Cousins Relation - Page 3

Also, people do things for whatever reason despite of being taught otherwise. Such cases are found in society in all walks of life.

Overall, relations between cousins depends upon the culture they belong to. I think even in the Muslim culture the children of brothers cannot marry or am I missing something?

The whole concept of so called illicit or legal relationship of cousins is rather obscure. The marriage between Gunjan and Mayank is Sapne suhane is not accepted in my culture. SInce Mayak and Gunjan are both cousins of Rachna, they cannot marry( Just an example not intented to discuss another serial, so please consider it) but the serial went on with the concept and people I see have accepted this. If we take examples of Tv serials , we will know that there are ample of cases where the older sister becomes mami or chachi of the younger sister. This thing is also not acceptable in my family.

While watching Pinjar that describes the Indian culture and situations during the partition, I realised exchange marriages was or may be still vogue in some parts on India. By exchange marriages I meant Is ghar ki beti us ghar me aur us ghar ki beti is ghar me. I don't think one will find such marriages in the eastern part of India.

In Mahabharata, Arjun was a cousin to Shri Krishna. By that logic, Subhadra was also a cousin of Arjun. Besides, there are ample of such examples not only in mythology but also in history. In fact, most of the political marriages of the past have been made beyond the conventional way of marriages in India. Why India alone ? There are such instances in world history as well. Cleaopatra had to marry her own brothers who were younger to her as per the custom.

In some parts of India, the people of same village cannot marry. Again, a boy and a girl belonging to same gotra cannot marry. Although, from legal point of view, it is very much legal but the society refuses to take the argument. In some conventional families, the bride should always be younger to her husband.

All in all we can say, the whole idea of legality of relationship depends upon the situation, the culture and the people at large. The growth of culture and the inter mingling of different races, people and religions, has given a new dimension to the institution of marriage, at least in India.Never mind what we think what is right or just, we will have to follow the society laid rules and therefore the rules shall vary person to person. Basically, it is the society which shall decide the legality of such relationships.

P.S: I do not intend to hurt any person, character , culture or religion. I do watch the show occasionally but my judgement and opinions are not based on the show. If it had hurt anyone, My heart felt apologies

- Marriage between cousins is common in some parts of North India though not as common as it is in South India. Examples: Chunar and Jaunpur. More than often, cousins involved hide their relationship from their families.

- A lot of South Indian communities prefer marriage between cross-cousins (and Maternal uncle and niece). Movies even condone such relationships.

- In some places (Haryana), marriage between members of the same village is prohibited.

- In certain communities, you aren't allowed to marry someone who is immediately associated to you by four surnames : father's surname, mother's maiden surname, paternal grandmother's maiden surname and maternal grandmother's maiden surname. These four surnames help determine your probable Gotra.

- In my paternal culture (Maharashtra - Hindu), first cross-cousins can marry but parallel ones can't. In my maternal culture (Sinhalese Sri Lankan - Buddhist/Christian), it varies. They either don't care as marriage is seen as a personal thing or don't allow marriage within the same family at all. Even distant relatives are your siblings.

- Among Muslims, it is common, especially in the Middle East.

- Some communities (Chardi Kala Gursikhs) don't favour getting married to someone with the same last name as it doesn't feel right to them and in their opinion, amounts to getting married to one's own brother or sister. Contrarily, in a few Sikh communities, marriage between cousins is permitted.

- In certain communities (Dheekshitar Community), consanguineous marriage is deemed necessary as their total population is approximately 400 and marrying outside the community isn't allowed lest they lose their rights to worship in the Nataraj temple and status as Dheekshitar.

- The Bible doesn't prohibit cousin marriage and some Christian sects support it (Christians in Karnataka). However, the Catholic Church has placed a ban on such marriages. Pope Gregory I was the one who pioneered this law but that was to prevent families from hording wealth.

- The Hindu Marriage Act bars marriage for five generations on the father's side and three on the mother's side but provides for cross-cousin marriage where it is permitted by custom. The Special Marriage Act completely prohibits marriage between cousins. Muslim and Christian Personal Laws unconditionally permit such marriages.

- Incest between consenting adults is legal in India though it isn't in Australia and other parts of the world. Marriage is a different issue altogether.

- History is full of examples of such relationships. Reasons why endogamy takes place differ from couple to couple. Political alliances, preservation of royalty, status, wealth or property, divorce, rape, trust, debt, etc. are a few of them.

In short, legal and illicit are human constructs and don't have a universal meaning. Things and events simply exist. What may seem illicit to some, doesn't to others. What may be legal in one part of the world, is illegal in another. What may have been acceptable long time ago, isn't sanctioned by the society today. I personally have no qualm about such relationships provided they are consensual and that people involved are mature, aware of potential risks and financially independent to shoulder responsibility.