Hasta-prāpya-stabaka-namito bāla-Mandāra-vṛkṣaḥ (FF) Ch. 36 p. 15 - Page 10

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Posted: 2 years ago
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Chapter Fifteen


"Dādā, mājhyāmuḷe aḍaçaṇa hoṇāraça nāhī, śapatha!" Dādā, I won't be in the way at all, I swear! The plaintive tone in Nikhil's deep voice made Mandar laugh, as it brought back memories of his teenage years when Nikhil, a toddler, had insisted on spending playtime with his Dādā, ignoring playmates of his own age. "Mī kitī vazana uçalū śakato, he tulā māhītaça nasela." You may not even know how much weight I can lift. "Tū gelī aḍīça varṣe kuṭhe āṇi kasā rāhilāsa, tyāçā video kāḍhāyalā malā kadhī punhā saṃdhī miḷela?" When will I have another chance to make a video of where and how you lived for the past two-and-a-half years?


As soon as Mandar had cancelled the taxi and told his family that Farhad would be driving him and Vishnu to Vikarabad and bringing him back, Nikhil made clear his unwillingness to stay behind. Farhad's idea - that Nikhil wouldn't want to waste four hours riding in a car when he needed to catch up on work after taking time off for the pūjā that morning - had seemed sensible to Mandar, but he had forgotten that Nikhil was grown up now, and Nikhil would decide how to balance his responsibilities at work and at home. Mandar was impatient to figure out, with input from Farhad and Vishnu and Dr. Ramya, what had happened between his hospitalization in Hyderabad and his arrival at the clinic in Vikarabad, but he knew that anything that would implicate Sulochana Kākū could not be discussed in front of Nikhil. Farhad had changed his plans for the evening, just to talk with Mandar. How was Mandar going to tell Farhad that his time would be wasted; they wouldn't get to talk?


Sharada spoke up. "Are Mandar, zātānā zara tumhī cāra zaṇa gāḍīta basalāta, tara tumaçe pāya ākhaḍatīla kā?" Oh, Mandar, if the four of you sit in the car on the way there, will you not have leg-room? "Āṇi yetānā tīna zaṇāṃbarobara tujhyā sāmānālā zāgā nasela kā?" And on the way back, with the three of you, won't there be room for your baggage? "Nikhil-lā gheūna zā, āṇi tyācyā nazaretūna malā suddhā baghūde, mājhyā bāḷālā vanavāsāta kāya bhogāve lāgale!" Take Nikhil along, and let me also see through his point of view what my child had to endure in exile!


Mandar nodded. There was no way to leave Nikhil at home. On Mandar's first night back, fearing that he would be lost again, Bābā had made him promise not to go anywhere alone. And after what Āī and Bābā had heard about Farhad from his parents last night, Mandar thought, they might worry about Mandar in Farhad's company even more than with a stranger driving a taxi.


Farhad pulled up to the door in the car that he had borrowed from Raghav. Mandar sheepishly walked up to him, and said, "Nikhil is coming on this trip with me after all. I'm sorry, Farhad, we won't be able to talk privately. I shouldn't have wasted your time. If you want to back out, I should be able to find a taxi."


Mandar's sheepish posture and sorry face are irresistible, Farhad thought. "Don't worry about it," he said with a smile. "Is everyone ready?" As he spoke, Farhad wondered if he had accidentally voiced his thoughts instead: I want to spend my time with you, Mandar, even if I have to watch what I say in front of your little brother.


By this time, Raghav and Kirti were back at home. Damayanti came bounding along from the living room to meet them at the door. Raghav bent down and took Damayanti in his arms. "Let's hope your Amma is safe now."


Damayanti licked his face. Raghav had an idea. "You haven't met your Māmayya and Attayya yet. We should have a video call with them, but they're both at work right now. Middle-class, you know. So, we'll have to wait. Let's go to the den and get some work done, ourselves." Raghav knew that Siddhesh Sawant wouldn't readily believe what he had to say, so he couldn't afford to touch the whisky right now.


Now Farhad was driving along the highway to Vikarabad, with Nikhil in the front passenger seat, making a video of their journey. Mandar and Vishnu were in the back seat, enjoying Nikhil's commentary. It had been Farhad's idea that Nikhil should sit in front and make a video. Farhad knew that sitting in Raghav's car, next to Raghav's secretary, brought back regrettable memories for Nikhil: the illegal work that he had done for Raghav's business, his arrest at Raghav's order, and the night he had spent in jail. Farhad was sorry that Raghav Anna had ruined this boy's life in his hurry to marry Pallavi. Raghav had been Nikhil's age when Farhad had first met him, and Raghav had had the same guilty look that now came into Nikhil's eyes while serving dinner or prasāda to Farhad. Unlike Raghav, whose motivation to chase easy money had only redoubled after losing his family, Nikhil wanted to change, for he was still beloved by his parents, who accepted his humiliation as their own. Surely Raghav Anna was aware of why Nikhil did not like to be seen with him. Farhad knew that Raghav had given up trying to win the approval of Pallavi's family, but he had never quite begun the effort with her siblings: Amruta, who was disenchanted with him; Manasi, who was discomfited by him; and Nikhil, who was ashamed of him. With Mandar's return, Nikhil's mood had brightened, Farhad could tell, and he hoped that Nikhil would grow comfortable next to him by the end of their two-hour drive.


Nikhil opened the window to get a better view, and a cloud of dust blew into his face. He began to cough, and searched for a bottle of water. Opening the glove compartment, he found a bottle of what looked like iced tea. He gulped it down gratefully; it soothed his throat, but as he felt warmth throughout his body, he turned to Farhad and asked, "What is this drink? I thought it was iced tea!"


Farhad's hope to make Nikhil comfortable in Raghav's car? Gone! "Sorry, Nikhil. It must be Raghav Anna's leftover drink. It's called a Long Island Iced Tea, but it's very alcoholic. Don't drink it. Mandar, there should be a water bottle near you."


Mandar found the water bottle and handed it to Nikhil, who took several gulps. But it was too late. Nikhil was already starting to feel intoxicated.


"Raghav stores alcohol in his car?" Mandar was shocked. "What other surprises are there, Farhad? You should have made sure the car was safe before you told us to get in. I don't want Raghav's example to corrupt my little brother!"


"Too late! Dādā, it's too late," Nikhil giggled. "I already went to jail! I went to jail, Dādā! Because I did Raghav's work."


Yā Allāh, Farhad thought, is this what You have written for me? I didn't want to hurt Mandar like this. Please allow me to redeem myself.


"Farhad, please pull over so that Nikhil can swap seats with Vishnu." Mandar tried to be calm. "That drink of Raghav's is so strong that Nikhil is already swaying in his seat. I don't want him to hit his head."


", Mandar. I am really sorry." Farhad found a spot to pull over, and Mandar and Vishnu helped Nikhil into the back seat, where he rested his head on Mandar's shoulder. Farhad pulled back onto the highway.


"Now, Farhad, please tell me if what Nikhil said is true. He worked for Raghav and went to jail?" It was no use to try to be calm; Mandar's thoughts were racing and his voice was unsteady with anger.


"Yes," Farhad admitted, "Nikhil carried packages for Raghav Anna. Nikhil didn't know who the boss was, and neither Anna nor I knew about Nikhil. Usually, the police leave our boys alone. But then, just when Pallavi refused to marry Anna, he happened to find out about Nikhil, and he told the police to arrest Nikhil. Anna made it clear not to hurt Nikhil, just to arrest him, so that Pallavi would have to say yes in exchange for Nikhil's freedom. I am sorry, Mandar. Nikhil spent a night in jail, but he was cleared of wrongdoing and set free in the morning, while the wedding was happening."


"I misjudged Pallavi," Mandar sighed. "When Āī and Pallavi said that Raghav put pressure on her to marry him, I thought that Pallavi was disgraced and destitute because of Raghav's lies, and Raghav's mother insisted to legitimize and provide for Pallavi as atonement, so Pallavi accepted her wishes. But no, Pallavi wouldn't have compromised her self-respect to fit society's warped idea of respectability. She only submitted to Raghav to protect Nikhil, because I had asked her to consider my family her own family."


Vishnu reached back for Mandar's hand to comfort him.


"How can Raghav actually be worse than everything I heard about him so far?" Mandar asked. "I knew that he falsely accused Pallavi of trading sexual favours for the shop and asking him to register Bābā's business in her own name. Now you've told me that he's a smuggler who shifted his own guilt onto Nikhil. I knew that he is a gūṇḍa, of course; he caught Pallavi at night to threaten her; he abducted her to tie her in front of a truck; he sent fake police to kidnap her and confined her in his house. But to hold an innocent boy in jail with who knows what dangerous criminals! This is how Raghav respects his mother's wishes? This is how he forced Pallavi to accept marriage as his 'sorry' for dragging her name through the mud? Tell me, Farhad, have you ever asked your boss to stop hurting innocent women and children?"


"I wasn't innocent, Dādā!" Nikhil mumbled. "I knew what I was doing. I'm sorry. I needed the money to pay off my online gambling debts. I'm sorry. My creditors were the ones who sent fake police to kidnap Pallavi , so I had to take the smuggling job to make quick money. I'm sorry."


This was news to Farhad. "Mandar, I can't defend myself; I knew that Raghav Anna's orders were unjust and cruel when I chose to follow them. But I think Nikhil is telling the truth. Raghav Anna has never denied his crimes against Pallavi Bhābhī, except that when she accused him of sending fake police to kidnap her, he insisted that he knew nothing about it. Nikhil may have a good reason to think that his creditors did that. Mandar, I was with Raghav Anna when we found Pallavi Bhābhī lying unconscious in the road. Anna was drunk, and like Nikhil right now, he was being honest. His natural reaction was to protect Bhābhī by taking her to his house and putting her in the guest room."


"Well, you were sober, right, Farhad?" Mandar felt himself getting enchanted by Farhad's calm and reasonable voice; if he let it control him, he would believe in Raghav's humanity, but he didn't want to be gullible. "And you didn't think to call my family? You let Pallavi wake up and wonder what Raghav might have done to her while she was unconscious! Listen, you can stop calling her Bhābhī now. She has chosen to stay married to me."


Farhad felt stunned. He knew that Mandar was trying to believe in his marriage, but to hear that Pallavi Bhābhī had already decided! Had she told Raghav Anna? Probably not, as the Raghav that Farhad knew would have been furiously assaulting Mandar, not answering Mandar's questions and instructing the police to investigate the hit-and-run seriously. Regardless, the news was awful. Farhad had no doubt that married life would be a mistake for both Pallavi and Mandar. He would have to find an opportunity to speak to Mandar alone about this.


Nikhil had shut his eyes and his mouth was hanging open. Mandar's one hand was steadying Nikhil's head as the car sped along the highway.


Vishnu noticed Farhad's silence in response to Mandar's announcement. Losing his wife would undoubtedly put Farhad's boss in a bad mood. Vishnu decided to change the subject. "Farhad, what can you tell us about the events after Mandar's accident?"


Mandar, hearing Nikhil's even breathing and thinking that it would take him a while to sleep off the drink, decided to allow this topic.


"Raghav Anna took Mandar to S. K. Venkatesh Criticare Hospital, where he was treated by Dr. Janaki," Farhad began. "Mandar, do you remember Dr. Janaki? Is that why you asked me where to find her?"


"No," Mandar said. "Vishnu overheard someone talking to Dr. Janaki, telling her to keep quiet about me." Mandar passed his phone to Vishnu to show Farhad a photo of Sulochana Kākū from the wedding album that Pallavi had shared with him.


Farhad glanced at the photo and returned his focus to driving. It wasn't surprising that Sulochana Deshmukh had a guilty secret concerning Mandar's disappearance. That woman was capable of the most convoluted plotting to humiliate and disunite her own family members, especially Mandar's Bābā - Vijay - and Pallavi Bhābhī. Farhad was determined to stand by Mandar against that deceitful woman.


"Promise me, Mandar, that when you go to talk to Dr. Janaki, you will take me with you," Farhad demanded. "I can convince her to tell the truth to you. And I want to make sure that her contact won't find out what you know and do anything further to you for revenge. Please, Mandar, maybe you don't know what could happen, but I do."


Mandar heard the concern in Farhad's voice, and in spite of his indignation over Nikhil and Pallavi, he melted. "I promise," he said softly, thinking of how easily Farhad handled people. "You can be at my side, every step of the way."


"Good. Now, about how you left the hospital." Farhad paused and clarified what he meant. "Raghav Anna didn't get to see the hospital records, but this is what Dr. Janaki said to him, face-to-face, a few weeks ago. She said, a woman came to the hospital and identified you as Parijat Padhye, and herself as your sister, Suhasini Joshi. Dr. Janaki didn't say that you had memory loss; she said that you confirmed your name and your relationship, and willingly left with Suhasini in a taxi."


"No, I didn't!" Mandar protested more loudly than he should have, and felt Nikhil stirring. Farhad nodded. "I remember reaching Amma's - meaning Dr. Ramya's - clinic in a taxi. This Suhasini dropped me off there." Mandar extended his finger so that Farhad could see him pointing to Sulochana's photo on the phone in Vishnu's hand. "Amma remembers her quite well, bindī and all!"


Farhad was impressed. Mandar already had a witness against his enemy, and Sulochana Deshmukh hadn't seemed aware of that fact at the pūjā this morning.


"She's not very good at disguise," Vishnu observed. "Same signature bindī, similar first name ... and Pārijāta is one of the five species of heavenly trees, just like Mandāra. I'm surprised that she called herself your sister, and not your aunty."


"She hates to be called Aunty," Mandar remembered. "It suits her personality to pretend to be younger."


"What I don't understand is how she located you at that particular hospital," Farhad remarked. "Your family didn't hear news for many days; why was she the one who got to you first? Your accident was witnessed by an escaped prisoner named Vedant Pillai, who recognized you. Would he have informed her?"


Mandar got goosebumps at the mention of Ved's name, and had he heard Farhad correctly? "Did you say, an escaped prisoner?"


"Yes, Raghav Anna started his business, Jayati Jewels, with Vedant Pillai as his partner. But Vedant was using the business to smuggle drugs, and Raghav Anna didn't tolerate that, so Vedant went to prison. He happened to escape shortly before your accident, and just after Sunny Ahuja drove away from the scene, when Raghav Anna was lifting you off the road, Vedant arrived by coincidence and recognized you."


"It wasn't a coincidence," Mandar admitted. "I was there to meet Ved, and I had called the police to have him arrested."


Farhad was too surprised to say anything. It was Vishnu who asked, "How did you know him?"


"We were classmates. We lost touch after college, but I had given him permission to view my ShakalGranth page, and I guess that's where he saw a photograph of my wedding invitation." Mandar paused, and then said quickly in a low voice, "Ved used to talk about girls in college, and when I didn't have the interest that I should, he guessed that ... he guessed. I hadn't heard from him in about five years, until Bābā told me that Ved called our land line and spoke to him by mistake, trying to blackmail me that he would tell Pallavi unless I brought him cash right away. Ved wanted to meet at a hotel on Outer Ring Road."


Farhad was even more surprised now. Mandar's Bābā knew? He found out on the wedding night? How did he react?


At that moment, Nikhil grumbled, and everyone else fell silent. Nikhil opened his eyes and sat upright in his seat. Mandar offered Nikhil some more water, and told him he would feel all right soon.


Shortly after the four of them had reached Mandar's room in Vikarabad, and while they were packing up his baggage, Pallavi, having finished work at Deshmukh Saree Emporium and returned to Farhad's flat, placed a video call to Pavani Vahinī in Kolhapur.


"Bola, Pallavi," Pavani greeted her with a smile. "Āmacyāpekṣā tyā Farhad-cyā gharaçe tuzhe jāsta lāḍa karatāta, nāhī kā?" That Farhad's family pampers you more than we do, right? "Mhaṇūna tara māherapaṇālā yāyaçe soḍūna tū titheça ramalī asaśīla." That must be why you avoid visiting your own family and enjoy yourself there.


Pallavi smiled back at Pavani. "Vahinī, tū āṇi Dādā doghe gharī poçalāta kā?" Vahinī, have you and Dādā both reached home? "Malā tumhā doghāṃśī bolāyaçe āhe." I want to talk with both of you.


Pavani walked with her phone to where Siddhesh was sitting, only to hear him say, "Namaste, Raghav." Pavani quickly sat down next to Siddhesh, allowing Pallavi to hear their video call conversation with Raghav.


"Dādā, Vahinī, Pallavi is my life." Raghav jumped right in to what he had to say. "She says I frighten her, but I love her and I'm trying to change for her. Now that she has chosen Mandar, you have to convince her not to avoid me."


"What?" Siddhesh interrupted, while Pavani looked surprised, and Pallavi cringed. "Raghav, why are you the one calling us to tell us this? When did Pallavi make this decision?"


"Āpakā bahana āpako nahīṃ bolā to maiṃ kyā kiyā?" Raghav muttered, annoying Pallavi more; Raghav had a knack for adding insult to injury. "Dekhiye, Pallavi told me this morning at the pūjā at Mandar's house. Our marriage is headed for annulment, which means that I was never her husband and she was never my wife. I'm calling to tell you this: the first part may be true; I wasn't any good as a husband; but I will never accept the second part. Pallavi was my wife, and that will always be reality for me."


"Raghav, we haven't spoken to Pallavi yet," Pavani said. "I am sure she wanted to talk to you first, so that you wouldn't hear from someone else. Pallavi will tell us her news this evening, and then we can listen to whatever you want to say. Please excuse us for now."


"Wait, Vahinī!" Raghav knew that he might not be sober to say this tomorrow. "You need to hear this. You two are the only people in the world who listen only to Pallavi. Even Sharada Āī has four other children, but you only have Pallavi. So, I'm telling you, if Pallavi ever wants anything that I can give her, you let me know. I promise I will always honour her rights as my wife." Raghav pulled Damayanti in front of the camera. "See? This is Damayanti. Pallavi told me that I should get a dog, and I listened because she's my wife. Damayanti, this is your Attayya, and that's your Māmayya."


"Damayanti, zara mī tujhyāśī Marāṭhīta bolalo, tara tulā samazela nā?" Damayanti, if I speak to you in Marathi, you'll understand, right? Siddhesh said. Pavani gave her a smile and a hand-wave, and Damayanti gave them a friendly bark.


"Ṭhīka, Damayanti, Raghav-vara nazara ṭheva." Very well, Damayanti, you keep an eye on Raghav. Siddhesh smiled at Damayanti. "Raghav, thank you for reaching out to us. Pallavi will be all right. We will always look after her. You take care of yourself." He ended the call, and turned to Pavani. "Zaśī nāndī, tase nāṭaka, āṇi zase nāṭaka, tase Bharatavākya!" The invocation was matched by the play, and the play was matched by the benediction!


Pavani held up her phone in front of them both, and said, "Heça sāṅgāyalā phone kelā hotāsa nā, Pallavi?" This was what you called to say, right, Pallavi?


"Ho, Vahinī." Pallavi tried to gather her words. "Tumhālā kāmācyā ṭhikāṇī vyatyaya hoū naye, mhaṇūna saṃdhyākāḷī bolāyaçe dharale." I didn't want to cause a disruption at your workplaces, so I planned to talk in the evening. "Paṇa Raghav-ne je ādhīça tumhālā kaḷavale, te khare āhe." But as Raghav already informed you, it's true. "Kāla dupārī, Mandar-āṃnī malā punhā māgaṇī ghātalī, āṇi mī tyāṃnā punhā pasanta kele." Yesterday afternoon, Mandar proposed to me again, and I accepted him again. "Āza sakāḷī, Āī-Bābāṃnī Satya-Nārāyaṇācī pūjā kelī; tithe mī Raghav-lā bāzūlā gheūna tyālā māzhā nirṇaya kaḷavalā; āṇi maga Mandar āṇi mī gharacyāṃśī bolalo." This morning, Āī-Bābā held a Satya-Nārāyaṇa pūjā; there I took Raghav aside to inform him of my decision; and then Mandar and I spoke to our family. "Raghav-lā zarā dhakkā lāgalāya; to Mandar-āṃśī zarā vicitrapaṇe bolalā." Raghav is feeling rather disturbed; he spoke rather strangely to Mandar. "Paṇa haḷūhaḷū tyālā suddhā samazela kī māzhā nirṇaya yogya āhe." But gradually even he will understand that my decision is appropriate. "Dona-tīna divasāṃta Subhadra - mājhyā vakīla-bāī - māzhe dusare lagna radda karaṇyāçā arza ṭākatīla." In two or three days, Subhadra - my lady lawyer - will file the petition to annul my remarriage. "Toṃvara mī Farhad-cyā gharī rāhīna, āṇi Mandar-āṃbarobara lagnāādhī jevaḍhe phirāyalā miḷāle navhate, tevaḍhe phirūna gheīna." Until then, I will stay with Farhad's family, and as much as I didn't get to enjoy Mandar's company before marriage, I'll get to enjoy it now.


"Mandar rāva kase āheta?" How is Mandar rāva? Siddhesh asked. "Āheta kā tujhyā tithe?" Is he there with you?


"Āza dupārī Mandar Vikarabad-lā gele." This afternoon, Mandar went to Vikarabad. "Tyāṃçe tithale sāmāna gharī āṇāyaçe āhe." His baggage from there needs to be brought home. "Rātrī naū-dahā vāzeparyanta gharī yeūna thakalele asatīla; nāhī tara tumacī tyāñcyāśī bheṭa āzaca zhālī asatī." When he gets home by nine or ten o'clock at night, he'll be tired; otherwise, you would have gotten to meet him today.


"Çālela, tyā nimittāne tujhyāśī zarā mokaḷepaṇāne bolato." That's fine; in that case I will talk to you rather freely. Siddhesh's expression grew quite serious. "Tū pūrṇapaṇe vicāra karūna hā nirṇaya ghetalā asaśīla, tyābaddala malā kāhīça śaṅkā nāhī." You would have considered everything and taken this decision - I have no doubt at all about that. "Raghav-çe tyācyā āībahiṇīṃśī paṭata navhate, mhaṇūna tū tyālā navarā mānaṇyāçā zo svārthatyāga kelāsa, to ātā soḍūna tū svataḥcyā hitāçā vicāra karata āhesa, he aikūna malā bare vāṭale." Raghav didn't get along with his mother and sister, so you accepted him as your husband, sacrificing your own interest; but now you have given up on that, and you are thinking of your own welfare - I felt good hearing this. "Mandar rāva hī tujhyāsāṭhī mājhīça nivaḍa hotī, āṇi te tulā sukhāta ṭhevatīla." Mandar rāva was my own selection for you, and he will keep you happy. "Kuṭumbāta miḷūna-misaḷūna rāhaṇyāçā tuzhā svabhāva āhe, paṇa ātā tujhyākaḍe tyā Deshmukh-āñcyā gharāta aḍīça varṣe rāhilyāçā anubhava āhe." Unifying and harmonizing with your family - that's your personality, but now you have the experience of having lived in that Deshmukh household for two-and-a-half years. "Tyā Sulochana Kākūṃçā jīvagheṇā chaḷa sosaṇyāta, kiṃvā Vijay Kākāñcyā vikṣipta svabhāvālā kuravāḷaṇyāta, tulā yāpuḍhe tuzhe akkhe āyuṣya kāḍhāyaçe nasela, tara Mandar rāvāṃśī vegaḷe birhāḍa māṇḍaṇyābaddala bolūna pahā." If you don't want to spend the totality of your future life enduring that Sulochana Kākū trying to bully you to death, or petting Vijay Kākā's eccentric personality, then try talking to Mandar rāva about setting up your own household.


"Siddhesh agadī barobara bolatoya." What Siddhesh says is absolutely correct, Pavani joined in. "Hakkācyā navaryākaḍūna kāhīhī māgaṇyāta ugāça saṃkoca karū naye." When one has anything to ask of one's rightful husband, one shouldn't needlessly hesitate. She smiled at Siddhesh. "Lāgaleça tara tujhyā bāzūne ubhe rahāyalā āmhī āhotaça." If you ever need someone to stand up for you, you can count on us. "Binadhāstapaṇe rājārāṇīçā saṃsāra karā, taruṇa vayāpramāṇe havī taśī majā karā, āṇi nātavaṇḍe kheḷavāyalā tevaḍhe sāsūsāsaryāṃnā hāka mārā!" Be carefree in your married life, like king and queen, suit your youthful age by having as much fun as you like, and only call out to your mother-and-father-in-law to play with their grandchildren!


"Dādā, Vahinī, malā kharaṃça bharalyā gharātaça rahāyaçe āhe!" Dādā, Vahinī, I really only want to live in a full house! Pallavi insisted.


By seven-thirty that evening, as expected, Mandar's baggage was all packed into the car. Vishnu had said goodbye and headed home, and Farhad had driven Mandar and Nikhil to a dhaba for a quick dinner, and then to Dr. Ramya's house. Mandar had announced his plans with Pallavi to his Amma and was saying goodbye to her when his phone rang. It was the ambulance service.


"Raja, the police want to take a statement from you about one Mrs. Sandhya Narahari, whom you transported three days ago. How soon can you come to Vikarabad?"


"I'm actually in Vikarabad right now, at Amma's - Dr. Ramya's house." Mandar gave the address, ended the call, and turned to Farhad, Nikhil, and Dr. Ramya. "Amma, the police are coming to take my statement about a domestic violence case. Farhad, I am sorry about the delay, but we can't leave yet."


"No problem, Mandar. This is important," Farhad said.


A few minutes later, while they were waiting for the police, Dr. Ramya's phone rang.


"Mandar, beṭā, I have to go," Dr. Ramya said. "One of my patients tried to hurt himself, and he's in the emergency room, asking for me. I could be out all night. So, when you leave, please lock the door and leave this key with my neighbours on that side. They have gone out of town, but the grandmother is at home."


"Yes, Amma."


Dr. Ramya left, the police came, and Mandar gave his statement about the condition in which he had found Mrs. Narahari. As soon as the police left, Mandar locked Dr. Ramya's house. He was walking over to the neighbours' house when his phone rang. It was Amma.


"Mandar, beṭā, are the police still at my house with you?"


"No, Amma, they left a few minutes ago."


"That's too bad. My patient's family is very upset; they think I did not try hard enough to cure their son. His father and uncles and brothers threatened me. I am staying at the emergency room all night, so I'll be safe, and the clinic has a night watchman, but I am worried about my house. There's only the grandmother next door."


"Amma, I understand. Let me talk to Farhad." Mandar turned back and walked up to Farhad, who was standing with Nikhil near the car. "Amma has been threatened, and she is worried about her house because she will be out all night. It's already nine o'clock. Could we stay here tonight, and go back to Hyderabad in the morning?"


Farhad knew that if he tried to hire security guards now, they wouldn't get back to Hyderabad until after midnight. "Yes, Mandar, we'll watch your Amma's house until she gets back."


Chapter One on page 1

Chapter Two on page 2

Chapter Three on page 2

Chapter Four on page 3

Chapter Five on page 4

Chapter Six on page 4

Chapter Seven on page 5

Chapter Eight on page 5

Chapter Nine on page 7

Chapter Ten on page 7

Chapter Eleven on page 8

Chapter Twelve on page 8

Chapter Thirteen on page 8

Chapter Fourteen on page 9

Chapter Sixteen on page 10

Chapter Seventeen on page 11

Chapter Eighteen on page 11

Chapter Nineteen on page 11

Chapter Twenty on page 11

Chapter Twenty-One on page 11

Chapter Twenty-Two on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Three on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Four on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Five on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Six on page 13

Chapter Twenty-Seven on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Eight on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Nine on page 14

Chapter Thirty on page 14

Chapter Thirty-One on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Two on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Three on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Four on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Five on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Six on page 15

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 9 months ago
Avneel07 thumbnail
Anniversary 6 Thumbnail Group Promotion 3 Thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#92

Loved this part. U write so beautifully. Wait for this story eagerly

1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#93

Thank you, Avneel07!


I always wanted to write one or more conversations between Siddhesh and Raghav, but I wasn't sure that Siddhesh would let out his true feelings to the man whom Pallavi has chosen, and I couldn't decide whether Raghav would be rude or well-behaved. In this story, I felt that the time had come for Siddhesh and Pavani to make an appearance. Pallavi must have informed them already that Mandar is alive and she's living with Farhad's parents, and of course they would be surprised, approve of her wish to live apart from Raghav, and hope that it works out with Mandar. I didn't think that scene would add much to the story, so I didn't write it. But the scene of Raghav video-calling Siddhesh in this chapter was inspired (if I may use the word) by the scene on the show of Raghav video-calling Pallavi from Janakamma's house while unclothed, just to tell her not to look at him while he's changing, and by the way, he read her diary!


I have difficulty suspending disbelief when a character gets drunk without realizing that a drink is alcoholic, but I decided to go for it with Nikhil in this chapter because hapc and SONIA441 wanted the truth about the fake police kidnapping to come out, and it had to come from Nikhil, who has been holding his tongue so far. Intoxication seemed like the only way to get Nikhil to spill the secret. And Raghav being indirectly responsible for getting Nikhil drunk seemed like the most dramatic setting for Mandar to find out what Raghav did to Nikhil.


I hope my readers found it funny that alone time for Mandar and Farhad is not coming by so easily, and the reward for your endurance is that they'll spend a night together - at Dr. Ramya's house, no less, while the conversion therapist isn't around to observe them. So, my question to you is:


What should happen between Mandar and Farhad tonight?

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 2 years ago
1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#94

I am happy to announce that this story is now available in the Fan Fiction section with an amazing cover designed by Sevenstreaks:

Edited to add:

First cover by Sevenstreaks: https://imgur.com/astDBT4

Second cover by Serpensortia: https://imgur.com/b35vP8J

The current cover is by Aparajita_K:

https://www.indiaforums.com/fanfiction/1763

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 2 years ago
1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#95

I guess I didn't read enough about Long Island Iced Tea before I described its effect on Nikhil. I had read that it contains whisky, and one might feel a bit drunk after even a couple of sips, so I thought that Nikhil would have to take one big gulp to get drunk, his throat would be on fire, and he would immediately realize that it was alcoholic. Now I've read that it's a very pleasant drink and not obviously alcoholic until one finds that one can't walk a straight line, so I rewrote that paragraph in Chapter Fifteen. I have never had a Long Island Iced Tea myself, so anyone who has, please correct me if I still got it wrong.


Any suggestions for what should happen between Mandar and Farhad overnight at Dr. Ramya's house?

hapc thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#96

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour


"Āpakā bahana āpako nahī bolā to maiṃ kyā kiyā?" Raghav muttered, annoying Pallavi more; Raghav had a knack for adding insult to injury.

😆

Coming to the chapter, so it seems like Mandhaar is going to judge Farhad for helping Raghav with his illegal activities. I want him to stay firm and not give in so easily. Luck was on their side though, otherwise they would have to wait another time for the discussion. I hope that after they spend the night together.. Mandhaar opens up a bit more to the fact that he can't change his sexuality. Also this marriage is not fair to Pallavi.. she should know about Mandhaar being gay as soon as possible. Liked that we saw Siddhesh and Pavani and the conversation with Raghav was amazing. I hope that the two of them appear more and interact more with Raghav.

Edited by hapc - 2 years ago
1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#97

Chapter Sixteen


"Siddhesh Sawant!" Raghav shouted, and Damayanti jumped off his lap and ran to a corner of the den, where she turned and looked at him with worried eyes. "You egoistic middle-class nobody!" Noticing Damayanti's defensive stance, Raghav got up and walked over to her, and she dodged him.


"I'm not going to hurt you!" Raghav called out, exasperated. "I was coming over to comfort you, but you don't understand me. Just like your Amma, you're frightened by me, and you want to run to Mandar. Well, the door is closed. You have to learn to trust me in here, or you'll be miserable."


"Open the door first." The quiet voice was Raghav's own, but he turned around to make sure.


"Where have you been all day, Luṅgīvālā?" Raghav saw his alter ego sitting behind his desk, his face woebegone. "You look like your dog just died."


Damayanti growled at that remark, and Raghav realized that she was hiding behind the desk, maybe at Luṅgīvālā Raghav's feet.


"Open the door, Raghav Rao," Luṅgīvālā Raghav repeated. "You've made it through the day courageously. You made the right choice so many times. This one's easy."


Raghav opened the den door and stood back, expecting Damayanti to run out. She didn't.


"Now, sit cross-legged on the floor." Raghav did as Luṅgīvālā Raghav said, but Damayanti didn't come to him.


"Be patient," Luṅgīvālā Raghav advised. "She needs you to comfort her, just as much as you need to comfort her. Now that the door is open, she can trust you."


"I want my whisky," Raghav muttered. "I've waited for it all day."


"You were saying, about Siddhesh Dādā?" Luṅgīvālā Raghav reminded him.


"Siddhesh Sawant had the audacity to end a call with me. With Raghav Rao! I said that I would give whatever Pallavi wants from me, and he didn't even think about what I could do for her, or for him and Vahinī! 'We will always look after her. You take care of yourself,' he said! He meant that I'm on my own! I'm nobody to him, so he won't miss me! He ... he even said something about me in Marathi to my dog! He treats me like ..." Raghav got distracted when he felt Damayanti climbing into his lap.


"Like someone who intruded on the family where Pallavi didn't want him." Luṅgīvālā Raghav offered, as he sat down face-to-face with Raghav. Raghav recalled the first time he had seen Siddhesh, who had stood back while an indignant Pallavi told Raghav to leave Manasi's saṃgīta.


"He has forgotten that his own sister told him, I brought her safely home that night," Raghav retorted. "Maybe no one else, but Siddhesh Dādā should believe me when I say, I love Pallavi and I'm trying to change for her."


"Yes, Siddhesh Dādā heard what Pallavi said about you, but he also saw you shaking Vijay Deshmukh and shouting at him. Dādā and Vahinī both heard you accusing Pallavi of claiming an abortion to blackmail you. If a man spoke to Celli like that, if you thought he could be violent with her, would you forgive him?" Luṅgīvālā Raghav cupped Damayanti's face in both of his palms to reassure her, while Raghav stroked her back and haunches, trying not to be too forceful, although the thought of someone misbehaving with Kirti was unbearable.


"You thought, Siddhesh Dādā and Pavani Vahinī liked you, just because they smiled on video chat when Pallavi introduced you to them as her husband, and they asked you to take good care of her." Luṅgīvālā Raghav's tone was wistful; he was sorry he had known better. "What choice did they have? Pallavi was on her way to them, she was almost home, where she would have been safe from you, when you convinced her to give you thirty days in Mandar's name. Dādā and Vahinī had to act supportive, if they wanted Pallavi to ask them for help the next time you made her miserable."


"I thought, Siddhesh Dādā must be sincere, like Pallavi, because he raised her," Raghav said. "I thought he would give me a chance. Today, I found out that it's already game over for me. Celli hates me, Pallavi chose someone better, and I'm a danger to Damayanti. Nobody believes in me." Raghav lifted Damayanti off his lap and stood up.


"Tomorrow always means another chance." Luṅgīvālā Raghav took Damayanti into his lap, and Raghav turned around before he could reach the whisky. "And you are Raghav Rao. You create your own chances. Damayanti will learn to trust you because you accepted help from Mandar. You proved to Celli that you're willing to listen; someday, she won't think of anything hateful to say to you. And you fought the urge to get drunk, because you had to protect Pallavi from that recording. Believe in yourself. You've almost made it through the day. Don't get drunk now."


"How can someone so optimistic have such an inconsolable face?" Raghav wondered.


"I lost Pallavi today." Luṅgīvālā Raghav hugged Damayanti, and started to cry. "I love her, you know; she's my reason for living. I can't not think about her."


"Whisky helps," Raghav offered. "It'll warm us up; the memories won't hurt so bad, and then we'll stop thinking about what we can't have."


"No! I mean it literally," Luṅgīvālā Raghav sobbed, as Damayanti nuzzled his neck. "The way we think about Pallavi is why I exist in you. If you get so drunk that you forget about Pallavi, I won't be here until you sober up. We won't be able to cry as much as we have to, and we'll carry those tears over to tomorrow. How will that help?"


Jaya came into the den. "Raghav, it's time to give Damayanti her dinner and her insulin." She saw Raghav staring at the whisky, and said, "You inherited my taste for whisky. Shall we drink together sometime?"


"Amma?" Raghav knew that Amma and Nānna used to drink together, when they thought he was asleep like Kirti and Arjun, but he had never imagined himself drinking with Amma. His drinking habit had developed in the years after they parted ways, and although drunkenness had occasionally emboldened him to cry out to Amma, outside her house at night, he had never been bold enough when sober to get drunk while she was watching.


"Raghav, I am serious," Jaya smiled tenderly. "I wish you could enjoy drinking, the way I do. I used to drink with your Nānna when we were happy in each other's company, and it helped us to express our affection for each other. But I have never seen you happy or affectionate when you're drunk."


Raghav knew that what Amma said was true. "Amma, I drink because it helps me to deal with problems, like losing Pallavi today."


"I know," Jaya said. "Being drunk is your way of avoiding difficult decisions and blocking out painful memories. That is different from liking to drink as I do. When you are drunk, your pain doesn't go away; it comes out in hurtful words and actions that you can never take back, and you take stupid risks. You don't actually deal with your problems until you sober up, Raghav, and by then, it's often too late."


Raghav wanted to be drunk and let go of his guilt, but he remembered the anguish in Kirti's voice today, and her accusation that he could end someone's life when he was drunk, and not even know it. He could never take back what he had done to disappoint Celli, but if he didn't do it again, maybe someday she would believe in her Annayya. He had to try tonight, for Kirti's sake.


"Raghav, you may think that losing Pallavi is the end," Jaya said, "but remember, Satya-Nārāyaṇa gave us a sign today that your puṇya is for Pallavi's benefit and her puṇya is for your benefit. When you do what is right, Pallavi will be rewarded. So, promise me, Raghav, no more drinking for self-pity. From now on, you will drink only if you are able to enjoy it."


"All right, Amma." Raghav picked up Damayanti, and with Luṅgīvālā Raghav's hand on his shoulder, he followed Jaya downstairs.


At Farhad's parents' flat, Pallavi was helping Abbū with dinner while they waited for Ammī to return from teaching music lessons.


"Pallavi, beṭī, listen," Abbū said, "dinner is enjoyable when there are at least four people, right? It was better yesterday, when you and Farhad were with us, than the day before yesterday, for Rehana and me. When Farhad called to say that he's going to Vikarabad with Mandar, and they'll have dinner there, I thought, you may feel lonely. Would you like to ask a friend or two to join us, if they can?"


Pallavi thought about whom she could invite on short notice. Krishna was out of the question; Anuradha Aunty wouldn't allow her to eat with a Muslim family. Kirti? Pallavi wanted their friendship back, but Raghav was hurting, and he should have his sister with him tonight. Manasi? Pallavi remembered the warmth of Manasi's hug that morning, and missed talking to her, but with Mandar and Nikhil both out of town so soon after Mandar's return, dinner without Manasi too would be stressful for Āī, Bābā, and Kākā, and Amruta wouldn't like to be the only young person under their eyes. Whom else did Pallavi have in Hyderabad?


"Abbū, there's Akash, my friend Rashmi's brother. He came to meet me at the Satya-Nārāyaṇa pūjā this morning, but with so many people talking over each other, I couldn't inquire about him properly. Akash is on his own in Hyderabad, away from his family in Kolhapur, and I've never even invited him home for dinner."


"Call him right away," Abbū smiled. Soon, Ammī was home and they were having dinner with Akash.


"Akash, could you video call Rashmi for me?" Pallavi asked, seeing that the young man had almost eaten his fill. "I actually haven't talked to her since November of 2018. When Mandar went missing, I decided not to tell Rashmi right away; she was already grieving for Devayani. And by the time we found the body that was identified as Mandar, and I called Rashmi, she had changed her phone number. I should have asked you to put me in touch with Rashmi back in March, after we met at Manasi's sagāī, but with everything that happened next, I forgot. Why did Rashmi move to Bhopal? Did she find love again after Devayani?"


Akash nervously glanced at Ammī and Abbū, and didn't answer.


"Don't feel uncomfortable, beṭā," Ammī said. "We accept diversity; and by the way, our son Farhad is gay. Your sister Rashmi loved a girl named Devayani. What happened, my dear?"


"Devayani died in an accident," Pallavi said. "It was the week before my wedding to Mandar."


"Actually, Dīdī," Akash spoke up, "It wasn't an accident. Devayani was attacked by that Yuvaraj ... but she survived."


"Yuvaraj Holkar?" Pallavi exclaimed, and as Akash's last word sank in, "Devayani is alive? She was my best friend! Why didn't anyone tell me?"


"Devayani said, if Yuvaraj found out that she was alive, he would finish killing her," Akash explained, and turning to Abbū and Ammī, continued, "Yuvaraj had asked Rashmi to be his girlfriend, and she had said no. He must have found out somehow that she was in a relationship with Devayani . One night, he rear-ended Devayani 's scooter with his car, and left her lying on the road. Rashmi found her and took her to the hospital, and they decided to shift together to Bhopal, where Devayani 's mother's family lives."


"I was already in Hyderabad when Devayani's father gave me the news of her death in a road accident," Pallavi recalled. "I was supposed to be having fun with Mandar before the wedding, but instead, I was grieving and Dādā and Vahinī were always with us to comfort me. I wish someone had told me the truth!"


"Dīdī, you know that Devayani 's father wasn't supportive," Akash said. "He let her go out with you because your friendship wasn't romantic; you were engaged to Mandar. If he had known that you used to leave her alone with Rashmi , he would have forced her into conversion therapy for sure. Devayani 's father was away from Kolhapur when Yuvaraj attacked her, and when he managed to come home after a day or two, her mother told him that it was an accident and the body was already cremated. So, Bhargav Uncle thought he was telling you the truth. And everyone else wanted to let you get married in peace before telling you that Devayani had been attacked. Then you called Rashmi and left a message of condolences on her phone, and she asked our parents to wait until she and Devayani were safely in Bhopal before telling you what really happened. And then we found out that Yuvaraj might be in Hyderabad, so we didn't want him to discover, from you or from anyone in your family, that Devayani is alive."


Ammī's phone rang, and she turned on the speaker. "Farhad, beṭā, are you on your way home?" she asked.


"Why would Yuvaraj have been in Hyderabad?" Pallavi asked.


"Sorry, Ammī. Dr. Ramya, the lady who was like a mother to Mandar in Vikarabad, needs us to watch her house tonight," Farhad was saying. "We'll drive home tomorrow. Can you tell Pallavi Bhābhī? I mean, Pallavi ."


"She's right here, Farhad," Ammī said. "You can talk to her yourself, or give the phone to Mandar." And Ammī held her phone out in front of Pallavi.


"When Devayani told the police that Yuvaraj had been chasing her scooter before the collision, they questioned his parents and found out that he had gone to Hyderabad to meet someone named Ved Pillai," Akash was saying.


"Ved Pillai?" Farhad's voice came through the phone. "Who is this?"


"Farhad, this is Pallavi, and the voice you heard is our dinner guest, Akash Singh," Pallavi said. "You remember, Akash was sitting with Kirti and Amma at the pūjā this morning. Akash just told me that in the week before my wedding to Mandar, my best friend Devayani didn't die in an accident; she survived an attack by Yuvaraj Holkar, who then left Kolhapur for Hyderabad to meet Ved Pillai. Akash, you may not know, but right after Mandar was struck by Sunny Ahuja's car, Ved arrived there and saw Raghav taking Mandar to the hospital. Ved had escaped from prison, where he was serving a sentence for smuggling drugs."


"Rashmi told me that Yuvaraj Holkar was rumoured to deal drugs," Akash said. "So, if he came to Hyderabad to meet Ved Pillai, it could mean that he was an accomplice in Ved's escape from prison. In Kolhapur, the police kept us informed that Ved had been caught and returned to prison, but they hadn't caught Yuvaraj. So, shortly after your wedding, I shifted to Hyderabad to try to find Yuvaraj myself."


"Did you ever find him?" Pallavi asked. "The police never came to ask me if Yuvaraj Holkar had contacted me. So, I went on thinking that Devayani died in an accident."


"Crimes against lesbian women and other sexual and gender minorities are often let go by police," Abbū commented. "That's why we need federal law to define hate crimes, so that resources from higher levels of law enforcement can be brought to the local level for victims who are routinely denied justice."


"No, Dīdī. I asked at parties where I worked as an electrician, especially if I suspected that drugs were being used. Nobody recognized Yuvaraj's photo. I thought my parents would have told you that Devayani survived, and if Yuvaraj got in touch with you, you would call the police. We didn't know each other well in Kolhapur, so I didn't try to find you myself," Akash admitted.


"Pallavi , I am happy that your best friend is alive," Farhad said. "Mandar and Nikhil and I are still in Vikarabad. Mandar's Amma, Dr. Ramya, needs us to watch her house tonight while she is working in the emergency room. So, we will be back in Hyderabad tomorrow morning."


"All right, Farhad, take care, and please tell Mandar I will call him later tonight, after I catch up with my friends Devayani and Rashmi." Pallavi ended the call.


Mandar had pulled out some shirts and shorts from his baggage, and shared them with Nikhil and Farhad as sleepwear for the night. Nikhil had gone to sleep right away, on the living room couch downstairs, while it was decided that Farhad would take the guest room and Mandar would take Dr. Ramya's bedroom. Now, Farhad stood by the front-facing window, enjoying the slight breeze that rustled the curtains as he twisted from side to side, stretching his arms and legs. Behind him, Mandar emerged from the bathroom, having brushed his teeth and changed. The sight of his own clothes on Farhad gave Mandar an unfamiliar feeling: comfort and warmth, sharing himself with someone who understood him, a sense of being claimed and belonging - it felt right, this familiarity.


"I called my Ammī and spoke to Pallavi ," Farhad said. "She just found out that her best friend Devayani didn't die. So, she is going to talk to her friends Devayani and Rashmi, and then call you."


Mandar remembered how Devayani's death had affected Pallavi before their wedding. He shuddered. "Thank you, Bāppā! Pallavi suffered needlessly when she heard that Devayani died, but at least she knows the truth now."


"I'm glad you said that, Mandar." Farhad knew that he couldn't avoid the subject anymore. "Pallavi is important to me. I don't want her to suffer needlessly, which will happen if you aren't honest with her about what you feel and don't feel. She deserves to know the truth, right?"


Mandar trembled. "Be faithful to Pallavi" - that was what he had told himself for years in conversion therapy. Now that Pallavi was a real person to him again, how could he be faithful to her if he was lying about his desires? But he wasn't going to act on those desires, so it would hurt Pallavi needlessly if he told her. He couldn't think straight, not with Farhad standing so close to him, wearing his clothes and giving him that tingling feeling.


"I can't talk to you right now, Farhad," Mandar blurted out. "Today my little brother told me that he did smuggling work for Raghav and went to jail. And you're Raghav's accomplice. I'm not in a good mood, so let's just go to sleep."


"All right, Mandar. Let me just say that I care about you too. I want you to be proud of your life. I've known Pallavi for months, and you for only three days, but you are very special. Good night, Mandar."


"Good night, Farhad."


Mandar waited for Pallavi's phone call, which came more than an hour later. He spoke to her only briefly because it was so late, and then slept, but the tingling feeling had possessed him.


Mandar dreamed of Farhad in his borrowed shirt and shorts ... the look in Farhad's shining, confident eyes as he said, "You are very special" in his soft voice ... the touch of Farhad's hands on his skin, Farhad's arms on his shoulders, Farhad's hands moving on his back ... that smile, knowing that he could make Farhad smile like that ... feeling safe and embraced ... how could they be this close? It wasn't real, but Mandar wanted it to be real!


Awareness of what his body had just done to him brought Mandar out of his dream. He had lost control; this was shameful; he had to clean himself right away! Mandar put both feet on the floor and stood up, still half-asleep, and stretching both hands in front, felt his way through the dark room and corridor to the bathroom door, and pushed his way in.


The lights were on, and Mandar blinked, trying to understand. In front of him was Farhad, who had just cleaned himself and was washing his underwear, while Mandar's borrowed shorts dangled from a hook on the wall. Farhad stood, surprised and exposed, to face Mandar.


"You had the dream too?" Mandar thought out loud, and stared, not quite awake.


"Sorry, the bolt squeaks, and I didn't want to wake you up," Farhad began, and then realized what Mandar had said. Despite the moral tension between them, it was Allāh's will that they were talking now, and Farhad might never speak from his heart otherwise.


"Yes, I dreamed of you, Mandar," Farhad said. "Maybe wearing your clothes ensured that this happened tonight, but it was going to happen sooner or later because I like you, Mandar. And I'm not surprised that you had the same experience tonight, because it was obvious this morning that you like me too."


Mandar, listening to Farhad and unable to deny the truth, knew that he was awake now, but it felt surreal to be standing like this, with his private thoughts just betrayed upon his body, in front of Farhad, who was wearing his shirt and nothing below it, and not to feel the shame that he was supposed to feel.


"What is it, Mandar?"


"I thought all Muslim men were ..." Mandar hesitated.


Farhad laughed. "My Ammī and Abbū did their research and decided that it wouldn't be good for me."


Mandar blushed. What had happened to him? Why was he asking such personal questions? When had his shame turned into excitement?


Chapter One on page 1

Chapter Two on page 2

Chapter Three on page 2

Chapter Four on page 3

Chapter Five on page 4

Chapter Six on page 4

Chapter Seven on page 5

Chapter Eight on page 5

Chapter Nine on page 7

Chapter Ten on page 7

Chapter Eleven on page 8

Chapter Twelve on page 8

Chapter Thirteen on page 8

Chapter Fourteen on page 9

Chapter Fifteen on page 10

Chapter Seventeen on page 11

Chapter Eighteen on page 11

Chapter Nineteen on page 11

Chapter Twenty on page 11

Chapter Twenty-One on page 11

Chapter Twenty-Two on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Three on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Four on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Five on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Six on page 13

Chapter Twenty-Seven on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Eight on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Nine on page 14

Chapter Thirty on page 14

Chapter Thirty-One on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Two on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Three on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Four on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Five on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Six on page 15

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 9 months ago
Avneel07 thumbnail
Anniversary 6 Thumbnail Group Promotion 3 Thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#98

Wonderful chapter. Totally in love with this story n ur writing.

1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#99

Thank you for the comments, hapc and Avneel07, and everyone for the reactions. I've slowed down with this story, I know.


I took some time to refresh my memory of episodes that influenced my ideas. Now I've almost finished writing Chapter Seventeen. I'm also trying to organize my plot points for what will follow. I have some detailed ideas for later on, and not so clear ideas for right away. Some parts of the plot have to unfold over several fictional days, so I have to set aside time for the characters to make a little progress every day.


Anyone who is reading this story, please do let me know what you think, even if it's on earlier chapters. Criticism helps. Did I go too far by making Luṅgīvālā Raghav emotional, while Raghav gave him advice for a change? Does my Devayani surprise give you new ideas about how Pallavi will react to Mandar's truth? Or, is it too farfetched that Pallavi's first husband and her best friend both died within a week and turned up alive within three days?

1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago

Chapter Seventeen


Farhad was standing just inside the guest room doorway when Mandar opened the bathroom door. "Could we talk now, Mandar?" Mandar nodded, and silently followed Farhad into the guest room.


The drops of water lingering on Mandar's face, which had felt so cool a moment ago, were warm already. His body was tingling again as Farhad turned to face him.


Conversion therapy with Amma had taught Mandar not to put himself in any such situation. Men whose mutual attraction was known were forbidden to have any contact with each other; they were even assigned to different therapists. Any conversation with a proudly homosexual man like Farhad was to be avoided, and to talk about their attraction, alone, next to a bed - well, that was just asking for trouble! Temptation - that was the word for it, but what Mandar was feeling was determination. He wouldn't let this opportunity go!


Farhad motioned to Mandar to sit on the bed, facing him, and Mandar sat. Mandar could have remembered his assertiveness training if he wanted to, but he didn't want to. Looking into Farhad's earnest eyes, Mandar wanted to let him have whatever he wanted, and the shame of being called passive wouldn't stop him. He was blushing again.


Mandar took a deep breath, and vaguely remembered the delicate, flowery perfumes that were used in conversion therapy to condition men like him to feel arousal only with a feminine presence. There were no scents in the air now, but his body wasn't waiting. Would tonight be his night? Would Farhad just sit there, or ... ?


"Mandar, I couldn't go back to sleep without asking you, is there a chance for us?" Farhad asked in a low voice.


Mandar nodded and quickly said the word. "Yes." He knew that there was no chance; he was a married man, a responsible big brother, an obedient son; but in this moment, his life depended on believing that there was a chance.


Farhad grinned at Mandar's assent. "I know you don't approve of my work for Raghav Anna, but nobody's faultless, right? If you could lean on me, would you stand strong for who you really are?"


Mandar tried to answer, but he didn't know what he could say. Could he stand alone, without his family, without Amma or Vishnu, with only his attraction to Farhad? What would happen to Pallavi if he said yes?


Farhad looked expectantly at Mandar for a moment, then lowered his eyes. "You don't have to answer that right now. I know, you're not ready to face the world as a gay man. At least you're thinking about it."


Mandar let out a sigh. Farhad was sitting next to him, so close, and making no move to touch him. Mandar hadn't been faithful to Pallavi; he had said yes to the idea of another "us," and for what? Nothing was going to happen between him and Farhad right away, not even a hug - no, not even a handshake! Mandar felt foolish and adrift. Would he have to throw away his life just for an elusive moment of belonging to Farhad, belonging to himself? Was this the despair that had driven Amma's patient to try to hurt himself?


Seeing Mandar's disturbed expression, Farhad put his hand on Mandar's hand. "What are you thinking now, mere pyāre Mandar?"


"Amma's patient - the one who tried to hurt himself today," Mandar began, his loneliness ebbing into the warmth of Farhad's hand.


"Dr. Ramya didn't tell us his name. Do you think it's someone you know?" Farhad asked.


"I probably met him in a group session," Mandar admitted. "I was thinking, what made him give up? Did he give in to temptation and feel guilty? Or, was he frustrated because therapy didn't give him results right away? Maybe it was just the thought of losing everyone in his life if he went astray."


"I don't know, Mandar, but conversion therapy has that effect on a lot of people. Not just because all of that guilt-filled, frustrating, and isolating talk creates trauma. If this patient was given electric shocks so that he would associate homoerotic images with pain, that would have traumatized him even more."


"Amma would never do that to anyone!" Mandar exclaimed. "She refuses to try electric shocks, ice baths, emetics, or fasting because she doesn't want to hurt her patients, ever! And she doesn't want us to become reliant on medication instead of will-power. That's probably why this patient's family thinks Amma didn't try hard enough to cure him."


Farhad's hand reached under Mandar's hand and their fingers curled around each other. "Mandar, I feel relieved that you didn't go through any of that, but Dr. Ramya's patient still tried to hurt himself! Tell me. What happened to you in conversion therapy?"


Mandar held on to Farhad's fingers as he answered. "Mostly, we were taught behaviour modification. How to be more assertive and physical, less emotional or passive, and avoid temptation. Vishnu is my sponsor, and we talk one-on-one about my progress. Amma's patients meet as a group to talk about what went wrong in our childhood, such as abusive or weak male influences or having too many female role models or friends. We were exposed to perfumes so that we would overcome our aversion to women, and stop trying to be like them. Vishnu thought that Pallavi was just a name in my mind, so he wanted to pair me with a woman from the program, but I refused."


Farhad shook his head. "You tried so hard to find something wrong with you, but being gay is your nature, just what it should be. You were yourself in your dream tonight." With his one hand still curled around Mandar's hand, Farhad put his other hand under Mandar's chin, firmly, and looked into his eyes seriously. "Mandar, now that you remember who you are, and how many people love you, please don't try to change!"


Mandar thought Farhad might kiss him next, and began to lean in, but Farhad dropped his hand and pulled back. Unwilling to give up his touch, Mandar circled Farhad's waist with both arms, and laid his head on Farhad's shoulder. "If they knew how I really am, they would wish I hadn't come back!"


"Doesn't your Bābā already know? You said that he gave you the message when Vedant called to blackmail you. He obviously still loves you." Farhad's one hand stroked Mandar's hair, while the other squeezed his shoulder.


"Bābā actually found out when I was in business school. I brought home a pamphlet from Breaking Barriers, a student support group, and Bābā found it. I admitted that I felt attraction to men. Bābā said that if I joined that group, people would misunderstand my curiosity, it would hurt Āī, and I could never take it back. So, I never joined, and Bābā and I pretended that there was nothing else to say." As Mandar spoke, he realized that for the first time, this memory didn't embarrass him, because he had Farhad in his arms, and Farhad didn't think Mandar had done anything wrong. No longer overpowered by his fear of being exposed, Mandar felt regret; if he had joined the group years ago, would Āī and Bābā have accepted him in time? Would he have been fulfilled, not frustrated, today?


"So, your Bābā knew, but he was in denial of your truth," Farhad remarked. "Did he order you to marry Pallavi ?"


"No, it was my Ājī's wish that I should marry a girl from Kolhapur," Mandar recalled. "When I graduated, my Māmā asked me to join the matrimonial website. I couldn't tell him that I'm gay, so I said I wasn't ready. After a couple of years, I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. People would start to talk about me. So, I created my profile, Siddhesh Dādā reached out to me, and I proposed to Pallavi."


"Why were you so sure you couldn't tell your Māmā that you're gay? Your Āī would have stood by you, the way she stands by Pallavi , right? Then why worry about her brother's reaction?" Farhad's opinion of Sharada Deshmukh was based more on her observant silence than anything that she had said. He knew that she wasn't easily shocked; even after Raghav Anna's own scandals and his public humiliation of Amruta and Pallavi and Nikhil, Sharada had allowed him to prove his commitment to Pallavi and his goodwill to her family. And Raghav Rao, who prided himself on being above the law, had felt comfortable touching Sharada 's feet that morning. Surely Sharada wouldn't be less understanding of her own son!


"Āī had her heart set on my marriage." Mandar's deep voice sounded musical as he shared his memories with Farhad. "I remember how she looked forward to Sulochana Kākū joining the family, but they never became friends. Āī looks after the whole family, but Kākā is the only one who notices her loneliness. For twenty years, Āī was Sulochana Kākū's main target, and there was no one to share Āī's responsibilities as lady of the house. So, from time to time, Āī would tell me, when you get married, I will pass this heirloom on to your wife, I will dress her up for that festival, you will take both of us sightseeing, and so on. When I told Māmā I wasn't ready to get married, Āī asked me, is there any other reason? She looked so serious, I just smiled and said no. I knew that if I said I'm gay, it would be the worst disappointment of Āī's life. If I told Māmā, then Māmī and Ājī would find out. I didn't want to spoil Ājī's old age with the news that I wasn't going to get married or give her any great-grandchildren. Āī was so happy when I created my profile, and delighted when Pallavi accepted me, and at the wedding, she was just overjoyed! These past three days, I've seen the closeness between Āī and Pallavi. The best thing I ever did for Āī was to bring Pallavi into her life."


"They're both lucky to have each other," Farhad agreed. "You know, Pallavi doesn't have to be married to you to be part of your family. While you were gone, she was your Āī-Bābā's daughter. She will always be that, even if you move on with me."


"It isn't like that anymore," Mandar argued, lifting his head from Farhad's shoulder. "Raghav's lies broke the bond between Bābā and Pallavi, and they didn't reconcile until I came home. Raghav forced Pallavi to marry him, and my return gave her a chance to leave him. Pallavi wants to come home to her rightful and respectable place, as my wife. I have to stay married to her."


Farhad removed Mandar's arms from his waist and pushed him away gently. "Do you remember what you said in the car about Jaya Amma, Raghav Anna's mother? Well, you are making the same mistakes that she made."


Mandar felt offended. Jaya Rao had instigated her Rākṣasa son to force Pallavi into marriage, as if that was compensation for criminal harassment. Mandar was helping Pallavi to escape that humiliation. "How can you say that to me, Farhad?"


"Think about the similarities," Farhad replied. "You feel obligated to rescue Pallavi from the mess that Raghav Anna made in her life. So did Jaya Amma. She didn't ask Pallavi if she would accept marriage to Raghav Anna as an apology. Do you think that Pallavi would have chosen you if she knew that you're gay? Society tells you and me that being openly gay isn't respectable, just as it convinced Jaya Amma that casual sex is a woman's scandal and it becomes legitimate when the man marries her. Shouldn't we all reject these warped ideas of respectability? If men and women are equal, then Pallavi shouldn't need you or Raghav Anna to be her patron. You know that Pallavi would rather have lived as an outcast, but not compromised her self-respect. Won't you claim your own self-respect, Mandar?"


Mandar looked away. He wanted to be close to Farhad, but he couldn't face his gentle, warm brown eyes, if it meant having to choose right now, a choice that would expose him to the world's finger-pointing.


"I'm sorry, I just asked you the same question that, a few minutes ago, I said you didn't have to answer right away. I'm sorry," Farhad said. "I really wanted to hear your story, not tell you what to do."


"I didn't get around to telling you how Bābā reacted to Ved Pillai blackmailing me," Mandar laughed nervously. "When he put down the phone, he was furious, trembling and red in the face."


"Did he slap you, Mandar?" Farhad blurted out, remembering his own experience with Vijay Deshmukh's blind fury.


"Bābā would never hit anybody!" Mandar answered emphatically. "He wasn't angry at me, anyway; he was feeling outraged because someone had accused one of his children of immorality. Bābā told me that the caller thought he was speaking to me, his name was Ved Pillai, and unless I brought him Rs. 50,000 in cash right away, at the Hotel Crosto on Outer Ring Road, he would tell my bride that I'm gay. I thought my life was over when I heard those words. If Pallavi found out my secret, she wouldn't give me a chance to be a good man, and my family would be ashamed of me. But then Bābā told me, you are blameless, never forget that, and I realized that Ved had no proof. How could anyone know my thoughts, if I never acted on them? I should insist that I was straight - that was the only way out. So, I followed Bābā's advice to stand up to this bully and then start married life. I called the police and informed them about the extortion attempt, and where I was going to meet Ved, and then I told Pallavi that I had to go out on an errand, but I would come back soon."


Farhad took both of Mandar's hands in his. "So, now you're back, and Ved is out of prison again. You've tried conversion therapy, and it didn't work. As long as everyone who knows your secret says nothing, you have a chance to be the one who tells Pallavi and your family. It won't be easy, but you don't have to do it alone. I'm with you, and you can count on my Ammī-Abbū too. So, don't worry. We should get some sleep now, so that we can drive back to Hyderabad in the morning."


"Are you really with me, Farhad?" Mandar asked, wanting to put his arms around this caring man again.


Farhad cupped Mandar's cheek. "I'm your friend, Mandar. I want to be more, but not while you're deceiving Pallavi . I won't be your guilty secret. I may not be an honourable man in your eyes, but I have my self-respect anyway."


"My Āī-Bābā aren't like your Ammī-Abbū, Farhad. Please understand."


"I do understand, Mandar. Your Āī-Bābā believe in your moral character and inherent honesty. They're protective of all their children, like all good parents. I've tasted your Bābā's slap, just like Raghav Anna, because your Bābā wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking disrespectfully about Pallavi . Your Āī-Bābā would take your side against the whole world, and so would your Kākā. If you're not ready to tell them yet, that's fine. It's more important that Pallavi deserves to know."


Mandar was shocked. "Why would Bābā slap you? Did you ever insult Pallavi?"


"It was a misunderstanding, and I'll tell you the story tomorrow. If I have to be patient, so must you," Farhad joked.


Mandar sat still, unwilling to leave the man who had been in his dream, until Farhad spoke again.


"I want you for myself, Mandar, when you're ready to be mine. So, your bed tonight is in Dr. Ramya's bedroom. Good night."


"Good night again, Farhad."


Mandar and Farhad both slept peacefully, having spoken the feelings that had given them dreams earlier in the night. Meanwhile, at Farhad's parents' flat, Pallavi had gone to sleep in Farhad's room, allowing Gulshan to return to his customary place next to Rehana.


In Pallavi's dreams, she relived her early days in the Deshmukh house. Manasi was posing her in the garden behind the house, to demonstrate every step in the composting process, from kitchen scraps to soil, as a project for her college photography class. Provoked by their laughter, Amruta was kicking soil onto the plants because she was miserable; Pallavi knew that Amruta missed Mandar.


"Amruta, malā āṭhavate kī Mandar-āṃnā āmbyāçā rasa khūpa āvaḍāyaçā." Amruta, I remember that Mandar liked mango juice a lot. "Barobara?" Correct? Amruta had a defiant expression on her face, but she was nodding. "Āza to banavāyaçā āhe, tyāta malā tujhī madata lāgela." I want to prepare it today, and for that I'll need your help. "Tū malā tyāñcī ekhādī goṣṭa sāṅga, āṇi āpaṇa ekatra āmbyācyā rasāta dūdha, veladoḍyācī pūḍa, āṇi keśara ghālū." You tell me a story about him, and together we'll add milk, cardamom powder, and saffron to the mango juice. "Tyāṃnī tulā kadhī citrapaṭa pahāyalā nele hote kā?" Had he ever taken you to see a movie?


Bābā's voice rang out in Pallavi's dream now. "Pallavi, āza dukānāta lavakara zāūyā." Pallavi, today let's go to the shop early. "Girhāīkāṃnī tulā viṇakāmābaddala praśna vicārale tara tū kāya sāṅgaśīla, tyācī thoḍakyāta parīkṣā gheūyā." If customers asked you questions about weaving techniques, what would you say? Let's do a quick test of that.


Pallavi dreamed of trying to video chat with Siddhesh Dādā and Pavani Vahinī, but Sulochana Kākū kept interrupting her, not because she was in such a hurry for a cup of tea or the gas cylinder had actually run out, but just to make them think that Pallavi was being mistreated. Dādā and Vahinī were asking Pallavi to visit them, and she knew that they meant a neverending visit, so that she wouldn't ever have to live with Sulochana Kākū. But Pallavi knew that her taking Mandar's place was the reason that Āī and Bābā were making it through each day without despairing.


Now Pallavi's dream was of dyeing sarees in the garden, while Milind Kākā entertained her with impressions of everyone at his workplace. Manasi was taking photographs again. Nikhil was asking if there was any civaḍā left; he was hungry for a snack! And he was showing them his Photogram page on his phone, reading the comments and telling them how many people were interested.


"Sakāḷa zhālī, Pallu, ūṭha āṇi malā ekhādā nāça dākhava." It's morning, Pallu, get up and show me a dance. Āī's voice in her dream made Pallavi smile, visualizing her Kathak practice in the courtyard. She would be twirling around, engrossed in her hand movements and rhythmic footwork, and suddenly notice Āī trying to copy her. Āī would laugh and hide when she got caught.


Pallavi was starting to wake up, and she didn't want her dreams to end, forcing her to leave the Deshmukh house. Amma would want her company while she drank her tea, and would the servants have Kirti's tiffin ready in time? Raghav had been unhappy about something last night, she recalled, but what was it? She felt that Raghav wasn't there on his side of the bed. Of course he wasn't, Pallavi realized with a jolt. She didn't live with Amma and Kirti anymore, and she hadn't spoken to Raghav last night; she had only overheard him pleading with Dādā and Vahinī to keep him in her life. When Pallavi would return to the Deshmukh house for real, it would be different from her dreams; Mandar would be there too.


Pallavi was at Farhad's parents' flat, and she had woken up with plenty of time for her Kathak practice. Mandar and Nikhil were still in Vikarabad, so she needed to open the shop with Krishna this morning. Pallavi got out of bed.


The night was over. Raghav awoke when Damayanti got up from his side. He realized that he hadn't gotten drunk last night. He didn't want to face this day, the first day of his life without Pallavi, but Damayanti needed a walk, and Raghav's head was clear.


Chapter One on page 1

Chapter Two on page 2

Chapter Three on page 2

Chapter Four on page 3

Chapter Five on page 4

Chapter Six on page 4

Chapter Seven on page 5

Chapter Eight on page 5

Chapter Nine on page 7

Chapter Ten on page 7

Chapter Eleven on page 8

Chapter Twelve on page 8

Chapter Thirteen on page 8

Chapter Fourteen on page 9

Chapter Fifteen on page 10

Chapter Sixteen on page 10

Chapter Eighteen on page 11

Chapter Nineteen on page 11

Chapter Twenty on page 11

Chapter Twenty-One on page 11

Chapter Twenty-Two on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Three on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Four on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Five on page 12

Chapter Twenty-Six on page 13

Chapter Twenty-Seven on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Eight on page 14

Chapter Twenty-Nine on page 14

Chapter Thirty on page 14

Chapter Thirty-One on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Two on page 14

Chapter Thirty-Three on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Four on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Five on page 15

Chapter Thirty-Six on page 15

Edited by BrhannadaArmour - 9 months ago
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