Part-7
There was little point in arguing with him when he was in this mood. 'What do you want?' she asked turning otherside.
'You said you were going to get a drink,' Prithvi reminded her accusingly. 'I looked for you in drink corner, but you weren't there.'
Damini : 'That time..I changed my mind.'
Prithvi : 'You are supposed to be my social secretary.' Not that anyone would guess it from the way you're hiding over here!'
Damini pushed her hair back from her face, replied looking at him : 'You seemed to be getting on fine without me. I would just have cramped your style with
Rachna.''You didn't talk to her for very long.'
Prithvi's eyes flickered. 'Long enough,' he said brusquely. 'I invited her for a dinner..coming weekend.'
Damini :'Is she going to come?'
Prithvi looking away : 'She can't wait.'
Well, that was typical of Rachna who was not a fool, and if she had sensed Prithvi's interest she would waste no time to get involve with him. She too was not intersted in true relation, or love like him...
Damini said with forced smile :'It sounds as if you got what you want,'
Prithvi hesitated imperceptibly. "'She seems ideal.'
There was a cold bitterness, pain inside her that was increasing by the second, still she somehow managed to utter the word : 'Good.'
Prithvi seemed rubbing salt into the wound :. 'You'd better make sure that she gets a proper attention when you send the others out.'
Damini : 'Sure. I will'
There was a pause, dark silence. Damini could feel Prithvi's eyes boring into her, but she couldn't look at him. She moved a hair lock
from her face, and kept her face down, hoping that the act would hide her expression, but it didn't seem to do much good.
'You look tired,' said Prithvi roughly, almost as if the words had been forced out of him' against his will.
Damini : 'I've a little headache, that's all.'
Prithvi : 'We might call party off now, in that case.'
Damini :'But...don't you want to entertain guest here, or anyone special?'
Prithvi : 'No...I have enough.."
He must be sure that Rachna was the girl for whom he was looking for, thought Damini miserably.
Damini (To distract herself) saild slowly :'I told Inder that I'd go and join him in party,'
Prithvi with irritation : 'I'm sure you did, 'But I don't see why I should continue the party just so that you can have another chance to entertain your Mr Perfect friend, I'm not sure your mom would think if she saw how he can't keep his hands off you!' Except all of this,..I m nt sure about you...but I m not feeling well..to relax...
Damini shook her head. 'You don't understand my relation with him but momma does.., n of course its your party..so go ahead..'
'Oh, I don't understand all right !' he practically tounting. 'Come inn, party's off now.'
Damini thought about her last few days while walking to the party hall..she herself was shattered after busy days and sleepless nights, thanks for so called party and her momma's health but top of all him...??
In a way she had been grateful that she was busy in party preparations but she had had little time to think, but the nights had been much harder.
Night after night, she had lain awake, wondering how it could have taken her so long to. realise that she had fallen in love with him. Everything had been so much simpler when it had seemed no more than a job but than attraction. Now she had to face up to spending the rest of her life without him who could make her feel complete.
Why did it have to be Prithvi? Why couldn't she have fallen in love with a kind, decent, nice man, who lived like her and thought like her and wanted the same things that she did? A man who would have loved her and needed her and made her feel safe. someone like Inder ??
Instead it was Prithvi, and there was nothing Damini could do about it. She had never dreamed that love could hurt so much physically. Her heart felt cuts whever it beats, her body ached, and pain. She wondered why she didn't just give in. She could throw her pride to the wind and tell Prithvi that she had changed her mind. She could still marry him. At least she would be with him, temptation whispered. Wouldn't that be better than nothing? Prithvi might sneer at her motives, but he would still take her, Damini was sure of it. He might be putting all his efforts into impressing Rachna now, but he hadn't asked her yet, and Damini was still convenient.
Convenient. The word always hurt her, reminder her when he mentioned this word after that dance... Could she really give up all her dreams for a man who would marry her just because it was convenient? It would be a betrayal of everything she believed in, Damini realised. It would cheapen her love and make it seem shamefull, something to be bargained away instead of treasured.
And how long would it last anyway, in the face of Prithvi's indifference? How long before it shrivelled up and turned to bitterness..
No, thought Damini, she deserved better than that.
It was a fabulous party. Manali had never been a witness of a party like this.People kept telling her so, so she supposed it must be true, but she couldn't wait for it to be over. She stood on the front verandah, looking out over the laughing crowds, loud music. Everyone was impressed and accepted Prithvi with warm welcome. But she wished she could rewind time back to the day, when she and Prithvi had been utterly alone and the only sound had been of the rain droplets and their heartbeat or her own..n he asked her to marry him..second time..of course...
Her jaw ached from the effort of smiling, and she was trembling inside with the strain of appearing her usual cheerful self when it felt as if her whole world was falling apart. Slowly people started moving out..bidding goodbye and praised him alot. Few were sorry for their earlier behaviour too..
Ashamed of her own need to keep him in sight, Damini had managed to keep a eye on Prithvi as he moved around the party greeting people, but in the last half-hour he had disappeared and she was getting ridiculously impatience, wondering where he was, who he was with and what he was doing.
Not that it was hard to guess. Prithvi had given her hint that he liked Rachna few mintues back, and he had actually asked her for dinner too..a date ??
Two days later, she woke up with fever at 11 a.m and she found herself alone with staff only.Obviously,.Prithvi was not aware of her miserable stage..he went out to make arrangement for his coming dinner with Rachna. He had taken great pleasure in telling Damini (by writing a note on her bed side),that Rachna didn't waste her time on stupid sentimentality. She was like him—knew what she wanted and went all out to get it In fact, Prithvi had concluded, they had a lot in common.
Sometimes Damini wondered if he were deliberately going out of his way to hurt her. In spite of finding a kindred spirit in that girl, he had been in a nasty since party day infact last few days.., and had spent his whole time criticise or attack at her with his tough looks or harsh comments, even criticised for household work too..that was not part of his behaviour earlier..Earlier he ate whatever she made..or accepted his surroundings..if clean or not..but now..?? and even he rang Rachna when he knew that Damini was in the office and would be able to overhear every word of his conversation. Damini closed her eyes and reminded herself that she had wanted him to find a wife. Married, he would be able to stay here, and she would go back to Mumbai with a lot of money and job in hand. She ought to be glad that he had found someone as suitable as Rachna, not to be afraid of the moment when they would announce their engagement.
She felt too weak to do anything, she just wanted to run away from him or the feeling, to cry or to stop thinking but could not do anything as she wished..
She slowly moved downstairs but surprised to see him there, working in his laptop..
Damini : "SOrry I am late".
Prithvi looked up at her : "Its ok, how r u now..?" you seems unwell"
Damini : "I..I am fine..just little low..may be weather change..Anyways,..."Dn't worry I wd b fine till evening and will go out for Party.."
Prithvi with irritating smile : ohh ok,, well I know u wd b fine..afterall its your friend's engagement party,,,
Inder was getting engaged with Riya, he invited Damini's family and Prithvi & Rachna too..
Engegment went well, everyone was aroung but Prithvi was missing...?where was he...??
What if he went out to ask Rachna to marry him right now? It would be the perfect time for him to ask, right..??
Damini looked around for Prithvi in sudden panic, but she couldn't see him. She spotted her sister, rolling her eyes, talking to Inder and Riya. Than, There was—
There was Prithvi!
She caught sight of his familiar figure through the crowds. He was standing next to a girl, his dark head
very close to hers, and even from a distance Damini could tell that it was Rachna. Her red irritating smile was unmistakable.
Not wanting to watch, but unable to tear her eyes away, Damini saw Rachna came close and whisper in Prithvi's ear. He smiled and hold her a hand drawing her away from the crowd, and jealousy took over Damini's heart that she could not bear the pain and she had to bit lips to control the tears.
She turned and ran towards roof of the house, the music and the laughter was only a faint sound in the distance. She stopped at last near swing and took long breath to calm down, sitting alone in deep dark silence.
Sick, dizy, hurt, Damini couldn't remember getting here. All she remembered was Prithvi's smile, and Rachna's leaning close to him, whispering in his ear.
She closed her eyes to tightly to block out the image, but it was no good. Her mind was like repeating that video, freezing them in that moment of intimacy, smiling, touching, turning away from the rest of the crowd.
Damini wiped her tears, and opened her eyes. It was very chilly outside,,,but she sat their in silence, tried to settled herself slowly around her surroundings..
With sudden clarity she realised how badly she was behaving. It wasn't Prithvi's fault that she had fallen in love with him. He had been absolutely honest with her, from his first day, and she couldn't complain now that he wasn't the person she wanted him to be. Prithvi was the way he was, and he wasn't going to change for her or for anyone else. She could take him or she could leave him, and it was her decision to leave.
She was lucky,Damini reminded herself. She had a wonderful life, she had a family, a home, friends, a career. It was time that she went back to them her life..old life. And perhaps one day she would meet someone else and discover that love didn't have to be like this. Perhaps then she would be able to look back at her feelings for Prithvi and wondered that she could have been so unhappy because of him.
Perhaps...but is that possible now??
She looked down to the party area from roof top and noticed, guests were ready to leave..the food corner had packed up, and Damini mader her mind to go back to party and to bid her friends good bye at least..but before she could stand, Prithvi found her.
Prithvi said irritably : 'So there you are!''What are you doing sitting out here in the dark?'
Damini was too tired to pretend any more, slowly she replied : 'It's been a long day. I thought I was entitled to some time to myself.'
Prithvi ignored the hint. He seemed restless, pacing in front of hear, leaning on swing rod, straightening more. A deam yellow light angled across the darkness further down, illuminating his features momentarily before he turned back to her, where Damini waited silently for him to get whatever it was he had to say off his chest.
Every time he came near her she wanted to put out her hand and make him stop, to persuade him to sit beside her in the dark and listen to the night, the silence, their heartbeat. This would be the last chance she had to be alone with him, and she ought to make the most of it, but she didn't trust herself not to cry.
It felt as if there was a knife stabbing cruelly around her heart, cutting it into pieces. Damini didn't dare move or speak in case she fell apart. All she could do was sit there desperately hanging onto her control. She mustn't break down, not now, when he was so close to his dream..
Prithvi said abruptly at last. He made himself sit beside her in the swing..in darkness his expression was impossible to read. :'I just wanted to thank you,' last few days were a big success for me, and it was all due to you. I know how hard you worked to get everything organised.'
Damini tried to sound normal : 'I was just doing my job,'
There was the tiniest of pauses. 'Your job,' Prithvi repeated, so heavily that Damini could almost believe that he'd forgotten. He turned away to another side, with his back to her. 'Yes, I guess it was.'
'I enjoyed doing it,' Damini went on, finding it easier now that he wasn't looking at her. 'And it's been good experience for me. I...' She took breath and continue. 'I've decided to specialise in events management when I would be in Delh.. .'but she stopped realising her words..
'Delhi?' Prithvi turned to look at her. 'I thought you wanted to work for Saxena group in Mumbai?', you already got that job,, you know that so why?? you did not tell me about ur plan for Delhi?? .
She had said that, Damini remembered. She thought about the day when he said 'The job's yours,..
'I've changed my mind,' she said, avoiding his eyes. 'I'hv got a job offer from Delhi, so would accept that for a while and then would set up my own business organising big parties, conferences, publicity launches... that kind of thing. I think I'd be quite good at it,' she added defiantly, as if Prithvi had rejected the whole idea. 'All I need is a bit of capital to get me going.'
There was a raw silence. 'I see,' said Prithvi after a moment Well, don't worry, it won't be long and you can have your capital. That's what we agreed.'
Damini with hurt and shocked after his words.. : 'You're...you're getting married?'
Prithvi looked away :'Yes.'
Damini dug her nails into her palms. To her?'
Prithvi : 'humm...'
It was funny, Damini thought with an odd, detached part of her mind. She had been waiting for this moment, and she had known that it would hurt, but she hadn't had any idea of just how painfull it would be. She hugged herself to control her heart and refused to let herself break down. Her pride wasn't much comfort but it was all she had.
Damini asked avoiding his gaze :'Does she know why you're so keen to get married?'
Prithvi stood up, put his hands in his pockets, took two steps away : .'Not yet,'I haven't had a chance to explain the situation yet I'll do it when I ask her to marry me.'
Damini's heart leapt, even though she knew it was futile. 'You haven't asked her yet?'
Prithvi : 'No. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow...after dinner'
Damini lowering her gaze :'She might not say yes.'
Prithvi : 'She will, 'You don't get to run a million crore business without being able to predict how people are going to react'
'I said no,' Damini reminded him, lifting her head to look him straight in the eyes. 'You didn't predict that', did you??'
They stared at each other in the silence, dark night.. for a long,and then Prithvi looked away. 'She won't,' She'll say yes all right, when she hears what's on offer.'
He was probably right, Rachna was practical and not a fool like her may be,,Damini struggled to stand on her feet and came close to him.
So this was it, the end of the story. No point now in hoping that Prithvi would change and fall in love. No point in hoping that Rachna would turn down the chance of securing her future by marrying an attractive man and sharing his Mansion, his wealth and his presence...
Only a fool would do that. ...Only a fool like her.
'Well...congratulations,' she said, unable to keep the sadness from her voice.
'You don't sound very pleased for me,' he commented mockingly, and Damini drew a shaky breath.
'She won't make you happy,' she told him, knowing that it wouldn't make any difference, but needing to say it anyway.
'She'll make me happy the moment she says "I do".' Prithvi's voice was hard, harsh but his face with blank expressions. 'Mansion will be mine, and no one will be able to take it away from me. That's all I need to make me happy.'
Damini : If that is all you care about, then perhaps you're right'
Prithvi said after a pause (she felt as if he wanted to hurt her):'She and I will manage perfectly well without love,' We're well matched. Neither of us is starting out with any expectations of true love and happy-ever-after, and we're likely to end up a lot happier than you when your romantic illusions are all you've got to keep you warm!'
Damini felt a slap in his voice, and turned her face away. Hugging her arms together, she moved towards the railing, where the shadows were deeper and Prithvi wouldn't be able to see her expression.
Damini : 'Wh-when will you get married?'
Prithvi : 'There's no reason not to do it immediately. We could fly up to Baglaore at the end of this week, I guess to meet her parents, get married there and sort out all the legal stuff at the same time.'
Damini smiled forcibly :'Rachna might prefer a proper wedding..you know..cultural kind of. They take some time to plan.'
Prithvi :'I'm not going through all that fuss, 'It's a business arrangement for me, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. she won't mind as long as she gets a share in my bank account.'
Damini : "Maybe you are right...
Again a silence..Damini took a deep breath as she turned to look at him once more. 'In that case, I may as well say goodbye now.'
Prithvi (as if in shocked) 'What do you mean, goodbye'
Damini : 'I'm going back to Mumbai first thing in the morning and than will move for Delhi...'
'Tomorrow?' Prithvi sounded as if he had been knocked off balance. 'You can't go tomorrow!'
Damini :'Why not?'
'Because...because you're still working for me,' he snapped. 'I need you here.'
She smiled sadly. 'No, you don't. You've found a wife. I've done my job.'
'It's not finished yet.' A muscle was jerking furiously in Prithvi's jaw. "There are still arrangements to be made.'
Damini :'You can make them with her. It's nothing to do with me...'
'Oh, very well,' Prithvi shouted. 'Go, if you're so desperate to go, but you needn't think I'm paying you until after wedding!'
'Fine.' Somehow Damini managed to control her temper as she turned to go. 'You've got my address in Mumbai. You can send a cheque there or to Momma here...'
Prithvi : well, enoughh...but I m not leaving you here,,u r going back home with me now
Damini turned with smile (ignoring his word "Home" of course that is not her home..: of course i m not staying here its not my home...I am goig back to Momma's place but will come with you to collect my things first..".
In mansion, She came downstairs with her packed bags, she looked around for the last time as if too capture every corner in her heart as a memory..
He excused himself out of her sight for work and locked himself in his cabin when she refused to take his offer for ride till her mommma's place..she did not want to face him although before leaving still she hoped to see him once...???
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