment, letting-go involved - but this is true of every relationship. Just that marriage is more intimate than most relationships. So I would say, it depends on what each person wants out of a marriage and if it satisfies them emotionally, financially, physically or even spiritually.
What are you looking to get out of it is the key - Is it just being with the person you love? Is it companionship? Is it physical intimacy? Is it emotional bonding unlike anything you've known before? Is it wanting kids? Is it personal growth & evolution? Is it convenience? Is it financial assurance? Is it the benefit of having this one person to depend on always no matter what life throws at you?
Most marriages are a combination of the above. I think that's why no one can be an expert on marriage. What works for one may not work for another.
All I'd say is when you decide to marry someone, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons for you. You cannot predict how the marriage is going to be, nor can you predict its longevity. I'm sure most people go into a marriage thinking it's going to last forever. All you can do is make a decision at that point in time based on what you feel and whatever your life circumstances are.
It's important to have a conversation with your SO to make sure they understand the things that are important to you & what are the deal-breakers for you & vice-versa. Agree upon them and of course, work on your marriage every single day. The pay-off can be absolutely worth it.
continued in next post...
Edited by la_Reine - 1 years ago
so I'm listening to my heart
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