Shiv ki Gauri
Chapter 11
Recap: Shiv a bunch of flowers to give to a certain lady in room 801 blue diamond hotel but the receptionist tells him that the lady he is talking about is not at the hotel so he leaves leaves. Meanwhile gauri is walking the streets she gets to the mandir and decides to go and visit her dad and tell him about the recent incidents but when she gets there she is shocked to find shiv there as well. She avoids shiv by going into the mandir to do darshan. Whilst shiv stays with alok and explores her house…gauri had not returned for a considerable amount of time so shiv and alok go to find gauri and find her sitting on the mandir staircase. Shiv gets a call and stays behind to receive It whilst alok goes to talk to gauri. Alok notices gauri's strange behaviour but on questioning gauri denies all. Gauri had not finished her puja..alok insists on reopening the temple for her but instead she refuses and completes it by touching shiv's feet instead which was unknown to shiv as he is busy talking to a little girl. Shiv has to rush off when he gets another phone call. Later on in the day gauri gets a call from the receptionist at hotel blue diamond who asks gauri to come and pick up some things that shiv had forgotten there, getting there she finds that someone had already collected Shiv's things..so instead she decides to ask if shiv had booked a room and she finds that he has done but also with some woman..gauri sadded and shocked tells Prateek about everything to which Prateek tries to reassure her that its all a misunderstanding but she is not convinced right at that very moment shiv happens to be there having heard everything.
Gauri was feeling uncontrollably nervous, shiv had heard everything..what would his reaction be, sacred to face up to the situation gauri keeps her back turned to shiv whilst prateek trys to cover things up by smiling.
Prateek: "Nahi shiv ham toe sirf….aise hein, gauri wasn't feeling so well"
Shiv was having none of it.
Shiv: "Jooht mat bolo prateek"
Shiv: "muje gauri se akele mein baat karni hai
Prateek: "shiv everything is fine, its all sorted now"
Shiv: "LEAVE PRATEEK!!!!!"
Prateek gives her a reassuring look in response "I'm only outside" and then walked towards the door and stopped where Shiv was standing. Looking at Shiv Prateek could read what was going through his mind…it was anger concern and disappointment all rolled into one.
Prateek: "Shiv please don't…." Prateek stopped partway as he knew Shiv was not at all listing or was going to, he was standing with his hands in his pockets trying to maintain his normal self but his face was clearly showing hidden rage and concern. Prateek decides it is best that they both sort it out amongst themselves and he leaves.
There is nothing but silence in the room, the atmosphere was tense, Gauri was still standing with her back to shiv whilst shiv stood at the entrance of the room..quite a distance away from Gauri.
Gauri was feeling uncontrollably nervous, shiv had heard everything..what would his reaction be and it was even more terrifying now prateek had left, scared to face up to the situation gauri keeps her back turned to shiv, now that she was in shiv's presence she was trying incredibly hard to keep hold of her emotions and stop crying but it was of no use.
On the other hand shiv's thoughts were running him mad, his face depicted nothing but anger ..how could she even think that I would..everything he had heard was all erupting inside him as rage as he watched gauri standing idol no movement at all she did not even make an effort to explain her self, never mind explain she had her back to him which got to him even more Shiv saw it to more of a gesture of ignorance than fear.
Shiv: " Muje dekho gauri" is taraf dekho gauri!
Gauri didn't respond and shiv was losing his patience.
He could hear gauri's silent weeping. He walked up to gauri pulled on one of her sholders and turned her around..his anger softened a little as he saw gauri's fearful and distort expression…shiv had his hands wrapped around gauri's shoulders he was looking right at her, his touch made gauri tremble and she wouldn't dare make eye contact. Shiv was well aware of gauri's fear he could feel her trembling at his every move..but he overlooked it his anger was taking over his senses and instead of letting go of her he tightened his grip.
Shiv: "Mein saahi keh raha hoon naa , Is leiye muje dekhna bhi nahi chahtee… tumhe lagta hai ke…meine….. he stopped half way in between.
nahi muje tumare muhn se suna hai, kahon gauri kya lagta hai..abhi toe prateek ko batarahi thi..meine tumare saath kya kiya..??..bolo…"
Shiv was totally furious his eyes were filled with total rage as he stared at gauri… but gauri still wouldn't respond is was just crying looking down at the floor. She felt suffocated, shiv was so close..she was so scared, she couldn't differentiate between right and wrong for her self, how was she meant to answer him. Shiv's anger was out of control and she couldn't do anything about it.
Shiv: "Is ke phele ke mein apne aap se bhaar hojau tum mere saval ka javab doe gauri"
"Mere saval ka javab doe gauri !!!"
"MEIN TUMSE KUCH POOCH RAHA HOON !!!!" Gauri gave no response but shiv anger was becoming increasing aggressive..he began to tighten his grip on gauri and shake for a response.
"KAHO NA KE MEINE TUMARA BALAATKAR KIYA…YEH HI SOCH TI HO NA TUM!", gauri couldn't take it any longer and crying furiously she tried to move back away from shiv but shiv's grip on her was to strong as she tried to move away from him but shiv pulled her back harshly which tore the front of her saari revealing flesh and even more sadly it revealed deep scars and bruises just below her shoulders on her chest. Shiv had just that moment come to his senses the sight of gauri's scars bought him back to reality..in all his anger he had revealed buried wounds for gauri and made matters even worse then they were. It was such a shocking sight for shiv, he knew gauri was hurt depressed but seeing her scars for himself he realised just how horrific it was.
Prateeks words flashed back at him in that single moment: its not just mental scaring shiv..is haadthse ne use physically bhi scar kiya hai…just warning you l shiv woh is baat ko lekar bohot sensertive hai ….
Shiv was standing in total shock with gauri's saari piece in his hands….he
looked at gauri who was endlessly crying frightened with her eyes closed tightly tears were rolling out of her eyes as she shuddered putting her hands over her bare skin to hide the scars from shiv.
It was then that it hit shiv..in his rage he had forgotten everything, he was being totally inconsiderate towards gauri and looking at her in such grief, fight and having seen her in that state having seen her scars and how she was so vulnerable and hurt he realised how his approach towards the situation was completely wrong. He took a few steps closer to gauri still with her saari piece in his hands…he stared at gauri as he moved closer. Gauri had her eyes firmly shut. She was tremberling as shiv approached her closer and closer there was only silence just the sound of shiv's footsteps and gauri's silent crying.
Gauri: "Please…please..Nahi" all sorts of thoughts were going through her head, she was scared to think, what if she encountered the same horrific ordeal once again if for a second time her dignity was taken away from her , what if shiv…
Gauri: "plea….please…nahi" gauri could hear shiv's footsteps approaching closer, gauri moved back further and further away with each of shiv's footsteps until she hit the wall behind her.
Shiv stopped as he got right up to gauri, took the saari pallu which was in his hands and placed it back over gauri's shoulder to cover her. gauri could feel the material being placed over her skin, She was relieved when she felt warmth of it cover her skin. There was nothing but silence for a minuet as shiv stood looking at gauri. Gauri was still stood poised with her eyes still shut in fear, tears had even made there own place down gauri's cheeks and beads of sweat were running down her forehead. Shiv was continuously staring at gauri, looking at the pain on her face, the fear..he thinks to himself on gauri's reaction he contemplates on the fact that she thinks that he would do such a thing as rape her..and even a moment ago she was thinking the same thing..??that he would do that to her. There was distress and pain that he felt within him but also a sense of disappointment, anger towards her..towards the situation… towards her thoughts, he was feeling utter disgust at what she was thinking of him and that is what was causing a build of anger within him.
After a minute of mutual silence gauri opens her eyes to find shiv stood an inch away staring at her. shiv still maintained that very serious anger driven expression even though his eyes portrayed something else..they were filled with compassion and sadness.
Gauri stood encapsulated in shiv's presence, she couldn't avoid him in anyway what so ever he was stood so close staring right at her, staring not only at her but It was as he could see through her deeper down.. sensing her feelings and thoughts and even her scars had been revealed to him. Everything was out in the open..everyting she feared and wanted to hide was out there for him to see, she felt exposed and shiv could sense it. She stood trying to avoid Shiv but it was of no use. Shiv pulled up gauri's face and looked into her eyes, gauri tried hard but struggled to avoid shiv's stare:
Shiv: "Mein itna bhi gira hua insaan nahi hoon ke apni patni ke saath aisa kuch karoon."
Gauri was just continually crying as she looked into Shiv eyes….and before Shiv could say any thing else
There was a knock at the door.
Hearing the knock at the door Shiv moved away from Gauri at once and second later became aware of his surroundings he tried to snap out of his uncontrollable state of mind but he was not to successful in doing so his anger and distress was still visible on his face, he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to Gauri. Gauri wasn't aware of this at all she was overwhelmed by everything and was trying to control her self.
Shiv: "Apne asoon poch lo" he gestured the handkerchief up at gauri for a second time and this time hearing him she reluctantly took it from him and started wiping her tears.
There was another knock a the door
Shiv: "come in" the door opened and it was Prateek.
Looking at shiv and gauri he noticed the incredible amount of intensity between them which they were trying to hide. It was obvious that gauri had been crying, her face showed it all..it was much more sadness then it had done when he had left her.
Prateek: "sorry.. everything is ok isn't it", Prateek's was gesture more towards gauri then shiv, he noticed how distort and upset she looked.
Shiv nodded a yes.. "but we are not finished yet so…"
Prateek: "I know I'm sorry, magar mein gauri ko davay dene aya tha.. I take it she hasn't had her anti depressants." Behind pateek there stood a nurse with a tray carrying a glass of water and a sliver tablet sachet. The nurse walked in and left the tray on the table.
Shiv just stood staring at Prateek, he knew it was all just an excuse just to check up on them and even Prateek was well aware that Shiv would have sussed him out.
Prateek: "So ok I'll leave you to it" Prateek closes the door.
Once Prateek had left there was once again a tense silence.
Shiv walked towards the desk which was in the centre of the room, picked up the glass of water and diluted the tablet with the water and took it towards Gauri who was standing in the very same place she was earlier lent against the wall.
Shiv handed the glass to gauri without saying a word. Looking up from the floor..having looked at the glass she nodded negatively, she didn't want it.
Shiv: "Take it gauri!" shiv still got no response and he was becoming extremely annoyed.
Shiv: "aw I see kyunki tume abhi lagta hai ke meine tumare saath..!!! " in his building up anger shiv smashes the glass against the floor which makes gauri jump.
Shiv: "Tumne yey nahi socha ke agar mere aisa koi erada hota naa toe, meine aaj tak tumse door kyun raha..agar meine ek baar tumara rape kiya toe phir se bhi kar sakta tha…!!!! shaadhi ki raat hein tum pein mera haq jamasakta tha na..INFACT ABHI BHI CHU SAKTA THA TUME..PATI HOON NAA TUMARA!!!!!"
"you know what kyun naa haam yey saab yaha hein katam kar de!!!"
Gauri was too frightened to respond.
"jana chahtee ho naa tum..satchayee kya hai!!! , tumhe lagta hai ke tumara pati gunegar hai…lagta hai naa!!!! toe mein tumhe bata hoon!!!"
"Viase bhi tumhe toe lagta hein hai naa ke meine tumare rape kiya..lagta hai naa!!!!
To yey bhi janlo ke hah meine blue diamond hotel mein ek room book karvaya hai aur woh bhi ek ladki ke saath!!!"
Shiv: Satchayi jaana chahti ho naa toe chalo mere saath mein tumhe bata hoon .. Shiv grabed gauri's wrist and pulled her across the room and outside in to the corridor where prateek is standing. Prateek sees shiv the struggle between shiv and gauri and stops them.
Prateek "yey kya kar rahe ho shiv, gauri ko chodo..kaha ley ja rahe ho use" shiv ignores prateek and carries on right down the corridor, outside in to the car park, he opens the car door for her and forces her inside and gets inside the driver side. Prateek had followed shiv out to the car park and worried by shiv's anger and what he was going to do he to got into his car and followed shiv.
20 minuets of rash driving and silent anger, shiv stopped the car outside Hotel Blue diamond. Gauri was still In no state to think straight her shock and fright at shiv's behaviour was too much to take in.
Shiv: "ok gauri no more crying behave appropriately and I will respond in the appropriate manner…yehi chahti thi naa tum so then get out of the car and do as I say"
Gauri didn't respond but took on what Shiv had said and got out of the car. Both of them entered the hotel and walked into the reception desk.
Shiv: "Can I have keys to my room please, Mr Kapoor room number 801"
Reseptionist: "sure sir" the receptionist opens a drawer to find the keys
"Sir..im afraid I don't have the keys, but mere khyal se yey room abhi vacant hai so aapki partner shayad room mein hai."
The words "aapki partner" struck gauri really hard..she jus stood in utter despair waiting reluctantly behind shiv.
Shiv: "ok thank you." Shiv began to walk towards the hotel rooms and gauri followed him behind until they got to room 108. shiv was just about to open the door when he took a look at gauri who was standing a few steps behind him. Shiv had no expression on his face..just traits of anger which had now seemed faded. He ignored gauri who clearly showed a hesitancy to go in there..and instead gave a more forceful look as he opened the door.
Gauri stepped in to the room to find a woman sitting in bed covered in layered blankets and sitting next to her was someone who looked like a doctor. gauri didn't recognise the woman but the lady looked as she knew gauri. Shiv walked in behind and closed the door.
Shiv: "Dr aap ja sakte hai ...thank you" the doctor leaves.. the woman sits up in bed looking at gauri..and then shiv
Woman: Kya baat hai shiv, kya hua ..itne ghuse mein kyun ho..aur yey, the lady looked towards gauri with a questioning look.
Shiv interrupts before the woman could carry on : "tum gauri ko bataon ke hamara rishta kya hai"
The Woman looks at shiv really confused: "what are you talking about shiv???"
Shiv: Baton use ke tum kaun ho!!
Woman: "magar kyun shiv, baat hai kya hai"
Shiv: "just tell her!!!!"
Woman: "mein kaya hoon……"
Shiv: "aur kahon, tumara rista kya hai mujse "
Kaya: "mein tumare bhai ki wife hoon, samar ki patni..tumari…
It was then that it gauri realised samar ki patni….????????
Kaya: magar yey saab kyun pooch rahe ho"
Shiv: Kuyn ke gauri ko yey lagta hai ke mere koi affair chal raha hai! Aur yey hein nahi use yey bhi lagta hai ke meine uska ghunegar hoon..mein uska rape kiya.!!! Shiv's anger was gradually building up as he tried to explain; before he could go any further…
There was a knock at the door.
Shiv paused on hearing the knock and all three of them looked towards the door. The door opened, it was the doctor "Kya mein aap se baat kar sakta hu Mr Kapoor." Shiv had enough he was trying his level best to keep control but it was too much.
Shiv: "if you must!", Shiv replied in a very irritated tone and then walked out of the room to go and talk to the doctor.
Gauri was stood totally overwhelmed and not to mention confused with what she had heard. She didn't know what to think, she was still shocked to hear that the woman in front of her eyes was samar's wife and not just some woman that he was having a relationship with as she was lead to believe.
Kaya looked at gauri who was looking incredibly upset yet bewildered out of place stood in the corner of the room. in her head kaya put it all done to shiv's behaviour, she knew it was probably all his shouting and screaming that had been the reason for her state.
Kaya tried to make gauri feel better by smiling but she knew that that was going to be of no use gauri's sorrows looked to be much more deeper than first seen on her face and It would take much more than a smile to make her feel better, "kadhi kyun ho, yaha betho…its ok shiv nahi hai naa..you can relax. Kaya gestured gauri to come and sit next to her and gauri did just that. Gauri looked at kaya in couriosity…
Kaya: "Gauri aisa kuch nahi hai belive me, mein Kaya hoon samar ki biwi trust me, woh toe tumare hadse ke bare mein jane ke baad meri tabyet kuch theek nahi hai is leiye. Mein janti hoon gauri jo samar ne tumare saath keiye woh bohot galat hai magar jo tumare saath hua shiv nahi tha samar tha. Aur yey pheli baar nahi hai ke samar ne asia kuch kiya..woh toe…
Kaya paused; a deeper sadness took over her face as she spoke about samar.
Kaya: Mein sirf itna keh rahi hoon ke tumhe galat faime hue hai..aisa kuch bhi nahi hai.."
Gauri was really overwhelmed to be hearing this, she was wrong all along, that shiv had never done anything of sort she was thinking of. Numerous questions were going around in her mind, this was the right time to have them answered. After a considerable amount of hesitation she managed to ask: "Phir woh pendent???"
Kaya: Woh samar ke paas tha..usne shiv ko diya tha yey keh kar keh yey mera hai..yey saab uski chal thi gauri aur kuch nahi.
Gauri: Aur… Aur… woh phone calls??
Kaya: "Yey calls mere the…shiv muje regularly phone karta hai mere health ke bare mein pooch n eke leiye..aur kuch samar ke bhi, woh abhi bhi shiv ko phone karta hai, apni baat manvane keliye… jail se choot n eke leiye woh kuch bhi kar sakta hai.. magar ham tumhe kuch nahi bata sakte kyunke agar tumhe pata chala toe …
Pause…. Ke samar jail mein bhi hokar apni chale chal raha tha toe tum…
..shiv nahi chahta tha ke tume aur taklif ho is leiye hamne yey saab chupaya tumse, is mein shiv ki koi galti nahi hai gauri."
Gauri just sat In shock at what she had experienced, yey saab ek galat faime hai??? When she thought about it all made sence, phonecalls from the hotel, the pendent, samars phonecall it was all just a big misunderstanding. She had blamed shiv for no reason and her regret for that was building up uncontrolaby..she had accused him of rape without knowing any of the facts..she had accused him of adultery.
Gauris wordwind of thoughts were interrupted by what sounded like a ringtone, kaya and gauri both looked around to find shiv's phone left on the bed. Both of them looked at it hesitantly:
UNKOWN NUMBER CALLING….
Kaya looked at gauri: "gauri phone uthao" gauri nodded negatively at kaya and then a second of contemplation and she picked It up.
Although she picked the phone up she did not say anything, she was in no state to talk to anyone after a short pause the caller on the other side:
"Shiv…shiv….aw..i see ke your speechless aaj koi gali nahi dene hai…well .what can I say, mere ek jhoot ne tumar zindagi ke kya halat kar di…..or shall I say gauri ke kya halat kar de…bichari yey samaj ne lagi ke tumne uska rape kiya………".
On hearing these words gauri froze, she knew that the person on the other side samar she was shocked by what he had said a single tear drop rolled out of gauris eye as she listened…it was true it was samars plan all along and she had fallen for it. Gauri felt so ashamed inside..so many people had tried to assure her that Shiv was not responsible but she overlooked them all and doubted him. Kaya overheard samars voice and took the phone off Gauri and rejected the call at once.
Kaya could read gauri's expression, it was just sheer guilt and shock and sorrow. Just as she was about to try and console gauri, shiv walks in and gauri and kaya both get up. Gauri moves back into her more enclosed posture avoiding shiv and she goes over everything in her head again and again.. shiv's words prateek's reassurance everything comes back to her in the form of tears.
Kaya: mein abhi ati hoon, kaya walks past Shiv and out of the room.
Shiv looks at gauri to see she was still with tearful eyes, looking at her he assumes that she had been ignorant towards even kaya's explanation.
Shiv: "Abhi vahi soch rahi ho naa!!!…"
Gauri was dying to make her confession tell Shiv everything to apologise for doubting him, but Shiv did not give her a chance to speak and she couldn't bring herself to speak up in front of him, instead she just stood quietly listening to what Shiv had to say and now even his anger did not hurt as much because it was clear within her mind that he was not to blame, if anyone was to blame she felt it was only herself. Regret was the dominant feeling within her..it hurt her to think that she was the reason for her husbands distress.
Shiv: "tum janti ho gauri yey saab hone se pehle mein yey soch tha ke syaad In kuch dino mei n mein tumse…pyaa….."
shiv didn't finish off, he just stared at gauri with eyes filled of compassion which gauri didn't notice as she was looking away from him but she had realised how his tone softened, like he was trying to tell her something, something personal.
Shiv: "Tum nahi samjongi….
…maybe mein galat hu, the wrong person for you. Is leiye toe tumne mere baare mein aisa soch leiye. tumare nazaro mein meri kya aimeat hai gauri?..... is baat ka jabvab bhi nahi de sakti naa tum, mere kisi javab ka saval ka javab nahi de sakti..nasre ootha kar bhi nahi dekh sakti naa muje. Kya mein itna bura hoon?
Afsos toe is baat ka hai gauri ke shaadhi ke baad meine tumhe apni zindagi maanleiya magar aaj pata chala ke tumare leyiye mein.. kuch nahi..kuch bhi nahi.."
Shiv walks out of the room leaving gauri alone with her guilt and tears.
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