THE SKT Replies # 1
From Siddharth Kumar Tewary
C/o Colors TV
To Mahakali
C/o Her, Herself, and No one else
Pranipath Jyesthshri Mahakali,
I will be honest, and say that I was fairly surprised that you decided to embark on writing to me versus appearing before me, because in person communication is much quicker and more receptive. With letters, I feel a bit queasy because of all the hate I usually get from the creative liberties I take. Yes, liberties ... these are God given, that's right honey, your Mahadev sanctioned this law; and as such I think that taking full use of it is the best way to show my dedication and fear of God.
That being said, I still am honored that you took the time to write something to me. Let me respond to each on of your qualms one by one:
You said: "Mahadev is quite enjoying the show."
Dear Mahadev Prabhu, please accept my humble pranipranams. Devon ke Dev Mahadev ki jai ho, ki jai ho, ki jai ho. You have given me the inspiration to create this show Mahadevji, and by reading that you are enjoying this show, it fills me with even more strength to walk this tight rope.
You said: "he's thoroughly relishing this new image of himself as the cosmic director of even the primordial goddess."
Mahakali Madam, I do not see this appear anywhere throughout the serial. Also, I think we can both agree that your original, Srimanth Parvati Yuvrani, is half of HIS supreme self. Thus, is he directing you or are you directing yourself through him? This is all ParvatiJi's leelas with Mahadev, who are we to question this paradox? It is best to live and let live.
You said, " (blush) I (end blush)."
I mean no disrespect, but can you send a picture with you blushing. I've never heard of you blushing, so it's a bit intriguing. I would like to incorporate this into my serial. My vision is this: You are fighting some ugly rakshasas, maybe Shumbh, and Shumbh flirts with you, and so you stop, blush because you are thinking of Mahadev, and then Mahadev appears and then you and him exchange a couple dozen eyelocks, mixed with the eloquent background music of duh-duh-duhduh, duh-duh-duhduh. And then Mahadev disappears and in rage, you kill Shumbh. I think that would make a fabulous hit among our viewers, yes, our viewers.
Regarding your comments on Mahadev growing hair, tell him I think it's a fabulous idea. I am particularly fascinated by hairy guys and if he could share some tips with me, I would appreciate it as well. Lord knows that I'm thinning you know where and also there, and I hear the ladies prefer the bushiness of the man cave.
Also Ganga into seven streams is a fantastic idea. That way, we can send our Maiya Ganga to each of the seven continents so we can purify everyone now. I can even make a serial about this - Sapth Saiya Ganga Ki Baiyyan. My goodness, Mateshwari, you are just chock full of ideas. I would like to propose you joining my team of writers as an adviser. We can certainly make this show reach levels never seen before.
In your PS, you mentioned: "You could give Parvati some footwear when walking on snow. We had them, even in the ancient days."
Footwear is a nice idea, but our budget is actually stretched already. If it helps, we could do some CGI (that's computer generated imagery, in case you didn't know) shoes. Or perhaps you can shower us with some mercy by talking to your Lakshmi BhabhiJi to have her sprinkle some of her good fortune on us. It'll help improve the show's quality ninety-nine point nine-nine fold.
If I have offended your godly self, please excuse this thinking of me as a bhakt of your Parmeshwar Pati, and your Jyesth BrathaShri.
Also remember that today is Friday, which means ... ((DRUMROLL)) Kaalon Ke Kaal, Kal Kaali Ko Dekhiye Anth kaise Aarambh Karti Hai, Sirf aur Sirf, Colors TV Pe - MahaKali, Anth Hi Aarambh Hai.
With the touch of fallen grace,
Siddharth K. Tewary
P.S. While I adore Pooja Sharma, if only you had sent me a message earlier. It would have been an honor to cast you playing yourself and your forms. In any case, how would you like to join the team (if you reject my writing adviser position above) and play the role of Sati's Mom? You would be fabulous.
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