Bed tea, W*H??? - Page 3

Originally posted by: akash08

Please do not evaluate others by comapring them with you. Their family was not even both working family..why compare mango with apples and come with a logic?I have seen my father going to buy grocceries every day (there was no mall, no big bazzar and no freeze) and my mother cooking everyday and the exception was only when someone was not well or when we ate outside.. neithr them or neither me or my sister ever felt they are servant or maids and this is the reality of 90% of India. Remember the both working, mall shopping is a handful minority and they do not define what India and its culture is..

Agreed with your views about rural India that can not compared with developed countries. But that doesn't either mean that work division that we have in place there makes sense ? Even though work allocation is equal between spouses, the male member always dominates female, accept it or not ! Now a hasbund may get angry if a wife delays giving bed tea or does not give him tea at all .....but do you think wives will do the same if a man fails to do grocery ? Didn't you see that Nigam family where guys wanted his tea/garam fulkas in 3 min or so ...what was that ? 😕 And where is the queston of comparing mangoes with apples ? We are simply sampling out those who fit under this topic. This topic has nothing to do with malls or infrastructure developement that india has seen. Its mere matter of treating your other half with equal respect. I don't see anything wrong in wives making bed tea but husbands should not order it like he is in a restaurant. I've been in rural india too and i love those place 😛 .😳

It is not difficult to know someone 's age in this virtual world specially of someone whose biodata is available to almost everyone .. u naturally come across a mutual friend. You have your definition of young good enough.. I am simply stating that somone who has just crossed his teen may be a couple of years ago, should refrain himself from commenting on marriage life and husband wife realtions. At this age someone can only say crap on this topic .. none can stop anyone from commenting on everyhting and anything.. but neither I can resist from pointing that out..

First of all you are discouraging all younger members on this forum by relating this with age. You should not make such statements as all opinions should be welcome. These are very basic rules of any group conversations as far as i know.

If we have a mutual friends then we can be friends naa ? 🤗 what say ?? 😳 First of all you should not JUDGE someone based on hearsay. You could have simply asked me my age /personal info rather than believing so called mutual friend naa ? and whats up with my age ? Even if you turn out to be 5 yr old akashbaby or 90 yr akashbaba ...I will never judge your posts by your age . Someone being married doesn't necessarily mean that he can make meaningful posts about it all the time. Never approach something with preconceived notions. See I may be younger but I at least have some advice for you ...lol ...j/k 😆

Chal now take it easy .......A mutual friend that you are talking about must be someone who dislikes me to the core. Otherwise you won't approach me like this 😃

About the highlighted statement, just evalutate your own opinions again. So with your own logic did you say only crap when you were my age ? 😕 If you are truely matured old person, then why are you making personal comments on me ? I've been lucky to be in the company of many intelligent person in life and none of them have ever made comments like "grow up" and all.

So chillax akash ....let me send you some flowers 😛 Please do tell our mutual friend that i do love him / her .Also convey that one doesn't make topics to instigate others and /or when forum is dull. 😉

Please do keep posting here ....and don't waste time judging virtual ids by their age. An opinion only shows mental age and not biological age 😛

Originally posted by: akash08

Word Count: 0

Originally posted by: pratts

Originally posted by: .Arjun

• Women are Better Debaters than Men
• Some taks are difficult for Female
• The one here

Agreed, we should always promote gender equity and gender bias/exploitation is alarmingly high in India but let us not in the name of gender equity, promote reverse gender bias.

Originally posted by: akash08

dear friend Pratts,

I must say your apartment is not India and I must restate it is not mate.. You need to know that country you live in much bigger than your mini apartment.

As per 2009 stats, WPR (worker population ratio) for male in both rural and urban India was 55%.

For female WPR is 14% in urban area and 29% in rural India.

So, unless most of the marriage in India is same sex marriage or in one year India completely changed it self, there is no way we can have working couples in most family.

Let us speak stats and not from emotion.

@Akash
When I was a kid, even my mom was not working. she was and she is a homemaker. But I have always seen people around me loving, caring and considerate for their wives And don't talk about 30 years back when we are discussing current topic. Just underlining the statements or writing in bold can never help you to people agree to you. we are nott talking here about ppl in rural areas. We are talking about Sujit and Antima and I didnt find any of them illiterate. And they r living in Mumbai. Although she has dreams like big home, big car, it means she has some dreams for herself but not able to fulfill. And yes, its difficult to survive in metros with 2 kids with just one person's income. But why couldn't she ever tried to find a job? Its all about how much you believe in yourself. And you know, if someone keeps on controlling you for years, your self esteem keeps on diminishing. In this case, the controlling part is Sujit, who thinks wife is only for doing household tasks. Can u imagine he doesnt go out even to a beach with his family. what does this mentality show.
The point only is that both the partners have to share responsibilities at home, outside, socially, everywhere. And thatis good for emotional health.
Zehra instructed sujit to do all the tasks himself because she felt pissed off with his controlling, ignorant n dominating behaviour towards his wife.
And lastly, dont speak words like mini, micro or major. when did pratts tell you that her apartment is mini? you are behaving mostly like a selective listener. Can you compare different states of india? Suppose if one state is smaller than the other, would you say its mini so can never represent India? A state is called successful not by measuring geographical boundaries but by the success and mentality of ppl who live there and the person who leads them.

And btw, India is developing not because ppl r not coming from developed countries but bcz Indians are taking steps further to help the country grow.

Originally posted by: akash08

Arjun,

This is my coluding comment on this. I have nothing personal against you but I have against any post which is geneder biased and that is the reason I sometimes comment on your posts against my choice. Some of these posts are:

• Women are Better Debaters than Men
• Some taks are difficult for Female
• The one here

Agreed, we should always promote gender equity and gender bias/exploitation is alarmingly high in India but let us not in the name of gender equity, promote reverse gender bias.

Let us not forget the context Sujit made the remarks. Zehra was telling her: you will clean utensils, you will wash clothes, you will cook, you will teach kids.. Why none asks then what she sould do? Why do we always shout when a woman is at receiving end and not the other way round? gender bias in any form must be codemned equally.

Being in IF where number of female memebers outnumber male by huge %, your such extreme view would naturally be applauded and will make you popular.

However, there is always a world outside which calss a spade a spade.. and take my post from one such person.. and you have seen there are number of such people who objected to your post after that BB post of you.

As per friendship - Do not know, But there is no enemity either,.I have a strong view on reverse gender bias and so any post of such nature, I would comment. Beyond that I have nothing aginst you or your posts..

@ Akasha

Thanx. Let me also conclude on a friendly note by clearing any possible misunderstandings.

You have been changing your stand in every post. First you blamed me for my preaching, then mentioned about mutual friend and then you said my posts are crap coz i am younger to you. Now all of a sudden you are accusing me of reverse gender bias.Idk what the root cause of the your frustration against me ! 😕

Here are link to those posts you mentioned. I had specifically put disclaimer that this wasn't gender biased and not sure who was offended. With my goldfish memory, I still remember that you had attacked me personally in BB forum by calling names like forum baba (even before i made gender related posts). I never saw you writing in any of my topics so don't know what are your views. If you had problems, you could have mentioned in those posts rather than forming a judgement about me.


http://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1584339
http://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1607819

Hope my stand is clarified. If you are true to your word, please do mention name of that mutual friend.


Lets talk about topic now without going personal.


@ Anjali

I must apologize for spoiling your topic ...😊

Originally posted by: ami_31

@Akash
don't talk about 30 years back when we are discussing current topic. Just underlining the statements or writing in bold can never help you to people agree to you. we are nott talking here about ppl in rural areas. And lastly, dont speak words like mini, micro or major. when did pratts tell you that her apartment is mini?

Originally posted by: akash08

Ami

1) the stats I gave is from 2009.. Are we not in 2011? Never knew we are in 2039

2) Rural India has more proprotion of female working..So, I am not speaking about villages either

3) Over time the proportion of female:male worker is decreasing and not increasing in India

4) Underlining is to point out the important point if one does not have time and patience to read the whole post - I do not expct anyone to agree to this POV of me in a forum where 90% of active members ar female

5) the word mini is used to compare it with the whole country.. Hopefully you know every word's meaning need to be understood in the contxt of it

Well in summary: please come out of your world of perception and face the facts.. If you have statistics to prove what I am saying is incorrct, discuss or else if you continue to draw conclusion from what you see in a 1 mile redius from your home.. let us agree to disagree and close it here.

PS: The other points you have mentioned are logical but who is discussing those here!! The topic started when someone saying making bad tea is equal to slavery and I am not discussing anything other than this..

Going by this definition, 80% of moms in India would be slaves.. I am just saying stop showing such pseudo modernism.. that is it!!

@ Akash: I am not telling you my perceptions. I am telling the facts of my life and facing everything happily. And secondly, I am not into just 1 mile radius. Do you know who I am or what I do in my life? So how can you conclude that I am in 1 mile of radius. To be clear, since childhood I have been in many cities of India. They were big, they were small. and I have seen different lifestyle of ppl in different areas. We r not discussing about the personal life of ppl in this forum but about what we watch, how we take it, and what we learn from it. Discuss your opinion even if anyone supports u or not. If you r so confident that ur opinion is correct, why are you repeating again n again that maximum ppl in this forum are women. You can urself see that if women r not agreeing with ur POV, this means they really want the society to change now.
And noone says that doing something for ur partner is slavery but ONLY u have to do a particular task at home, that is slavery.
Doing the work what your wife is supposed to do is not pseudo modernism, its about love and setting an example for others. There r hundreds of examples I've seen like that.

If you really agree that Sujit's behaviour towards Antima is correct, then I've no more words to discuss here, bcz I hated his words: "ye auraton ka kaam hai".

Originally posted by: ami_31

@ Akash: I am not telling you my perceptions. I am telling the facts of my life and facing everything happily. And secondly, I am not into just 1 mile radius. Do you know who I am or what I do in my life? So how can you conclude that I am in 1 mile of radius. To be clear, since childhood I have been in many cities of India. They were big, they were small. and I have seen different lifestyle of ppl in different areas. We r not discussing about the personal life of ppl in this forum but about what we watch, how we take it, and what we learn from it. Discuss your opinion even if anyone supports u or not. If you r so confident that ur opinion is correct, why are you repeating again n again that maximum ppl in this forum are women. You can urself see that if women r not agreeing with ur POV, this means they really want the society to change now.
And noone says that doing something for ur partner is slavery but ONLY u have to do a particular task at home, that is slavery.
Doing the work what your wife is supposed to do is not pseudo modernism, its about love and setting an example for others. There r hundreds of examples I've seen like that.

If you really agree that Sujit's behaviour towards Antima is correct, then I've no more words to discuss here, bcz I hated his words: "ye auraton ka kaam hai".

@akash, where we stay and our surroundings are part of the very society in large you are talking about. Stastistics are just that--statistics--remember they do not factor in many housewives who earn by giving tuitions, meal services, knitting, embroidery, cooking and baking classes, transcription, data entry, creches, dance and music, insurance agents, post office agents, home businesses like amway, tupperware so on and so forth. You are forgetting that even 15% in a population of 1155347678 and growing constitutes millions of working couple--and again that number is growing. Anyway you seem to be missing the bigger picture here, ie, working couple is a reality and india is progressing--rural and urban. Even NRIs remember their India fondly and are proud and acknowledging of the progress it is making. Yes, we have our slums and so do US, britan and every other country--and I must add even our slums have SSI generating in the crores. Urban india and life in the urbans is completely lost to you. Again, like I said pls update yourself....We are not in 2039 but you really seem to be stuck 30 years behind, even then in the 70s my mother in law was a working mother, even my grandmother in law in the 40s and 50s was working in Britannias. While we agree that houses have stay at home moms you seem to disagree that there are working mothers and a significant number at that---Working couples according to you are not possible unless they are same sex couples!!!! Really!!!! Give us a break already!!!!

This is my POV. This is my last post on this topic. There is no point in dragging this if you refuse to look beyond your backyard. Anyway it is a debate and we must agree to disagree. 😊