note for readers: hey guys thank you for all your comments on my last chapter..it feels like a long time ago now ..think it was the week before, sorry for not replying to your comments earlier...well what can I do you guys demanded from me an shiv ki gauri update last week so then got caught up with that ..but thanks guys loving your comments and here we go...(by the way replied to all of your comments...and loved each one of them so thanks..) but anyways more to the point heres your update!
"unki-siddat se" his with devotion
chapter 5
recap: As samar takes his leave for a business trip abroad he leaves the whole family in question of his decision in regards to shivangi. Unhappy with his relationship with shivangi samar tells the family that he will make his final words on the matter heard after he returns from his trip. During samars time away the whole family try there up most to help shivangi become what In there eyes and in samars eyes would be the perfect mother, bahu and wife. Ultimately the family falls In love with shivangi each one of them sees gauri in her and whole hardly wanting samar to change his opinions try to mold shivangi into gauri. From appearance to mannerism, speech to conduct every little detail about samar the family drums into shivangi. After days of this shivangi finally takes shape as gauri...still there are small elements that need improvement shivangis knowledge and language skills are continually been worked on and the rest is left up to her. Making the odd few mistakes here at there shivangi is partially transformed. Samar returns from his trip and is somewhat surprised to see shivangis transformation, seeing that the family had taken a liking to her and even the kids samar himself doesn't think much of it for him taking gauris place was something this girl could never do and calling shivangi to his room tells her that he has not yet made a decision about there relationship but will do shortly to which the familiy is happy but shivangi is still worried. In the short time of his return samars sees that shivangi had took on change she seemed to know of his little needs and proved for them without question, she seemed to have taken to the families hearts and was even learing to read and write both Hindi and English. Somewhat knowing of his families doings samar does acknowledge these changes but dosnt make too much of them until one morning when he catches the whole family addressing shivangi as gauri and that he disapproves at. Making his disappointment and disapproval felt he asks the family not to address shivangi as gauri in his presence to which shivangi with the rest of the family feel hurt and also conscious that maybe they had touched on a sentimental element for samar. Further to his disappointment samar finds that shanty is not well, appointing a doctor he leaves with worry for work and having given responsibly of shanti to aastha he leaves for office. Sometime later in the day and aastha needs to leave kapoor mansion and consults shivangi about it forgetting that shivangi maybe not be the right person for the job....
Aastha: "Who..mein aapko yey kehne aayi thi ke muje kuch kaam ke leighyey bahar jaana hai kya aap shanti ko kuch der mein unki dayay dengi..woh uske room pein padi hai." still tied up in thoughts shivangi unknowingly agrees and as time passes and shantis illness takes to a stronger level shivangi remembers aasthas words but still lost in depressed thoughts about samars displeasure at her shivangi takes a look at the time ten minutes to 7 and knowing that it was her time to leave for her night class she quickly enters shantis room with that same lost approach heading for the desk drawer without thought she picks up a tablet foiled yet fails to see that there is more than one In the drawer. Diluting the medicine In water she sits by shantis bed as she drinks it meekly but still thinking about her husbands words her thoughts don't play with her. Putting a weak shanti to sleep shivangi leaves for her night class half hearted with her encounter with samar in the morning thinking mostly about that she asks ramu kaka to look after shanti and then leaves. A few ours later and 8pm In kapoor industries head office. Sitting in the lavish abidance of his office samar takes a look at his wall clock and feeling somewhat tired thinks of heading home. Looking over his neatly organized desk the fact that three empty mugs of coffee sat on the table give away the fact that samar had been having a harsh day in genral..spending sometime regretting the way he had spoken to shivangi and the rest in official business work as well as his constant thoughts over his daughters illness things weren't good. Just as samar was about to get up from his desk and reach for his blazer his phone rings ...picking it up aastha is calling. Picking up the call with a certain tiredness rubbing his forehead samar answers.
Samar: "Hum..bolo aastha"
aastha: "bhaiya who..aap jaldi city hospital aajayey shanti ko admit kiya hua hai." samars expression turning deep with worry he acts with instance leaving everything behind he heads for the hospital.
….......
with samars worry failing to sense he walks up and down the corridors of city hospital his look somewhat deformed in a sense. His pink shaded shirt loosened..tie and lose of blazer all gave off the fact that samar had spent sometime in wait and when finally the call of relief comes when the doctor finally informs samar that shanti seriousness had been redeemed to a more stable condition samar feels a little better. Sitting at shantis side in the conventional sounding's of a blue hospital room he looks over his daughter in worry. The creases on his expression deepen yet a smile traces though on his lips when he sees shanti smiling back. Somewhat weak and in need of her farther shanti lies there with the comfort of her fathers hand aiding hers. Just as samar is about to interact with shanti the doctor walks into th room and samars attention is diverted with provoke from the doctor. "mr kapoor kya mein aapse kuch baat karskata hoon?" the doctor stopping behind shantis bed seems to carry a very serious look. Samar agrees to the conversation with the same seriousness. "ji doctor khaiyey." not wanting to take any chance with his daughters health samar is all ears for the doctor. With a little pause and a certain stress shaped looked samar notices that the doctor hesitates a little and then starts to speak. "mr kapoor baat yey hai ke aapki beti ko...i mean to say aapki beti ko bemari saroor thi magar tests show ke shanti ke bloodstream mein ek aur medication thi..jo hamne percribe nahin ki thi." samar looks confused waiting for a full explanation his pauses as the doctor continues. "yey davayi adults ko de jaati hai aur shanti ke condition mein potentially very deadly ho sakti thi." samar hearing so his expression carries even more of a worry. "aap kehna kya chahte hai doctor." samar looks quite intense the doctor puts things into more simplicity hoping samar wouldn't take It to aggressively.
Doctor: "Dekhyey mr kapoor jaahatak mein keh sakta hoon I think ke kahin bhool mein shanti ko galat davayi di gayi thi isleighyey uska condition is haad tak bada. Aayenda se khyal rakhyeyga please..this time toe baatch gayey magar agar agli baar kahin...
aap samaj rahe hai nah.." samar couldnt belive that this was the case, thanking the doctor all the while carrying a mixed expression his eyes filled with worry for shanti who was lying in his presence yet his face showed question..a very serious determination to find out why this had happened.
….. "tumse aisee galti ho kaise gayi aastha?!!!!" outside in the corridors of city hospital aastha found it hard to face up to samar. Hearing what he had to say she felt dreadful even fearful for what could have been and in a sate of her own had no words. Samar in complacently heading towards a certain anger..his presence gave of the irritation and even feeling of anger that was within him. Looking over aastha he demanded an answer which aastha felt scared to give him. Samars influence his anger was always something to be caustious of and now in the deepest phase of it aastha felt her self caught up. Kaho aaastha tumse aisee galti hue kaise..meine tume kaha tha shanti ka kyal rakhne aur agar aaj use kuch ho ja ta naa toe! Tumhe ho jispein mein bahorsa karsakt hoon aur tumne hein! Samar looked and sounded angry yet hurt..the fear he stirred was one thing but the fatherly element seemed to soften his outlook yet aastha dared not to answer back until samar was done with his words. As samar seemed discussed by the mistake aastha had made he seemed to carry his anger with him and walk away taking steps away from aastha..with his back to her he ignores her words until this certain comment he hears. "Bhaiya woah..mein ghar se bahar gayee thi. Toe.shanti ko davayi shivangi...shivangi bhabhi ne di thi." saying It with a certain hesitation to her words Aastha had been contemplating telling the truth for shivangis sake but It happened to slip out. Turing back after hearing aasthas comment samar didn't seem to pleased. An expression which left aastha worried as to how samar would react.
…............Back at kapoor house, dadaji speaks to an alternative doctor..taking him outside samars bedroom he thanks him for all his help. "thank you doctor saahab raat ke is vaqt aane ke leighyey." reassuring dadaji that shivangi would be alright the doctor takes his leave and dadaji takes up the chance to go and console shivangi. Walking into the guest room dadaji lays on a very weak and not to mention upset shivangi. Shedding tears she sits on the bed..seemingly looking like she had just changed from the wet into fresh clothes she was dressed In one of her old choli suits that had been her trade mark before her transformation. Huddled sitting on the edge of the bed in tears dadajis heart melted in seeing his gauri in this way walking towards her closer her took her head into his chest for comfort...stroking her hair he tried his up most to try and make her stop."dekho beta mein samar ki taraf se maafi mangta hoon." the whole focus to the matter was that samar had forgotten to send a driver to pick shivangi up from her night class and as a consequence she had spent several hours in the rain..as a result gathered a fever cold, become unconscious before anyone had got to her. Dadaji trying to explain the situation speaks hoping that shivangi would realize the circumstances in which this had happened. "beta samar ne tume jaan bhuj kar vaha nahin choda waoah to shanti ke tabyet kuch zyada hein kharab ho gayi thi toe use hospital admit karna pada toe is saab mein woah..bhul gaya hoga." hearing that shanti had been admited to hospital a worried expression took over her face which dadaji noticed.
Dadaji: "Tum fikar mat karo...doctor ne kaha hai ke tume aaram ki saroorat hai."
Shivangi: "Magar dadaji" shivangi taking a glance at dadaji wants to question shantis health in worry but dadaji has non of it handing shivangi the medication that the doctor had prescribed dadaji looks at shivangi who seems considerably weak herself to take it. "magar vagar kuch nahin agar tumari tabyet theekh nahin hogi toe tum shanti ka khyal kaise rakhon ki" shivangi accepting takes the drink and finishing It watches dadaji take away the glass and walk towards the door out of the room.. turning back dadaji adds a one last instruction telling shivangi to take rest which she accepts with a nod.
..As dadaji steps out of the room and adds closure to the door he notices samar, samar heading in his direction didn't seem too pleased. Noticing that distort appearance a look of tiredness, distress and undeniably the look that came before anger dadaji noticed how samar headed his way with a certain dominance. Stopping only to question "waoh ladki kaha hai?" dadaji knowing full well that samar was refereeing to shivangi hesitates a little. Wanting a bit more of an explanation to why samar was looking so furious dadaji tries his best but fails. "baat kya hai samar?" samar not wanting to answer ignores what dadaji is trying to tell him and walking past and predicting shivangi to be in the guest room he takes into the room without another word.
….experiencing a sharp thudding sound and seeing it to be the door opening and samar presence walking in shivangi shudders from her resting position on the bed partially siting back with the aid of the pillow samars sudden presence makes her react with instance..getting up from her slouched posture she quickly stands for samars presence. Her expression lowered as ever she waits noticing a stunned silence and a feeling of intensity, unpleasant atmosphere it felt as if samar would any Minuit announce his disappointment and the scenario was just so or even more intense than shivangi had first predicted. With a neutral silence and samars eye contact failing to sway from shivangi..the deepness in his expression showed all extents of disappointment, displeasure, anger and even disbelieve. His watch over her shivangi could feel, she could feel that something was not quite right yet dared not question it. Although after a few minuets of this uncomfortable silence the faint sound of rain could be heard from outside which added to the moment. carrying her own illness which was somewhat visible in her face shivangi took the courage of taking a glance up and within seconds dropped her gaze. Having noticed samars stern expression her confidence failed her and somewhat fearful having noticed her husbands displeasure she kept quite. In that second having noticed samars clothing and overall presence wet as per the rain outside.. she diverted her attention ever so silently heading towards the cupboard she took a few steps with the intention of collecting a towel for samar but was stopped in her tracks by samars words. "Tumari vajese meri beti hospital mein padi hai and you have nothing to say..!" shivangi turning with such obliviousness carried the look of innocence. Frightened by samars tone she found it hard to understand and reply to his words. He was blaming her for shantis condition that she didn't understand and replying with both a terrified expression and tone felt the chill when responding "ji..?." as samars anger seemed to enrage the loss of what ever patience he was maintaining until now was apparent. Walking closer to shivangi samar looked rather furious..his eyes showed a certain rage that scared shivangi yet with innocence she still looked at samar in question to what she had done. Her innocence yet fear of her husband swept across shivangis face...
"aise kya dekh rahin ho..jaise tume kuch paata naa ho!!" as samar yelled further shivangi eyes dwelled in softness, samars harshness was near enough reducing her to tears and scared of his dominance she hanged her head immediately trying to rectify what ever mistake she had made yet in samars mind his anger was jusfied to all extents she was the one responsible for his daughters near death experience and now she was acting oblivious to it. How dare she..no one had ever dared to something of this kind in regards to samar kapoor and that to act unknown to even what she had done that got to samar even more. His thoughts Entwining within his mind and anger welling up inside he watched her stuggle to come up with an answer which irritated him further "waoh..mein..." trying to explain her confusion..her fear .. shivangi did not get very far before samars anger took dominance.
Samar : "waoh kya...!!? tumari galti!!! bato..shanti KO TUMNE DAVAYEE DI..YA NAHIN!!" this was the extent to which shivangi could take samars shouting breaking down into a sense of nerves and even trembling at samars approach and stare shivangi simply nodded a yes..scared to samars reaction she sounded the word "ji" silently and as soon as doing so and taking a look up at samar by chance she was confronted by the up most anger..the lift of her expression..looking at her made samars anger boil..lifting his hand as to slap shivangi samar stopped it part way. There was something that stopped him and looking into shivangi eyes cupped with tears and expression of fear and undefinable innocence samar saw within that expression his wife and that stopped him. Dropping his hand he realized what he was actually about to do and the anger somewhat calmed. With shivangi breaking into silent tears the sound of silent sobbing samar watched over her with the same irritation yet less fueled with anger. For shivangi it felt dreadful she was experiencing the worst...the very first time her husband had raised his hand to her and too for something she didn't understand. Watching over shivangi samar seemed to feel no remorse.. "meri beti aaj tumare leighyey mar jaati!" samars comment shocked shivangi samars accusation was hurtful but as he went on shivangi realized and tears failed to stop.
Shanti ko galat davayee de gayee thi...tumari vajese se..agar use kuch ho jaata toe..Aisi galti hue kaise tumse...kaise hue.. samar stone of voice now sounded drowned..with a softer worry, still that stern approach to his mannerism yet a fatherly look of worry. As a few minutes of silence drowned the moment samar stood thinking over things still looking for an explanation whilst shivangi amongst all her fear and sadness found it within her to say something.. "aastha ne davay de ne ke leighyey kaha tha toe mein..." shivangi spoke with a trembling fear to her voice...finding it hard to put her words together she very meekly put words tried plucking up courage but samar didn't want to hear any of it.
"bas!!! aur kuch nahin suna chahta." Venting what ever was left of his anger samar put everything he felt into words. "Usne tume davayee de ne ke leighyey kaha aur tumne bina dekhe padhe de di!!! shivangi listen in silence, nervous with fear yet she knew hw was right. " nahin tum pahad toe sakti nahin ho toe tumse umeed hein kya." Tum meri patni ki jaaga kabhi le nahin sakti tum suna tumne!" that comment of samars really seemed to hurt shivangi, shed never tried to take gauri place to create a place of her own in samar life but samar seemed to have his own misjudgment. .kabhi gauri nahin ban sakti meri rai tumare bare mein sahin thi..tum ek achi ma nahin baansaki." listing to what her husband had to say shivangi felt a surge of regret and guilt. She knew she was wrong and it was her fault. She expected nothing more than bitterness from samar and that what she got. Listing in slience trying to control her tears she passivly stood in samar presence with her eyes lowered..she dared not look.fearful of the anger she would see.
"mein tumari shakal nahin dekh na chahta samji tum..mere samne aane ki galti mat karna..chali jaao yaha se yehi tumare leighyey behtar hoga." saying so with as much dominance as ever samar leaves the room..leaving shivangi with her guilt and tears.
….....................
The next morning and as the whole family come to realize the situation as per usual no one dared question and kapoor house and its members tried there best to act per there usual routine yet each and every member knew something was not quite right. In shivangis guest room shivangi passes her room up and down. Mainly from her wardrobe to the suitcase that sat on the center of the bed. Looking very much drained herself shivangi was not only suffering from her illness but also all the guilt and everything that had come in the form of samars words. She had not lived up to his expectations and that made her feel hatred for herself. Walking up and down the room collecting her clothes from in the cupboard and then walking across to place them in her suitcase the weakness could be seen clearly. Shivangis expression showed the traits of how much she had cried, the lack of sleep she had all night and her appearance showed that she had given up. Dressed in one of her old dresses..she looked much like she had done when first stepping into the house her hair tied back ..a drained look on her face the only glow seemed to be her sindhoor that made its mark on her forehead. Nothing was what It had been a few days back. Prateek sitting on the bed constantly watched shivangi and noticed all this in silence. "tum jaa rahin ho.?." she gave no and answer just carried on with her task yet to help shivangi spill her feelings prateek in sighted a conversation which seemed to have altera motives. "samar ne tume itna kuch kehdiya aur tum chup rahin?" still he got no response from shivangi, thinking this was going to be tuff prateek added. "usne tum par haath uthayay phir bi?..aisa todhi na hota hai samar aisa kaise kar sakta hai" saying it emphasize last bit prateek makes his comment sound somewhat against samar and he knew that would get to her."woah mere pati hai, une pura hak banta hai." shivangi had said somewhat strongly and thats just what prateek wanted he wanted that affection for samar to spill from shivangi.
"galti meri hai, muje saza milni chahiyey aur is mein galat kya hai. Muje aisaas hua hai ke mein unke laayak nahin hoon aur mein une aur pareshan karna nahin chahti." prateek could tell that shivangi felt strongly about this and getting her to change her mind would be hard..she was one to never go against her husbands wishes and now samar wanted her to leave she would do just that but prateek saw a certain deepness in shivangis eyes a newfound look or even love which had blossomed in the last few days and he just wanted to put that look of affection into words.
Prateek: "Ristha itna bura hai toe tum samar ko divorce kyun nahin deti..?" said ever so casually prateeks words had an aim but as ge noticed for the first time throughout the whole conversation shivangi looked at prateek with a seriousness more of a disapproval the kind of expression prateek had never seen from her till now.
"mein yeh baat kabhi soch hi nahi sakti prateek aur aapne.." shivangi stops part way her expression shows that hurt at prateeks comment but when she thought over it..it was only a suggestion which maybe she should have not taken so strongly but she had done and this showed her feelings for her husband. Shivangis expression softening into a sadness she takes a seat next to prateek, seemingly lost of all hope she looks at prateek as to explain herself.
Meanwhile as samar walks the corridors he stops on his way to the guest room and stops. Taking a look, a final glance at the papers he has in his hands he contemplates looking at the formality in front of him - divorce papers. This was what samar had decided last night in the mists of all that thinking and anger the outcome was this. Opening up the file samar reaches for a pen out of the inner lining of his suit and signs the papers. Closing the file casually he walks up to shivangis room the guest room but just as he is about to walk in he overhears shivangi talking to prateek....
"mein jaanti hoon prateek ke mein gauri ji ki jagyey kabhi nahin le sakti. Yey bhi jaanti hoon ke woah muje apni patni nahin maante magar woah mere leighyey pati ka darja saroor rakhte hai. Meine kabhi aaisi umeed nahin ki ke waoh muje pyaar kare magar apne aap se umeed saroor thi ke mein une pyaar karu. Patni hone ka, maa hone ka har farse nibhahoon. Magar shayad mujme hein kami hai. aap jaante ho prateek meine koshish ki thi... jisne muje itna kuch diya unse mein rishta kaise toah sakti hoon.." samar listening from just outside the doorway takes in shivangis words and starts to feel mellow within..his anger seemed to see a different side a side that shivangis words seem to bring out."mera har din unhein ke naam ka hota hai prateek, woah muje ek baar mud kar dekhle toe mere pura din muskurata hai" Prateek watching shivangis expression smile out even at the mention of that feeling he sees a certain glow on her face that he puts down as love on the other hand samar listens silently as shivangis words which seem to have there own impact on him."Unki nazar muje pein pad jayey toe itni kushi mehsoos hoti hai.." prateek seemed to smile at the comment maybe because he'd realized that she was in love yet she wasn't aware. "yaha tak Unke ghuze mein bhi muje ek apna pan nazar aata hai." as shivangi took a look at prateek a sincertily could be seen In her eyes "Insaab ke bina jee nahin sakti prateek."
"I see" prateek concludes shivangis words into one statement "..kyun ke tum samar se pyaar karti ho..??" but shivangi has a deeper response which makes both samar and prateek think upon shivangi..
"..kyun ke mein unki hoon .... puri shiddat se.."..prateek watches shivangi with a curiosity to her character, her innocence her devotion was all so commendable he had nothing to say..a smile of his appreciated shivangi whilst samar silently walked away having listened to everything he walked into his room..contemplating a little shivangis words seemed to roam around in his mind. In a very mixed feeling he walked towards gauris portrait for a second..looked at it for a sense of aproval and then walked silently to his desk throwing the papers in the waste basket he took a seat at his chair...contemplating..thinking.
….........As shivangi takes her leave from kapoor house, she pays her respects to each member of the family..all understanding the situation as to be samars decision don't question yet express there sadness. Shivangi gives her goodbyes to everyone expect samar worried of his anger and remembering his comment about not wanting to see her face she avoids disappointing him further and simply leaves taking with her samars portrait she leaves the house.
…...10pm and and as the rest of the family take to takes to there room as per the night samar sits in the louge. Somewhat lost with mixed feeling he spends time contemplating on the way he had reacted with shivangi..maybe he was too harsh? Not as able to see things clearly..all thoughts taking over he takes refuge in alcohol. Something unusual for samar yet responsibly he drinks within his limit and spends the rest of the time in his thoughts. Shivangis words had made him think...maybe the way he had treated her was unfair..she was his wife after all but then again his heart was always tied to gauri and no body else. Drowned in all these feelings and even a sense of stubbornness that he was right samar sat on his own..dwelling until prateek made his presence known.
Sitting down on a sofa parallel to samar prateek got straight to the point. "jab tumne aapne kano se shivangi ki dil ki baat suni aabhi bhi dosh de rahe ho use samar." samar had nothing to say he just glanced over prateek as he carried on talking.. "woh tumse pyaar karti hai samar tum use kuch nahin maante magar woah tume apna sab kuch maanti hai aur phir ek galti ke leighyey. ." prateeks last comment provoked samar to speak up and put down his drink .."uski ek galti se mein apni beti kho deta.." prateek could not ignore that because it was true but he could see that samar was feeling a little guilty..because inside that hard exterior samar kapoor was as compassionate as any man could ever be. His eyes showed his feelings the fact that he too regretted some things...regretted throwing shivangi out. "galti toe tumse bhi hue samar.." samar looked at prateek in question. "tum jaante ho samar shivangi bemaar hai kal raat ko tum driver bhej naa bhul gayey the toe waoh shardi se behosh hogaee..barish mein tumara instasaar kar rahi the... tumne kaise notice kiya hoga..tum toe us pein insaalm lagarahe the.. aur aaj bhi apni shehad ki parva kiya bina chali gayee." Listing to all this samar was somewhat surprised and also realized that he had made a mistake. Shivangi was ill..and still he didn't bother to even find out..he was the reason. Feeling guilty he thought over his mistake and how he had taken all his anger out on her..she was already unwell and he had made things worse. Samars approach after hearing this seemed to soften somewhat..getting up from his seat he grabbed his blazer and walked out.. only stopping when prateek made question to where he was going... "kaha jaa rahe ho samar?" as samar turned back ..."shivangi ko ghar laane.." watching samar leave the whole situation seen at prateeks point of view was something to smile at.
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