Chapter 7 – Anjaane se woh
Without a second thought shiv walks out into the haveli floors feeling a certain pain to his body shiv was resistant to it, as ever he had a high tolerance rate to pain yet the weakness was visible in his eyes.
His eyes search for gauri as he walks through the haveli and as expected she reaches the rounds of the puja ghar and there she is. Sitting on steps outside the puja room shiv wonders why she preferred to sit outside it. Putting it down to female understanding he didn't think to much on it. He walked slowly towards her from the back and sat next to her. The slight crowch down to this level caused shiv some pain which could be seen in the creases of his face yet gauri did not notice his presence let alone anything else.
Shiv took a glance to his side and saw an innocent, upset and fearful expression with tears. She cared for him to that extent that her feelings where drowning as tears.
Shiv noticed how gauri was miss-contently viewing the puja room, the idols could be seen from this distance yet she preferred to sit out there instead of being inside. Seemingly a strange thing shiv questions and gauri happens to realize his presence.
"JO MEINE SUNA HAI KYA WOH SATCH HAI? " standing in front of her with that unavoidable dominance as ever shivs words are rather sharp.
"..ji..aap?"Startled by that deep sensation and tone close to her gauri looks on with astound, not able to bring feelings to mouth her eyes glow in relieve at seeing shiv . A hesitant word from gauri yet shiv could feel the concern she was carrying.
Shiv takes view of an disturbed gauri…she looked upset. Drained with tears that had ran down her expression and been wiped away, the traits of this were visible shiv.
"TUMNE SUBHE SE KUCH NAHIN KHAYA?" Shiv stood there in his very own persona and questioned gauri… he looked very much himself, that white shirt look and toned down appearance was a trademark but gauri noticed that inclining of weakness in expression. Her demure behavior at his words told him that what he had herd was correct. He also noticed that she seemed to be a little scared of him or alteast histant in away this thought made shiv a little bit more conious of how he behaved. Reailsing that maybe his confrontation was a little too sharp his eyes took to a change when he took another view of who he was really talking to. Thinking about all he had figured from her painting shiv went back to the realization that gauri was hesitant, demure , devoted and inccoent. For somebody of her nature maybe shiv kapoors dominance was a bit frightful. Realaxing his tone of voice shiv takes a view steps closer and takes a seat beside gauri. It was to gauris discomfort at first yet as she listened to shiv she realized that his words were very soft and understanding.
"Yaha se dekh rahi ho..andar nahin jaana?" gauri doesn't reply no dare to look at shiv. Gathering the histancy as reason shiv ingnores to pause and reassures gauri.
"Mein bikul theek hoon",shiv carries a rare look In his eyes. It was like he could read gauri, her feelings, her pain and worry it was like he was familiar with it.
Reaching into his trouser pocket shiv pulled out his handkerchief and passed it to gauri who was sitting very passively beside him. Noticing a certain movement from her husband gauri took the handkerchief from him and aware of him she wiped her tears quickly.
Shiv watched the sort of innocence she carried it reminded him of someone.
"mera aise bimaar hona mere leighyey koi nayee baat nahin hai." Shiv had spoken with so much ease that it made gauri think, she was out of her self in worry for him yet his eyes carried just easiness, they showed a sense of strength and not the assumed weakness of an ill man. Gauri listened passively trying to avoid eye contact. His presence always created a certain nerve-racking sensation for her yet today she felt it toned down a little. Shiv sat entwining his hands and played about with the ring that sat on his finger as he talked.
Shiv: "Meri maa kehti thi –batchpan mein jaab kabhi bohot pareshan hota tha toe aise hein bimaar hota tha."
Gauri takes an estranged glance as shiv, she was surprised to hear him talk about such personal things with her. He had kept away for so long that this moment was overwhelming for gauri or at least surprising.
Shiv took a glance in gauris direction and saw that hint of baffle she carried. She was ever so timid around him and her expression showed that she was surprised by this conversation all of a sudden.
Seeing gauris expression shiv felt the need to explain what he was getting at and that's just what he did.
"mein isleighyey bata raha hoon .kyun ke meri maa bhi tumari tare hein
Apne bhagvaan se ruuth jaati thi" It was like he understood her feelings within, he watched her and unveiled deep feelings that she had hidden. Things that she thought that could be only known to her. Something inside her made her feel like shiv knew everything about her.
Gauri was taking very secretive glances at shiv throughout the time he was talking yet these last words that he added really made her think.
"Mera yey maana hai ke insaan se ruth jaaon toe shayad woh hame bhich raste mein chorde magar bhagvan se ruuth jaaon lekin woh kabhi na kabhi raaste mein mil hein jaata hai." Shivs words touched gauri it was like he was trying to imply something. His words were meaningful, his every word seemed experienced like it was said with a past attached to it. a sparkle in shivs eyes caught gauris attention. His words had touched her and that one glance had swept her away just before an arkward moment arose for gauri of silence. Shiv said nothing nor did gauri
yet just in time was Shankar chacha… as he walked towards them both he carried a dinner plate. Noticing it arrive shiv thanks Shankar and takes the plate. Looking at gauri his expression makes his instruction clear. "Kha lo…" putting down the plate in the space between himself and gauri shivs instruction is rather demanding.
On the other hand gauri denies his request hesitantly…nodding negatively under a hidden expression. As ever shiv is adamant his second request was more of a commandment and hearing the firmness in his voice gauri immediately agrees with a "ji". Content with gauri now agreeing to eat shiv moves to get up yet feeling a certain amount of pain in one of his shoulders his expression creases with discomfort as he rubs his hand against his shoulder he feels an additional touch. Looking to his side shiv sees an concerned gauri and looks at how her hand is rested on his shoulder, she is not aware of It but as shiv looks into her eyes he sees the depth of emotion and worry. Shiv says nothing just stares into those eyes to make out what is really beneath that timid extior. As shiv goes on glancing gauris concern strings along in the from of words…. ""aaap ..aap theekh toe hai naa….dard ho raha hai…???" incomplete words of concern are outspoken by gauri yet shiv goes on to watch her. His pain was only of the moment and he could leave now yet gauri was holding onto his shoulder. Watching gauri and looking at the way she was getting so flustered shiv was amused by gauris innocence and care… her love for him spilled from her eyes… shiv could go on watching yet he did the sensible thing.
Shiv"Agar muje choro gi toe mein jaaon?"
It was only when shiv added a few words that gauri realized that she was still latched on to his shirt. Shocked at herself she drops her expression in shudder at once. Letting go of shiv gauri has no words…"woah mein….waoh." shiv has nothing to say nor wants to here an explanation, he knows all. "Meine koi saafayi mangi tumse??" His tone had now gone to the more serious sort and gauri nodds a no. shiv gets up to leave….walking a few steps and behind him gauri is left in a fluster. As shiv walks along further he hears something.
Gauri calls from behind "Suniyey"… shiv turns around to see gauri holding the handkerchief.
"Yey ...aaapka" just as gauri goes to speak shiv interrupts with a rather comforting expression. – "Tum rakho."
As the moment falls to a close and shiv leaves gauri is left feeling an overwhelming sense of closeness to shiv. It was true that there were nerves on her behalf yet five years of marriage and as gauri thought over the moment her husband was more than she had anticipated.
……as ever anupam had insisted on keeping shiv company which was unknown to shiv. As anupam seemed to be thinking hard over a standalone game of chess shiv walks into the room.
"I thought tum mera bussniess sambhalne vale the…" anupam nods negatively while his concentration is soley on his game. "woah riya kar rahi hai aur tumare dad bhi toe hai." Shiv gives anupam a distrusting look. Feeling syomtoms of illness more so cold he heads towards his wardrobe in the far corner of the room. Sliding cross the wooden doors he opens up his perfectly organized wear. Array of suits, shirts everything yet not what shiv was looking for.
Shiv looked disappointed… - riya se kehna- shes out of a job..
Anupam: "Kyun?"
Shiv: "Koi kaam theekh se nahin karti"
Anupam: "Fir se over react kar rehe ho kya" rhetorical question yet shiv anwers it which makes it a little bit amusing.
Shiv: "Pretty much"
Anupam: "I thought so. Ek din na woh office chor kar sarur chali jayengi" shiv ignored anupams comment,
"Koi jumper vagera nahin hai is cupboard mein." Shiv pulling through various hangers in his cupboard there is nothing. The point was that shiv was illl and therefore cold. Not to mention the fact that anupam was sitting in both a blazer and scalf which means he was cold too.
Uknown to shiv and anupam there was presence just outside the door and just before shiv could complain any more there was a knock at the door. Both shiv and anupam looked to the entrance of the room where gauri stood. Dressed in a deep pink shade of saari she holds a tray which looked like it carried tea.
Anupam: "Achi timing hai aapki.."anupam seems awaiting his tea but there is pause from gauri, she speaks ever so silently.. "ijaazat ho toe" she was asking if she could enter? Anupam smiles….
bilkul andar aajon… gauri still pauses anupam gathers it was more to do with shiv and prompts him. Shiv thinks nothing of it but anupam realizes that without shivs consent gauri wouldn't move.
Anupam: "kyun shiv.. gauri aajjayey naa.." anupams comment was more of a teasing nature and if you knew him well enough then that would be apparent.
Shiv seems to be gazing a gauri all the while she stands there… it was uknown what was going on in shivs mind but as his friend prompts him shiv adds a stong yes. Gauri enters the room and puts down the tray by anupams side.. she crouches down to floor level to mix sugar and milk into the drinks.
Shiv watches while gauri interacts with anupam. She smiled for the first time that brought a comfort to shivs face. Anuapm went on to ask about sugar milk all those typical things yet shiv heard none of it he was watching gauri……..
He noticed that even in her own element and comfort gauri was very timid, her persona was shades of humbleness and innocence which to shiv was becoming leisurely attractive.
An interruption of such a moment was just one of those things that had to happen and so it is.
"Devidasji" was a loyal employee of mehens and his role was housekeeper but he was much more then that. He was friend; companion to shivs farther but he maintained a employee relationship at all times. For shiv he was an figure that he had seen grow old beside his farther. Shiv respected him and thought of him to be close to his fathers figure. In appearance the man was of the older generation, he had an almost grand farther look to him. White hair crisp traditional look of dhoti kurta, half moon spectacles and a soft look on his eyes. He always seemed to carry around with him a black book..it was a dairy, mehens schedule was the reason behind this addition yet it was something the man was never without.
Devidas was very modest of his position even though shiv was much younger than him he etherized the fact that shiv was thakur by addressing him as chote maalik. Shiv never thought anything of it..it was something that had always been and even today without realastion he accepted devidas gesture.
As he walked in and stopped at a distance he had a very worried look on his face that promted shiv to ask what the problem was.
Shiv: "Baat kya hai..aap kuch parishan lag rahe hai?"
Devidas: "Malik mein jaanta hoon ke aap theekh nahin hai…parishani ke leighyey maafi chahta hoon magar ek samasya thi."
Shiv: "Kaho"
Devidas: "kuch gaaon wale apni samasya le kar aaya hai, agar aap kahe to kal panchaayat.."
Shiv: "Nahin. Jab tak yey sab simdaari meri hai koi panchaayat nahin hogi…mein insaab mein vishwas nahin rakhta."
Devidas: "Magar malik hone ke naate faisla toe aapko hein lene hoga."
Shiv: "Theekh hai kaho baat kya hai." As much as shiv disliked this sort of responsiblitly he was adamant to prove that he would make a better leader than his farther and for that reason he agreed. Taking to a more serious persona he walked across the room and took a seat in his chair. Anupam and gauri both felt a little out of place and were silent as things went into a deeper more serious tone. Behind devidas are two more people. An older weak looking man and a younger woman who seemed to be in tears..
Anupam stops his watch over the chess board as he feels the moment go cold. Looking at the two pained expressions standing behind devidas Anupam feels that maybe this was something that needed to be done in privacy … "Shiv muje lagta hai ke aap logo ko akele mien." Anupam is about to rise from his seat and garuri is all prepared to hide behind anupam and get away yet shivs tone of voice goes against this.
Shiv : Nahin, koi kahin nahin jaayeyga. The way in which shiv spoke gave of impense authority that even anupam didn't want to question. On the other hand gauri was a little shaken by her husbands voice. Fidgeting uncomfottably she had always hated this type of situation more so as it reminded her of the confrontation between her farther and shiv.
Anupam doesn't question, as a result of this feel to the situation he takes a more serious posture than usual. As gauri stands in the corner of the room she too feels a strain to the moment.
All are silent on shivs demand and devidas speaks…
Malik yey raam naath hai.. aur yey inki beti, the old man moves out of the way for the two to be seen clearly. Both seem to be down in tears, there expression shows a deep depression which makes shiv think. As both stand in tears devidas speaks for them.
"Doe maheene pehele iski shaadhi hui thi… magar uske paati uske saath bothat hein bura saluk kiya. Maara pita..uske saath rishta rakha aur chor diya."
"Saza ke tor par aapke pita ne use gaaon se bhar nikaal diya.
Magar kuch dino pehle woh vaapas aaya …aur apni patni ke saath rehna chahta hai. Usne dava kiya hai ke woah badal gayay hai."
Shiv: "Aur aap chahte hai ke mein ise gaaon mein rehne ki ijaazat du?" shiv jumped to a sort of conclustion yet this Is what was implied in his eyes.
He understood that these people expected him to make life changing decsion for them yet for shiv he didn't agree with this.
Shiv : "Jaha tak mein samj raha hoon, yey faisla aapke beti ka hai. Agar woh apne pati ko maaf kar ne ke leighyey taayar hai toe muje koi problem nahin." Shiv was strong spoken he gave a clear indication of his take on things yet when he looked at those faces in front of him he realized that this was not shiv kapoors world it was village life and here he was responsible. Devidas and gauri was shocked with shivs words just because his ways differed so much from his farther. Mehen was much more controlling and would take matters into his own hands yet shiv was more open.
There was silence for a few seconds as shiv tired searching for the girl with his sight yet hiding behind her farther she was out of shivs view. As devidas and the the girls farther noticed shivs sight search they moved out of the way.
Revealing a young.. lady..emotionaly drained expression of sadness shiv noticed how she looked very much a married lady. Sindhoor mangalsutra..
Yaha aaon.. as the girl walks closer and stops facing shiv, watching her are various different people which puts a stern atmosphere to the situation ..gauri and anupam both watch with suppressed worry at what shiv was about to say.
Shiv rises from his seat taking a few steps in her direction he stops. a thoughtful look at the girl for a few minuets he looks at those tear cupped eyes and makes a in depth understanding. A silence fall as the rest take a nervous few moments in.
After a pause shiv speaks ..Tum kya chahti ho…? The girl nodds a yes yet her tears and timidness speaks over her action.
Uske saath rehna chahti ho? As shakes a yes in emotion shivs watches her with thought. His words were sharp and question upon question was only to determine her feeling. "Jis insaan ne tume itne dukh diya.. usko maaf karna chahti ho??" as the girl seems to fear shiv she deffers from talking yet shiv could read her emotion. under shivs presence she says nothing yet her tears say it all…
From a distance anupams expression creases, he is on the edge of steping in yet he knew shiv was doing the right thing. As for gauri her eyes too filmed with tears that she controlled. The main reason for server discomfort was view scars the girl carried. As her her duppata moved out of place it revealed horrific scars which made even the strongest person in the room cringe. Seeing the view in front of him made shivs hit the extent of fury inside yet his extior remained calm. His eyes were filled with a strong reasoning as he questioned her.
"Aur Agar usne fir se aisa kuch kiya toe?" Shiv looked upon the girls scars and then into her eyes…but not able to keep latch of her emotions.
The girl breaks out into tears which softens shivs expression. Her behavior expressed her feelings. She wanted to forgive her husband yet shiv didn't agree.
Seeing her weep he took a glance to gauri who was standing passively in the corner of the room. The tears of this girl made shiv feel a little uncomfortable, her pain angered shiv and compassion developed on his expression. Shivs eye contact for gauri was not enough to prompt her and so shiv speaks.- "Gauri" his tone of voice makes gauri jump to attention. She looks in his direction with question and gets a strong voiced answer "ise apne kamre mein le jaaon." Gauri nodding approvingly of shivs comments walks a few steps closer to the center of the room and takes the girl silently out of the room.
Watching them walk out there is a pause before shiv speak, walking the length of the room silently anupam knew his friend was hurt by what he had seen. How ever stong shiv kapoor was from exterior there was imesness sensitivety to his nature. Anupam waited for while for shiv to speak, he knew there was time before there was any need for him to intervine.
The three men watch shiv walk the length of the room intenstly… after some time shiv lets out what he was thinking.
Shiv: "Muje nahin lagta ke woh isaan uske laayak hai.
Agar waoh ek baar uske saath aisa karsakta hai toe baar baar…"
Devidas and the girls farther were silent on shivs words for them shivs words would be the final commandment yet anupam had his opinion which he was not scared to express.
"Shiv woah…" even before anupam was about to speak shiv was aware of what he was going to say. Jaanta hoon… main jaanta hoon ke tum kya kahoge
He was going to say that she loved him but shiv was already aware of it.
Still the more logical male mind inside him told him that the girl was better off without her husband. Just as another blunt silence fell on the moment gauri quietly re-ented the room.
All eyes fell in attention of this, gauri took a view distance steps and stood in the corner of the room but shiv watched her walk in something inside him told him that gauris opintion would be defining.
Gauri tum kaho…tumne kya lagta hai.? Shiv expression shows very much a determined expression, he knew gauris response would help yet she was a little hesitant to speak.
"Ji mein…mein kaise..?" feeling a little out of place and stature to speak in such manner gauri starts of with hesitance yet shivs response helps her further.
Shiv: "Ek aurat ke nazaryey se mein jaana chahta hoon ke tum kya soch ti ho."
With a pause gauri speaks, hesitant but along the way somewhere her words give her the courage to look into shivs eyes with devotion.
Ek aurat ke nazaariyey ki baat toe nahin jaanti lekin ek patni hone ke naate..
Jab ek gaaon ki ladki shaadhi kar ti hai toe apne pati ko apna sabkuch maanleti hai. Us ke sapne hote hai. Use kitna bhi dard kyun naa sehna pade magar woah umeed nahin chorti woh sapne dekh naa nahin chorti. Woah umeed aur sapne us laadki ka pyaar hai..aur woh pyaar ham tod de woh galat hai.
Gauris words left shiv feeling a sense of emotion within. He knew she was talking about herself too. Her everyword was spoken with emotion,feeling and devotion something that touched shiv and gave him a clearer view of things. gauris eyes were filmed with tears which only shiv noticed. Somewhere deep down gauris words made shiv feel guily of his own actions yet with a little thought he brushed it away as the matter at hand was not his. Giving an approving look to gauris words shiv made his decsition as the girl walked in passively behind the rest of them.
Although she was present only gauri was aware of it and stood beside her for comfort as shiv spoke. His words were directed to the girls farter yet he knew that the girl too was in the room yet maybe he had already intimidated her too much. "Mera failsla yey hai ke aapki beti ka paati is gaaon mein vaapas aa sakta hai lekin ek shart par.
Shart hai ke woah dono is haveli mein rahenge… ta ke mein un par naazar rakh sakoon."
Happy with the decision the girls expression takes to a smile.. something that shiv also sees and feels content in the fact that he had made the right decision.
Anupam proud of his fiend gives a glowing look towards gauri who too is content.
……………
one of the floors of the haveli and shiv sits in a room that he had not entered in years. To be fair it was more of an open space than a room. Open balconies gave of warm rays and brightness. The atmosphere was peaceful which was close enough the word rest as shiv was going to get. Anupam kept reminding shiv of how he needed to rest as per doctors instructions yet it wasn't really in shivs nature to do so. So in the form of escape from the nagging shiv walked the haveli and happen to walk into this room.
Sitting in the company of a grand piano, traditionally a lavish black shade shiv looked over it and like always thought over if he could still play or not..
Similar to his own at home where he had a framed picture to accompany his piano his farther stood a picture of his mother that made him smile. Just as shiv put his fingers to the keys he heard a familiar sound. That noise of shadow footsteps and jeweley was gauri. Turning to look at shiv sees gauris passive presence standing behind him as submissive as ever. Turning on his chair to get a better view shiv notices how gauri carries a shoal in her hands.
Gauris words are ever so soft as she speaks "Woah aapko thand lag rahi thi toe meine socha ke."
Shiv gives a comforting sort of expression at her care for him. He wasn't sure if a whole shoal thing was his style but as gauri was the one who had given it to him he accepted it with a 'Thank you". An awkward moment falls for gauri as she has nothing more to say she goes through a moment of uncertainty and then decides to leave. "Muje jaana chahiyey." Shiv accepts her leave with silence but as she turns around stop her. - "Gauri"
The way in which shiv calls her name had always made her heart skip a beat and it did the same at this very moment. She stopped at his call and turned around. Shiv noticed how her face always flustered when he called her name. This time around she went a shade of crimson as shiv watched her expression.
Shiv: "Kya tume lagta hai ke mere faisla sahi tha?" Shiv wanted to know if he approved of his decision yet shivs question was much more than it seemed on the surface. Within shivs words he was questioning weather gauri approved of the decision he had taken in her life. Weather she approved of him marrying her…after all he was the one who was responsible. A doubled up question was a way of revealing her feelings but gauri was aware of it this too. Her eyes mirrored an understanding of what shiv was asking of her.
Shiv watched gauri silently as for the first time she lifted her eyes to meet shivs expression. There was a certain glow in those eyes that presented immense feeling and devotion for shiv and her words were even more touching. "Aap ka faisla kabhi galat nahin ho sakta."
Gauri left with a touching statement that melted shivs guilt that was questioned within.
Turning to the framed picture of his mother shivs expression took to an innocent ease.
"Woah bohaot pyaar karti hai mujse, shyaad aapke bete ko bhi woh aatchi lagne lagi hai." …………
SORRY for the delay guys and also ive not been able to reply to your comments in detail—been in a total rush so please forgive any mistakes. Hope you like it. jagruti
Edited by jagrutid - 14 years ago
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