Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 4 | A/N on Pg 70 - Page 45

Originally posted by: ranogill

Wonderful chapter. Now they have both standing at the crossroads. Where life will take them nobody knows.But i feel that roles are reversed. Now Arnav has to do the efforts which Khushi used to do to keep this marriage intact. As Arnav said that at the end of six months who know what will happen. Khushi may want to go for divorce. If Arnav wants Khushi in his life then he should be prepared to express his thoughts and be prepared to woo his wife back as he got about five months.

Now Khushi join the new job and venturing out. She may discover that there is life beyond Arnav. If that happen then Arnav will get what he wanted all along, a lonely life and lot of money and can have as many as one night stands he wants. If he wants that though. Let's see.

As for revenge on Lavanya and Manali it will be fun to read but my main focus will be on Arnav what he do about his marriage. WONDERFUL STORY.

Thank you so much rano for your support always ❤️

Khushi discovering the fact that the world doesn't start and end at Arnav is not only right but necessary. Even if the relationship was all rosy. Arnav was still functioning without Khushi even though he was in pain, but Khushi went on a complete autopilot, uprooting her whole life and going away. What happened to her is sad, but if this chapter of her life can teach her that she is enough on her own then it will be all worth it :)

Originally posted by: Learrntowrite

My guess is, she did have a few friends, but Arnav is something she doesn’t discuss with anyone.

I’m basing this on the fact that their last anniversary party was extremely exclusive and yet Khushi’s friends from the NGO were present. That implies that she did infact have friends she considered close enough to make the cut in the guest list. Also the way Arnav had casually chatted with Megha, he is aware of her friends too. She was also comfortable teasing him and all. So she did have friends.

She was also the one who organised karwa chauth puja and there were a lot of people. If anything, I think Arnav has only 4 friends and the others are Khushi’s friends 😂🙈

but what needs to be noted is when the divorce saga happened, Khushi ditched EVERYONE. Including Payal. She didn’t care for anyone before turning her phone off for a whole month. She did have friends but Arnav was just everything. She also didn’t need to resign from Udaan but she was just so shaken by the whole thing that she went away. Even Arnav was shocked she was uprooting her whole life 💔

Now I hope, she gets a life beyond Arnav. But I also hope Arnav gets a little jealous. That man needs some serious shaking up 😭

This is right observation about Khushi's friends. She had people to call her own already and she was always focused there. But she did have friends like megha.

Hownever no megha or payal mattered when Arnav broke her heart. She left everything. That's not healthy. And that is also hurting her. It's the absolute loneliness.

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Arpita,

I have had it with this guy! I am absolutely frustrated at his inability to communicate. This entire logic of I cannot show my vulnerability, my love, or my true feelings because it will seem fake is beyond me. So what's the other choice? Not saying anything and letting Khushi confirm that everything that he thinks will look fake is actually fake?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN?

I wanna rage at him and I wanna really put some sense into his head and have I already mentioned therapy? I feel like he needs a "dimag ki batti jalao" moment. Otherwise he is going to keep repeating the same mistakes he did. Ugh, I am so mad at him!

You know what truly breaks my heart though? It's the following line and the stark contrast it presents:

"He may have picked his battles in the world, but here he could lay down the burden of his armour."

He comes to Khushi and confesses his entire of guilt of coming late, not being there for her, he is communicating, baring his soul when it does not come naturally to him. Then why does he not do that in the present? Is his guilt really so big that he does not remember how easy it was to lay down the burden of his armour at her feet? And you know while I am typing this, I am thinking, oh he must be think she doesn't deserve any more burdens from him... Wow, what came first? A chicken or an egg?

Feels a lot of guilt for not giving her a baby => Hurts Khushi by not communicating => Feels a lot of guilt at being wrong about his assumptions => Does not communicate because he does not want to hurt her anymore?

Does anyone else see a vicious cycle? Does he see it? Oh god, please send him to therapy. Please please let him have his epiphanies. Someone please tell him to not decide for Khushi what she is capable of bearing. She is capable of judging whether his vulnerability, his feelings, his guilt are real or not. Someone please tell him to not make that choice as well for Khushi. To trust a woman who has always opened her arms for him. I am so mad. I had hoped he would have learnt something after the last chapter, but apparently, he still has the ability to fck up more!

And is there really any doubt that she is thinking that he was so ready to give her up? Did he tell her how really horrible it was for him to give her up? That how he arrived at that decision? I cannot. I have had a lot of empathy for this guy so far, but his communication skills really frustrate me and I had thought he had reached a point where he would now realize what needed to change.

Fine, he wants to leave the decision for their future with Khushi. But damn it, Khushi should be given all the facts first. Khushi needs to know the whys and the hows of what he has been feeling. And yet, what does he really do? Has an almost cold conversation with her asking her what she wants! I am so disappointed in the choice he made in the aftermath, I cannot even begin to tell you. And this is after I had grieved their relationship last chapter. So then, it means I had really not lost all hopes at all. That some part of me still hopes this will work out and that hope is what makes me so angry at him!

Okay my Arnav rant is over!

Khushi on the other hand - Arpita your pen is compelling. Her pain, her numbness, her year's worth of patience all of it in your words has left me with a stupid huge lump in my throat. A woman who took away the pics so the staff wouldn't find it? Where does her selflessness end? How will Arnav EVER measure up to this kind of love? Can anyone?

But it looks like Khushi has reached the end of the tether too. Now, in the present, I don't think she is ready to hide any more photos for Arnav's sake! Because now she realizes how much it really hurts. The most heartbreaking line for me was the fact that her pain became real, because she was not missing Arnav anymore. Her pain became unimaginable because she was treated the way she was, not because Arnav fell in love with another woman, but because he did not trust her enough to communicate with her and tell her what was bothering him. Because it was, according to her, easy for him to let her go.

"The guards went up again. The one person she ran to without any hesitation now warranted strength to even face him."

If I had thought the last chapter had broken me, I was wrong. Because it was this one line, that absolutely killed me. That a woman who has loved with such purity, with such devotion could feel like this about the man she gave her everything to. I just don't know where they go from here, and it kills me.

The chapter has left me with a distinct feeling of premonition, the new entry notwithstanding.

I totally get the rage Akansha.😂

I warned you guys. If you thought Arnav made a mess in guilt till now, then just tighten your seatbelts. LOL🤣

And I see so many of you frustrated with his choice to not communicate anymore. Trust me I know how annoying that looks. I'll try to answer as best as I can. Summarizing my points for all of you in the same answer because I believe you guys had question on the very same lines ❤️

==============================================================================

I'll come to your observations about Khushi first. Yes, she was mindful enough to take away the pics even when she was utterly devastated. Doing things that are right by Arnav comes as naturally as breathing to her. She has not thought from her point of view first in a long long time because she was sure that the person she was doing it all for, also loved and cared for her. That he is incapable of ever hurting her. This is the reason she was willingly ready to let go of months of rude behavior and negligence.

Which is why her heartbreak seems so profound. Arnav said in one of the chapters. Amanika didn't only break his heart, she broke his trust. Khushi feels the same. This is also why that line you mentioned is there. It will require a lot of strength from her to face Arnav and that is a sickening feeling. He was her everything. He was her go to person. He took that away from her. its debilitating.

========================================================================

Coming to Arnav now.

Both Arnav and Khushi's reactions here come from a personal place for me. In the 12th chapter, Arnav told her all the reasons he hurt her. He literally gave his actual reasons. That he was letting her go because he thought she wanted children more than him. That he was trying to do right by her only. Went on to say you have the right to ask anything of me. everything that you guys said in your comments down the line, he said it all as best as he could in that situation.

But every time Khushi had a counter. Every time Khushi asked then why did you run away? Why did you hurt me? Why didn't you stop with Lavanya? - Arnav had sat there silently because he really does not have the answers to her rebuttals.

The thing that will sting Khushi the most, is her asking how could you hurt me and Arnav having no answers whatsoever. He did hurt her. Knowingly. He did take her for granted. How much she mattered was the realization after Khushi left. Even without Lavanya, the notion was cemented in Arnav' head. And when Khushi is questioning the basis of it all, the only thing he can say is that he made a mistake.

But it is never easy to trust a person who was so willing to hurt you after you trusted them with your heart. I think one of the very first discussions that happened on this FF was me engaging with someone and agreeing that relationships never go back to what they were after this kind of upheaval. After cheating which is what both Arnav and Khushi know has happened in addition to all of the other crap Arnav pulled.

The only extra thing he can say is that Khushi, it also hurt me to let you go. That it was not easy by any measure. That you matter a lot.

But that would sound marvelously hollow to Khushi who knows that Arnav still went through it. Based on a notion in his head. It hurt her so much to be put through this whole ordeal. Arnav can say it hurt me too and all Khushi have to say is you still went through it. You still kept me in dark. And he would have no answers. He can only hope that Khushi buys his broken apology, because he does not have a solid answer to heal her hurt. Every wound and every question she asked is justified and Arnav has no answer other than saying I made a mess.

And I know just how hollow anything Arnav says will sound to Khushi because I have been at the receiving end of a similar apology. Words don't mean anything when you can't shake the feeling that I know all the reasons, but this person still chose to hurt me. Actions are the only thing that will salvage something, but not everything. Never everything.

Arnav's major realizations came after Khushi left. He is also the one who wanted nothing more than a divorce at a time (even though his reasons were to do right by both Khushi and himself). He is the one who was already done with the marriage in his head. Imagine being Khushi and finding out and this was the thought going on in your husband's head for months while you were stressed about his well-being because separation is something that would never even cross your mind in a million years.

This is the man who didn't speak properly to her for months. And now that he has realized he needs her, he gets to say all that he wants? Khushi was clear with both her body language and vocals - get away from me and I don't want to listen to anything. Just tell me what needs to be done and I'll do that because I have no other choice.

Also, Arnav is still dealing with the guilt of sleeping with another woman. It wouldn't let him breathe in the same room as Khushi. He told her I could not look you in the eye. If he lets that guilt take over, he will crumble again. He has to deal with that even now. I don't think Arnav can deal with it. ASR might.

===================================================================

And now...

Khushi's hurt has grown far beyond Arnav. Its every relationship, the very foundation of her life that is shaken. She is realizing that what she wants or thinks does not matter to anyone. A person that broken cannot sustain a relationship. Thus, her thoughts- that Ratna Kaki I don't have the strength anymore to stand by a man who made such mistakes.

Arnav can cry in front of her the way he cried in front of their apartment, and Khushi will forgive him. Not because she will start trusting him again, but because 'Beggars Can't be choosers' and 'She could not leave so she didn't leave.'

He knows that his tears still affected him and Arpi, as you pointed out so well, he wiped them because Khushi would not even let out her hurt if she saw him getting hurt with her words.

And I believe a man like Arnav, who knows what self-respect means to a person, would not do that to a woman who has to choose him despite all the hurt he has caused her because she has no other way. That's all he has thought about. He has ruined her self-respect in her eyes for loving him the way she did.

So as readers we might look at it in the way that Arnav didn't communicate with her before, and he is not communicating with her even now. But there is a beautiful and ironic second side of this coin. A different way to look at it, if I may. Arnav didn't give her a choice before. He is enabling her to have one now.

Also, I don't think Khushi's love for Arnav has died. It is too strong to wither away in one storm. That's not the important question. it is not her-love-for-him that has taken a hit. It's the trust. it's the respect.

It's knowing that this person may claim to love me, but he has it in his himself to hurt me.

There is a notion that I believe in.

Love doesn't die in a day, but respect does. And it perfectly explains why love can stay but people shouldn't.

Love doesn't die in a day, but respect does. And it perfectly explains why love can stay but people shouldn't.

Your these two lines reminded me of a very old video. Sharing it here.

https://youtu.be/PbkI4onfJ14

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

I totally get the rage Akansha.😂

I warned you guys. If you thought Arnav made a mess in guilt till now, then just tighten your seatbelts. LOL🤣

And I see so many of you frustrated with his choice to not communicate anymore. Trust me I know how annoying that looks. I'll try to answer as best as I can. Summarizing my points for all of you in the same answer because I believe you guys had question on the very same lines ❤️

==============================================================================

I'll come to your observations about Khushi first. Yes, she was mindful enough to take away the pics even when she was utterly devastated. Doing things that are right by Arnav comes as naturally as breathing to her. She has not thought from her point of view first in a long long time because she was sure that the person she was doing it all for, also loved and cared for her. That he is incapable of ever hurting her. This is the reason she was willingly ready to let go of months of rude behavior and negligence.

Which is why her heartbreak seems so profound. Arnav said in one of the chapters. Amanika didn't only break his heart, she broke his trust. Khushi feels the same. This is also why that line you mentioned is there. It will require a lot of strength from her to face Arnav and that is a sickening feeling. He was her everything. He was her go to person. He took that away from her. its debilitating.

========================================================================

Coming to Arnav now.

Both Arnav and Khushi's reactions here come from a personal place for me. In the 12th chapter, Arnav told her all the reasons he hurt her. He literally gave his actual reasons. That he was letting her go because he thought she wanted children more than him. That he was trying to do right by her only. Went on to say you have the right to ask anything of me. everything that you guys said in your comments down the line, he said it all as best as he could in that situation.

But every time Khushi had a counter. Every time Khushi asked then why did you run away? Why did you hurt me? Why didn't you stop with Lavanya? - Arnav had sat there silently because he really does not have the answers to her rebuttals.

The thing that will sting Khushi the most, is her asking how could you hurt me and Arnav having no answers whatsoever. He did hurt her. Knowingly. He did take her for granted. How much she mattered was the realization after Khushi left. Even without Lavanya, the notion was cemented in Arnav' head. And when Khushi is questioning the basis of it all, the only thing he can say is that he made a mistake.

But it is never easy to trust a person who was so willing to hurt you after you trusted them with your heart. I think one of the very first discussions that happened on this FF was me engaging with someone and agreeing that relationships never go back to what they were after this kind of upheaval. After cheating which is what both Arnav and Khushi know has happened in addition to all of the other crap Arnav pulled.

The only extra thing he can say is that Khushi, it also hurt me to let you go. That it was not easy by any measure. That you matter a lot.

But that would sound marvelously hollow to Khushi who knows that Arnav still went through it. Based on a notion in his head. It hurt her so much to be put through this whole ordeal. Arnav can say it hurt me too and all Khushi have to say is you still went through it. You still kept me in dark. And he would have no answers. He can only hope that Khushi buys his broken apology, because he does not have a solid answer to heal her hurt. Every wound and every question she asked is justified and Arnav has no answer other than saying I made a mess.

And I know just how hollow anything Arnav says will sound to Khushi because I have been at the receiving end of a similar apology. Words don't mean anything when you can't shake the feeling that I know all the reasons, but this person still chose to hurt me. Actions are the only thing that will salvage something, but not everything. Never everything.

Arnav's major realizations came after Khushi left. He is also the one who wanted nothing more than a divorce at a time (even though his reasons were to do right by both Khushi and himself). He is the one who was already done with the marriage in his head. Imagine being Khushi and finding out and this was the thought going on in your husband's head for months while you were stressed about his well-being because separation is something that would never even cross your mind in a million years.

This is the man who didn't speak properly to her for months. And now that he has realized he needs her, he gets to say all that he wants? Khushi was clear with both her body language and vocals - get away from me and I don't want to listen to anything. Just tell me what needs to be done and I'll do that because I have no other choice.

Also, Arnav is still dealing with the guilt of sleeping with another woman. It wouldn't let him breathe in the same room as Khushi. He told her I could not look you in the eye. If he lets that guilt take over, he will crumble again. He has to deal with that even now. I don't think Arnav can deal with it. ASR might.

===================================================================

And now...

Khushi's hurt has grown far beyond Arnav. Its every relationship, the very foundation of her life that is shaken. She is realizing that what she wants or thinks does not matter to anyone. A person that broken cannot sustain a relationship. Thus, her thoughts- that Ratna Kaki I don't have the strength anymore to stand by a man who made such mistakes.

Arnav can cry in front of her the way he cried in front of their apartment, and Khushi will forgive him. Not because she will start trusting him again, but because 'Beggars Can't be choosers' and 'She could not leave so she didn't leave.'

He knows that his tears still affected him and Arpi, as you pointed out so well, he wiped them because Khushi would not even let out her hurt if she saw him getting hurt with her words.

And I believe a man like Arnav, who knows what self-respect means to a person, would not do that to a woman who has to choose him despite all the hurt he has caused her because she has no other way. That's all he has thought about. He has ruined her self-respect in her eyes for loving him the way she did.

So as readers we might look at it in the way that Arnav didn't communicate with her before, and he is not communicating with her even now. But there is a beautiful and ironic second side of this coin. A different way to look at it, if I may. Arnav didn't give her a choice before. He is enabling her to have one now.

Also, I don't think Khushi's love for Arnav has died. It is too strong to wither away in one storm. That's not the important question. it is not her-love-for-him that has taken a hit. It's the trust. it's the respect.

It's knowing that this person may claim to love me, but he has it in his himself to hurt me.

There is a notion that I believe in.

Love doesn't die in a day, but respect does. And it perfectly explains why love can stay but people shouldn't.

Thank you for your detailed response,Arpita. I nodded my head through all of it.

The confrontation chapter covers that and most importantly overlays that with Khushi's personality.🤩

I am glad that you brought up two things

A) Arnav actions affecting his wife trust,respect and dignity...something I have felt more important than La episode and written from the very first few chapters of this ff.

Also to me the Karva chauth of the past (added in this chapter) was a reflection of the state of their relationship..and he getting very comfortable with Khushi always understanding.

B) love does not die this quickly..but trust does take a major hit. 🤩

I also understand your view/experience that anything he says will sound hollow and fall flat. But I still think he needs to tell her something 😘 It is not to lessen what he has done but for me it is more for her that decade relationship is not false, for her move on and find closure eventually .

I will share an anecdote when you have finished the story

Hi Arpita,

Thank you for that detailed reply. I guess, exactly like Shraddha, I too was nodding my head throughout the read. I honestly understood why Arnav could not speak here. And I definitely saw this:

"So as readers we might look at it in the way that Arnav didn't communicate with her before, and he is not communicating with her even now. But there is a beautiful and ironic second side of this coin. A different way to look at it, if I may. Arnav didn't give her a choice before. He is enabling her to have one now. "

My initial reaction to the first read of this chapter came from an insane and anxious urge for them to fix everything, and for Arnav to redeem himself as soon as possible. For that pain that I feel for Khushi to go away ASAP. For him to beg for forgiveness here. For Khushi to know everything we know. Because for so many chapters so far, we have seen how Arnav has struggled. And I felt, quite unreasonably of course, that if and only if Khushi could read what we read, maybe it would help her. Maybe it would give her some closure. Maybe it will at least help her understand his intentions were not wrong. So that ONE DAY (not today) she may forgive him. You shared that you have been at the receiving end of an apology like this one. I think the opposite is true for me. I have been at the receiving end of silence. And the denial of closure for me was a bigger torture than the whole truth might have been, honestly. So I guess, some of that frustration as well transported here.

But yes, the way these characters are etched, and the way your Khushi has been written so far, I completely and wholeheartedly agree that right now she does not deserve to take care of or handle Arnav's guilt. It is a disservice to her.

I think like -Arpi- mentioned in the previous comment:

"Khushi is on a path of self-discovery but it's going to come at a cost. Right now, that cost seems to be Arnav and I am not sure as a reader, I am willing to pay that price."

And that is where my insane need for Arnav to be vulnerable and tell her, or somehow show her his entire thought process comes from. Which of course, is insane. Because it is not only impossible, but also is disrespecting Khushi's need for space right now. :(

Originally posted by: bakwas_serial

Thank you for your detailed response,Arpita. I nodded my head through all of it.

The confrontation chapter covers that and most importantly overlays that with Khushi's personality.🤩

I am glad that you brought up two things

A) Arnav actions affecting his wife trust,respect and dignity...something I have felt more important than La episode and written from the very first few chapters of this ff.

Also to me the Karva chauth of the past (added in this chapter) was a reflection of the state of their relationship..and he getting very comfortable with Khushi always understanding.

B) love does not die this quickly..but trust does take a major hit. 🤩

I also understand your view/experience that anything he says will sound hollow and fall flat. But I still think he needs to tell her something 😘 It is not to lessen what he has done but for me it is more for her that decade relationship is not false, for her move on and find closure eventually .

I will share an anecdote when you have finished the story

Thank you, Shraddha, :)

I said the same thing, I understand the need for Arnav's words. even if it's just for Khushi's sake :)

Looking forward to your anecdote. :)

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Hi Arpita,

Thank you for that detailed reply. I guess, exactly like Shraddha, I too was nodding my head throughout the read. I honestly understood why Arnav could not speak here. And I definitely saw this:

"So as readers we might look at it in the way that Arnav didn't communicate with her before, and he is not communicating with her even now. But there is a beautiful and ironic second side of this coin. A different way to look at it, if I may. Arnav didn't give her a choice before. He is enabling her to have one now. "

My initial reaction to the first read of this chapter came from an insane and anxious urge for them to fix everything, and for Arnav to redeem himself as soon as possible. For that pain that I feel for Khushi to go away ASAP. For him to beg for forgiveness here. For Khushi to know everything we know. Because for so many chapters so far, we have seen how Arnav has struggled. And I felt, quite unreasonably of course, that if and only if Khushi could read what we read, maybe it would help her. Maybe it would give her some closure. Maybe it will at least help her understand his intentions were not wrong. So that ONE DAY (not today) she may forgive him. You shared that you have been at the receiving end of an apology like this one. I think the opposite is true for me. I have been at the receiving end of silence. And the denial of closure for me was a bigger torture than the whole truth might have been, honestly. So I guess, some of that frustration as well transported here.

But yes, the way these characters are etched, and the way your Khushi has been written so far, I completely and wholeheartedly agree that right now she does not deserve to take care of or handle Arnav's guilt. It is a disservice to her.

I think like -Arpi- mentioned in the previous comment:

"Khushi is on a path of self-discovery but it's going to come at a cost. Right now, that cost seems to be Arnav and I am not sure as a reader, I am willing to pay that price."

And that is where my insane need for Arnav to be vulnerable and tell her, or somehow show her his entire thought process comes from. Which of course, is insane. Because it is not only impossible, but also is disrespecting Khushi's need for space right now. :(

That line by Arpi was sent to me by a few ❤️

Yet to get back to her poems and comments, but thanks Arpi :)

Also thanks for letting me know the root of your expectations. I can really understand that too :)

You're right. We as readers have a lot of advantages. We know the thoughts; we know the circumstances and most importantly we know what could have been. But for them the sh*t just got real. All the hurt is out in the open and its ugly. Its so much more than what Arnav had anticipated.

Khushi's new life however has begun. I hope that provides some respite :)

Slowly and hesitantly, Khushi's udan has started. She was lonely in the last year of the marriage and now feels alone ,abandoned by her Husband (he wanted the divorce) and her parents who wanted to marry again( to even a scumbag Shyam) and very gladly sent her off back to Arnav.

She is depressed and tells Arnav that she will do whatever he wants her to do. But she has started fluttering her wings,She told Shyam that she will not marry him and even told her parents off for trying to marry her off to Shyam.

Back in Mumbai with Arnav.Arnav tried to answer her about his association with Lavanya.No he was not having an affair with Lavanya but he did sleep with her once.He was drunk and ended up with her in a room.Yes he knew it was not Khushi he was kissing and it was not Khushi under him in bed. He was very upset that it happened.

Yes he saw her few times after because he thought Lavanya was pregnant and he was concerned for her welfare.But Lavanya lied to him about her being pregnant with his child, he told Khushi.

But the blow khushi felt was that Arnav was already thinking of Divorce before Lavanya incident and he was going to use sleeping with Lavanya to force Khushi for divorce.

On the wedding anniversary Khushi had received photos showing Lavanya and Arnav in compromising positions and around Shantivan and penthouse (Balcany).After that Khushi walked out telling him she also wanted a dovorce and will not take any alimony.

Last three months she lived in her parents house but got no support from them,They wanted to marry her off again and even considered widower Shyam with a baby girl. But Khushi finally turned him down.

Arnav told her about options of what she could do.Khushi wanted to go back to 'Udan' but he told her that they may not want her back.

Khushi decided to try for one of the competition where she had to cook authentic Awadh,Lucknowy cusine.Her dum-pukht dish won her a place in the Kitchen of 'Awadh House' and she got knocked her feet(literally) by Vidit Hooda ,the ownwer and Head Chef of Awadh House. Of course he saved her from falling.

Khushi instead of looking down is looking up.Her udan (flight) to independece has started. Seems Vidit may play a part in her emancipation.

Thank you Arpita for the update.

I had thought of writing about Arnav and lavanya's ONS in a jokey way and giving awards (oscar/Filmfare) to Lavanya,Arnav and Khushi but I feel that moment has passed.

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

I totally get the rage Akansha.😂

I warned you guys. If you thought Arnav made a mess in guilt till now, then just tighten your seatbelts. LOL🤣

And I see so many of you frustrated with his choice to not communicate anymore. Trust me I know how annoying that looks. I'll try to answer as best as I can. Summarizing my points for all of you in the same answer because I believe you guys had question on the very same lines ❤️

==============================================================================

I'll come to your observations about Khushi first. Yes, she was mindful enough to take away the pics even when she was utterly devastated. Doing things that are right by Arnav comes as naturally as breathing to her. She has not thought from her point of view first in a long long time because she was sure that the person she was doing it all for, also loved and cared for her. That he is incapable of ever hurting her. This is the reason she was willingly ready to let go of months of rude behavior and negligence.

Which is why her heartbreak seems so profound. Arnav said in one of the chapters. Amanika didn't only break his heart, she broke his trust. Khushi feels the same. This is also why that line you mentioned is there. It will require a lot of strength from her to face Arnav and that is a sickening feeling. He was her everything. He was her go to person. He took that away from her. its debilitating.

========================================================================

Coming to Arnav now.

Both Arnav and Khushi's reactions here come from a personal place for me. In the 12th chapter, Arnav told her all the reasons he hurt her. He literally gave his actual reasons. That he was letting her go because he thought she wanted children more than him. That he was trying to do right by her only. Went on to say you have the right to ask anything of me. everything that you guys said in your comments down the line, he said it all as best as he could in that situation.

But every time Khushi had a counter. Every time Khushi asked then why did you run away? Why did you hurt me? Why didn't you stop with Lavanya? - Arnav had sat there silently because he really does not have the answers to her rebuttals.

The thing that will sting Khushi the most, is her asking how could you hurt me and Arnav having no answers whatsoever. He did hurt her. Knowingly. He did take her for granted. How much she mattered was the realization after Khushi left. Even without Lavanya, the notion was cemented in Arnav' head. And when Khushi is questioning the basis of it all, the only thing he can say is that he made a mistake.

But it is never easy to trust a person who was so willing to hurt you after you trusted them with your heart. I think one of the very first discussions that happened on this FF was me engaging with someone and agreeing that relationships never go back to what they were after this kind of upheaval. After cheating which is what both Arnav and Khushi know has happened in addition to all of the other crap Arnav pulled.

The only extra thing he can say is that Khushi, it also hurt me to let you go. That it was not easy by any measure. That you matter a lot.

But that would sound marvelously hollow to Khushi who knows that Arnav still went through it. Based on a notion in his head. It hurt her so much to be put through this whole ordeal. Arnav can say it hurt me too and all Khushi have to say is you still went through it. You still kept me in dark. And he would have no answers. He can only hope that Khushi buys his broken apology, because he does not have a solid answer to heal her hurt. Every wound and every question she asked is justified and Arnav has no answer other than saying I made a mess.

And I know just how hollow anything Arnav says will sound to Khushi because I have been at the receiving end of a similar apology. Words don't mean anything when you can't shake the feeling that I know all the reasons, but this person still chose to hurt me. Actions are the only thing that will salvage something, but not everything. Never everything.

Arnav's major realizations came after Khushi left. He is also the one who wanted nothing more than a divorce at a time (even though his reasons were to do right by both Khushi and himself). He is the one who was already done with the marriage in his head. Imagine being Khushi and finding out and this was the thought going on in your husband's head for months while you were stressed about his well-being because separation is something that would never even cross your mind in a million years.

This is the man who didn't speak properly to her for months. And now that he has realized he needs her, he gets to say all that he wants? Khushi was clear with both her body language and vocals - get away from me and I don't want to listen to anything. Just tell me what needs to be done and I'll do that because I have no other choice.

Also, Arnav is still dealing with the guilt of sleeping with another woman. It wouldn't let him breathe in the same room as Khushi. He told her I could not look you in the eye. If he lets that guilt take over, he will crumble again. He has to deal with that even now. I don't think Arnav can deal with it. ASR might.

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And now...

Khushi's hurt has grown far beyond Arnav. Its every relationship, the very foundation of her life that is shaken. She is realizing that what she wants or thinks does not matter to anyone. A person that broken cannot sustain a relationship. Thus, her thoughts- that Ratna Kaki I don't have the strength anymore to stand by a man who made such mistakes.

Arnav can cry in front of her the way he cried in front of their apartment, and Khushi will forgive him. Not because she will start trusting him again, but because 'Beggars Can't be choosers' and 'She could not leave so she didn't leave.'

He knows that his tears still affected him and Arpi, as you pointed out so well, he wiped them because Khushi would not even let out her hurt if she saw him getting hurt with her words.

And I believe a man like Arnav, who knows what self-respect means to a person, would not do that to a woman who has to choose him despite all the hurt he has caused her because she has no other way. That's all he has thought about. He has ruined her self-respect in her eyes for loving him the way she did.

So as readers we might look at it in the way that Arnav didn't communicate with her before, and he is not communicating with her even now. But there is a beautiful and ironic second side of this coin. A different way to look at it, if I may. Arnav didn't give her a choice before. He is enabling her to have one now.

Also, I don't think Khushi's love for Arnav has died. It is too strong to wither away in one storm. That's not the important question. it is not her-love-for-him that has taken a hit. It's the trust. it's the respect.

It's knowing that this person may claim to love me, but he has it in his himself to hurt me.

There is a notion that I believe in.

Love doesn't die in a day, but respect does. And it perfectly explains why love can stay but people shouldn't.

Thank you Arpita

This is a very satisfying reply and yet left me with little hope and a whole lot of dread.

The answer is satisfying because I can understand it. I agree to it. What you have put into words here is exactly what the chapter had spelled out for me. The two moments from the second last chapter really stuck and I waited desperately for the new update to see if my deductions were correct. It broke my heart to see that they were. The two moments were Arnav wiping his tears because Khushi got affected and stopped letting her hurt out, and the other one was the line 'If I could leave, I would leave'. I didn't even want to think what that sounded like to Arnav. Even though you gave a hint already.

Throughout the whole chapter he was worried 'if' he was too late. But after that line from Khushi, he said that as a statement.

He 'was' too late.

I thanked you for writing "Smithereens' and not changing Arnav overnight. As someone who struggles with vocal expressions even in a normal situation, what Arnav managed to say in an emotionally charged one was not only relatable and realistic, but also felt like validation.

And oh line that Arnav is enabling her to have a choice!

You didn't say he gave her a choice. You said he is 'enabling' her to have one. The divide is subtle but for me it makes a world of difference.

And with that, his character already redeemed itself a little in my eyes. He may have just taken the first step on the path which Khushi had been walking all her life. Please make him reach her before she leaves.

I will sound whiny and repetitive, but I am still not willing to pay Arnav as the price for this journey. I am not trying to influence you and your story in any which way Arpita, just explaining the dread that won't leave my heart since a few updates.

He has been the sun of her cosmos for so long. Please do not let him be a comet that circled her all her life, burnt bright at the end to illuminate her one last time and parted; leaving behind a brilliant trail of stardust for her to carry through her new life.

You're in love with him and he's in love with you and it's a goddamn tragedy because he looks at you and sees the stars and you look at him and see the sun and both of you think the other is just looking at the ground!