Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 4 | A/N on Pg 70 - Page 24

Originally posted by: shyamidutt

Originally posted by SwatStar_Arshi

I live in America too for years and telling someone "It is in your mind, it is in your head while disagreeing with other's point of view" is bullying in America.

I disagree- I said you are imagining the character in your head - that is not bullying

And you saying "I cannot keep quiet when the character is being bashed" is threatening.

No it’s not. I clearly meant I will not keep quiet and answer back is in no way threatening. I am allowed to reply right??

I am allowed writing about a character as per the writer and you are discouraging it.

No I’m not. I just said I disagree with your bashing not discouraging it

I am not twisting anything here, this is how you wrote on my comments.

I am just so exhausted to respond anymore, you decide your point of view. I would rather request mutual distance and no comments from each other.

Yes with this I point I cannot agree more. Let’s agree to disagree and call it quits

Bullying is not just certain words but direct attacks without explanation why you are saying certain things is also bullying. (This is "Dismissive" or "Putdown" type of bullying).

You are absolutely allowed to reply but direct attacks to the reader without explanation from the story perspective is unacceptable and is threatening and discouraging to me.

Originally posted by: ranogill

Hi Arpita, i am hoping that we will get new chapter this weekend. Can we hope?

Trying my best. Aimed Tuesday but hoping to get the chapter out by Sunday night ♥️

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Bullying is not just certain words but direct attacks without explanation why you are saying certain things is also bullying. (This is "Dismissive" or "Putdown" type of bullying).

You are absolutely allowed to reply but direct attacks to the reader without explanation from the story perspective is unacceptable and is threatening and discouraging to me.

Ok whatever makes you happy!! You want to believe something that was not there be my guest. I’m done here.

Originally posted by: shyamidutt

Ok whatever makes you happy!! You want to believe something that was not there be my guest. I’m done here.

Why don't you google, ask around and find out! It will clear your belief as well. Cheers!

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Why don't you google, ask around and find out! It will clear your belief as well. Cheers!

No thanks! Hard pass! Like I said I’m done here

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Hi Swati

I had thought i would never interact directly with you again but I am forced to !!!! I read the story and commented my understanding and speculation . Arpita being the really sweetheart bothered to reply and address any misunderstanding I have , there were other ppl too but all of them did it really decently.

Now you come and start quoting my post:

Originally posted by SwatStar_Arshi

What makes you think only Arnav bared responsibilities? Khushi at the age of 19 took the responsibility to run the house and even today he is proud of her skills, every corner of the house is so beautiful, people actually want to see it!

She tried to help with dabba business, was managing HIS family and their financial as well as emotional needs by visiting them more than he could, even ran NGO helping needy; all these he truly appreciates clearly initially and even now..

She was the only one trying to med the relationship, he decided to move on or fell out of love, accepted but why do it the most shitty way??????

We will know about his fear about the baby, but discussion solves even wars, this was nothing..

You went personal the very first line but I took it on a sporting spirit, you had your opinion I had mine - I did not go personal here at all but backed my question with my own observation that Arnav and Khushi both worked equally hard. This was nothing to do with you as a person.

I replied I am sorry, I wish I read this story as Amazon kindle book . I realise more than the chapters the comments are effecting me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and forums such as this gives us free access to speak our minds .

I have come to realise that my comments came through as I am supporting Arnav!!! I will never support how he hurt khushi. How he handled the whole divorce situation. And the adultery is unacceptable.

But my problem was always khushi’s take on things. Maybe I don’t understand her at all. But I would never think she deserved what she got . I was just speculating what went wrong because the characters doesn’t seem to behave like how the story is going. We don’t know what went wrong I would now stop speculating.

I am sorry, if I hurt anyone’s feelings. I would now sit back and enjoy the story. For my own sanity!!! My husband is already thinking I have lost it !!! Seeing me buried in my phone !!!!

You replied:

Ari - My purpose to reply you was to show Arnav had certain personality traits that reflect throughout including his aloofness, run away from the situation as his father mentioned, block communication, adamancy and control freak, decision making style expecting others to abide by.. And disrespecting their marriage, ill treating Khushi and affair was icing on the cake y Arnav!

Still Khushi made it work by her poised nature, simplicity and straight forward thiking, fresh and positive personality and adjusting with a smile and in return he was positive and nice to her too most times.. Khushi here has definitely done more compromise to make relationship work, being a house wife, village girl doesn't take it away from her! Men would die to get such a wonderful girl in their life!

You can continue to support Arnav, that's your choice and we completely respect that... You don't need to stop yourself from expressing, this is mature group and we all respect each other, my love for you girl!

Then you again quote my post ,Anyone who wants to read the post can do so ,it's in thread 1. I am only quoting a snippet ralevent to this discussion. This is how you started pushing and forcing your thoughts:

Are we reading the same story? The story is about Arnav cheating during marriage which he did. Had he quit by giving explanation that not having baby is his final decision, no one including me would be blaming Arnav. Arnav went for an affair with other woman while his wife is waiting for him at home and sleeping with other woman instead of simple talk and sorting with his wife across the room. Even if he wanted divorce or separation, he should have informed Khushi and done it before involving with Lavanya... He is wrong here, no doubt.

Again in the same post you went personal:

He could have cancelled the party saying his father is sick but he continued the charade. He can get permanent peace with Lavanya but not while marrying to Khushi, are you promoting infidelity by saying if one has arguments or disagreements with their spouse, they can avoid their spouse but have affair and find peace outside marriage? You got to be kidding me! And what about the trauma Arnav is putting Khushi through by cheating, Are you ok with it? It takes woman more to take responsibilties of her husband's family and Khushi was 5 years younger than Arnav here! They both took responsibilties, not just Arnav. He was assuming things about her without asking her if it's truth and that's where he went wrong.

But if someone has fear of somthing always, it's a sign of autism (at least that's what I experienced with community volunteering, I am an engineer and not doctor so I can be wrong here) and Arnav in this story is a normal guy, neither autistic nor he has any special needs. In fact Arnav was super excited and happy when his sister delivered a baby and he loves Leher too (He was splaying with Leher in car while Akash and Payal were sleeping when they went to Khushi's house). You are confused with two completely different things, Arnav has no fear of babies.

Again here I asked questions and immediately backed with my answers too. This was personal about the character and NOT you. Your point of view versus mine. Others have written in the same way to me every time. I asked you / writer specifically if Arnav was established with mental health issues or just trauma. But I realized you might not have liked my point of view and never interacted with you nor plan to in future. I have no time to go back read link 1 but we have had multiple interactions back then the feeling is mutual.

I still tried to be calm:

Sorry, I really don’t want to fight!!!

I never supported infidelity !!! I strongly believe that they never had an affair, until Arpita proves me wrong.

Also as you mentioned earlier this is mature forum and we all are free to have our own opinion . Can we please stop victimising each other !!! I am again sorry if I hurt you in anyway ,or if I triggered it !!!!

Let’s keep our beliefs to ourselves!!! I don’t want to discuss or defend my points again . Let’s enjoy the story our own way. Just one point though I don’t think he was scared of babies or the delivery process. He really didn’t want kids and that he had to give in freaked him out and that created the stress which was the last thread.

These are all there in thread 1:

So please any silent readers Swati keeps mentioning please read them .

Things were ok for sometime we even had few cordial chats. But then again you quoted my post and used similar demeaning language , this time I had no energy to fight so I reported the post and it got deleted. I do have a little snippet of it as proof.

All this I kept quite but you went ahead and bullied the writer about supporting Arnav ,even when you quoted to me writer expained khushi's stand to you on a separate post(that was a generous amount of words defending khushi, who no one has ever challenged!!!!!!) . I couldn't take it and wrote something in her support. You retorted with name calling (Vultures ,Masseiah), I have been in this forum for long time and NEVER experienced this . Yes had debates before but never faced this sort of behaviour . It's like can't say anything on the forum without you coming to grab my neck!!!!!!I am

I am sorry to say you are spinning a new theory, not sure how you get to decide I bullied the writer for her supporting Arnav is a joke. This means you never understood the whole situation and conversation we had there. Just because I had certain point of view about character and came with poofs from the story, my reasons to point it out. Go back and read my both notes together with Arpita's, the writer has appreciated my effort that now you are calling as bullying and contradicting. There is also explanation on what the actual misunderstanding was and clarification for it.

This is now you forcing your point of view when the writer has accepted my version and what I meant and discouraging me to write directly to the writer. When the writer and I have discussed directly and clarified our stance in open comments and privately too, you decide otherwise and attack me saying I bullied the writer???? This is unacceptable.

You have been doing this to many ppl so in your own language you don't get to cry foul !!!!! You picked Shyami's one post and made a scene out of it, where as you started it ,did it to many!!!

Even there is no apology ever!!!

I am not crying foul and never will. I have responded to Shyami separately.

But you are now spinning it saying I bullied the writer, this is new high and a big fat lie. This is between me and Arpita and so back off without twisting the truth. Please read and re-read the direct back and forth between me and Arpita.

Saying all that, in favor of the story can we move on . Let's all enjoy the story and send love to Arpita for writing this so beautifully.

None of my responses were ever intended to any person or you as a person, I have never demeaned anyone. I do not even know half the names. I have always backed my statements or replies with something from story, snippet or the writer's feedback etc. I just wanted to point that it was never established in story that Arnav has mental health issues but just one specific trauma.

But I realized you and I both disagreed on our point of views. I have no time to go back read link 1 but we have had multiple interactions back then the feeling is mutual. I have no intention to read or reply to your opinions after you spinning new lie that I bullied the writer, this is so unfortunate

-Swati

Let me understand this,

You saying :

are you promoting infidelity by saying if one has arguments or disagreements with their spouse, they can avoid their spouse but have affair and find peace outside marriage? You got to be kidding me!

NOT PERSONAL!!!!!

Are we reading the same story?

What makes you think only Arnav bared responsibilities?

You are confused with two completely different things, Arnav has no fear of babies.

NOT PERSONAL!!!!!

Unlike you I do have time to ,read the posts and Arpita did get hurt by your post, and really that was a low blow. But I do apologise for calling that bulling but i did find the way you chased and tried to force Arpita to accept your point of view demeaning . WE a lot of others alongside me supported Arpita and you came back calling names to all of us !!!!!!!

I don't expect anything else from you ,you can call me lier ,vulture massieh whatsoever.

I would like to appeal to all the readers who support Swati to read and consider with an open mind to where I am coming from.....

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

Hi Swati, I will be a little frank here in the response to your post.

You or any other reader leaving is the last thing I would ever want. Irrespective of your belief or opinions about the story. You can go and check my responses from thread 1. I have always said that all opinions are always welcome here and I will always clarify things. It saddens me to see this decision.

But at the same time I have also said that I understand when readers want to back off for their own peace. There are several who have done so. Initially my response to that was always panicking and asking them to stay, but there have been instances where even I wanted to step away so I understand and respect it.

I hope you see this post because I want to clarify a few things.

You are absolutely not the culprit for appealing. As a matter of principle I always stayed away from any direct interaction between any two parties of any clashing views. You called me in stating that you felt what people were writing was bullying. I simply stated that I did not think it was bullying but rather support to me when I said I wanted to step away and not think about the story. They were also reiterating what I said and expressing their POV and in my eyes they didn’t deserve the name calling on a public forum.

My intention was never to make you the culprit but to answer the question you asked me directly/indirectly. I would apologise if my response made you feel like that but I had to come clean about what I thought of the situation.

Rest every interaction between any readers including you has always had my support. There were harsh comments but they would always have my support in form of likes/quotes irrespective of the fact that the opinion maybe harsh on the story or character or even to other readers.

I thought this was adults engaging in fruitful conversations who probably are elder to me and know more. I had no authority to interfere and yet when the things grew harsh on readers (including you), there are always my comments of reminding everyone to calm down.

I would never want you or any other readers to think this was a place where you couldn’t speak your mind. I would be naive to say that I did not see how heated discussions can get to an individual and affect them, but I have always thought you people handled it well on your own end. It makes me sad that you feel that about this space. 💔

Having said that, I agree with you. I do miss the good times too. Terribly so. And in case you would want to return to that, I would be very happy to see that, and from the following comments, other readers too!

I see that other readers have already replied to that and I agree to the point they made. They have shared direct instances where they felt grievance and laid down the points. I hope you understand where they were coming from and what pinched them too. Kindly read their response with an open mind. I’m glad they want to engage in direct conversation.

And more importantly, everyone wants this to be a place where they can say their own mind and listen to others too. I hope you consider that as well, you’ve been an active part of the story and I would like to see that in the old fun and dignified manner it used to be <3

Arpita,

I made a mistake of replying today to others NOT anymore. No conversation has happened where others did not start or reply or picked on me but my main problem is you have already agreed to them without waiting for my response or reading the comments or the whole conversations before and after. With all due respect to you as a writer, this is a biased judgement without giving chance to the other party at all. I can also provide many more examples, but the judgement is already done.

You never once acknowledged about their harsh feedback on my comments, They were acting in a group forcing their points, constant nitpicking versus I was alone, direct attacks that I showed as an example but you failed to even acknowledge. Others too were silenced by groupism but they can speak for themselves or you can ignore. Just google for type of bullying, it's not just about physical hurt or only specific words, dismissing people with direct comments is bullying, spreading lies / rumors which is happening today is bullying, isolating someone, acting in group to shot one person down they disagree is bullying too. People involved will never accept it is a different story.

And the worst part is, now I have new allegation to face - I bullied the writer and if you agree to this blatant claim which a big fat lie, I have nothing to say further, we are wasting each other’s time! This itself justifies my walking away from here and you all should celebrate!

These are new accusations waiting for me now -

Unlike you I do have time to ,read the posts and Arpita did get hurt by your post, and really that was a low blow. But I do apologise for calling that bulling but i did find the way you chased and tried to force Arpita to accept your point of view demeaning . WE a lot of others alongside me supported Arpita and you came back calling names to all of us !!!!!!!

I had never forced you or demeaned you - I had taken so much flak for being against Arnav, I was trying to convince why I see Arnav in negative light. I showed you the black window that convinces me he cheated on his wife by meeting the other woman, just my view to dislike such characters and no one else has to agree. I wrote the Messiah note to appeal people to stop groupism for us to feel comfortable to talk to the writer directly and not because I am against the writer or not supporting the writer. What a new lie and theory getting spinned here conveniently ignoring I immediately cleared everything directly with you in open comments.

I was the one who constantly encouraged you in my public comments and privately too. I always think proactive; asked you about doing the writing courses; good for portfolio to go pro, always insisted you to take writing as a pro saying you are that good, discussed privately about introducing you to my contacts in Bollywood if you write in Hindi, and other pathways, eBooks etc. I didn’t know I was your enemy, non-supporter and hurting you in doing all this.

Fact remains the same, I am truly disappointed with this open bias here and the groupism will continue. I not feel comfortable anymore here. I was so involved in the story thanks to your encouragement all these days, I had few more stupid poems, fun banters ready but this is only going low and low for me.

Today I am already in FLASH mode, we will meet on 52nd earth, world is better out here! (FLASH is a famous hi-tech super heroes TV serial, binge watching with my kids).

-Swati

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Arpita,

I made a mistake of replying today to others NOT anymore. No conversation has happened where others did not start or reply or picked on me but my main problem is you have already agreed to them without waiting for my response or reading the comments or the whole conversations before and after. With all due respect to you as a writer, this is a biased judgement without giving chance to the other party at all. I can also provide many more examples, but the judgement is already done.

You never once acknowledged about their harsh feedback on my comments, They were acting in a group forcing their points, constant nitpicking versus I was alone, direct attacks that I showed as an example but you failed to even acknowledge. Others too were silenced by groupism but they can speak for themselves or you can ignore. Just google for type of bullying, it's not just about physical hurt or only specific words, dismissing people with direct comments is bullying, spreading lies / rumors which is happening today is bullying, isolating someone, acting in group to shot one person down they disagree is bullying too. People involved will never accept it is a different story.

And the worst part is, now I have new allegation to face - I bullied the writer and if you agree to this blatant claim which a big fat lie, I have nothing to say further, we are wasting each other’s time! This itself justifies my walking away from here and you all should celebrate!

These are new accusations waiting for me now -

Unlike you I do have time to ,read the posts and Arpita did get hurt by your post, and really that was a low blow. But I do apologise for calling that bulling but i did find the way you chased and tried to force Arpita to accept your point of view demeaning . WE a lot of others alongside me supported Arpita and you came back calling names to all of us !!!!!!!

I had never forced you or demeaned you - I had taken so much flak for being against Arnav, I was trying to convince why I see Arnav in negative light. I showed you the black window that convinces me he cheated on his wife by meeting the other woman, just my view to dislike such characters and no one else has to agree. I wrote the Messiah note to appeal people to stop groupism for us to feel comfortable to talk to the writer directly and not because I am against the writer or not supporting the writer. What a new lie and theory getting spinned here conveniently ignoring I immediately cleared everything directly with you in open comments.

I was the one who constantly encouraged you in my public comments and privately too. I always think proactive; asked you about doing the writing courses; good for portfolio to go pro, always insisted you to take writing as a pro saying you are that good, discussed privately about introducing you to my contacts in Bollywood if you write in Hindi, and other pathways, eBooks etc. I didn’t know I was your enemy, non-supporter and hurting you in doing all this.

Fact remains the same, I am truly disappointed with this open bias here and the groupism will continue. I not feel comfortable anymore here. I was so involved in the story thanks to your encouragement all these days, I had few more stupid poems, fun banters ready but this is only going low and low for me.

Today I am already in FLASH mode, we will meet on 52nd earth, world is better out here! (FLASH is a famous hi-tech super heroes TV serial, binge watching with my kids).

-Swati

Let me just say I didn’t think I will wake up to this allegation but then again there are a lot of things I didn’t wish to happen here in this thread and in this story.

I am going to respond to this allegation once I do have some time in a couple hours maybe. That would be my last response in this whole thing because I’ve tried being subtle and give ample room to all parties involved to politely settle it down. I didn’t realise that was a crime.

I sincerely wish things go back to thread 1. Where I get maybe only 2 pages of comments but this does not happen. I anyway posted this FF with no higher hopes. It has already gone beyond my expectations and I will live that very happily!

Anyway as I was saying, that would be the last reply. After that I will not read, respond or even acknowledge a single reply written by any reader in this scenario because while everyone seems to be getting hurt by conversations they chose to engage in , my mental health is going for a toss for no reason at all. It has already been proven that saying this out loud in this thread is madness because that’s treated like a joke and why should I be worried about anything is the kind of response I get. And I need to save my sanity in order to put out a single update because the kind of chaos that had ensued in this thread, I had come dangerously close to leave the whole thing for a long time and not update at all.

And I do not wish to do that. At all. I have promised several readers who have stood here like a rock and been very vocal (publicly and privately) with their support, feedback and even criticism that I will see this story to the end. I have promised myself the same and I want to make good on that promise. I want to write and leave it at that. That makes me happy. And I absolutely refuse to let a fictional story take over my real life. It’s never worth it.

If it really comes to an extreme after this, which I hope it does not, then IF is not the only place to continue. I’d happily move to to much lesser public space. And I really really don’t want to do that. I have cherished this comment section as much as this FF. You know I never understood IPK writers’ obsession to take their work to private spaces. I genuinely get it now.

One more thing, I absolutely abhor this quoting and pointing game but I will indulge in that in response to the allegation of supporting bullying and groupism because I don’t want other readers to think this is what is going on and they can not speak their mind about Arnav which is so not true. So my response will be for all of them.

I had also thanked you for laying down the questions regarding the FF and Lavanya cheating episode. I was preparing the answer already , because I felt like it will clear things up and then gave up when things blew up here. I was writing a lengthy response because I understood your question and where you were coming from. I will quote that post once more and post my reply to the questions. I believe that is necessary because I am taking you on your word that there are readers who agree to those points and there are several which never happened in the FF. Clarification becomes important to me then and I refuse to run away. It’s not a window and it’s not a discussion. That will simply be my response to the question and as always readers can choose their own POV and and I will welcome that. Even support when necessary.

I am extremely sorry that I will have to quote both these posts when you have made it clear that you do not wish to indulge in this back and forth. You may choose to ignore that. But I feel like I owe this answer.

Hearty congratulations for the new thread 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Waiting for an update eagerly.