Hasta-prāpya-stabaka-namito bāla-Mandāra-vṛkṣaḥ (FF) Ch. 36 p. 15 - Page 15

Chapter Thirty-Four

Nikhil did not allow Mandar to get very far. "Dādā, asā ekaṭyāne kuṭhe zātoysa?" Dādā, where are you going by yourself like this? "Āpaṇa kuṭhetarī śāntapaṇe cahā pyāyalā basū." Let's go to drink tea somewhere and sit quietly. "Tū Vishnu-śī bolata asatānā Raghav-ne tuzhā hā phone moḍūna ṭākalā kā?" This phone of yours got broken by Raghav while you were talking to Vishnu, right? "Hā māzhā phone ghe āṇi tumaçaṃ bolaṇaṃ pūrṇa kara." Here, take my phone and finish your talk. "Maga Pallavi Dīlā suddhā phone kara, tulā baraṃ vāṭela." Then call Pallavi Dī too, you'll feel better.

Mandar began to sob as soon as Nikhil mentioned Pallavi. Throughout the past two years, when he hadn't known if he had a family that loved him, he had remembered Pallavi's name and imagined that finding Pallavi would comfort him. Now that name belonged to the sweet and loyal girl who had laughed with him on their date, who had cried in his arms and told him all about Raghav's indecency, his wife who was about to get hurt because he lusted after Farhad. Mandar had warned himself not to be like Raghav, not to mistreat Pallavi, but he had failed.

Nikhil led Mandar to a tea stall and made him sit down. Nikhil tried to get Mandar to talk, but Mandar could only look at him piteously, thinking of how his little brother believed in him, and he didn't deserve it.

"Dādā, Raghav-ne kāya kele āhe?" Dādā, what has Raghav done? "Tū kadhī janmāta ase kuṇālāhī phoḍūna kāḍhale nasaśīla." In your whole life, you wouldn't have beaten up anyone like this. "Toça tujhyā jīvāvara uṭhalā asaṇāra." It must be his fault, going for your life. "Pallavi Dīlā Raghav trāsa deta hotā tevhāṃ tine kuṇālāhī sāṅgitale nāhī, āṇi mī suddhā tyāçe kāma karata asalyāçe lapavale, tyāmuḷe āmhī doghehī nakaḷata tyācyā zāḷyāta aḍakalo." When Raghav was harassing Pallavi Dī, she didn't tell anybody, and I also hid that I was working for him; that's why both of us got caught in his web without knowing it. "Ātā to tujhyāvara je kāhī saṃkaṭa āṇata asela, tyālā toṇḍa dyāyalā Dī āṇi mī tujhyābarobara ubhe asū." Now, whatever trouble he's bringing your way, Dī and I will stand with you to face it. "Malā lahāna samazūna tū mājhyāpāsūna kāhī lapavū nakosa." Don't hide anything from me because you think I'm too young.

Mandar reflected that if he didn't tell Nikhil, someone else would. After the way Mandar had spoken to the reporters about Raghav yesterday, would Raghav pay him back, just as he had humiliated Pallavi in front of their family and neighbours? The thought made Mandar's legs tremble uncontrollably. Raghav, who hated infidelity, wouldn't hesitate to expose Mandar as an adulterer just as publicly as Mandar had promised, "Pallavi will never feel rejected again. ... We believe in our marriage." Would Āī have to listen to Anuradha Aunty indignantly wondering how her son could betray such a faithful wife to commit indecency with another man? Would passersby on the road point at Bābā for failing to teach his son proper moral values? That humiliation would be worse than Amruta's abortion, the scandals about Pallavi and Raghav, Nikhil's arrest, Bābā's own arrest ... If this killed Bābā, Mandar would never forgive himself.

Should Mandar be the one to die? Maybe Raghav had already arranged his execution to prove that no one got away with beating up Raghav Rao. Mandar thought about Raghav almost driving Dr. Kanika off a cliff, and felt a pang; he didn't want to pay with his life! Even when he hadn't known who he was, his life had been worth living. His death wouldn't make his family's disgrace go away, would it?

Farhad had told Mandar to be brave and proud. Was that an option? Mandar didn't have the courage to face Pallavi right now, or to talk it out with Vishnu, let alone to confess to Dr. Ramya, but he could plead with Nikhil to understand him.

"Dādā, mī aikatoya, tū phakta bola." Dādā, I'm listening, you just talk.

"Nikhil, malā punhā ghara soḍūna zāyalā lāgela, ase disate." I'll have to leave the family and go away again, it seems. Mandar tried not to cry, but his tears kept flowing. "Raghav-lā kaḷale āhe kī mī Pallavi-śī khoṭepaṇāne vāgalo, āṇi yāpuḍhe ticyā āyuṣyāta rahāyaçā māzhā kāhī hakka uralā nāhī." Raghav has found out that I behaved deceitfully with Pallavi, and I have no right to stay in her life anymore.

The look of disbelief on Nikhil's face made Mandar's heart ache, but he took a deep breath and told the truth. "Lahānapaṇāpāsūna malā samaliṅgī ākarṣaṇa vāṭata rāhile, āṇi tasalī vāgaṇūka āpalyālā śobhata nāhī hyācī malā zāṇīva hotī, mhaṇūna mī nehamī svataḥvara tābā ṭhevalā." Since childhood, I kept feeling homosexual attraction, and I was aware that behaving that way doesn't befit us, so I always kept myself in control.

Nikhil's face slackened as understanding entered his eyes.

Mandar continued, "Jevhāṃ māzhe lagna ṭharale tevhāṃ malā vāṭale kī Pallavi-sārakhyā çāṅgalyā mulībarobara māzhā svabhāva zuḷatoya, maga kadācit āmhī ekatra ramata zamavata kāhī divasa ghālavale kī mī he puruṣāṃçe vicitra ākarṣaṇa visarūna zāīna." When my marriage was arranged, I thought, my personality is clicking with a nice girl like Pallavi, so maybe after we spend a few days having fun and adjusting together, I will forget about this strange attraction to men. "Paṇa saṃsārāçā anubhava gheṇyācī saṃdhīça malā miḷālī nāhī." But I never even got an opportunity to experience married life. "Tyā apaghātāmuḷe mājhī smṛti naṣṭa zhālī, āṇi Pallavi-çe nāṃva tevaḍhe mājhyā lakṣāta rāhile, paṇa puruṣāṃçe ākarṣaṇa azūna vāṭata hote." I lost my memory due to that accident, and I remembered only Pallavi's name, but I still felt attraction to men. "Amma mānasopacāratajjña āhe, āṇi tine mājhyāsārakhyā anekazaṇāṃçe parivartana kele āhe, mhaṇūna mī ticī madata māgitalī, āṇi viṣamaliṅgī hoṇyāçā khūpa prayatna kelā." Amma is a psychiatrist, and she has converted many people like me, so I asked for her help, and I made a big effort to become heterosexual. "Pallavi-ne malā śodhūna kāḍhale tyāça divaśī malā āmacyā lagnābhovatīçe prasaṅga āṭhavāyalā lāgale." The same day that Pallavi discovered me, I began to remember incidents surrounding our marriage. "Tevhāṃpāsūna Pallavi-ne āpalyā gharāsāṭhī kelele tyāga, Raghav-lā virodha karatānā tine dākhavalele dhairya, āṇi mājhī ardhāṅgī mhaṇūna mājhyā āṭhavaṇīlā tine dilelā māna, he sagaḷe divaseṃdivasa malā zase kaḷata gele, tase mājhyā manāta Pallavi-baddala ādara āṇi abhimāna vāḍhata gele." Since then, day by day, as I found out about the sacrifices that Pallavi made for our family, the courage she showed when she resisted Raghav, and how she honoured my memory as my other half, all of it, respect and pride grew in my heart for Pallavi. "Tilā phasavaṇyāçā māzhā hetu navhatā; ulaṭa tilāça Raghav-pāsūna suṭakā havī hotī, āṇi tilā gharī āṇūna ticyā hakkāçe sukha deṇe he māzhe kartavya malā pāḷāyaçe hote." My intention wasn't to deceive her; actually the opposite, she wanted to escape from Raghav, and I wanted to fulfil my obligation by bringing her home and giving her rightful comfort to her. "Paṇa ātā Raghav-lā kaḷale āhe kī mājhyā manāta kitī nīca vāsanā āhe." But now Raghav has found out what despicable lust is in my mind.

Nikhil cut off Mandar's speech by giving him a hug. "Dādā, tū svataḥlā doṣa deū nakosa." Dādā, don't blame yourself. "Raghav-sārakhyā vyasanī māṇasālā kāya kaḷataṃya?" What would a profligate person like Raghav understand? "Tulā vāṭaṇāre ākarṣaṇa avaghaḍa āhe, paṇa nīca nāhī." The attraction that you feel is difficult, but not despicable. "Pallavi Dīne Farhad-lā sāṅgitale nāhī kā, kī samaliṅgī māṇasāne suddhā prema miḷavāve āṇi tāṭha mānene zagāve?" Didn't Pallavi Dī tell Farhad that gay people should also find love and hold their heads high in life? "Tū phakta Pallavi Dī akāraṇa dukhāvalī zāṇāra nāhī tevaḍhe bagha, kāraṇa mājhyā çukāṃmuḷe ādhīça tine khūpa sosale āhe." You just watch that Pallavi Dī shouldn't be hurt unnecessarily, because my mistakes have already given her a lot to bear. "Malā Dī gharāta havī āhe tasā tū suddhā havā āhesa, Dādā!" The way I want Dī to come home, I want you too, Dādā! "Raghav-pāsūna Dīlā surakṣita ṭhevāyalā have, mhaṇūna samazā āpaṇa tilā gharī āṇale, āṇi tulā ghara soḍāyalā lāgale, tara mī tujhyābarobara zāīna." We have to protect Dī from Raghav, so suppose we bring her home, and you have to leave home, then I'm going with you. "Tulā ekaṭyālā kuṭhe zāū dyāyaçe nāhī, ase Bābāṃnā mī vacana dile āhe, āṇi te mī pāḷaṇāra mhaṇaje pāḷaṇāraça!" I won't let you go anywhere alone, that's the promise I gave Bābā, and I'm absolutely going to keep it!

Mandar knew that as much as Bābā wanted to know his whereabouts, Bābā would not allow Nikhil to stay with him. Nikhil was Āī's remaining hope for a daughter-in-law and grandchildren to complete her family, too precious to be corrupted by Mandar's example. Bābā might not slap Mandar as he had slapped Farhad; he might not take Mandar by the arm and throw him out in a rage, as he had thrown out Pallavi, but he would ask Mandar to leave so that Pallavi could stay.

Two months ago, Pallavi had nearly lost the will to live without their family. Would she once again think that she had no home but Kolhapur, no other escape from Raghav's infamy? What would Siddhesh Dādā say to Māmā when he found out that Mandar had deceived his sister? Mandar would be responsible for hurt feelings all around!

Only a few hours ago, expecting that Sulochana Kākū would be banished from the family, Mandar had thought of comforting Manasi and Amruta with Pallavi at his side. Manasi might be able to repair her friendship with Pallavi if Mandar stayed away, but how would Amruta behave with Pallavi if her Mandar Dādā abandoned her again? Amruta had resented Pallavi. Could Amruta, who dared to appreciate gay men, understand Mandar's shame?

Even as Nikhil was hugging him, Mandar's tears rolled again at the thought that his family would have to choose sides, and since he had wronged Pallavi, who had excelled in his place, he would spend the rest of his life isolated from them. Maybe someday Pallavi could forgive him, and Āī-Bābā would speak to him again, but if they got used to life without him ...

Two nights ago, thinking about Amma's patient who had given in to despair, Mandar had wondered if he could survive with only Farhad's support. Now, he might have to come out alone, without Farhad waiting to embrace him. Raghav had said that Farhad was only pretending to be gay to trick Mandar into coming out to Pallavi. Mandar didn't know how every tender assurance from Farhad wasn't heartfelt, how every time Farhad had moved obstacles out of his path didn't mean that Farhad cared deeply about him. Manasi had warned him not to trust Farhad blindly, but Mandar couldn't undo the effect that Farhad had on him.

Mandar knew that he should confess to Amma. She would be disappointed that he had lost Pallavi, but Amma would never turn against him. Could he go back to Vikarabad, where he would never accidentally catch sight of Pallavi, Amruta, Nikhil, Manasi, Kākā, Bābā, Āī ... or Farhad?

Nikhil's phone rang, and he pulled away from Mandar to check it. "Dādā, Pallavi Dīçā phone yetoya." Dādā, Pallavi Dī is calling. Seeing panic on Mandar's face, Nikhil reassured him, "Tulā mī nāhī sāṅgata bolāyalā." I'm not telling you to talk. "Mīça bolato, āṇi tevaḍhyāta tū cahā māgava." Only I'll talk, and meanwhile you order tea. Nikhil picked up and assured Pallavi that Mandar was not hurt in the fight with Raghav.

Mandar wiped his face and got two cups of tea. Nikhil, who hadn't left his side while telling Pallavi not to listen to Raghav, walked back with him. They sat down. Nikhil looked nervous. "Nakkīça Raghav-ne Pallavi Dīlā tujhyābaddala kāhītarī sāṅgitale āhe." For sure, Raghav has told Pallavi Dī something about you. "Paṇa tujhyākaḍūna kharī goṣṭa aikūna ghyāyalā mī tilā sāṅgitale." But I told her to listen to the true story from you. "Farhad-cyā gharī Pallavi Dī tujhī vāṭa pāhateya, Dādā." Pallavi Dī is waiting for you at Farhad's flat, Dādā.

Farhad's flat! Mandar's stomach sank at the idea of talking to Pallavi in a place where Farhad would occupy his mind. What had Pallavi heard about his behaviour with Farhad from Raghav ... or had Farhad spoken to her too? Would Farhad be there when Mandar had to answer to Pallavi for his infidelity? Mandar took a gulp of tea.

"Farhad-lā tujhī aḍaçaṇa sāṅgūyā kā, Dādā?" Should we tell Farhad about your difficulty, Dādā?

Nikhil's question startled Mandar. "Nako!" No! he exclaimed. Nikhil didn't know how complicated the situation was with Farhad. Of course, Mandar wanted to hear Farhad's enchanting confident voice again telling him that his family would accept him, but what would he do if, as the memory of Raghav's hateful voice echoed, Farhad was just deceiving him? Mandar was wholly at fault for deceiving Pallavi, he wretchedly knew, and until he owned up to that, he had no right to feel either consoled or heartbroken by Farhad.

Nikhil felt confused. He sipped his tea. When Mandar didn't speak, Nikhil tried again. "Kā nāhī?" Why not? "Mitra mhaṇūna Farhad tuzhā āṇi Pallavi Dīçā doghāṃçā ādhāra banū śakato." As a friend, Farhad can be a support to both you and Pallavi Dī. "Āṇi Farhad svataḥ samaliṅgī asalyāmuḷe to Raghav-lā āvarū śakato āṇi tyālā paṭavū śakato kī samaliṅgī asaṇyāta tuzhā kāhīça doṣa nāhī." And since Farhad himself is gay, he can restrain Raghav and convince him that being gay is not your fault at all.

Mandar tried to explain without revealing his infidelity. He should only tell Pallavi about that, and hope that Raghav was sincere about protecting her from embarrassment. "Farhad-lā sāṅgāyacī kāhī garaza nāhī, tyālā māhīta āhe kī mī samaliṅgī āhe." There's no need to tell Farhad; he knows that I'm gay. "Pallavi-pāsūna satya lapavaṇaṃ barobara nāhī, ase toça malā samazāvāyaçā prayatna karata hotā." He was the one trying to persuade me that hiding the truth from Pallavi isn't right. "Ādhī Pallavi-cī māphī māgitalyāvara maga mī Farhad-lā kāya sāṅgāyaçe asela te sāṅgato." First I'll beg pardon of Pallavi, and then I'll tell Farhad whatever there is to tell. "Paṇa yāpuḍhe zara Farhad-ne mājhī madata kelī tara Raghav tyācyāvara ciḍela." But if Farhad helps me after this, Raghav will be mad at him, Mandar finished weakly.

Nikhil's face showed disappointment, but he let it go. "Cahā zhālā asela tara āpaṇa Pallavi Dīlā bheṭāyalā zāyaçaṃ kā?" If you're done with the tea, shall we go to meet Pallavi Dī?

"Ho." Yes. Mandar knew that Pallavi must have been hurt by whatever Raghav had said to her already. It was time to answer for that. Mandar decided that he wouldn't even call Amma first, although he missed her moral support and her authoritative but gentle voice.

As they returned their teacups and walked to the lineup of rickshaws, Nikhil turned to Mandar and said, "Dādā, tūça āmāçā captain āhesa, he tulā māhīta āhe nā?" Dādā, only you are our captain, you know that, right? "Manasi Dī, Amruta āṇi mī lahānapaṇī anekadā haralo kiṃvā çukalo, paṇa āmhī nehamī svataḥlā sāṃvaralaṃ, kāraṇa tū āmhālā ekatra dharalaṃsa, āṇi tuzhā āmacyāvaraçā viśvāsa kadhīça ḑhaļalā nāhī." As children, Manasi Dī, Amruta and I failed or erred many times, but we always corrected ourselves because you held us together, and your belief in us never wavered. "Āī-Bābāṃnī māzhe jitake aparādha paçavale, tyānantara tuzhe samaliṅgī astitva tyāṃnā zaḍa zāṇāra nāhī." After Āī-Bābā digested so many of my offenses, your homosexual identity won't weigh on them. "Tū viṣamaliṅgī nasaśīla, asā vicārahī mājhyā manāta ālā navhatā, paṇa tujhyā Ammaṃnā tuzhe parivartana ghaḍavatā yeta nāhī tara kāhī harakata nāhī." I never even thought of the possibility that you might not be heterosexual, but if your Amma can't convert you, it doesn't matter at all.

Mandar hugged Nikhil, and both of them blinked back tears as Nikhil continued.

"Mī Raghav-sāṭhī hiryāñcyā taskarīçe kāma kelaṃ āṇi turuṅgāta gelo, he aikūna suddhā tū mājhyāvara ciḍalā nāhīsa." Even when you heard that I did diamond-smuggling work for Raghav and went to jail, you didn't get mad at me. "Pallavi Dīlā uçalūna neṇāre loka mājhyāça online zugārāçe karza pheḍaṇyāsāṭhī dabāva āṇata hote, he mī Āī-Bābāṃnā sāṅgāve aśī Pallavi Dīcī āṇi tujhī apekṣā āhe, tara mājhī himmata vāḍhavāyalā tumhī doghāṃnī mājhyābarobara yāyalā have." You and Pallavi Dī expect me to tell Āī-Bābā that the people who kidnapped Pallavi Dī were leaning on me to pay off the debt for my own online gambling; then to build up my courage, both of you have to come with me. "Āī-Bābāṃçā ādarśa mulagā tūça āhesa, Dādā, āṇi tujhyāśivāya tyāñcyā hyā nālāyaka mulāçaṃ kāhī kharaṃ nāhī." Only you are Āī-Bābā's exemplary son, Dādā, and without you, this unworthy son of theirs has no chance.

They got into a rickshaw, and Mandar gave the driver directions to Farhad's flat. Mandar remembered that Farhad had called him a brave man, and now Nikhil was calling him exemplary. He should be brave and face whatever punishment was waiting for him.

Had Farhad really tricked him for Raghav's sake? Mandar didn't want to believe it. He might be a fool to trust the man who had manipulated and trapped Amruta, as well as Dr. Janaki, Ved Pillai, and Vipul Kadam, but his brain wasn't ready to admit that it was all a lie. Farhad had been sweet to him, Farhad had made him feel desirable, and Mandar's heart clung to that validation.

Well, Farhad Nawaz, Mandar thought, whether the way you looked at me was sincere or not, you challenged me to admit the truth to Pallavi. That is what I have to do. If Raghav is right, if you only wanted to expose me to shame me, I'll prove to you that I can admit when I'm wrong and take my punishment. And if you really were waiting for me, I don't deserve you and I can't be proud of what I am, but you deserve to see me doing the right thing.

As the rickshaw jolted its way through the rush hour traffic, Mandar felt impatient to reach Pallavi before he lost courage. Raghav could reveal his secret to the world at any time. Worse, now that everyone was talking about the video, Raghav could threaten Pallavi to return to their marriage and pretend to be happy, or he would testify against her for bigamy. Mandar took deep breaths, trying not to panic. Pallavi was sure that Raghav was remorseful; he wouldn't try to force her into marriage again. Bāppā, Mandar prayed, give Raghav the good sense to leave Pallavi alone.

Meanwhile, Raghav was walking Damayanti, with Pallavi's words resounding in his mind. "Your face shows plainly, you had no idea, Raghav, but this is the truth. Farhad is gay. You have no right to call him indecent for desiring men. You met some bad men who abuse sex workers and cheat their wives, but they don't represent all gay men, any more than they represent all straight men. I told Farhad that you would understand him and support him like a real brother. I thought you too would want Farhad to live a good life with a loving family. I was naïve. Farhad must have tried to come out to you, and you took his words as a suggestion to ruin Mandar's life with a dirty story, just like mine."

As soon as she had spoken, Pallavi had walked out, and Amma had intercepted Raghav before he could recover from the shock and follow Pallavi to clear up their misunderstanding. Raghav had only glared at Amma before leaving the mansion with Damayanti; he was in no mood to let Amma admonish him for not being forthcoming with Pallavi about his sexual history.

Farhad lied to me! Raghav fumed. Farhad is a homo. Does he really want that cheater Mandar to kiss him? I should find Mandar and beat him up. No, not while Pallavi cares more about his brain injury than my HIV. What do I have left to lose? I couldn't keep that CCTV recording out of the news, and I can't protect Pallavi from Mandar because she won't hear a word against him. Does she love him? I need to be drunk.

"Damayanti, let's go to Pooswami Old Age Home." Raghav didn't know if he could step out of his real life and be Ramaswami today. The thought of Farhad being gay, a lonely, broken man like Pooswami Sir, made Raghav want to cry.

"Who will console you when you've lost your only friend, Raghav Rao?"

Raghav realized that Luṅgīvālā Raghav was walking next to him. "No one," he admitted. "Pallavi is gone. Amma betrayed my secret. And Farhad - he was never honest with me. I have no one left. Only whisky."

Damayanti thumped Raghav's leg with her tail, reminding him that it wasn't true without even breaking her stride. He reached down to stroke her head.

"Mandar accepted you and your secret. Didn't he?" Luṅgīvālā Raghav pointed out the piece of the puzzle that just didn't fit.

"Mandar is a fraud! He's like that Anjali! He never gave Pallavi even one day of happiness, but she was faithful to him. Even now, she believes in him, while he's chasing Farhad!" Raghav spat out the words.

Damayanti looked up, as if to ask, what's wrong with chasing?

"You've seen women chasing Farhad. After you had your pick of them at nightclubs, some of them tried their luck with him. He never even danced with one," Luṅgīvālā Raghav observed.

"His job is to stay with me!" Raghav retorted, and saw Luṅgīvālā Raghav rolling his eyes. "All right! I could have paid attention to the clues, but I assumed that Farhad was waiting for his parents to arrange his marriage with a nice Muslim girl, so he made his job an excuse not to flirt. Farhad hid who he really was, just like Mandar!"

"Farhad doesn't date women. Farhad doesn't drink. You knew that much about him, just as Farhad knew that you talked to prostitutes more kindly than to your dates. That's why he played that joke on you in Thailand, and you tried to rescue a legitimate masseuse." Luṅgīvālā Raghav paused, and Raghav thought it was a strange coincidence that Damayanti snorted just then. "You and Farhad are very different men, and still, you called him your friend."

"Farhad being a homo is different!" Raghav insisted. "Farhad lied to me! I asked him what he found out about Mandar, and he said there was nothing wrong. I pay Farhad to be loyal to me, and he chose Mandar!"

"If you only expected Farhad's loyalty because you paid for it, Raghav Rao, you can replace him easily. Are you ready to change your will then?"

"I thought Farhad was loyal because he believed in me!" Raghav snapped, as he thought about Luṅgīvālā Raghav's question. His will left everything to Farhad, the only other person capable of running Jayati Jewels. "Who else is there? Celli? She could learn the business, if she didn't hate it even more than Amma does. I can't imagine Sunspot taking charge. And Pallavi - you heard her - doesn't want what isn't hers, anything that I want to give her. Farhad was supposed to take care of Amma if I couldn't do it."

"If Tammi had lived, you would have trained him to run Jayati Jewels, and trusted Farhad to look after him," Luṅgīvālā Raghav said softly.

Raghav stood still, and tears flowed from his eyes because so much had changed since he had contemplated his toy train for Arjun in the morning. He did not want to think about Farhad influencing Arjun, now that Farhad was ... Farhad had always been a homo. Why couldn't Farhad be unspoiled, as Raghav had believed him to be? The ache for Arjun's lost life was flaring up in Raghav's heart for Farhad now. Why couldn't Farhad have marriage, love, and children - everything that Raghav himself didn't deserve?

Raghav recalled Pallavi saying that she had expected him to understand Farhad and support him like a real brother. He asked himself, how would I have reacted if my Tammi had grown up to like boys?

Damayanti rubbed against Raghav's legs to encourage him.

Raghav thought back to Amma disowning him, the day she had found out about what he sold to men. How unlovable, impure, and unworthy he had felt for nine lonely years! He had only survived thanks to Pooswami Sir and Farhad. Raghav knew, without a doubt, that he could never have rejected his Tammi. Nothing that Arjun might have done to disappoint his Anna when he grew up mattered as much as the chance to grow up. And Raghav knew that he could not reject Farhad either.

"Pallavi said that Farhad kept quiet about being gay because I'm prejudiced," Raghav complained, squatting to face Damayanti. "I'm not prejudiced, just experienced! When I brought that boyfriend case to the hospital, I didn't care that he was gay. I saw that he was being abused because he was poor and desperate. That's why I made an example of his client. I didn't hit Mandar because he's gay. I hit him for betraying Pallavi, and because I thought he made Farhad feel gross."

Damayanti responded by licking Raghav's face, and it occurred to him that face-licking wasn't gross only if a man was lucky enough to love a dog.

Luṅgīvālā Raghav cleared his throat. "Have you thought, why did Pallavi tell you Farhad's truth, knowing that he hadn't told you himself?"

"How would I know?" Raghav snapped. "Maybe she expects me to fire Farhad because he lied to me. I stupidly lose my only friend and she keeps him! Maybe she thinks I don't deserve him."

"Come on, Raghav Rao," Luṅgīvālā Raghav shook his head. "One thing you know about Pallavi is that she wants you to feel loved. That's why she reunited you with Amma, and why she told you to get a dog. She said, she expected you to behave like a real brother to Farhad, right? Another thing you know is that Pallavi likes challenges. So, obviously, this is her challenge to you. Prove that you're not prejudiced."

"Well, I'm not! She heard me warning her how those men are, and she misunderstood me! How am I supposed to prove it?" Raghav, still squatting, looked up at his alter ego.

"Listen."

"I'm listening. What's your idea?"

"My idea is to listen, binā sāmbāra kā iḍalī!" Luṅgīvālā Raghav said. "The way to prove that you're not prejudiced against Farhad's identity is to listen to him. Whether he was trying to expose Mandar to Pallavi or he wants Mandar for himself, let Farhad tell you. Let him know that you're his friend always, even if you hate cheaters. Pallavi will notice that Farhad feels affirmed by you. Then, if she tells you how she feels about Mandar's betrayal, or about you and your secrets, listen to her."

"You're right! I'll prove to Farhad that I'm not prejudiced, and I'll win Pallavi's challenge. Pallavi just needs to hear from Farhad that I'm not making it up. Mandar is gay, and he's a cheater. Pallavi has to leave him. Maybe ... she'll want Raghav Rao to handle him for her!"

Raghav stood up, pulled out his phone, and sent Farhad a text to meet him at the mansion immediately.

"Let's go home, Damayanti," Raghav said. "You've had a good long walk today, so we'll visit Pooswami Old Age Home another day. To keep your diabetes under control, your daily exercise needs to be consistent, just like your meals and insulin, remember?"

As they walked back, Luṅgīvālā Raghav turned to Raghav and said, "You're going to ache for a day or two. You didn't expect Mandar to beat you up like that."

"I also didn't expect him to cheat on Pallavi!" Raghav shot back. "Not with that Suhasini Joshi, never mind with men! When we were bringing Mandar home from Vikarabad, he acted so excited to remember his wedding. Without clearing Celli of vehicular homicide, I couldn't drive Mandar out of Hyderabad like anyone else who tried to compete with Raghav Rao. Then Mandar forgave Celli and saved Damayanti from my mistake, and Pallavi told me that she chose him. He was so unbelievably perfect, I needed him to admit that I'm not all bad."

"Since when do you care if anyone thinks you're all bad?" Luṅgīvālā Raghav questioned.

"I shouldn't, right? It makes life so much more complicated. Like loving Pallavi. I can't get carried away with her. I want her to feel safe with me. I feel ashamed when she's ashamed of me. Well, it was in Mandar's name that Pallavi gave me a chance. So, it bothered me that Mandar ignored me and asked Farhad for everything that he needed. And then, when Mandar figured out that I have HIV, and I was panicking, he reassured me. He actually said he was sorry that Cipakū Laḍakī used her abortion to implicate me with Pallavi, and he thanked me for getting Sanakī Buḍḍhā out of jail. After everything I did that hurt his family and Pallavi, he cared about me. I started talking to him, even about my feelings for Pallavi."

"Raghav Rao, did you want Mandar to be your friend?"

"Nēnu piccivāḍinā?" Am I crazy? Raghav retorted. "How could I be friends with Pallavi's husband? Our lives are connected, that's all. I took him to the hospital to save his life, and he brought me blood to save mine. So, maybe I wanted Pallavi's hero Mandar to accept me as a hero too. I thought, if Sunspot could go to prison for leaving Mandar to die, without Celli suffering, I would want that justice for Mandar. And now I know he's not a hero after all. He's a cheater."

"Do you remember the first time you saw me, Raghav Rao?" Luṅgīvālā Raghav wanted to know.

"Yes. It was right after I told Pallavi's family that Baḍā Bindī was the one who had sent Amma and Celli to jail, so they needed to forget my lies about Pallavi and apologize to her. And that bunch of egoistic people told me to get out."

"You felt frustrated because Vijay Deshmukh was stuck resenting Pallavi, who was always working hard to make him proud. You knew that it was your fault. You had manipulated him, letting him believe that you exploited women like Pallavi. You needed to feel honourable, and so you imagined me."

"I admitted my mistake to that Rambo bāpa of Pallavi's, but he wasn't willing to admit his mistake and believe in her again." Recalling how the old man had rebuffed his overtures, time after time, Raghav no longer felt bitter. It was finally in the past. "You know, I thought he was hopeless. He almost signed his house over to Baḍā Bindī because he wasn't wearing his eyeglasses, and instead of asking why I ripped up the papers, he hit me. I got him out of jail, and he insisted that I was the one who had put him there. He imagined that I'm some Rākṣasa who killed Mandar and paid Sunspot to confess. But the buḍḍhā finally apologized to Pallavi, and he didn't order her to leave me for Mandar. So, he must appreciate what I've done for him."

"Or, he wanted to say sorry to Pallavi so badly that hating you wasn't important anymore," Luṅgīvālā Raghav countered. "You helped him to see that Pallavi loves him, but at the Satya-Nārāyaṇa pūjā, Vijay Deshmukh showed you that he still doesn't see any good in you."

"Why can't you let me be proud of myself?" Raghav demanded, exasperated.

"Of course, you can be proud, Raghav Rao. You're trying, and you're getting results. Milind Kākā knew right away that you were sincere. Sharada Āī gave you a chance. Even Nikhil tolerated you, and Mandar was sympathetic to you, until today. But if you want Vijay Deshmukh to believe in you, and Pallavi to love you, you have to be very patient."

"Losers have patience. Winners have results!" Raghav declared. "If there's a shortcut to convince Pallavi to forgive me and come back to me, I'll find it and I won't hesitate to take it."

Luṅgīvālā Raghav sighed. "You didn't get results from Bharatanatyam right away, but you had patience. Do you know, in the old days, I used to speak to you without you seeing me? Until the day you made me be quiet. That was the day you decided that stealing from people who couldn't fight back was worth it if you could become rich like Krishna Rao."

Raghav's face flushed, remembering that fatal miscalculation. "If I had anticipated that the villagers would fight back, that they would hurt Nānna and Tammi, I would have made sure that I had cash on hand to satisfy them. I wouldn't have put the hush money from Krishna Rao in the bank, and assumed that I had time to graduate from college and find full-time work. I would have forged Krishna Rao's signature at the bank, broken into his house, or held a gun to his head, but I would have recovered the rest of the money that that Rākṣasa embezzled, and thrown it in the villagers' faces."

Damayanti stopped in her tracks, and growled each time Raghav named Krishna Rao. Raghav scooped her up in his arms.

"You've had ten years to reimagine yourself as a powerful man in that situation," Luṅgīvālā Raghav said sympathetically, "but you were only a boy who hadn't known life without his honour or his parents' love. You made a choice when Krishna Rao admitted to you that he was embezzling. You refused to stand by other poor people who were trying to afford a better life through the chit fund, and you stood by Krishna Rao because only your own family's needs mattered. That day, you became deaf to my voice, and you didn't hear me again until you wanted to restore Pallavi's honour and her parents' love."

"It was Prasaha's fault that I didn't care about anyone else's problems that day," Raghav argued. "You know, after paying for Nānna's lung treatment and Amma's dance academy from my commission, I used the rest of it to buy a simple diamond ring for Prasaha. I told her, I know you're already twenty-one and I'm only seventeen, but I love you and I want to marry you. I promise, by the time I'm legally old enough to marry, in four years, I will have an awesome job, my family won't be poor anymore, and you'll be proud of me. Will you be my girlfriend? And Prasaha told me that her plans didn't include time for dating; she was close to graduation from law college, and her ambition was to do something grand for India. She broke my heart, and then she told me that she couldn't find the registration of Krishna Rao's chit fund, and she suspected that the money was in his own bank account."

Luṅgīvālā Raghav had tears in his eyes, remembering his first love. "Prasaha always looked out for you. She told you, you should have invested in your own future, not a diamond ring to impress her. 'Diamonds have no intrinsic value, and false scarcity makes them overpriced. There are so many better uses for money!' Those were her words. You still remember them when you review the sales revenue at Jayati Jewels, and you smile at what customers are willing to pay. Your generosity is inspired by the way Prasaha treated everyone. Even when you were ignoring me, in the years before Pallavi when nobody's opinion of you mattered to you, you found ways to help everyone around you because Prasaha would have done the same."

"Speak for yourself," Raghav replied coldly. "I hate Prasaha, and I always will. Everything that went wrong was her fault. When I was looking for a way to support my family, Prasaha gave my name to Krishna Rao, and he asked me to collect the monthly contributions to his new chit fund. If Prasaha hadn't told me what she suspected, I wouldn't have gone to confront Krishna Rao, I wouldn't have taken the hush money, and Amma wouldn't have held me responsible for killing Nānna and Tammi. Why did Prasaha have to alert the villagers that Krishna Rao had sold his property? They couldn't find him, and so they came for me. Prasaha's principles cost me my family."

Every time Raghav mentioned Krishna Rao, Damayanti growled and growled in his arms. Raghav was crying, with Damayanti's nose pressed to his wet cheek.

Chapter One on page 1

Chapter Two on page 2

Chapter Three on page 2

Chapter Four on page 3

Chapter Five on page 4

Chapter Six on page 4

Chapter Seven on page 5

Chapter Eight on page 5

Chapter Nine on page 7

Chapter Ten on page 7

Chapter Eleven on page 8

Chapter Twelve on page 8

Chapter Thirteen on page 8

Chapter Fourteen on page 9

Chapter Fifteen on page 10

Chapter Sixteen on page 10

Chapter Seventeen on page 11

Chapter Eighteen on page 11

Chapter Nineteen on page 11

Chapter Twenty on page 11

Chapter Twenty-One on page 11

Chapter Twenty-Two on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Three on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Four on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Five on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Six on page 13

Chapter Twenty-Seven on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Eight on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Nine on page 14

Chapter Thirty on page 14

Chapter Thirty-One on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Two on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Three on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Five on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Six on page 15

Nitish Bhaluni is the actor who played teenage Raghav on the show.

https://www.indiaforums.com/article/meet-the-new-tapu-in-taarak-mehta-nitish-bhaluni_194115

A behind-the-scenes photo from the day the first episode aired shows that Nitish Bhaluni and the child actor who played Arjun were both on set that day, and Nitish Bhaluni was wearing an undershirt and cuts-and-scrapes makeup, presumably for a scene that never aired. As far as I remember, teenage Raghav wore a T-shirt in all flashbacks, and he never had cuts or scrapes, although he was seen lying on his stomach while someone beat his back with a stick.

It took me several months to write Chapter Thirty-Five because the Pallavi-Mandar and Raghav-Farhad conversations had to touch upon so many details of the plot that would be on their minds. My task was to cover every aspect of the situation as it would naturally occur to the character's mind, following the character's priorities, without overwhelming the reader with already well-known information and without losing focus on the characters' feelings. I kept double-checking what each character imagines the other character knows about each secret.

I know that this story has many silent readers, as well as those who give reactions. (Thank you, pareshif, for clicking LOVED on this chapter in the FF section!) A chapter like this one is where readers' comments may be particularly helpful, so go ahead and tell me:

1. Did you find the characters' feelings relatable, even though their life experiences are extraordinary? Or, what could have been improved about the dialogues and narration?

2. Did I miss any details that the characters should have mentioned in their conversations? Or, did the characters bring up any stuff that wasn't relevant to what should be on their minds right now?

3. Are the characters behaving as you would expect them to behave, given their experiences in the story so far? Are there any departures from what you watched on Mehandī Hai Racanevālī before Mandar arrived?

4. Does Farhad have a reasonable motive for not coming out to Raghav before?

5. Are Raghav's attitudes and behaviours (e.g. homophobia, alcohol abuse, gratitude to Mandar, resentment of Vijay) changing through a believable progression of character growth, or too abruptly?

Whenever I try to continue Chapter Thirty-Five, I find myself rewriting what I've already written.

Edited to add: finally done - see below! I would like feedback on the questions posted above - either here or in this chapter in the FF section.

Chapter Thirty-Five

When Pallavi arrived at Farhad's flat, she found Rehana and Gulshan sitting in the living room, hand-in-hand.

"Ammī, Abbū, you came home early today! Has something happened?"

"Is that something to ask, beṭī?" Ammī exclaimed, springing to her feet. "That killer, that Vedant Pillai, shot his gun at my Farhad! Of course, I cancelled my music lessons and called Farhad's Abbū to leave work early. We need to see that our boy comes home safely! Until you become a mother yourself, you will not understand."

Gulshan got up and put his hand on her shoulder, but Rehana's voice was not much steadier as she continued. "Beṭī, while you and Farhad went on with your meetings for the day, everyone in Hyderabad was watching the news. Strangers in that restaurant recorded videos of your Mandar fighting to save Farhad's life, and neither of you kids thought we should know? When Sharada jī found out, even though she was busy at the shop, she called me, right after she spoke to you and Mandar. Whatever you were doing, Pallavi, were you too busy to call me?"

My old habit of hiding trauma from my elders is hard to break, Pallavi reflected. I'm not on my own anymore. Mandar is here to shoulder my burdens and listen to my worries. We face danger together. When I feel hunted, Mandar's arms keep me safe. His smile reassures me. Why not allow Dādā-Vahinī, Āī-Bābā and Kākā, or Ammī-Abbū to comfort me? They wouldn't interfere in my decisions - mine and Mandar's. Anyway, amidst so many life-altering surprises these past few days, I need to make time to run my business! Tonight, I have to look through the designs in my tablet and select a few to show Mrs. Mehra, but first ...

"Beṭī, you have been crying!" Abbū remarked, stepping forward, quickly followed by Ammī, who hugged Pallavi. "Were you hurt?"

"No, Abbū. The gun had fake bullets. No one was hurt. The police took Vedant away, and I stayed at the restaurant to talk to a new customer. I went back to the shop, where Āī was helping Nikhil and Krishna, but before I could tell them what had happened, Anuradha Aunty called to say that she saw the fight on ZOR News. Then Mandar brought me some money that I owed Raghav's Amma, so I went to give it back to her - right after a meeting with Subhadra jī. Ammī, you tried to reach me while I was speaking to Subhadra jī, but I didn't remember your missed call until I was almost here. Raghav ..." Pallavi paused, trying to keep her voice steady and not let on that her tears were for Raghav's hypocritical lies about Mandar and herself. "Raghav found me at his house. He told me ... that he got into a fight with Mandar."

"My poor child. Of course you cried," Ammī murmured, hugging Pallavi the whole time. "I didn't mean to scold you. You really had no time to remember me. But Farhad ... First, because Sharada jī had told me that he was driving when she spoke to Mandar, I only texted him: 'Come straight home.' My son kept me waiting for an hour, and then he texted me back: 'I'm fine. Can't come home yet. I'm onto something exciting.' I left him a voice message: 'Don't take risks.' And he texted me back: 'Don't worry, I'm just at the police station!' Tell me, Pallavi, after handing over that killer to the police, why does Farhad need more of that excitement?"

At that, Pallavi's phone alerted her to a text message. Farhad had listened to her voice message and accepted her apology. Pallavi sighed with relief.

"Ammī-Abbū, when I was speaking to Raghav, I told him that Farhad is gay. Farhad wanted Raghav to know, but he never found the right words or the right time. I may have chosen the worst time and the worst words, but Raghav was saying some very unfair things about gay men, and I thought, if anything can open his mind, it will be knowing that his attitude could hurt Farhad."

"You spoke up for Farhad's good, we know that," Abbū averred. "If Raghav Rao doesn't want our son working for him after this, Allāh Miyā will provide something better for Farhad."

"Yā Allāh, please protect Farhad," Ammī prayed. "Farhad loves that man like a brother, so let him not disappoint Farhad. However, if Raghav Rao is unable to appreciate the only friend he has, give Farhad the strength to walk away without regrets."

"I told Farhad that I outed him to Raghav, and he said I shouldn't worry about it." Pallavi tried to reassure Ammī and Abbū. "Raghav knows that Farhad handles every responsibility capably, and he is loyal to Raghav."

Mandar and Nikhil appeared at the door. Pallavi, Ammī, and Abbū all immediately noticed that Mandar looked nervous.

"Ammī-Abbū, this is Mandar's brother Nikhil. I need to speak with Mandar privately. Please excuse us," Pallavi said in a hurry.

"Of course, you can talk in Farhad's room," Abbū replied. "Nikhil, come, sit with us. Tell us, is your video about the trip to Vikarabad ready yet?"

As soon as Pallavi and Mandar had shut the door to Farhad's room, Ammī's phone rang. It was Farhad.

"Ammī, I'm going to meet Raghav Anna now. I don't know how late I will get home, but please don't worry. I know how to take care of myself."

"Farhad, Pallavi has already come home, and Mandar is here with Nikhil. Your Raghav Rao got into a fight with Mandar. Come home right away," Ammī insisted.

"A fight, Ammī! Tell me, Mandar isn't hurt?"

"He looks upset, that's all. So does Pallavi. Your Abbū and I need to see you, Farhad. Tell that man to wait until tomorrow."

"I want to see Mandar, Ammī," Farhad said agitatedly, thinking, I have to explain to Raghav Anna why I let him believe an illusion for all these years, but Mandar Raja is hurting ...

"Ammī jī, excuse me, could I talk to Farhad, please?" Nikhil ventured. Rehana saw the resolute look in the teenager's eyes, and handed over her phone.

"Farhad ... this is Nikhil. ... Mandar Dādā told me ... what Raghav found out about him. ... Please don't let Raghav throw Dādā in jail or kidnap him. We can't lose Dādā again. ... Pallavi Dī wants to be free of Raghav. If you care about her, don't let him hurt Dādā."

"Nikhil, I care about Mandar too!" Farhad forgot himself as the news sank in. Raghav Anna knows that Mandar is gay! Yā Allāh, inspire me to protect Mandar from Anna's fury! Has Mandar told Bhābhī his truth? What will Anna do to Mandar if I don't meet Anna right away?

"Thanks, Farhad. Could you come home and talk to Dādā? I tried to tell him that his life will be all right, but you're his friend, and you can convince him."

"Tell Mandar not to worry, Nikhil. Life will get better from now on, believe me. I will come home soon, but for Mandar's sake, I have to see Raghav Anna right away. Meanwhile, Mandar and Pallavi jī can tell my Ammī-Abbū anything. They will understand."

"Thank you, Farhad." Nikhil returned Ammī's phone.

"Ammī, please do this for me," Farhad began. "Mandar is gay, and he needs to tell Pallavi jī. Raghav Anna found out, and about me too. That's why I have to meet Anna right away, but you and Abbū look after Pallavi jī and Mandar for me."

"Of course we will comfort both of them, Farhad. And no matter what that man says to you, remember that you are a good man." Rehana ended the call, and took Gulshan's hand in hers as she told him what they had to do.

Meanwhile, in Farhad's room, Pallavi had pulled Mandar into her embrace. "Tumhālā Raghav-ne phāra māralaṃ nāhī nā?" Raghav didn't hit you too badly? she asked.

"Nāhī." No. Mandar, surprised to feel the warmth of Pallavi's body against his, wondered how she could cling to him like this if Raghav had exposed his secret. How exactly would Raghav retaliate for the thrashing Mandar had given him? Mandar imagined Pallavi's touch turning cold as his words would drain away her belief in him. He thought of Farhad smiling at him, encouraging him, and plunged into his confession.

"Pallavi, aika, malā kadhīça tulā phasavāyaçaṃ navhataṃ, paṇa mī samaliṅgī āhe." Pallavi, listen, I never wanted to cheat you, but I am homosexual.

Pallavi tried not to hear Mandar telling her what she had assured herself was a lie by Raghav. If she didn't speak or move, if she held on to Mandar, she might not lose him again!

"Agadī lahāna vayāpāsūna malā zāṇavata hote kī malā puruṣāṃsāṭhī kāhī adhikaça vāṭate." From a very young age, I was aware that I felt something extra for men. "Tujhyāsāṭhī taseça vāṭāve aśī āpale lagna ṭharata asatānā mājhī manāpāsūna icchā hotī." When our marriage was being fixed, I sincerely wished that I would feel just that way for you. "Ved Pillai-ne māzhe gupita oḷakhale hote, āṇi lagnācyā rātrī tyāne gharī phone karūna malā dhamakī dilī kī mī tyālā pannāsa hazāracī rakkama āṇūna dilī nāhī tara to māzhā doṣa tulā sāṅgūna ṭākaṇāra." Ved Pillai had guessed my secret, and on the wedding night, he called me at home with the threat that if I didn't bring him Rs. 50,000, he would tell you my defect. "Ved-lā police-āñcyā tābyāta deūna maga mī saṃsārālā samartha asalyāçe tulā paṭavāyaçe, ase ṭharavūna mī tulā kāhī na sāṅgatā gharātūna bāhera paḍalo, āṇi apaghāta ghaḍalā." I decided to get Ved into police custody and then convince you that I was capable for married life, so, without telling you anything, I set out from the house, and the accident happened. "Mājhī smṛti naṣṭa zhālyāvarahī Pallavi he nāṃva mājhyā āṭhavaṇīta urale hyāçe kāraṇa asela tujhyāsāṭhī viṣamaliṅgī banaṇyāçā māzhā niścaya." Even after losing my memories, the reason that the name Pallavi remained in my memory may have been my determination to become heterosexual for you.

As Mandar's words swirled through her ears, Pallavi had a realization. "Tyā rātrī phone tumhī nāhī, Bābāṃnī ghetalā hotā!" That night, Bābā had received the phone call, not you! "Tumhī samaliṅgī asalyāçe tyāṃnā māhīta asūna te malā kāhīça bolale nāhī?" Although he knew that you were gay, he said nothing at all to me? "Malā dukānātale kāma śikavatānā Bābāṃnī malā tumacyā asaṃkhya goṣṭī sāṅgitalyā, paṇa he nāhī." When he was training me to work at the shop, Bābā told me countless stories about you, but not this. "Pallavi mājhī mulagī nāhī, mulagāça āhe, māzhā Mandar-aça āhe, ase kitīdā tyāñcyā toṇḍūna aikale!" Pallavi isn't my daughter, she's my son only, she's my Mandar only - how many times I heard this from him!

Mandar felt Pallavi trembling against his chest. Just like yesterday, his lips found the top of her head and pressed, trying to comfort her. "MBA-sāṭhī śikata asatānā ekadā ekā aśyā saṃsthetalī māhitī ghetalyāçe mī Bābāṃsamora kabūla kele." When I was studying for my MBA, once I admitted to Bābā that I got information from one such organization. "Paṇa samaliṅgī sahavāsāsāṭhī mī pāūla uçalale nāhī āṇi mī lagnālā hokāra dilā mhaṇaje maga Bābāṃçā gairasamaza zhālā kī ātā kuṇīhī malā samaliṅgī mhaṇū śakaṇāra nāhī." But since I didn't take a step to find homosexual companionship and I assented to marriage, Bābā then got the wrong idea that now no one could call me homosexual. "Amma samaliṅgī lokāṃçe parivartana ghaḍavate he kaḷalyāvara mī ticī madata māgitalī āṇi kharaṃça manāpāsūna prayatna kelā, Pallavi." When I found out that Amma converts homosexual people, I asked for her help and I truly made a sincere effort, Pallavi. "Tulā punhā bheṭalyāvara malā vāṭale kī Bāppāneça prasanna hoūna malā māzhā mārga dākhavalā." When I met you again, I thought that Bāppā Himself was pleased and showing me my way.

Pallavi's own hurt and loneliness poured out in response to Mandar's words. "Mandar, gelyā cāra divasāṃta āpalyāta jī zavaḷīka nirmāṇa zhālī, tī mājhyāsāṭhī sādhyā maitrīcī navhatī." Mandar, the closeness that developed between us in these past four days wasn't like ordinary friendship for me. "Tumhī gelyānantara mī raḍāyaçe te āpalyā kholīta ekaṭī asatānāça, āṇi gharābāhera kuṭhalīhī aḍaçaṇa ālī tarī mī gharī tī kaḷū deta nase." While you were gone, I used to cry only in our room when I was alone, and whatever difficulty came my way outside the house, I wouldn't let our family know about it. "Tumhālā gharī āṇalyāpāsūna tumacyā samora mī raḍū śakale, āṇi mājhyā manālā vāṭaṇārā sagaḷāça saṃtāpa tumhālā sāṅgū śakale." Since bringing you home, I was able to cry in front of you, and I was able to tell you all of the indignation that I felt. "Kāla āṇi āza tyā dvivivāhācyā bātamyā ālyāmuḷe āṇi Raghav ..." Yesterday and today, when that bigamy made the news and Raghav ... Pallavi halted, unwilling to put Raghav's shame into ugly words. Raghav had guessed that Mandar had told her about it, so Mandar must have discovered it somehow, but he had kept quiet. "Raghav-çe gupita kaḷalyāmuḷe malā narakayātanā hota hotyā, paṇa tyātahī tumacyākaḍe pāhūna mī mājhyā punarjanmācī vāṭa pāhata rāhile." When I learned Raghav's secret, I felt agony like hell, but even in the midst of that I gazed at you and kept waiting for my rebirth.

Mandar knew that every word that Pallavi spoke was true. Pallavi had opened up to him, assuming a wife's privilege to seek comfort from her husband, and he had allowed her to believe in him. Mandar still wanted to stand with Pallavi against Sulochana Kākū's and Raghav's cruelty, and he felt relief that Pallavi wasn't talking about throwing him out of their family.

Sensing Mandar's inertness, Pallavi pulled away and stood at arm's length from him. Willing her voice to be steady, she said, "Raghav sāṅgata hotā āṇi malā te khoṭe vāṭale, paṇa tumhī sāṅgatāya tara mī mānya karate kī tumhī samaliṅgī āhāta āṇi tumacyā manāta mājhyāsāṭhī kāhīça ākarṣaṇa nāhī." Raghav was telling me and I thought it was a lie, but you're telling me, so I accept that you're gay and you feel no attraction to me. "Tumaçe parivartana śakya nāhī, āṇi muḷāta samaliṅgī asaṇe hā kāhī doṣa nāhī." Your conversion isn't possible, and anyway, being gay isn't any defect. "Paṇa mājhyā bhāvanā kharyā asatānā tyā mī kaśī visarū?" But when my feelings are sincere, how can I forget them?

Mandar looked miserably into Pallavi's eyes. He could not be halfway honest now. "Malā Farhad āvaḍato." I like Farhad. "Amma māzhe parivartana karata asalyāçā Farhad-lā pattā lāgalā, āṇi tyāne svataḥçā svābhimāna dākhavūna malā ughaḍapaṇe zagāyalā uttejana dile." Farhad found out that Amma is converting me, and he showed me his pride in himself to encourage me to live openly.

Pallavi stared at Mandar, tears in her eyes, feeling suddenly jealous of Farhad. Mandar being gay she had to accept as a fact of his nature, but he was hers! Not Farhad's! She had trusted Farhad's friendship with Mandar to help her husband settle into their life together, and even if Farhad was right to encourage Mandar to come out instead, it hurt to think that Mandar's feelings for anyone could compare to her own feelings for Mandar.

Trying to mitigate his humiliation of Pallavi, Mandar continued. "Mī mātra dona varṣāṃpāsūna tujhyā śodhāta hoto, Pallavi, mhaṇūna tulā mī māgaṇī ghātalī āṇi tujhyā zavaḷa yeṇyāsāṭhī mana lāvale." I had been seeking you for two years, though, Pallavi, so I proposed to you and focussed on getting close to you. "Tū jyā ekaniṣṭhatene mājhī zāgā bharalīsa, Āī-Bābāṃnā ādhāra dilāsa, āpale dukāna çālavalesa, āṇi Raghav-śī laḍhalīsa, tyā ekaniṣṭhatevara malā prema vāṭate." The steadfastness with which you filled my place, supported Āī-Bābā, managed our shop, and fought with Raghav ... I love that steadfastness. "Paṇa Vikarabad-madhalī mājhī zāgā āvaraṇyāta, māzhā mṛtyudākhalā radda karaṇyāta, āṇi Sulochana Kākūcyā kaṭāçā śodha lāvaṇyāta zasā Farhad mājhyā madatīlā yeta rāhilā, tasā to mājhyā manāta bharalā." However, as Farhad kept stepping up to help me - to clear my place in Vikarabad, to get my death certificate invalidated, and to discover Sulochana Kākū's plot, he occupied my heart. "Tujhyā sahavāsāta malā prema vāṭū lāgale, āṇi Farhad samora ālyāvara utkaṭa ākarṣaṇa." In your company, I began to feel love, and when Farhad appeared in front of me, intense attraction. "Farhad āṇi mī ekaṭe ekatra asatānā māzhā svataḥvara tābā rahāta nāhī." When Farhad and I are alone together, I don't keep myself in control. "He mī Vishnu-lā sāṅgata hoto, kāraṇa parivartanāsāṭhī to māzhā mārgadarśaka āhe, āṇi teça aikūna Raghav-ne malā māra deūna sāṅgitale kī Farhad māzhe satya tujhyāsamora āṇaṇyāsāṭhī svataḥ samaliṅgī asalyāçe phakta nāṭaka karata hotā." I was telling this to Vishnu, because he's my conversion sponsor, and that's what Raghav heard, so he hit me and told me that Farhad was only pretending to be gay himself to expose my truth before you.

Pallavi tried to take comfort in Mandar's admission that he did find her lovable, and she tried not to hear his passion for Farhad. What Raghav had told Mandar about Farhad, however, made Pallavi inhale sharply, startled.

"Farhad nāṭaka karata navhatā." Farhad wasn't pretending, Pallavi said. "Raghav-lāça māhita navhate." Raghav himself didn't know. "Tumhī samaliṅgī asalyāçe kaḷalyā kṣaṇī Farhad Raghav-lā āṇi malā sāṅgū śakalā asatā, kāraṇa tyāne tase karaṇyāta Raghav-çā phāyadā hotā." The moment that Farhad found out that you're gay, he could have told Raghav and me, because Raghav's benefit lay in his doing so. "Farhad-ne tase na karatā tumacyā bhāvanā zapalyā, kāraṇa Farhad-lā tumacī sahānubhūti vāṭalī." Farhad didn't do that, and he protected your feelings, because Farhad felt sympathy for you. "Malā suddhā tumaçe svāsthya āṇi tumacī nātī zapāyacī āheta." I also want to protect your well-being and your relationships. "Tumaçe samazūna tyā pretāçe antyasaṃskāra kelyāvara mī saṃsāra karaṇyācī āśā soḍalī hotī; Raghav-lā tumacyā nāṃvāne saṃdhī dilyāvara tī āśā jāgṛta zhālī, āṇi tumhī parata ālyāvara mī tumacyā mulāñcī āī hoṇyāçe svapna baghū lāgale." After performing last rites for that corpse, believing it to be yours, I had given up hope of doing married life; that hope awoke after I gave Raghav a chance in your name, and when you came back, I began to dream of becoming the mother of your children. "Paṇa zara tumacyā bāzūne āpalyā lagnālā kāhī arthaça nasela tara mī kaśībaśī punhā mājhī ekaṭīcī vāṭa dharāyalā śikate." But if on your side our marriage doesn't even make sense, then somehow again I will learn to make my way alone.

"Mī lagnāçā artha samazūna tujhyāśī lagna kele, Pallavi!" I understood what marriage means before I married you, Pallavi! Mandar protested. Yes, he had ruined Pallavi's life, but not frivolously! "Itara zoḍapī hasata-kheḷata premāta paḍatāta, ekatra kuṭumbāta saṃsāra karatāta, āṇi mulāṃnā vāḍhavatāta, taseça malā lagna kelyāvara akkhe āyuṣya kāḍhāyaçe hote." Other couples laugh and play as they fall in love; they do married life in a joint family; and they raise children - just like them, after getting married, I wanted to spend my entire life. "Gharī parata ālyāpāsūna tujhyā miṭhīta āṇi tujhyā hasaṇyāta malā āpalyā nātyācī haravalelī suruvāta punhā ekadā sāṃpaḍalī." Since returning home, in your embrace and your laughter, I found our relationship's lost beginning once again. "Paṇa malā Farhad-sāṭhī śārīrika ākarṣaṇa vāṭate he nākāratā yeta nāhī." But there's no denying that I feel physical attraction to Farhad.

"Tase tara malāhī Raghav-lā pāhūna śārīrika ākarṣaṇa vāṭate!" Well, on that level, I too feel physical attraction when I see Raghav! Pallavi retorted. "Tyālā sahaza abrū vikaṇārī aśī cāraçaughāta mājhī oḷakha karūna tyāne malā saktīçā punarvivāha karāyalā lāvalā, āṇi tyāādhī suddhā malā balātkārācī kiṃvā maraṇācī bhīti vhāvī asā to anekadā vāgalā, paṇa to zavaḷa asatānā to dekhaṇā āṇi taruṇa asalyāçe malā zāṇavate." Publicly proclaiming me a woman who easily sold my honour to him, he forced me to remarry, and even before that, he often behaved so as to make me afraid of rape or murder, but when he's near me, I'm aware that he's handsome and youthful. "Ākarṣaka śarīra kāhī janmabhara ṭikata nāhī." An attractive body doesn't last for a lifetime. "Svabhāva zuḷalyāśivāya prema mhaṇaje phakta vāsanā asate, jī āpalyā dukānāta yeṇāryā tyā Raghav-cyā vicārāne khidaḷaṇāryā mulīṃnā zaśī vāṭalī, taśīça Raghav-çā deha vikata gheṇāryāṃnā vāṭalī." Unless personalities match, love means only lust, which was felt alike by those girls who came into our shop, giggling at the thought of Raghav, and by those who bought Raghav's body. "Jevhāṃ mī tumhālā pasanta kele tevhāṃ āpalyāta zavaḷīka, prema, āṇi śārīrika nāte nirmāṇa hotīla aśī mājhī apekṣā hotī, kāraṇa āpalī tattva zuḷatāta, paṇa āyuṣyāta kaśācīça khātrī nasate." When I accepted you, my expectation was that closeness, love, and a physical relationship would develop between us, because our values match, but nothing in life is certain. "Pratyeka nātyāta taḍazoḍa karāvīça lāgate, nāhī kā?" Compromise is a must in every relationship, isn't it?

It was a shock for Mandar that Pallavi felt lust for a Rākṣasa like Raghav - she shouldn't, but maybe Raghav knew how to entice women because he had been a prostitute! Yet Pallavi's words gave Mandar hope that his failure to be a good man wasn't beyond redemption. "Mī samaliṅgī asalyāçe zāṇūna suddhā tulā mājhyāśī nāte ṭikavāvese vāṭate?" Being aware that I'm gay, you still want to maintain a relationship with me? he asked.

"Ho." Yes. "Jevhāṃ tumhīça navhatā tevhāṃ Deshmukh-āñcyā gharāśī māzhe nukateça zoḍalele nāte hātāṃvaracyā mendīsakaṭa agadī sahaza pusatā āle asate, paṇa Āī-Bābāṃnī tase hoū dile nāhī." When you yourself weren't there, my recently attached relationship to the Deshmukh family would have been quite readily wiped away along with the mendī on my hands, but Āī-Bābā didn't let that happen. "Nātyālā nave nāṃva deūna tyāṃnī gharāta mājhī hakkācī zāgā ṭikavalī." They gave the relationship a new name to maintain my rightful place in the family. "Bābāṃnī malā gharābāhera kāḍhalyāvara te nāte tuṭale, āṇi tumhī jīvanta sāṃpaḍalyāvaraça te punhā zoḍale gele." That relationship snapped when Bābā threw me out of the house, and it was reattached only when you were found alive. "Mī koṇa āhe he suddhā tumhālā āṭhavata nasūna, āṇi mī punarvivāha kelā asūna tumhī āpalyā nātyāvara viśvāsa ṭhevalāta āṇi Vikarabad soḍūna gharī ālāta, tyāmuḷe māzhā vanavāsa saṃpalā." Although you didn't even remember who I am, and although I had remarried, you believed in our relationship and left Vikarabad to come home, and that's why my exile ended. "Āza tumhālā tyā Vedant Pillai-śī laḍhatānā pāhūna malā śaṅkā vāṭalī kī mājhyā āyuṣyāta punhā yeūna itakyātaça kā tumhī malā soḍūna zāṇāra?" Today, watching you fighting with that Vedant Pillai, I felt anxious that just when you came back into my life, would you slip away from me? "Āpalyā nātyāta zarī taḍazoḍa karāvī lāgalī tarīhī āyuṣyabhara malā tumhī have āhāta." Even if we have to compromise in our relationship, I still want you for a lifetime.

Mandar understood that Pallavi needed him to renounce his treacherous lust for Farhad, but how could he promise her a lifetime when he hadn't controlled his urges so far? "Pallavi, tujhyāvara mī anyāya kelā āhe, tyāmuḷe tujhī hakkācī zāgā ṭikavāyalā lāgale tara mī ghara soḍūna zāīna, paṇa tujhyā vāṭyālā punhā vanavāsa yeū deṇāra nāhī!" Pallavi, I've been unfair to you, and so, to preserve your rightful place, I'll leave home if I need to, but I won't let exile be your lot again! Mandar declared.

"Tumhī kiṃvā mī kuṇīhī ghara soḍaṇyācī kuṭhe garaza āhe?" What need is there for either you or me to leave home? Pallavi argued. "Sulochana Kākūñcyā pāpāṃnā ātā māphī nāhī; tyāṃnā vanavāsa kiṃvā turuṅgavāsa bhogāvā lāgela, paṇa tumhī kiṃvā mī ase kāya pāpa kele āhe?" Sulochana Kākū's sins can't be forgiven anymore; she'll have to suffer exile or prison, but what sin have you or I committed? "Āpaṇa āpalyā doghāñcyā hakkācyā māṇasāṃta rāhū, āṇi āpaṇa doghehī sukhī hoū aśī kāhītarī vāṭa kāḍhū." We'll live among our people who belong to both of us, and work out some way by which both of us will become happy.

"Pallavi, Amma āpalyālā sallā deū śakate!" Pallavi, Amma can give us advice! Mandar began excitedly, but Pallavi cut him off.

"Te mātra malā çālaṇāra nāhī." I won't tolerate that, though, Pallavi spoke firmly, looking earnestly into Mandar's eyes. "Dr. Ramya tumhālā āīsārakhyā āheta, āṇi tyāṃçe upakāra mī mānate, mhaṇūna tumhī tyāṃnā bheṭū nakā ase mī sāṅgaṇāra nāhī." Dr. Ramya is like a mother to you, and I'm grateful to her, so I won't tell you not to meet her. "Paṇa mānasopacārācyā nāṃvāne tumacyā vyaktimattvātūna eka bhāga ghālavaṇyācyā nādāta tyā tumaçā ātmasaṃmānaça ghālavatīla." However, in her haste to get rid of a part of your personality with so-called psychiatry, she'll actually get rid of your self-esteem. "Kāhīhī kelyāne tumaçe parivartana ghaḍaṇāra nāhī, he ātāparyanta tumhālā kaḷāyalā have hote." Whatever you do, your conversion won't happen, you should have realized by now. "Samaliṅgī mhaṇūna tumhālā ughaḍapaṇe jagāsamora yāyaçe nasela tara te mī samazū śakate." If you don't want to come out before the world and be openly gay, I can understand that. "Māzhe Raghav-śī laiṅgika saṃbandha asalyāçe khoṭe āropa aikalyāvara malāhī lapūna rahāvese vāṭale." When I heard false accusations that I had a sexual relationship with Raghav, I wanted to hide too. "Mājhyā aṅgālā sparśa karāyaçā nasela tara karū nakā; Farhad-vara tumaçe prema asela tara tase malā sāṅgā; paṇa mānasika dabāvākhālī yeūna mājhyāśī premāçe nāṭaka muḷīça karū nakā." If you don't want to touch me, don't; if you love Farhad, tell me; but don't ever succumb to psychological pressure and pretend to love me.

While Mandar and Pallavi finished saying what they had to say to each other, and joined Nikhil, Gulshan, and Rehana in the living room to talk some more, Raghav sat fuming in his den, remembering his conversation with Amma.

"Raghav, calm down and don't give up. Remember, Pallavi is always kind to you. You blamed Pallavi when Sulochana Deshmukh took photos of Kirti, but Pallavi believed that you were sorry. You covered up Mandar's accident, but Pallavi saved you from jail. Now that Pallavi knows your truth, she can actually give you a chance."

"I had a chance, and you ruined it, Amma. Pallavi should have heard from me, not from you!"

"Don't shout at me, Raghav. I thought you had already told Pallavi. Pallavi said that she knew why I had disowned you, and you only did it to support your family. How could you stay in one bedroom with Pallavi while hiding this? How could you allow Pallavi to fast for Vaṭa-Sāvitrī for your seven lifetimes together? Just like forcing Pallavi to marry you, you have to admit what you did so that you can move ahead."

"Amma, you've made sure I can never move ahead. For ten years, you told me I was unworthy to look after you and Celli, and that wasn't enough, so you convinced Pallavi that I'm wrong for her. Even if she leaves Mandar -"

"Anna, may I come in?" Farhad's voice interrupted Raghav's brooding. Damayanti had already got up from her corner and gone to greet Farhad.

Raghav only signalled with his eyes to come in and shut the door. "Just tell me, Farhad, while I thought you were my friend all these years, were you aisā-vaisā?" With a sneer on his face, Raghav made a limp wrist, wanting Farhad to feel rejection just for a moment. He had made this gesture and used this slur often before, and felt like a boss, but now, trying to hurt Farhad, he just felt worse.

Only a few hours ago, Raghav had pushed back at the thought of anyone mocking Farhad as he was doing now. But now Raghav knew that his faith in Farhad's straightness was a joke to Farhad. Raghav Rao had been shut out, and he couldn't just tell Farhad he was forgiven.

"I've always been proudly gay and your friend, Anna." Farhad ignored Raghav's attempt to provoke his anger. He could see bruises on Raghav Anna's face and through his open shirt. Mandar had punched Anna like this! Then how had the fight bruised Mandar Raja? Farhad worried.

"Dhananjay knows you're a homo. Does Savitri jī know?" Raghav demanded, as if the good rapport between Farhad and the administrator of Pooswami Old Age Home was a friendship. Farhad nodded.

"Does Ramakrishna know?" Raghav wanted to be ahead of the eldest of his pious servants at least, but Farhad nodded again, and Raghav felt a pit in his stomach.

"Does Gorilla know?" Raghav persisted, mentally preparing to punch Harish if the answer was yes.

"Anna, I wasn't keeping anything hidden from you, but as your secretary, my duty was to listen to you first and look after your needs. It was never the right time to speak of myself."

Damayanti snorted. Raghav glanced at her and felt vindicated. Even his new dog knew that Farhad could have been himself around Raghav!

"Farhad, we were friends before I started Jayati Jewels! Why didn't you tell me back then?" Raghav wanted to know.

"I knew it was a sensitive subject for you, Anna. Do you remember how we met?"

"Of course I remember! You were a student intern at Pooswami Imports ..." Raghav broke off, unable to say aloud: where a college dropout like Raghav Rao was only hired because I was Pooswami Sir's favourite.

"Pooswami Sir asked me to be your friend," Farhad reminisced. "I was at your side while you learned his business, and I didn't say anything about myself that would make you feel awkward about yourself. Sir told me how he found you, Anna."

Raghav began to perspire and feel short of breath, thinking, Pooswami Sir told Farhad how he came out of a meeting with the police superintendent and heard the constables laughing at me! Does Farhad know why I was arrested? That client started a fight with me because I wouldn't give back his money, and when the police came, they decided to fix my attitude. I had already let the client pollute me, but I couldn't do what he had paid to watch; his wife said she wanted me, but I could tell she didn't from the way she was trembling. I was running out of time to earn enough money to go into business with Ved, and suddenly, I was going to jail. The Inspector was roughing me up, and I was thinking, I can't tell my real name and address, or Amma and Celli will have to leave Hyderabad. That was when Pooswami Sir called me Ramaswami, pretending to recognize me, and he assured the Inspector that he would keep me out of trouble.

Damayanti had come to Raghav's side and raised herself on her hind legs to put her head in his lap. Raghav tried to focus on her as Mandar had told him to do when he had a panic attack.

"I know you told Pooswami Sir that you were on your own because you came out as gay and Amma disowned you. You never had to confirm or deny that lie with me," Farhad said gently, and Raghav's breathing became easier. Raghav could tell that Farhad had always known how he had earned the capital to start Jayati Jewels, and that truth didn't diminish Farhad's respect for his Anna any more than the lie that Pooswami Sir had prompted Raghav to tell him.

"I know that after he took you into his home, you offered to be his boyfriend. And I know why he refused." Farhad quietly thanked Allāh Miyā that the desk was between him and Raghav Anna as he revealed this infuriating secret.

"Listen, Farhad, I was never a ... I was never gay! Pooswami Sir guessed why I didn't have a home, and it was easier to say yes than to tell him the truth about my village and ... that girl who ruined my life. Then Sir told me that he was gay too, and he took me home. I saw a chance to earn some money, and I offered. But he wasn't like the rest of them. He told me that he had never done anything with a man and he never would. He only wanted another chance to be a father to his two sons."

"Pooswami Sir had come out to his wife, and she had left him, taking their sons and refusing to let him have any contact with them," Farhad commented. "After that, his business was his entire focus and his employees were his only family. Once, when I knocked and he didn't hear me because he was staring at his computer screensaver with his sons' old photos, I asked him if a good lawyer could convince a judge to grant him visitation with them. Sir sighed and said that courts can't fix a broken family. Forget visitation or phone calls, his wife refused every time he asked her to accept child support, gifts, or messages for his sons. He thought he had to respect her decision because he had ruined her life. He told me that I was lucky; I was already living my authentic life and I wouldn't deceive anyone, so Veṅkaṭeśvara would send me love, not guilt."

Raghav gave a hollow laugh. "Pooswami Sir was too sentimental. Today, Sārī kā Dukāna told me I violated her and ruined her life with my lies and hypocrisy, and she never wanted to marry me, but so what? Raghav Rao doesn't play by the rules. You win, Pallavi, you're free of me and on your own. I won't provide for you and that Nirupa, that Sanakī, and that whole bunch. Saying it won't make it true. We have ways to look after your Amma, right, Damayanti? Nobody has to know how we do it. One lottery ticket for that Junior College, artham ainadā?"

In the back of his mind, Farhad adjusted his plans to shut down Pushkar Online Casino. Their systems could be repurposed to set up a fake lottery easily. Of course, Mandar Raja wouldn't approve of Nikhil gambling again ...

Aloud, Farhad said, "Anna, please don't give up hope. Bhābhī won't need a settlement. She will realize that she belongs with you. Mandar isn't a threat, you know. Please, Anna, don't fight with Mandar again."

Raghav looked at Farhad's face. Farhad had often pleaded with Raghav to be kind to Pallavi, but he hadn't blushed like this! Could Farhad really have the hots for Mandar?

"Farhad, you have to tell Pallavi that Sanakī Junior is cheating on her." Raghav spoke sharply, looking Farhad directly in the eyes.

"Anna, right now Mandar could be telling Bhābhī that he's gay. Bhābhī's plans for her life will crumble, and so will Mandar's. Right now, they both need to feel lovable. This isn't the time to tell Bhābhī that Dhananjay saw Mandar giving me a kiss. Please let me be Bhābhī's friend ... and Mandar's too."

"Do you remember, Farhad, that you called Sunil Kapoor to tell him that his fiancée Anjali was at RR Mansion, trying to get into my bed? Now you want to cover up Mandar's treachery to Pallavi and call him your friend. You already lied to me when I asked you what you found out about Mandar in Vikarabad. Don't you feel any shame?"

"Mandar isn't like that Anjali, Anna! He spent two years in conversion therapy, faithfully reciting Pallavi's name as if he could stop being gay. Mandar has felt guilty all his life, trying to make his family proud of him. Vedant guessed Mandar's secret, and tried to extort Rs. 50,000 from him on his wedding night. Mandar was on his way to hand Vedant over to the police when the car hit him and he lost his memory. That's what I found out in Vikarabad; Mandar himself told me. When he was with me, he tried to forget that guilt for a moment, and taste what he had given up. It was wrong, and I don't want to hide it from Bhābhī. Only, if Mandar is outed to her by me, or by Dhananjay, or by you, instead of telling her himself, he will always regret that he wasn't brave."

Raghav thought, he didn't need to feel this guilt about Mandar! Mandar deserved to suffer after ignoring Raghav's warning to do right by Pallavi ... but Mandar had kept Raghav's HIV a secret as promised ... maybe because Mandar didn't love Pallavi! Raghav should hate Mandar's seductive baritone voice that had soothed his panic attacks! Mandar himself didn't deserve the chance to make amends that Pallavi had given to Raghav in Mandar's name! So what if Mandar had relieved Celli of guilt for the hit-and-run, and spared Raghav the guilt that he would have felt if he had harmed Damayanti? Raghav had saved Mandar's life before Mandar ever saved Raghav's, and for what? So that his enemy Mandar could live to hurt Pallavi!

"I already outed Mandar to Pallavi!" Raghav spat out the words, and watched as Farhad's face registered shock and shame. "And I told Sanakī Junior that you were only pretending to be gay to expose him to Pallavi." Farhad's eyes filled with tears. "You made a joker of me, Farhad. Why are you crying? Mandar isn't worth it. If he can cheat on Pallavi, he will cheat on you too!"

Farhad wiped his tears and tried to keep his voice steady. "Anything more than friendship between Mandar and me won't happen for a while. But if you broke his trust in that friendship, Anna, you didn't do a good deed. For Bhābhī's sake, Anna, please let Mandar reunite with his family. Don't try to drive him out of Hyderabad, or shame him publicly."

Raghav scowled. He didn't want to hate anyone ever again the way he had hated Pallavi. Mandar didn't deserve Pallavi's love, nor Farhad's, but Raghav wouldn't be responsible for another person being thrown out of the Deshmukh family.

"Relax! I won't give that Rambo another heart attack, or make Nirupa cry." Raghav tried to smirk despite his swollen cheeks and lips. "You know why? Because I don't want those two to star in a cheap remake of the drama from a few months ago, when my so-called sex life was in the news, and Amma was ready to quit living. Once Sārī kā Dukāna accepts the truth about Sanakī Junior, she can convince them to be decent about him and let her go, right? I mean, Rambo actually gave Pallavi his blessing to choose me, and Nirupa tied Pallavi's kalāvā on my wrist. She said some open-minded things about me on yesterday's news too. I can go easy on them."

Farhad smiled at Raghav's effort to cheer up, although he was getting a vibe that Anna might still have an idea to do something to Mandar.

"Anna, when you outed Mandar to Bhābhī, how did she react?"

"She didn't believe me. She changed the subject to how I hid my sexual history from her. She said, after I falsely accused her of selling herself to build her business, I deserve to have my brand ruined with the truth about me. She called Junior College to find out how badly I hurt Sanakī Junior with one punch. Then she listed all the lies I already told her about Mandar. She said that I don't follow her dharma, she's moving ahead with the annulment, and she doesn't want anything more from me."

Farhad's eyes watered again. How awful for Bhābhī to be confronted with Anna's past work just when the news was reporting that Anna had forced her to marry him, and then to be told the truth about Mandar! ... Only one punch! Amidst Raghav's admissions of failure, Farhad's mind grasped at the one positive detail. Ammī also said that Mandar Raja isn't hurt, only upset. I'll go home and talk to him, as Nikhil wanted me to. Mandar Raja has to know that I wasn't pretending to like him!

"Farhad, when you see Pallavi tonight, you have to convince her to take my offer of a settlement and alimony." Raghav's words interrupted the plan in Farhad's mind.

Farhad hesitated, and then he said, "How can I do that, Anna? Do you remember the morning I told you that Bhābhī had made a cake for you?"

Raghav remembered that morning. Waking up with a hangover, he had felt stung by Pallavi's joke that he liked to be undressed by a man, she knew it! She hadn't known, of course, that she was reminding him of his hideous sexual history. Raghav had protested to Pallavi that his mind wasn't double-track, he wasn't aisā-vaisā. And he had made a limp wrist to emphasize his point. Looking at Farhad now, his aimless mockery seemed so ungrateful to the friend who had woken up in the middle of the night to help Pallavi look after him when he was drunk.

"When I arrived to undress you," Farhad continued, "I found money on the floor. You had thrown money on Bhābhī for the cake, and then you had ruined the cake. Anna, you couldn't have been more cruel. What you did that night reminded Bhābhī of how you threw money on her in front of her family and neighbours and said that she had spent nineteen or twenty nights with you. You said you were sorry for the hateful lie, but you only had to be drunk and it came to your tongue again: your money is Bhābhī's motive for liking you. With those memories, how will Bhābhī agree to become rich from having been married to you?"

Raghav looked down at Damayanti. "It disgusts her that I was for sale to anyone who could pay. She'll never agree. But listen, Farhad, I'm sorry I insulted you right now with the limp wrist and all the other times I said homo ... aisā-vaisā ... double-track. I know I was prejudiced - I mean, I still am, but I can change, because I'm your friend, Farhad, I really am, and you're the best friend I could have."

Farhad reached across the desk, and Raghav took his hand gratefully. "Don't worry about me, Anna. How long ago did you tell Bhābhī about those days before Pooswami Imports?"

"I didn't tell her, Farhad. Amma told her yesterday. I lost my chance," Raghav sighed. "Farhad, I still don't understand why you chose not to come out to me before you knew my prejudices. When Pooswami Sir asked you to be my friend, he told you that I said Amma threw me out for being gay, right?"

"Jī, Anna."

"Did Sir already know that you're gay?"

"Jī, Anna. I told Sir when I interviewed for the internship. It's rare to find a successful businessman who is openly gay, and that's why I wanted to do my internship at Pooswami Imports."

"So, Sir thought that I could use your support, and you didn't know that I was lying, but you never told me what you thought we had in common?"

"Anna, it didn't take me long to figure out that you're not gay. Even while Sir was introducing you to everyone, I observed that you tried to impress the most attractive women and you sized up all handsome men as competition."

"Then why did you never tell Pooswami Sir that I lied to him about being gay?"

"Sir already knew, Anna! He told me that you didn't trust him with your truth. You were determined to start your own jewelry business, and he thought you could start over as yourself with a friend of your own age."

Raghav stared at Farhad. Pooswami Sir, that sentimental gay man who couldn't do anything for his own sons, had allowed himself to be used as a benefactor. For nine years, Raghav had thought he had tricked Sir, telling a lie to win his sympathy and free use of the infrastructure, resources, and contacts of Pooswami Imports to start Jayati Jewels. Raghav had only tricked himself. Sir had been genuinely, unselfishly kind to him.

Chapter One on page 1

Chapter Two on page 2

Chapter Three on page 2

Chapter Four on page 3

Chapter Five on page 4

Chapter Six on page 4

Chapter Seven on page 5

Chapter Eight on page 5

Chapter Nine on page 7

Chapter Ten on page 7

Chapter Eleven on page 8

Chapter Twelve on page 8

Chapter Thirteen on page 8

Chapter Fourteen on page 9

Chapter Fifteen on page 10

Chapter Sixteen on page 10

Chapter Seventeen on page 11

Chapter Eighteen on page 11

Chapter Nineteen on page 11

Chapter Twenty on page 11

Chapter Twenty-One on page 11

Chapter Twenty-Two on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Three on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Four on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Five on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Six on page 13

Chapter Twenty-Seven on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Eight on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Nine on page 14

Chapter Thirty on page 14

Chapter Thirty-One on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Two on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Three on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Four on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Six on page 15

In Chapter Thirty-Five, I fulfilled a prompt that I had offered over a year ago:

Who gave Raghav another chance when he failed?

When Pallavi asked Raghav to take back his complaint to the weavers' association and give her thirty days to bring her shop into profit, she said, "Today you're Raghav Rao, but at some point, you must have failed and thought that there was no way to keep trying." Raghav scowled and looked away. Pallavi continued, "And when that happened, someone gave you another chance." Raghav looked surprised, as if searching her face to confirm that she knew a secret from his past. "That's all I am asking of you," Pallavi said, and Raghav gave her the challenge.

I am posting just to keep this topic and forum from locking. Chapter Thirty-Six is half-written, and I'm trying to finish it.

If I can't post here, I'll have to continue only in the Fan Fiction section.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Rehana nudged Nikhil as the door to Farhad's bedroom opened. "Let's go." With Nikhil's hand on Mandar's shoulder and Rehana taking Pallavi's hand, they quietly led the pair to the living room and sat down facing each other.

"When Farhad realized that he was gay, he wasn't ready to tell us," Gulshan informed them gently. "We were paying attention, and making sure he heard our acceptance of anyone else who was out and proud, but he was at the age when children want their privacy. If we had rushed in to tell him what we guessed about his secret thoughts, would he have felt relieved, or would he have felt exposed as different from other boys, and tried to deny it? We waited. Then, one day, Farhad looked at us and we looked back at him; he blushed and smiled and we smiled and nodded; he started to laugh and we laughed with him ... and he just told us as proudly as he would share a new song on his violin after secretly training to play it perfectly."

Mandar and Pallavi hardly realized how smiles had spread over their faces, forgetting their heartaches for a moment. Mandar's body began to tingle, imagining why Farhad had urged him to come out to Pallavi. Even if Farhad helped Raghav to trick and humiliate Amruta and Pallavi, and his loyalty to Raghav comes first, Farhad wouldn't pretend to like me ... he really wants a chance with me ... but I have to be loyal to Pallavi.

"Farhad called; he asked us to look after both of you," Rehana explained. "Farhad's Abbū and I don't want to intrude on your privacy; we only want you to feel safe telling us what you're ready to tell."

"Farhad went to talk to Raghav so that you'll be safe from him, Dādā," Nikhil added. "Dī, breaking up with Dādā doesn't mean you'll leave our family, right?"

"We're not breaking up," Pallavi quickly reassured Nikhil. "Ammī-Abbū, I can understand that you don't approve, but Mandar and I need each other."

"Beṭī, we approve of you choosing what is best for you!" Rehana exclaimed.

Gulshan nodded. "You aren't the first couple to feel this way. Imagine couples who have been married for a few years, couples who share children; when one partner comes out, they often seek comfort in stability, in their friendship and respect for each other."

Love, Mandar thought. What I feel for Pallavi is more than friendship and respect. I love her for taking my place in our family and choosing me over Raghav. And when we have children to hold us together, I'll resist temptations like Farhad ... and he won't want me anymore.

"Usually, they change their minds after some time," Rehana remarked. "When both partners are sure of their affection for each other, they can safely let each other go."

Pallavi stared at Ammī, tears stinging her eyes. Did Ammī think this was just a phase? Was she humouring Pallavi, waiting for her to outgrow her love for Mandar? Pallavi was committed to Mandar for a lifetime together; why couldn't Ammī accept that?

"Don't feel hurt, beṭī." Rehana patted Pallavi's hand. "I am only saying that my support doesn't depend on what choice you make. Never think you are stuck, beṭī. It is your life and you will learn from experience what is best for both of you."

"Dī, come home with us tonight, please?" Nikhil ventured after a silent minute or two.

Pallavi looked at Mandar with yearning. Why had she announced to Āī that she would first annul her marriage to Raghav, and then celebrate all the ceremonies of joining the Deshmukh household? She wanted to spend tonight with Mandar in their bedroom, where she could hear his breathing as she was used to hearing Raghav's, where she could reach out and touch Mandar, where she would know that he was safely hers and he wouldn't leave her behind again. It wouldn't be decorous, of course, right after their first date, without giving Subhadra even a day to file the petition for annulment. Should she care?

Mandar nodded. He couldn't expect Pallavi to stay here after his confession that he liked Farhad. He couldn't come here to date Pallavi; he had to put distance between Farhad and himself, just as Rahul had behaved with Manasi. Mandar gathered his courage and opened his mouth to tell Nikhil yes.

"Wthout consulting elders in the family, it wouldn't be right, Nikhil," Pallavi said. "Tomorrow morning, I'll ask Milind Kākā what to do." For the sake of Amruta's and Manasi's feelings, she wouldn't come home tonight only to drive out Sulochana Kākū the very next day.

Mandar sighed, understanding Pallavi's hint. Their priority was to get Milind Kākā's permission to report Sulochana Kākū's crimes to the police, and then to console Manasi and Amruta. If he brought Pallavi home tonight, Kākū would surely make it an unpleasant memory, forever linked to what would happen to Kākū tomorrow.

"Will Milind jī help Vijay jī and Sharada jī to accept Mandar's truth?" Gulshan asked. He had never met Milind Deshmukh, but after hearing Pallavi's laughter when she had Kākā on the phone, Gulshan felt sure that Milind jī was a jolly uncle.

When neither Mandar nor Pallavi spoke, Nikhil answered, squeezing Mandar's shoulder. "Yes, Milind Kākā always does everything he can to keep our family together," Inwardly, Nikhil had to admit that Kākā had reached his limit when Kākū had beaten Amruta in a rage after the abortion lie backfired. Kākā had tried to throw Kākū out of the house, and Manasi Dī had agreed with him, but Pallavi Dī had convinced Kākā to forgive Kākū so that the whole family could comfort Amruta and Manasi Dī together. What Mandar Dādā had to say would disappoint Āī-Bābā terribly, but even the darkest days were brightened by Milind Kākā's jokes.

Yes, Pallavi thought, Kākā will always believe in Mandar. Even after everything that Raghav did to hurt all of us, Kākā believed that Raghav came to live with our family because he was sincerely sorry. Raghav's face today when I told him that Bābā had been willing to accept him ... I shouldn't be thinking of Raghav! I want acceptance for Mandar. Bābā has to accept that I'm not converting Mandar, just loving him.

Rehana, observing Mandar's disappointed face, tried to comfort him. "Pallavi will stay here tonight, but you are always welcome to visit her."

"Thank you, Ammī jī." Mandar knew that Farhad's Ammī-Abbū meant to be kind, but he had to make a clean break from Farhad. "I was thinking that Pallavi could stay in a hotel from now on."

"Why, Mandar? Would you stay there with her?" Gulshan asked, and got his answer from the unease in Mandar's eyes. "You are free to spend days or nights together as you like, but let us be Pallavi's family until you take her home."

"Farhad will be here soon, Mandar," Rehana reasoned gently. "Talk to him about your plans. Maybe he will understand you better than we can."

Mandar looked at Pallavi, silently pleading with her to forgive him for what Farhad might say when he arrived.

"Tell me about Milind jī's wife," Rehana suggested, to change the subject. "I know you don't like to talk about her, Pallavi, but Farhad told me about her antics in front of the news cameras yesterday. Was her behaviour with Mandar equally hostile?"

"When Sulochana Kākū finds out that I'm gay, she'll gossip about me all over Hyderabad," Mandar predicted. Without telling Milind Kākā tomorrow, he couldn't tell anyone that Kākū had taken him away from his family and left him with Amma, maybe so that she could out him for being in conversion therapy. "She will tell customers to stay away from our shop because of me. Kākū wants my Āī-Bābā to have no income, so that they'll be helpless to sell our house to her."

Gulshan got up and put his hand on Mandar's shoulder gently. "When your need to be loved becomes anyone's reason to deny you opportunities in life, that's unfair. It's rough when you think of that person as your family. Right now, Farhad is finding out if his Anna values him, or he needs to find a new job after coming out. Your answers will come too. But know this, Mandar. You may have more obstacles to face, but success still rewards hard work and talent. Mr. Pooswami - Farhad's first boss - became a successful businessman before he came out as gay. Mr. Pooswami's example gave Farhad confidence to come out even as a student intern, and Farhad proved his capability. Now that you are coming out, Farhad will support you. Whenever you have a rough day, remember that for someone who has to travel the same road after you, you are making it better just by being you."

"Thank you, Abbū jī," Mandar said, as Pallavi smiled and squeezed Ammī's hand. Mandar doubted that Bābā could ever believe in him the way Abbū believed in Farhad.

"We should head home, Nikhil," Mandar suggested. "Bābā will feel stressed if he gets home and doesn't see us there."

"Farhad wants to see you, Mandar," Rehana objected. "He's worried that his Raghav hurt you."

"Bābā hasn't seen me since the fight with Ved at lunchtime," Mandar argued. If he waited here, expecting Farhad to speak to him tenderly, could Mandar be firm in his renewed commitment to Pallavi?

"Let me call Farhad and find out if he's on his way," Gulshan suggested. Mandar's face fell as Gulshan continued, "At least talk to Farhad on the phone."

"Farhad tuzhā mitra āhe nā, Dādā?" Farhad is your friend, isn't he, Dādā? Nikhil spoke up. "Tyālā kāya ṭāḷatoysa?" Why are you avoiding him?

"Farhad-śī bolāyalā tara pāhije tumhī," Well, you have to talk to Farhad, Pallavi noted. Let me see that you won’t leave me for mere physical attraction, she thought.

"Ātā tū aho-zāho karaṇaṃ soḍāvasa." Now you should stop using honorifics for me. Mandar was tired of feeling guilty about Pallavi respecting him like some pati-parameśvara, and now that she knew how unworthy he was, it had to stop. "Āpalyā maitrīcyā saṃsārāta phakta are-ture çālela." In our friendly married life, just singular pronouns will do.

Gulshan called Farhad, but he didn't pick up. A moment later, Abbū received a text: "Driving now. Home soon."

Gulshan, Rehana, and Nikhil tried to engage Mandar and Pallavi in casual conversation, but neither of them could feign much interest after the intense events of the day. Finally, Rehana returned to the subject that was on everyone's mind.

"Mandar, for the past two years you didn't remember you were married. You were free to live as yourself. Did you have a boyfriend?"

"No," Mandar replied quickly. "The one thing I remembered was the name Pallavi. There's no one in my life except Pallavi."

At that moment, Pallavi saw Farhad, who had just stepped into the flat. The hurt expression on his face was unmistakable. Pallavi felt bad for Farhad, and jealous too. Farhad liked Mandar the way Mandar liked him! That was natural. She knew how special it felt to spend time with Mandar. Her husband, the man who had never forgotten her, wanted her to come home. She wouldn't give up on him.

Mandar looked away as soon as he saw Farhad, and got to his feet, wanting to leave before Farhad revealed how Mandar had behaved with him.

Farhad hid his disappointment and tried to be Mandar's friend again. "Raghav Anna told me that he punched you, Mandar. You're not hurt?"

Mandar shook his head miserably.

Farhad wished that Mandar would look him in the eyes. "You know Anna was wrong when he said I tricked you. I want you and Pallavi jī both to be free; that's why I urged you to come out."

Mandar nodded silently. He wanted to tell Farhad, I know you were always honest with me. You were never the coward that I was. Mandar licked his lips, willing himself to say a few grateful words to Farhad. It wasn't right to end their friendship with silence, but he couldn't tell Farhad it was over without Nikhil and Farhad's Ammī-Abbū guessing why.

Before Mandar could answer, Pallavi spoke. "You're our dear friend, Farhad, and you always will be. Whatever you did was only right. Mandar and I are free of the secrets now. No more conversion therapy. I like my husband just the way he is."

"Farhad, what did that man say when you told him you're gay?" Ammī asked, and Mandar felt sorry that he hadn't asked. Farhad had taken Raghav's fury upon himself for Mandar's sake, and Mandar was more concerned about his own coming out! Could he stop being selfish?

"I still have my job and we're still friends," Farhad answered modestly. Raghav Anna's homophobic insults had left an ache even after his apology, but Farhad didn't need Ammī to feel outraged about that. Anna liked to show everyone that he didn't care how he harmed them; he would do it again on purpose. This time, Anna had cared and promised to change. Maybe the day when Kirti would love him was not so far off.

"Mandar, try not to worry about Raghav Anna outing you," Farhad said, changing the subject back. "Anna is angry at you, but he doesn't want to make a spectacle."

"Tomorrow morning, we'll tell Milind Kākā first," Pallavi informed Farhad. "Can you make time to be there with us?"

"Jī, Pallavi jī."

Mandar could not object to Pallavi's invitation after everything Farhad had done to gather evidence for him. "Thank you, Farhad, for everything." Mandar got up, did namaskāra to Ammī and Abbū, gave a grateful look to Pallavi, and walked out of the flat, followed by Nikhil.

For Raghav, the day ended as it had begun, with a visit to the room where he had recreated his childhood home. This time, he brought Damayanti with him.

"See this handkerchief, Damayanti? I stitched 'Raghav loves Maa' on it when I was in school. So, why is it in this room, and not with Amma? Well, the day before MahāŚivarātri, Amma was being released from the hospital, and Celli had told me she would get upset if she saw me, so I went in disguise as a taxi driver to take them home. By the time we got out, Amma had recognized me, but she wouldn't talk to me. She was trembling, and she dropped this handkerchief. I bent to pick it up for her, but when I touched her feet, Amma turned away and left it behind as if it was nothing. This handkerchief stayed in my fist the whole time I was supervising the delivery of sexy clothes into Pallavi's shop and clearing out the sarees, and making a complaint to the weavers' association. Then I put away the handkerchief in this room and got drunk until I lost shame and set out for Amma's house."

Raghav lovingly folded the handkerchief and put it back in its place.

"Damayanti, when I saw those photos of Anjali doing things to me, it took me back to what I had allowed those men to do. Someone I didn't like had used my body again, but I couldn't even remember what I was seeing. I couldn't breathe. Amma had thrown me out for doing what good boys don't do. It took nine years for Amma to give me another chance, and Anjali ruined it. Those photos reminded Amma of me being for sale, and it looked like I was making Anjali do that work. I could have said I was innocent, but who would have believed me? The words didn't come. We couldn't go back to the days when Amma believed in me without any explanation. Now Amma wouldn't hold me and promise that whoever had hurt me would suffer. Amma's tears weren't for me; they were only for that anonymous girl that she thought I ruined."

Picking up the white saree that he had placed in the room that morning, Raghav continued. "I thought it was Pallavi who drugged me and leaked those photos. I had to teach her a lesson: Raghav Rao is no one's victim. When she tore the sleeve of her blouse, I was angry at myself for feeling sorry, but I covered her up with my jacket anyway. So what if she gave Anjali her chance to feel me up? Raghav Rao doesn't like girls outside their limits. Then I showed Pallavi that being naked in the news didn't cramp my style. I got on the dance floor and let everyone look at me. When Pallavi needed someone to hook her blouse, I followed her to her room and got up close. She said, 'You don't have izzata, but I do,' and I thought she was such a phony! The next day, I called her to RR Mansion for a meeting, and I wore sweatpants, no shirt. Let her check me out, and see if I was ashamed! Rambo's face turned red, seeing my body on display for Pallavi, and I thought they both deserved to squirm."

Raghav sank to the floor, pressing the saree to his heart and letting his tears flow. "Well, look at Raghav Rao today, Damayanti! Sārī kā Dukāna got her Bābā's blessing for our marriage, but she will never look back at me. Her attraction to my body was my only advantage, but she's over it, now that she knows I have HIV. I was stupid, thinking that she could love me after knowing what I traded for money while she was staying pure for marriage. I lost my chance long before I even met her. I hate that I had to beg Pallavi not to tell my secret, while I couldn't stop that video from getting out. Pallavi forgave me for bragging about paying her for sex, but she and Celli will never be free of gossip, while I get to move on with my life after doing it all. Pooswami Sir made everything possible for me. Why did he want me to succeed? I know I could never be nice to someone who lied about feeling attracted to me, the way I kept giving Sir signals that he could have me. I just want to get drunk and forget all my mistakes. Why shouldn't I? Amma, Celli, Pallavi, Farhad ... whatever I do out of love for them only makes them unhappy."

Damayanti put her head in Raghav's lap.

"You still believe I'm not all bad, right? Help me to stay away from the whisky, Damayanti."

Sitting face-to-face with Damayanti, Raghav told her, "Everything's piling on Pallavi, you know. She's making bad decisions, not thinking clearly. Someone has to tell her Mandar's not right for her, but who is there? Farhad has a soft corner for Mandar. When Mandar's family and his friend Krishna find out he's a cheater and a homo - I mean, gay, they'll make excuses."

Damayanti licked Raghav's face.

"You're right! Your Māmayya and Attayya will want what's best for Pallavi. She might not feel ashamed telling them about Mandar ... or about me."

Raghav tried calling Siddhesh, and then Pavani. Neither of them picked up. Raghav left each of them a message to call Pallavi; she is facing a crisis and needs to talk to them right away. "All right, Damayanti. I would have told them all about Mandar, but let's give them a chance to hear it from Pallavi. Now, there's one more bad decision that we have to block before your Amma regrets it."

Raghav called Dhananjay. "Delay the annulment."

"Good evening, Mr. Raghav. Is it your objective to convince Mrs. Pallavi to return to your marriage? I can plan our strategy accordingly."

"No. I don't want Pallavi to feel trapped, but Raghav Rao's ex-wife can't walk away empty-handed. Today, Pallavi told me she got back Rs. 10 lakh, and I thought she had almost that much in savings. Then I counted the money that Pallavi had returned to Amma, and it was Rs. 8 lakh! What was the hurry? Amma wasn't asking for the money back! But no, Pallavi has to be honest, so her contingency fund never grows. Until she accepts the settlement and alimony that I've offered, I won't let her go, artham ainadā?"

"That will be a most atypical negotiation, Mr. Raghav! I suppose I can argue that your marriage to Mrs. Pallavi is valid until Mr. Mandar Deshmukh's death certificate is expunged, and in the meantime her right to maintenance under divorce law cannot be ignored."

"Whatever." Raghav ended the call, and said to Damayanti, "If Satya-Nārāyaṇa is taking notice, by the time your Amma decides to dump Mandar, she'll realize that Raghav Rao's love and money aren't such a bad combination."

Chapter One on page 1

Chapter Two on page 2

Chapter Three on page 2

Chapter Four on page 3

Chapter Five on page 4

Chapter Six on page 4

Chapter Seven on page 5

Chapter Eight on page 5

Chapter Nine on page 7

Chapter Ten on page 7

Chapter Eleven on page 8

Chapter Twelve on page 8

Chapter Thirteen on page 8

Chapter Fourteen on page 9

Chapter Fifteen on page 10

Chapter Sixteen on page 10

Chapter Seventeen on page 11

Chapter Eighteen on page 11

Chapter Nineteen on page 11

Chapter Twenty on page 11

Chapter Twenty-One on page 11

Chapter Twenty-Two on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Three on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Four on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Five on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Six on page 13

Chapter Twenty-Seven on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Eight on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Nine on page 14

Chapter Thirty on page 14

Chapter Thirty-One on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Two on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Three on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Four on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Five on page 15