PriDa SS:Of Choices,Of Healing & Of Love UPD pg 4 - Page 5

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darknite thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#41
one doubt πŸ€” u have not mentioned about mrs saxena after her recovery. i mean where she went after being discharged. didnt she scold her sons for such an act etc etc...
LazyKid thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#42
at loss of word...to describe how wonderfully u presented the story to us
n the part where damini goes to prithvi's room when sameer called her was most touching of all...

I also agree with radsy u could had extended bit more...we wouldnt had complained u bit regarding that...u knw we r always ready for more prida dose

again very brilliantly presented...
Maz. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#43
Maham..that was a wonderful story...I liked how he ends up telling her I love you, that was really nice...and everything about how she decides to go after him and their moments in his apartment...very sweet.

Ishaan..super belated birthday wishes!...I think I forgot to say it earlier! Hope you have a great year going :)


dee86 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#44
First of all, great premise, so thanks for that Ishaan.

Maham, this is definitely one of your best! I love how you showed PriDa's progression from lies and deception to true (in every sense of the word) love. I especially love that Prithvi is the one who tells Damini the truth; that is the most important thing we didn't get to watch in the show, IMHO.

Full marks to your description of Damini's heartbreak. And Prithvi's regret and guilt - that was simply beautiful. So Damini dreams of Prithvi and Prithvi can't sleep - people say you can't escape from yourself when you sleep, so it makes complete sense that Damini WOULD dream of him. And I suppose Prithvi can't sleep cos he's so ashamed of himself. Nice touch, that was, though it seems simple at first read. Also love the fact that Damini still visits Pri's mum; that is SO her.

Thanks for including a bit from Ela's pov. I think she was one of the best telly mums ever and you've done justice to her!

Absolutely love their little encounter - the love, hurt and confusion were very well-written there... And the way Damini comforts him when he needs her, despite what he's done, that to me, is the definition of what love ought to be. That carries on the next part too, doesn't it... she just can't stay away when he's in trouble. I love the way you portrayed his guilt and frustration here - I think it was absolutely imperative that Damini had a glimpse of the tortured soul that Prithvi Saxena had become. Well done! Damini sharing that anecdote of Balraj with Prithvi was all sorts of poignant. I always thought that would be interesting to watch and thanks to you, I can at least read it.

I like Sameer as you write him. He's more... mature. And yet, he's the nautanki we know from the show. Very well balanced.

She loves him, she needs him, he's the one she thinks of when she's in trouble - and still she runs away. Why?! Well, I know why, of course... Stupid Prithvi and his maqsads and plans botched up everything. Sigh. Oh well, at least they're in love...

I wanted you to know the truth about me. I cared more about you knowing the truth then my own happiness. When you decided to marry me you thought you were marrying someone sincere and honest. I wanted to be that man even if it would cost me a great deal. I could not'. I could not marry you. Not when you lived in the comfort of my lies. I wanted you to know the man I really was. I wanted to give you that choice Damini. It would have been wrong of me to keep you in the dark even when I no longer had to. I had done a lot of wrong things ever since I met you. I wanted atleast one of them to be right. Everybody deserves the truth no matter how painful it is. You did too Damini. To continue lying to you would not have only been a continued disrespect to you and your beliefs but to our relationship. I could not do that. To you or to us.



I abso-effing-lutely LOVE this bit!

...he had had to leave for the sake of his family. For the sake of making something out of himself. He had to support them. His Father would have wanted that.

His love for Damini was not going to pay the bills. His brothers knew that it probably killed him to leave but they all knew that the offer was too good to turn down. Ela ji had pulled too many strings for him and he simply could not reject it. He could mourn over Damini just as well in another city, he thought grimly.



THIS is the ever-responsible dhakkan known as Prithvi Saxena in a nut-shell!

Woot woot, she went to get him!! You go, girl!! Ahem... It is great to see as the go-getter. Very in line with her general character. Even if she was a little slow about it :p

Loved the Ishaan bit!! Great li'l birthday gift for him!

Sometimes the forgiveness that comes with time and the love that manages to live through heartbreak and hurt can speak for itself in the subtle smiles, the brief meeting of eyes that carried a touch of that very love and the quiet underlying understanding behind the other's actions and choices, all of it leading to a single kiss. A kiss that spoke of practically a year of bottled up hurt, love and desire.

A reunion of this kind speaks for itself because sometimes the act of love survives it all not to lead to a stunning climax but to an awkward one that says more things then long winded up confessions of love ever could. Because sometimes the relations that ground themselves in actions and not words, in understanding and quiet vows, in silence and a passion that is all-consuming are perhaps the strongest of them all. And when the emotions that harbor in the souls of two people are strong enough to bring them together in a manner such as this one then time acquires a nature that is termed infinite. And they had time. The talks would come even when they already knew what the other was going to say. One would say, the other would understand and with that they would move on. Because with forgiveness and with love, any thing is possible.Especially the future.

And for Prithvi and Damini a future was finally possible.



Completely speechless at how beautiful this is...

Great choice of song as well.. The words fit so perfectly.

Well done, Maham! This is one of the best I've read in a while... Thanks so much for writing this!!

Lots of love,
Dee

p.s. sorry about the essay...
..Waves.. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#45
Mahammm...

Once again beautiful parts⭐️...!! Love ur experiment a lot...sply d ending part...:)) No heavy dialouges...no arrangemtns just a staright and simple confession...😊


Very well done MahamπŸ‘πŸ‘...!! Brilliant workπŸ‘πŸΌ...!! Thanxxx for dis Pridalicious treat...😳


-Nitika
-Misek- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#46
Maham I must say you're such a SUPERB writer.. I've read both your FFs and this OS.. It's soo hard to get away with it.. I am addicted to your writing and I couldn't think to stop reading it and have a break.. Well it's your another work that I read at a go..

pls keep all these lovely FFs and OS coming on the forum.. I knw you might be bg but this is just too good to miss..

Keep up the good wrk

SimmyπŸ€—
Ishaan. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#47
Heyya Maham! πŸ€—

Did you just jump out of your skin? :P Haha, don't worry - this isn't my ghost. :P I'm still pretty much ALIVE. :P I know I'm horribly late - just in time for my next birthday. πŸ˜› But now that I'm FINALLY here, let's not delve into all that. :P ... Onto the comment, straightaway. 😎

So I had to read this again to get myself re-acquainted with the intricacies... And you know what, Maham? After all these months, it felt AWESOME to read something written by you! πŸ˜ƒ I can't recall if I've mentioned this before, but you have a very fluid style of writing... It's easy on the senses, and relatable too, when the emotions portrayed have a certain spontaneity about them.

I like how Damini is, well, Damini in the beginning - seemingly apathetic, yet solicitous deep down-- keeping the irrevocability of her affections to herself, and thereby turning the chink in her armour into THE armour itself! Whoa. I just love these little nuances PriDa are made of. Credit to you for bringing them out so well. πŸ‘πŸΌ

Of course, the armour ceases to exist once she steps into his room. Love how she comforts him, assures him, erases all traces of doubt from his mind. The genuineness of it all is heart-warming... When I thought of this concept, this is exactly what I had wished to see - Damini being there for Prithvi out of her own accord, and not out of a mere sense of duty. This line here is so poignant - "It wasn't a lie Damini. Not all of it. We... we were real Damini. You should know that." *Oh, she DOES know that, Prithvi. Else she wouldn't have been at your door in the first place. *

Their interaction in Damini's room following Prithvi's little "accident" panned out well. Prithvi telling her why he chose to bestow her with the truth - no matter how ugly it was - has got to be the best set of lines I've read in a while! Very, very significant - even when taken out of context. Liked the metaphor with the bedsheet - Damini drawing patterns on it symbolising how messed-up her thoughts were at that point. Good thinking there! πŸ‘πŸΌ

The news of Suman's recovery evoked some wonderful reactions in the two. Them taking in the joy together, shedding their inhibitions in that one moment of relief and thankfulness -- all of that has been beautifully worded. Angst makes an entry soon, and bang! Queen of Angst scores a full ten! πŸ˜› Really, that bit was impeccably described - the whirlwind of emotions they were going through, the pain, the denial - everything.

So Prithvi moves to Calcutta! This is nice! His musings here are very insightful -- "He was in another city and he hadn't even told her he was leaving. He didn't really know why. Perhaps he was simply scared of the fact that she'd let him go. That she wouldn't stop him. " - Tells a lot.

I like how Damini's realisation came about. So like her to have her epiphany in a moment of fury. πŸ˜› Brilliant job done there.

And now comes my 'favourite' bit. πŸ˜† I sort of knew that I'd have a role to play in this SS :P - and this is as real as it gets! Trust me, if I ever meet someone like Damini Gujral, I'd behave every bit of the idiot you've portrayed me as. πŸ˜† But unlike how things are here, I would be super jealous of "Prithvi Bhaiya"! 🀣 Anyway, back to the point :P - I LOVED the whole scene, Maham. ⭐️ Thank you so, so much! πŸ€—

The anticlimax felt very real. Both going completely blank -- that happens, when the moment is such an overwhelming one. Prithvi's feelings have been beautifully captured here -- the hope, the apprehension, and how he values choices more than anything. "She could break him or she could heal him but he'd always love her anyway. Always." - This line sums it up for me. A wonderful justification of your title as well - "Of choices, of healing, and of love..." πŸ‘πŸΌ

Damini's side of the coin is just as intense. How she couldn't bear thought of losing Prithvi, how she thought only togetherness could heal their scars, and how Prithvi would always be her 'default choice'. Loved the whole thing.

The reconciliation carried a certain depth, and yet was there was this simplicity about it. That gets attributed to your excellent choice of words -- powerful and outright where necessary, easy and delicate otherwise. BEAUTIFUL. ❀️ The last bit - Prithvi holding her close, the two talking freely, making provisions for their immediate future together -- so good to see them like that. They've found their peace at last-- in each other. :')

Brilliant end to the story. ⭐️ So they paid me a visit in the end! πŸ₯³ I do hope 'first impression' didn't turn out to be 'last impression' (you know how the saying goes :P), and I didn't make a fool of myself the second time around. πŸ˜† Haha! :P

So basically, this is the longest (and the most delayed :P) comment I've ever left anybody. :P Thank you for working on my idea, and giving it a shape. πŸ˜ƒ I loved this SS -- definitely one of your bests. Glad it came on the occasion of my birthday. ⭐️ Talking of birthdays, I'm sorry I couldn't make yours special like I promised. πŸ˜’ *Manaofying to be done on Facebook :P*

Thanks again! You are the best virtual sister ever! 😎

Love,
Chhotey :P
Edited by Ishaan. - 12 years ago
prernahazra thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#48
hey Maham
luking forward for Update...
Update soon..
Love
Prerna
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