Engin Akyurek maybe the best actor in the world ever-BIO/Updates pg4 - Page 60

Originally posted by: DefLeppard

Oh 12th Jan...David Guetta concert @ Bangalore. Got my tickets :)

Originally posted by: blyton

A short story by Engin which I don't think has been shared here. Credit to Engin Akyurek Fan Club on FB.

" Silence "

By : Engin Akyrek (Translated by Snjena Eliza )

Winter day. Ankara has become like a refrigerator. There was a loud whistling wind. The snow covered the street with its soft white. The edges of the roof looked like lace of wedding dress, it was the very picture of innocence. I put the tea to cook, but I stayed in bed, in order to not interrupt my dream. I tried to sleep, put my head under the covers but my ass was left outside. From the street came this sound. Next door I heard the symphony of muted and silenced voices. I leaned my head on the moist window and my eyes saw the reason of these silenced voices. Selim's father died, of one of my best friends. People have been transmitted the message silently . I stormed out on the street without my boots and my coat on. My mother's voice made me returned to put on formal clothes.

I went in the house Selim. In front of the door there was a lot of shoes, evidence on what was happening inside .. At one point I realized that the whole neighborhood was there. Everyone is wearing what they found .. Some came with summer slippers in a hurry to share the pain of the death of the neighbor. I thought, "Gee, Mom, will you now say that I came into the house of the deceased with the boots and the coat." Carrying this thought of what others will say I snuck into the house of the deceased. I rang the door. A small girl opened . Her frail youth made me feel the death even more tangible . She showed me Selims room. I went in. Selim and other kids from neighborhood were trying to ease the pain of death with the silence. In the next room the mother of Selim and several elderly aunt mourned the deceased. On the opposite side was another room. There was elders uncles and older people from the neighborhood stearing at the carpet on he floor, not lifting their look from it .. They have reacted to the death with silence. Everyone had a design on the rug that belonged only to him. I said, "My condolences, Selim." "Thanks," he said

I could not think what else to say before the face of death. I, like others, ducked my head and I tried to find a figure on the carpet that is totally, reflecting the state of my soul. They brought chay (Tea) . All the crying has stopped for a cup of tea. I and other kids from the neighborhood we wanted to defy death by starvation. We decided not to put any food in the mouth, so we fight for our boyish hearts. Of course, we understood ourselves without even looking at each other, and not taking our eyes from the ground, but the voice of grief was even bigger than our stomachs rumble. At one point is an auntie put before us gurabie and cookies. It was a real torture, as when a man struggling with a physical desire, but we did not want to give our victory up over the first temptation. They poured us tea. Selim raised his head and said: "Eat, guys." At that moment late father of Selim became our dad. I forgot who first began to push, but I remember that we threw ourselves on the food as if it were prey pushing each other hands. When in the body lies a child, a little smile, at the right time of life, is enough to wake this child. Selim laughed. We crammed cookies and gurabie in our mouth and he hid his mouth for no bursting into laughter. Despite the postulates of psychological science, Selim was just a child. Our confusion was short and we began to burst with laughter. Auntie brought tea and Selim said: "Quiet, it's a shame my son. Your father died today," and explained how to meet death. He continued to laugh and I said, 'Selim, you want to go get some air? " Our faces are shining and it was our victory over death. Without telling anyone, we flyed so nobody sees us and speeding like thieves we caught jackets and rushed out. We hurried down the street without knowing why and where we run. We followed Selim. Too tired from the chase We crashed to the ground. We knew that today we'll do what ever Selim would asked (told us). I asked: "What do we do now?". Selim looked at us with sad eyes, said to follow him and stood at the head of the group. First we went to a room full of computers. With a single stroke we free the access to games from small children .. We started to play on computers. Everyone was letting Selim to win. We were to small to let us play billiards, but we pretended to / illegible / and we entered. We didn't know how Selim felt at this right moment...We could not know everything. Better this way. Tired of our large pool that was just our size, we took to the streets again. One child stopped us. "Brother Selim everyone in the house is asking for you." "Well, go home, I'm coming." said Selim. He wanted to live his pain with us, despite the cold breath coming out of his mouth, we went out on the streets of Ankara. We were his best friends, for kids that means as close as brothers. We walked around the neighborhood. Our causeless smiles were welcome in cold weather. It was the most natural way to warm us up. A single smile in the snow can do that on the roofs flourish flowers. As we walked around smiling everybody watched Selim with looks saying: "So that is the way the child, whose father has died, behave."

Suddenly in front of us appeared Selim's uncle. Seeing him smiling, he gathered the bushy eyebrows up, so the snow on the edges of roofs turned into ice. "Are you not ashamed? What kind of business you have to be outside? Your father died today," he said, emphasizing what he said with his thick eyebrows. Selim bowed his head in silence. Perhaps he searched in the snow a design that was on the rug. "I was going home, uncle" The noise-free, but gentle Selim voice, did that our childish bodies suddenly got grown masculinity. Selim became a soldier, Hakan got married, Velia got a bunch of kids. We walked down the street like grown men. We talked how we are experiencing pain. Only Selim talked about some nice things. His uncle had to prepare the funeral, so he turned into the alley. Selim then paused, looked us in the eye and said: ". I do not feel like going home" We listened to Selim, and well we did. We came to a place (some unknown) and we started to talk about the various adventures. If you try to close your eyes, and go back to your childhood, led into it with a couple of sentences, I do not know exactly which ones, but certainly you'll like, and it will be close to what Selim was just telling us . We were starving. With the last remaining coins that we found in our pockets we bought soda and chips. Everyone was talking about the girl, and when stucked between love and lies we laughed again. But the freezing in Ankara was not harmless as children's lie. We threw some looks around to make sure that no one of the neighborhood saw us. Fearing that we could be seen or heard, we tried to open the chips even without the rustle. When Selim began talking about a girl, who is his love, we all believed. We wanted to believe him. Before our eyes Selim turned into Kerem or Meynun. We were left to assume the role as liars and just for fun we told our invented stories, sipping from a bottle of mineral water. Selim put the bottle on his head, looking at the clouds, and then he lowered his head and looked at us sadly, but with his eyes laughing . Perhaps as he looked at the clouds he saw his father. Maybe it was he, smiling, among them. Just the way Selim smiled at us. When we started to talk, he was silent. He just smiled. I said some things. It does not matter what I was talking about. All that matters is that we are together trying to counter pain. We were kids and sitting on cold stone so we wanted to stay children. Everyone sometimes wished to remain forever a child. I think even those whose childhood was hard, when they grow up, they are ready to swallow anything in order to go back to being children. Maybe it's my childhood, but if we sat together on the cold stone, drank soda and then you might think the same. Veli quietest boy among us, said: "Bears, how you ate those cookies this morning." We all laughed again, but this time we exchanged some kicks. Because of laughing my chips was blown from my mouth. I put a bottle of mineral water on the head and said, "Cheers!" Selim looked at the clouds. His eyes were full of tears. "Shut up, shut up!". We stopped and we asked together, "Selim, are you all right?" On this day Selim was our father, brother, our conscience, it was part of our hearts. "Shut up hell. Today my father died!"

Decoding Engin's Silence.

The basic plot of this essay/write-up is about Engin hearing his close friend Selim's father's death news and rushing to offer his condolences. Starting smoothly with a winter morning snow compared to a wedding gown - for its purity, peace and primary.It then moves on the narrate the atmosphere at Selim's house, grappled with the fear of losing a dear one, uncertainties moving forward without the head of the family etc.

Fear is the most avoided topic in our lives. How often have we discussed our fears with anyone - be it a friend, loved ones or in anonymous?

Selim's uncle staring at the dedicated patterns of the carpet represents the vast majority of us who continue to ignore and remain silent for the fears in life.And then the auntie offering tea and cookies are the remaining few who want to uphold the fear factor with a logical reasoning.Blame it on culture, traditions or simply a lame excuse to avoid it(postpone talking about it). While the friends resolve to resist but soon they give up to the temptations of easier paths.

And while a confused Selim is baffling with the events around him, his friends' behavior gives him a quick respite from the fear he his facing.

Fear Psychosis is the secret to Engin's Silence pudding. And death is by far the biggest or largest fear we(any living thing) avoid to face.

Psychosis essentially mean "loss of contact with reality" and invariably brings in abnormal behavior through this condition.

While the kids move out quickly, all they do is loiter around with win every game on computer, lie on every girl who fell like 9 pins for them etc...to put a brave front and sound fearless?

And finally the moment of truth, when Selim had to attend his father's funeral had arrived, all Selim could do was make a wish looking at the clouds to help share the pain by rain(large tears)and by moving his dad as virtual entity

And his usual trick in bringing back childhood...is not with out a significance.*wicked* Often haven't we seen a child(age 1-3 years) watching the deadliest snakes,alligators etc on television without any fear. Most fears are instilled by parents and guardians. So was the case of Selim. The ability to be ignorant of fears is highest amongst children.

So a parting question to all readers...he skilfully puts forth our preparedness for facing the fears? Is it silence or postponement to face it or do we have a unique recipe to conquer them???

Two movies which popped were Zindagi Na Milegi dobara - each character has a fear factor to tackle, Life of Pi etc

Brilliant piece of writing as always...loved the take on fear-silence and death as a the backdrop. Only if we could get him reading this...*day dreaming*

PS: Had to quote @Blyton's post to give context to other readers :) Apologies to be accepted.