Joke Junction #12 - Page 2

Judge: I'm giving you a short sentence: ten years. Defendant: That's not short! Judge: Yes, it is. "Ten years." That's two words.

The police are looking for a man with one eye named Smith." "What's the name of his other eye?

A blonde got pulled over. The cop said, "Please identify yourself." The blonde pulled out a mirror, looked in it, and said, "Yep, it's me."

Cop: You need a permit to fish here. Fisherman: That's OK. I'm doing fine with a worm.

Son: Are worms good to eat? Dad: I wouldn't think so. Why? Son: There was one in your soup

Bill: When I grow up, I'm going to be a cop and follow in my Dad's footprints. Will: Your Dad's a cop? Bill: No, he's a burglar.

Son: Mom, I just knocked over the ladder! Mom: Run and tell your father. Son: I think he knows. He's hanging from the roof.

Mom: I told you to tell me when the water began to boil. Son: Yes, and I'm telling you. It was 2:35 pm.

One night a man knocks on a door. Man: I'm so sorry but I ran over your cat and want to replace it. Lady: How are you at catching mice

Woman (on phone): Doctor, my son just swallowed a pencil! What should I do? Doctor: Use a pen.