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Thank you so much for reading! I highly appreciate it that you are reading and please continue reading. I worked really hard on this chapter, so please ready, like and/or comment. I will highly appreciate it. Sometimes, I do consider whether I should continue writing because I am not sure how many people are actually liking my story. But, somehow I want to continue writing, so I will. I read all the comments and thank you so much for liking the writing style for these chapters. I know I get too detailed and sometimes add too much emotions, but I want all of you to connect to the characters.
-Note: I want Guddan to grow as a character and she will slowly evolve. She right now is a characterized by her upbringing and circumstances, but hopefully she will evolve. Moreover, her relationship with Akshat will grow over time as well 😃
Keep reading and please like and/or comment if possible 😃
Chapter 5 Part 2
"What society is saying about you and Guddan has not only maligned her reputation, but ours' as well...Most importantly, I am your dadi and this is a descision that will not change no matter what. I will not change this descision of getting you married with Guddan and you will have oblige to it," Dadi announced and she walked away up the set of stairs as I stood still and that's when I faced Akshat Jindal's wrath.
His shadow hovering around me as he walked up to me. I stood still staring into my reflection on wooden floor. There was utter silence...the silence before the storm. Grabbing my arm he slammed my lifeless body against the wall as I didn't make any sound. I stood still as I gripped on to my dupatta tightly. Breathing heavily upon me as he grabbed my arms and pulled me close...too close.
"Smart...very smart Guddan. Never in my right mind would I have thought that you and your family would play such game," Akshat muttered. Game? What sort of game is he talking about? I lowered my eyes looking away from him as he brought his face close. Close enough that I felt his nose lightly touching my cheek as he lowered his face towards me.
I closed my eyes in fear...ready to be eaten alive by this beast of a man.
"You low-lives first targeted my sister. Because she is rich and a sister of a rich and powerful man. And now you and your family targeted me...Thinking that why not take advantage of me taking you hostage and marry you off to me...What kind of disgusting people are you huh? You guys have no shame!" Akshat exclaimed as I felt a tear make its way through my closed eye. Consuming each and every poisonous word of his as it made its way inside of me. How can he accuse me in such manner?
"What a disgusting girl you are! Most of all your family! You and your family are truly full of filth. Full of disgust in the manner of how you and your family are making this disgusting story about you and me...Wow...just wow. Most of all I never thought that behind this innocent face is such a smart player. The way you manipulated dadi is incredible. Dadi's heart never melts away in an instant and that too for a stranger!...But you Guddan clearly are very smart," Akshat announced as he threw his head up in the air and slammed his hand against the wall as I trembled.
"Now speak! Say something! Come on baby...speak..." Akshat hissed as he grabbed my face forcing me to open my eyes as I looked up at him with tears rolling down my cheeks. Speak? What can I say? There is nothing to say...how am I supposed to fight for my case and innocence in front of a stranger when my own family didn't believe my innocence. I am tired...tired of vouching for my character and integrity...If no one wants to believe me then how can I fight against their ill thoughts?
"Speak!" Akshat yelled as he pushed me back against the wall as he took a step back. Thunder rumbling as a lightening flashed on both of us retrieving back behind the dark clouds. I stood still as I contemplated what to say or to even say anything, but somehow I mustered courage to say something.
"Speak?...What can I say? Even if I vouch for my truth...you wouldn't believe me. I vouched for my truth and for the purity of my character in front of my own family today...The family who raised me and whose own blood I am didn't trust me...didn't believe me then how will you? Think whatever you want to about me," I said lifelessly as I rested my head against the wall in silence as my tears dried on my cheeks. He stood still with his hands in his pockets as he looked at me. Biting his lips as he tried to chew on his opinion about me...confused yet determined that what he thinks about me is the ultimate iron-clad truth.
"Guddan..". I looked up and saw dadi walking up to me as she weakly smiled and grabbed my arm.
"Chalo...let me take you to your room," Dadi said as I walked in silence following her up the set of stairs. My eyes following back to Akshat as I looked down below at him as he looked up at me. His eyes following my each and every movement.
I looked away as I followed dadi as she took me to the same guest room I was in last night only this time I was here as a Guddan...not a hostage to be guarded at all times. Perhaps, I was here at my own will.
Dadi smiled as she grabbed my hands and made me sit down on the bed. I looked at her curiously...most of all wanting to question her words...the words she uttered downstairs of marrying me off to Akshat. How can she say that? I mean never in my right might would I envision myself as that man's wife. The coldness, the darkness of his character and that selfishness...how can I entwine my life with the life of a man like that? Never...all because of his actions I have been left abandoned my own family. He has maligned my character, my reputation and honor. How can I get married to him?
"Beta, I know what you are thinking.I know that this is not something you wanted. You probably had dreams regarding your wedding with your previous fiance. I know Akshat has wronged you. He is the cause of your state today. Not just Akshat, but the entire Jindal family has wronged you. But as the head of this family I want to correct that wrong and restore your reputation...your honor. I want you to live your life with dignity and grace...And you will as Akshat's wife," Dadi said with a hopeful voice as if she was trying to transmit that hope in me. But, I was not convinced. I have seen the shades of Akshat's personality and in no manner would he treat me right or treat me as his wife.
"Dadi...I respect you, but...how can I marry Akshat?...He has wronged me. Ruined me. How can I accept this proposal? He is angry...ready to take vengeance for what has happened regarding Lakshmi and Adi bhai...How can I believe that he would accept me? Accept this marriage? Most of all how can I believe that he would treat me right?" I said questioning her as dadi played with her fingers knowing I was correct in questioning this proposal. Questioning her idea.
"You are right beta...The reason why I made this decision is to restore your lost honor and reputation...to correct the wrong that has happened to you...Moreover, I see something in you...I get this feeling that you will be perfect for my Akshat. I know you will make him a better man. You will be the one who will settle his family life..." Dadi said as I looked away avoiding eye contact.
"I cannot...If you think I could marry him and form a family...that would be wrong...You are considering the wrong girl for this proposal...I cannot have kids first of all. Second, I do not think Akshat and I would ever have a strong base for marriage," I replied sternly as dadi's eyes widened as she looked at me. Ok I possibly slipped out the part that I cannot have kids, so somehow dadi would back away from this proposal, but I was wrong.
"That means this rishta with Akshat is made for you...Beta, through this marriage you will become a daughter-in-law and a wife, but most importantly a mother. A mother to Ira..." Dadi said. My eyes widened as I looked at her...contemplating what she was saying. A mother? To Ira? I cannot...I mean I never even held a baby and to hold a child's responsibility. She is so small and innocent...I cannot take take of her. I don't lnow how to.
"Dadi...Ira needs someone who is responsible and who knows how to take care of a child. I never even held a baby...how will I care for her?" I questioned Dadi trying to find ways to resist her decision of marrying me off to Akshat.
"Beta...no woman who becomes a mother knows automatically how to take care of a child...No matter how experienced they may be in handling children...no one knows how to care for a child every single moment of the day...I appreciate your honesty, but there is something about you that tells me you can be a wonderful mother to my Ira...a child who is deprived of a mother's love and a father's love," Dadi said. My heart breaking into pieces as I heard the last words of her sentence. Ira is so innocent and she deserves motherly love and care, but...I don't know if I have the power in me to marry Akshat. The man who ruinedmy entire life. How can I marry him?
"Guddan beta, I won't force you, but think about what I am saying...Anyways, you take rest and freshen up. The maid will bring a fresh set of clothes for you ok? I will be back later," Dadi said as she placed her hand on my head and walked off.
I sat still as I took a deep breath contemplating...about what decision I should make...There are so many cons to marrying Akshat...So cold, so dark and full of hate towards me...How can I expect him to treat me well or accept me? How can I accept him after what he has done to me and to my life? I cannot.
***Akshat***
Akshat sat still as the darkness of the clouds fell upon him. He sat in a wooden rocking chair as he looked outside the window of his room in silence. Full of anger and full of vengenance. How could dadi do this to him? How could she decide the path of his life and who he should marry? The moment he got divorced a year ago he had promised himself to never marry again. A horrible marriage that tortured him for seven years...how could he possibly enter another relationship like that...a worthless, meaningless relationship. How could dadi expect him to marry his enemy's sister?
He was satisfied...statisfied in ruining that girl's reputation...how could he just restore that lost reputation and honor that he himself had aimed to ruin the day he set his eyes on her.
That girl was indeed smart...she was indeed a manipulator who emotionally blackmailed his dadi, but he wasn't going to let her win and put her hands on his money, on his status and on his power. No one wins in front of Akshat Jindal.
"Sir," Avinash, his press spokesman, walked into the dark room nervous as he looked at him.
"What?" Akshat questioned as he turned towards him and looked at him in anger.
"I tried to speak to the press to quell the news about Guddan being taken hostage by you, unfortunately, the press is not budging...This is good news for them. Goods news for your rivals as well. In all these years not one negative tabloid or news has come against you, but now it has and the press will eat it up alive considering the fact that your rivals have paid them," Avinash noted.
Akshat looked up at him as he placed his foot over his other leg. A dangerous look on his face... scheming his next move.
"Pay them double as I told you. Create pressure and take the news off the air," Akshat replied sternly as he looked away out the window.
"Well, I wish I could, but women's rights organizations are speaking against you. They have strong contacts in the media and you know it as well," Avinash replied nervously.
Akshat slammed his hand against his chair as he threw his head up in the air as he ran his hands through his head. He slammed his hair back and got up on his feet as he grabbed Avinash's collar and looked him straight in the eyes.
"How much deepwater are we in Avinash?" Akshat questioned him as he looked up at him nervously.
"Investors and business partners are calling me and trying to understand what is going on and if the news is true. They are saying they will dissociate themselves from you if they find out that any of this true," Avinash said as Akshat pushed him back and turned his back towards him.
"Who leaked this?! Tell me who leaked this news?!" Akshat yelled in anger as he threw his head up in the air.
"A lot of people. I asked one of the mediapersons about who it was. They won't name people,but they said it was one of the guards and maids. Also, some of the neighbors who live by Guddan's house were questioned by the press and they told them yes they heard that she was taken hostage, but don't believe'. Anyways, leaking is normal sir, but what is wrong is the story that is being framed around you," Avinash noted.
"What is the update on Aditya and Lakshmi?" Akshat asked suddenly changing topics as his mind went on planning...something new.
"They are located...were located in Pune...they are married sir," Avinash said. Akshat stood still as his eyes stood wide open as he slowly turned around looking at Avinash.
"What.The. Hell." Akshat grumbled as he suddenly kicked a chair back and walked up to Avinash huffing and puffing in anger.
"What are you saying?! Huh! Answer me! Tell me the whole story!" Akshat yelled as Avinash trembled and looked at him.
"Our men got to them...at the court where they had a court marriage. They escaped from our men there and ever since then we haven't been able to locate them," Avinash nervously replied as Akshat stood still in shock.
How could this be happening? How could everything be ruined in an instant? His reputation, his honor, and his status. All ruined by that low life Aditya Gupta and his own sister. No...he cannot let this happen.
Nothing is going right. His power his being challenged and that cannot happen. That Aditya challenged his power. His sister Guddan did by disobeying him and escaping. The media is turning against him. And most of all his own sister ruined his reputation by running away and getting married. None of this right. None of it.
"Get out Avinash..." Akshat hissed as Avinash sighed as he walked out of the room slamming the door shut.
"Oh...Aditya...you will pay for this...maybe not directly, but through your sister. The pain you have given me by taking my sister away is unbearable. But, it's ok...your sister is here to pay for your dues," Akshat said smirking as he placed his hands in his pockets.
"Akshat..." Dadi said as she walked in as Akshat stood still scheming as he looked out at the rain pouring outside of his window.
"What dadi?" Akshat questioned as he looked back at her clearly angry regarding the decscion she had announced earlier.
"I know you have difficulty in understanding emotions Akshat...So, I will talk in a business point of view," Dadi said as Akshat raised his eyebrow looking curiously at her as she walked up to him.
"Our reputation is at stake. The media is questioning you. The neighbors and our family members our questioning us. Because of your mistake, an innocent person's life has been ruined. You have to marry Guddan and I know you won't agree to marry her unless you see your benefit. So, I have a deal," Dadi said as Akshat bit his lip as he looked at his hand and back at her.
"What sort of deal?" Akshat asked as he looked at her.
"That property you want to establish your next hospital...that dream project that you have. You always wanted one of my properties for that dream project and I was not getting convinced...Well now I am. Take it and marry Guddan," Dadi said sternly as Akshat's eyes widened as her demenoar. Dadi was smart. She always way. Never think she is emotional.
"I know that dream project is worth millions and the property you had previously zeroed in on...fell through. You have pressure...a lot of pressure to accomplish this project since you already announced in the media, so take the property," Dadi said.
Akshat smirked as he crossed his arms and looked at her as he shook his head.
"And why would I do that?...Why would I get married to that low-life? Most of all why are you doing this?" Akshat questioned her coldly.
"To save the name and reputation my husband and I have worked hard to bring about to our family. Your grandfather worked really hard to bring honor and status to our family and I have worked hard to maintain it. I cannot let my grandson ruin everything my husband had worked hard to create. Akshat...this family's izzat means everything to me. How people perceive us means a lot to me. I cannot let you ruin it...And I know you will marry Guddan. I know how you think," Dadi replied as a small smirk appeared on Akshat's lips.
"And don't play smart with me...When you marry Guddan, you marry her for life...Don't think you can fix everything for a moment...Don't think you can take the property and run off with it and divorce Guddan...I let you divorce Antara, but I won't let you leave Guddan. She will stay with you for the rest of your life," Dadi ordered as Guddan narrowed his eyebrows as Dadi looked up at him.
"You won't sign a prenuptial agreement with her. If you won't then you won't ever dare to divorce her because I know how much money means to you Akshat. You had previously done a prenuptial agreement with Antara and that's why it was easy for you to divorce to Antara," Dadi announced as Akshat threw his head up in the air as he looked at her.
"I don't intend to leave her...She and her family have dared to challenge me and I won't let her go...no matter what...I won't ever let her go for life," Akshat replied with a smirk as he looked at Dadi.
Dadi looked at him curiously as she shook her head realizing she couldn't truly read everything that was going on in his grandson's mind.
"So is that a yes? Will you marry Guddan?" Dadi questioned Akshat as Akshat smirked with evil changing its shades on his face as he threw his head up in the air.
"Of course...why wouldn't I want to marry her? Dadi...you didn't have to give me so much materialistic things to convince me...I already was scheming before that..somewhat convinced I would marry her, but it's alright...I will take whatever you give me...The property you have offered to give me has convinced me more and helped me finalize my decision that I will make Guddan my wife...I will make her Guddan Akshat Jindal," Akshat said as he let out a small chuckle as he began walking away from her.
"Where are you going Akshat?"
"To tell my would-be wife that we are going to get married of course. I want to give her the good news," Akshat said as he laughed and made his way out of his room.
****Guddan****
I brushed my hair lightly as I stared myself in the mirror. I couldn't even recognize myself as I looked into the mirror. Lifeless...without a soul...the was what could define me and my shades. Why has fate taken everything away from me? Why? Today would have been my wedding day...today everything would have been perfect. My family would have been happy and I would have started a new life, but everything that I once thought about and dream about is now all gone...why has fate been so horrendous to me?
I grabbed a red dupatta as I placed it around my neck as I fixed the sharara suit that the maid had given me to wear. I had finely gotten rid of that filthy black anarkali that brought darkness and ill fate to me the moment I wore it...That suit represented all the filth my own family and society had thrown at me...reflecting lost honor at the hands of a devil...I shook my head as I looked myself in the mirror only to encounter his face.
He stood still behind me as I gulped nervously feeling every hair on my body stick up as a shiver went down my spine. A small smirk lingering on his lips as he crossed his arms and stared at me through the mirror. His gaze standing still on my face...I lowered my eyes feeling uncomfortable as he kept staring at me without saying a word. I fixed my dupatta and placed it on my head trying to prevent him from staring at me as I tried to keep my face out of sight from him.
"Arre...why are you being shy from me? Huh? Look at me..." Akshat said as he suddenly grabbed my hand and slammed me against him as I struggled to loosen his grip.
He smirked as he placed his other hand tightly around my waist as I struggled to get rid of him. He was breathing lightly on to my face as he let out a light laugh as he walked me back to the wall and held me there as I tried to push his hand off of my waist.
"Arre...biwi...tumhare miya aaye hai...huh?" Akshat hissed with a hoarse voice as my eyes widened as I looked at him as he smirked and lightly placed his head against mine as I tried to push him back as he held onto my hand tightly caressing it.
"Don't be shy...mein ab tumhare miya hoon...We are going to get married and you are being so shy? Why?" He hissed as I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge as he stood close not moving an inch.
Marriage? What is he talking about? Does this mean he agreed to marry me? How could this be? I thought as I moved my eyes back and forth.
"Yes...I agreed to marry you. Now from now on you will be Guddan Akshat Jindal," Akshat announced as I stood still shell shocked at what I was hearing. How could this be? No...this is not possible.
"No...you cannot do this...I won't marry you! No matter what I won't marry you!" I exclaimed as I pushed him back roughly as he grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly close to him.
"Lower that tone! Don't you dare talk to me in such manner! Do you understand?!" Akshat yelled as I trembled as his voice echoed through my ears.
"Keep one thing straight. Tomorrow you will marry me and you will have to. You know how I am. I can do anything that I please...If you don't sit down on that mandap and marry me then your family will see the worse of me...do you understand? What has happened with you so far was a trailer, so don't push me," Akshat hissed as he looked eye to eye to me as he grabbed my shoulder and tightened his grip on them. Hurt my family? Would he really do that? No...I cannot let him hurt my family...No matter the fact that they have disowned me and do not see me as their own...they are still family and I cannot let them get hurt.
"Your Papa has taken a heavy loan from me for your supposed wedding...it didn't happen, but a loan is a loan...In one minute I could get him kicked out of his own home along with his entire family...One call away and I can bring them on the streets...Now, would you want that?" Akshat said as I looked at him trembling as I gulped nervously realizing he could do anything. If he could take me hostage and ruin me...then ruining my family and bringing on the streets would be something he could easily do.
"Uff...the moment I laid my eyes on you...I knew our story would be different. Something about you definitely attracts me," Akshat whispered as he placed his hand lightly on my cheek, softly caressing it. My skin heating up under his touch as I trembled and lowered my eyes. He continue caressing my cheek as if I was an object. I took in a deep breath as I looked away from him.
Be brave Guddan. Be brave. Fight for yourself. He cannot just threaten you and force you into a marriage. Fight for yourself...and fight for your right of choice. What he is doing is illegal and I will not let him force me into a marriage. I tried to muster courage as I looked up at him as I tried to push him away.
"Do whatever you want and threaten as much you want to. But, I cannot marry you! No matter what I cannot!" I yelled as his eyebrows narrowed as he slammed the wall as he looked at me and suddenly grabbed the back of my neck pulling me close to him as I stood still not moving one bit as I held my ground. His eyes cold and fresh of anger as he stood still holding on to the back of my head tangling his hands into my hair as he brought his face close towards me. His hand still as he tightened his grip around the nape of my neck.
"Don't dare me," Akshat hissed as I stood still looking straight into his eyes daring him to destroy me...destroy someone who already has turned into ashes.
"You cannot destroy and ruin someone who already has become ashes. Every piece of me has been destroyed," I said bravely as I held on to my dupatta tightly gathering strength.
His eyes stood close to mines' studying them as I stood still not moving one bit as I put on a brave face.
"You don't know what I can do...What I can do in this moment," Akshat threatened as he placed his face closer to mines.
"I am lifeless...Every single piece that made me has been broken down and burned into ashes by you. You don't have anything to destroy me," I whispered as I felt a tear roll down my cheek as he clenched his teeth at me.
"Your family...I can destroy them," Akshat replied as a small smirk appeared on his face as I shook my head and looked up at him.
"Mera rab hai...Mera rab...He will save them...I trust Him," I said as he I placed my body against the wall as his hand rested lightly on my neck as he loosened his grip.
"Your reputation couldn't be saved. How will your family be saved?" Akshat questioned me.
"That was my fate. My fate had determined that you would ruin me. But, I know my God cannot hurt my family. He will not let you hurt them," I muttered as he grabbed my arm and threw me on the bed as he grabbed my face and looked into my eyes.
"One day will be mine...that day I will destroy you and your family," Akshat said as he looked into my eyes as I looked into his eyes attempting to not be fearful him. He pushed me back as he walked out of my room as I laid still on my bed.
"Guddan..." I looked up and saw Dadi walking in with a worried look on her face as she walked up to me as I sat up on my bed.
"Beta, I know this is hard for you. Hard to accept Akshat as your husband," Dadi said as she sat down and grabbed my hand.
"But...your reputation and my family's reputation is at a dangerous line where it can be completely broken. I want you to once think about this proposal," Dadi said as I sat still looking away and out towards the window as the thunder rumbled.
"My reputation has already been filled with filth...a filth that cannot be wiped off easily. I am destroyed. When I look at myself in the mirror, I cannot recognize myself. All I see is filth," I replied silently as I looked straight ahead avoiding her gaze.
"A filth that this marriage can remove. If a name is given to your and Akshat's relationship, the filth that the world has placed on you will be wiped off by it as well. Tell me what will you do if you do not marry Akshat? Huh?...There is no one you can turn to. For once think about yourself," Dadi said urging me to accept her idea. I felt my dupatta slip off of me revealing the filth I was trying to cover on my body with it.
"I cannot see myself as his wife. I do not know how he got convinced to marry me, but I do know, he has no intentions to accept me as his wife," I whispered as I looked down at my lap as I wiped away my tears.
"I do not know what to say, but only that your fate has brought you here. Your fate has brought Akshat into your life for a reason. Beta, this is what your fate is signaling to you. I know Akshat has wronged you, but for once think what you will do if you do not marry him. This society won't let you survive. Say yes," Dadi pleaded as I shook my head and looked away.
"This society hasn't let me survive. It has killed me. Everything that made me who I was...it has killed it," I replied.
"Then let this relationship revive you. Please, say yes. For once think how things can change for the better. You have an opportunity to wipe away the filth off your reputation. Think beta," Dadi said as she looked at me.
"There are other ways to improve my reputation than simply getting married," I replied.
"Other ways are present, but for once think about marriage Guddan. This marriage might bring peace to your family and to your life. Perhaps, a bond between Akshat and you might bring peace to the storm that has been ignited and brought into my family an your family because of Lakshmi and Aditya. It is possible, your family might be happy you married Akshat and accept you," Dadi said as I sighed and rested on her thought.
Could it be possible that issues will be amended between our families? Maybe, my family could possibly accept me again if I marry Akshat. What is my fate leading me to? Is this what fate has decided for me? Is this what fate wants? I repeated the questions in my mind and then what had happened with me in the past few days. I repeated the taunts that society had laid upon me and the filth that my own family had thrown at me. I cannot live my entire life with an ill reputation. Is marriage the only solution? Even if I work hard to improve my life...this one incident will haunt me everywhere. Society is made that way. But, how can I marry Akshat?...But, then what other option do I have to make everything right? To make peace between our families and to make my family accept me again. I sighed as I looked back at Dadi.
"Yes...I will marry Akshat," I said as I felt my throat knot up. Dadi smiled as she hugged me as I hugged her back.
What have I done?...No Guddan, you have made a step towards making things right...take it and move forward. This is the only path that fate is signaling you to take.
"I will let everyone know you said yes. I knew you would say yes. I know you are a good soul beta and you want things to be right," Dadi said as she touched my cheek and walked away.
I sat still as I tried to take in everything. I slipped and laid down on to the bed...still and emotionless... What is happening? How has life made me so vulnerable? So vulnerable...that is nothing is in my control...the smallest bit for power and self-will has slipped out of hand...The reason I accepted this proposal is for my family's wellbeing and for creating peace. Moreover, I want my family to accept me back and accept me as their family member. My reputation might just improve if I marry Akshat...but still... how can fate be so cruel? Why has fate brought me to this path. How can it do this to me? I placed my hand on my mouth as I began crying...letting out every ounce of pain I had endured so far...I shook my head as I digged my finger nails into the bedsheet...How can I marry him? How? I sighed as I laid my head on to the bed as I curled up trying to shut everything out.
****Night****
My feet touched the cool grass as I walked on it in silence looking out on to the hills. I stared at my hands as I noticed the mehendi fading...My eyes stopped at the name on my palm...Vivek...I sighed as I realized a past that seemed unfamiliar now...a wedding that I once thought was in the near future...a future dreamed about with Vivek. I sighed as I closed my fist and looked out onto the dark night sky as I stood still.
"What happened?" I quickly turned around at the abrupt sound of a hoarse voice. It was Akshat who stood still right behind me. I lowered my eyes as I avoided his gaze as he walked up to me.
"What are you doing here?" Akshat questioned as he looked down at me as I looked away.
"I am asking you question. So, answer me. What are you doing here?" Akshat questioned as I looked up at him nervously...His mere presence made me nervous. For some reason whenever I encountered him I felt tongue tied and didn't have the ability to make full sentences.
"Um...nothing..I was feeling anxious..." I mumbled as he raised his eyebrow at me as he looked back at the bungalow that stood far away from where we were standing near the large pair of trees heading its way down to a hiking trail behind the estate.
"Now you have to spend your entire life here. You have to learn how to live in a place like this. Most importantly, learn how to live with me," Akshat noted as I looked away from him and straight ahead.
His hand slowly wrapped around mine as I tried to pull it away from him as he held on to it tightly.
"My hand is meant to hold yours. From now on nobody can dare to take you away from me," Aksat said smirking as I raised my eyebrow at him. What is he saying? What does he mean?
"Walk with me," Akshat ordered as he held on to my hand as I looked away and rolled my eyes as I began walking besides him.
What is he going to say now? Now what did I do? I thought as Akshat entwined his fingers forcefully into mines as he tightened his grip on to my hand.
The wind lightly whistled as I tried to keep calm and listen to the wind and breath in fresh air to keep myself calm. Anxiety had always been a weakness of mine. It was something I always tended to have a battle with. Sometimes it goes into remission and other times it flares up in times when I am under intense stress and pressure. The stress that I have been put under for the past few days is definitely a contributing factor to anxiety.
"You were so determined to not marry me...The attitude, the stubbornness, and the bravery you displayed in front of me told me you won't say yes. Then what happened?" Akshat questioned as I stopped in my tracks.
"Got scared of me probably. Good you said yes since the threat I gave you of ruining your family would have been come to life," Akshat announced as he held on to my hand as we began walking again.
"In the past you have dared to challenge me...challenge my authority by running away despite my warning to you. Now if you are thinking of running away from me then you do not know what I will do to you. Do you understand?" Akshat said sternly. I gulped nervously as I looked back at him. He was not joking one bit. He was dead serious and I could tell by his threatening tone that he meant every single word he said.
Even if I attempt to run away, where would I run away to? I don't have any place to call home or any know of any shelter that would take me in.
"I don't have any other place to run away to. Where will I go?" I whispered as I looked up at him as he looked at me and bit his lip, chewing on it lightly as he held on to my hand.
"Even if you have a place to run away to in the near future. Don't you dare run away from me. You are going to be Guddan Akshat Jindal. The weight of the surname Jindal carries a lot of responsibility and reputation. Every single step you take, every single word you say, and how you carry yourself reflects on me. So, don't you dare try to do anything that would ruin my name or my reputation," Akshat warned coldly.
I felt a creepy shiver go down my spine as his words aroused more stress and anxiety...anxiety regarding what our marriage would hold. What would I have to do as his wife? How will I be able to fulfill this bond of marriage. How will I spend my entire life with this man. He seems very conservative and narrow minded. Moreover, he's many years older than me probably contributing to his narrow mindedness. He's 35 and I'm 22. And odd match already. A match imbalanced in age, power and thoughts. I always thought my husband would be more liberal-minded, thus, helping me escape from the conservative culture I had lived all my life under my parents' and grandmother's iron clad rule. But, I guess I was wrong. Some things never let go of you.
"From now on everything you do, say, every single step you take will be decided by me...Don't take me lightly. I mean every word I say," Akshat announced as he grabbed the palm of my hand and opened it.
"And this name...this filthy name... 'Vivek'...should not be seen on your palm tomorrow. You get that? My name should be written on every single part of your soul...Get one thing in your mind... from now on the only man you ever will think about would be me. Only my name should be on your lips. Think only about my needs. Do you understand?" Akshat said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. I stood in silence not trying to resist him as I looked away realizing resisting and arguing back would be of no help. It would only trigger him more and make him more angry.
His words did pierce me...the way he noted how I was a piece of object he could own...the way he used words to portray how he owned me. Words and ideas that were somewhat breaking me. Telling me I was not human, but I knew I had to keep courage. I have to be brave and face every problem and challenge. I cannot be weak and give up.
He held me close as his eyes trailed up and down my face as I avoided his gaze and looked away. From the corner of my eye I noticed a small smirk appear on his face as he traced his hand down to my waist setting his hand against a small pulse that beated lightly against my skin. I felt my cheeks warm up under his touch...his touch feeling foreign and unknown to my body as it slightly creeped up on me.
"And this shyness...this tendency to avoid my gaze. Keep it for the rest of your life. Do you understand?" Akshat said as I nodded. He pushed me away lightly as he grabbed my hand and we began walking.
"Were you always like this? Quiet, shy, reserved..." Akshat said questioning me as I felt my foot tripping as I grabbed on to his arm tightly. He smirked as he placed his other hand on mines and looked at me.
"Life makes you who you are," I replied as he looked away as I looked up at the stars reflecting on us as I looked at them...Trying to find my own path and fate.
*****The next day*****
The cool dark color of mehendi held on to my hands as I stared at my hands... "Akshat...I closed them shut as Dadi placed the churas on my hand symbolizing a soon to be bond that I would be tied in. I looked up at Durga di, Akshat's sister, who fixed my dupatta on my head.
"You are looking very beautiful. Right dadi?" Durga di said smiling as dadi smiled and shook her head.
"Of course. I just feel bad that the wedding is being so rushed," Dadi said as the makeup artist touched up my makeup.
"It's ok dadi. What matters to us is that our Akshat is settling down and getting married. His family life is finally going to settle down," Durga di replied smiling at me as I weakly smiled trying to maintain calm as I was in a state of turmoil mentally.
Ever since I woke up today, the idea of marrying Akshat has been daunting me and just the thought of being his wife for rest of my life is giving me so much anxiety. How would I bear him? What would he do to me? How will he treat me? These questions heightening my anxiety and twisting and knotting a weird feeling in my chest.
I stared at my reflection in mirror looking at the unfamiliar face in front of me. My hair tied up in a low bun as a pair of red roses entwined with it and gave it a crown. I noticed the pair of heavy traditional Indian earrings pulling down on my ear lobes as it was anchored by a long anklet string tied back to my bun. A large ruby colored necklace embraced my neckline as another long pair fell down. What have I become? This is not me as I stared at my face powdered and colored by makeup as a dull dark beige colored lipstick reflected the dullness of my face. No happiness, no brightness, no glow that a bride should have.
The makeup artist fixed a large round nose ring onto my nose as she connected the thread back to my hair. I stared at the large dark marroon shaded lehenga that weighed down on me as I tried to pull down on my sleeve around my elbow. I sighed as I tried to breath amongst the tight lehenga, the heavy jewelry and the tight hairstyle...all of it elevated my anxiety more.
"Acha...Guddan I think it is time to go now huh?" Durga di said as she smiled and placed the maroon colored veil over my face. The world all appeared red as dadi smiled and looked at me.
"It's tradition in our family that the bride has her face covered until the nupitals are done. Then your face will revealed during the muh dikhahi to our relatives," Dadi said as I weakly shook my head understanding her trail of actions.
"Well, let's go ok?" Durga di said smiling as I got up and picked up my lehenga trying to drag the heavy blob as I we walked out of the room and down the pair of stairs. The house dazzled in roses and lights as they shined and brightened up the house. It truly was majestic as I looked around and tried to gather in the surroundings.
I walked slowly as Durga di picked up my lehenega a little bit to help me get down the long pair of stairs. I walked quietly out of the large two French doors on to the lawn as I noticed a large array of guests laughing, talking and dressed in pure elegance as they awaited for the wedding ceremony to start. The dark night sky glowing above them as the stars shined and welcomed us.
A pair of pair came up and raised a large rose gold veil over us as small trinkles of flowers limped down over me. A long trail of red roses awaited me as it led to a brightly lit up mandap. The mandap stood in a golden colored circle as my eyes trailed up to Akshat who stood in a dark golden colored embroderied sherwani as he held a large red embroderied scarf from his shoulder and over his arm.
In this moment everything seemed perfect. The moment seemed majestic and as a dream. I felt rose petals falling on me as I made my way towards the mandap. But, somehow it felt like I was walking towards my reckoning. I felt my hands tremble as I stared at the agni lit up in front of me. The fire representing the complete destruction of my own identity.
I walked up the small pair of stairs as Akshat held on to my hand and pulled me up as he held on to it tightly. My eyes stood still as they stared at his feet. For some reason I couldn't gather the courage to look up at him. For some reason I was feeling shy, too shy at the moment as I felt my heart beating fast.
This was not how I had imagined my wedding to be and for some reason moments before I was feeling dreadful of even walking to the mandap, but for some reason that feeling...the feeling of getting married is purely unique. The nervousness, the shyness and the fear of the unknown all packed together in one moment. I wonder how this marriage will turn out to be. I wonder how will he be as husband? How will I be as a wife?
My hand trembled in his as I felt his gaze upon me as he looked down towards me trying to look at my face as it stood covered by the maroon dupatta. My eyes slowly went up as I looked at him feeling shy in that moment as I attempted to make eye contact with him.
He looked handsome. Words couldn't describe how he appeared as he stood grand and tall in the golden and maroon colored sherwani as it tightened around his muscles giving him the perfect fit. His brown eyes shining lightly as they stood still upon my face. His eyes stood narrowed and he stood stone faced and emotionless as he held on to my hand.
I flashbacked to everything that happened between us as I broke out of the spell realizing the reality of this wedding. The cause behind this wedding and what had gone down between us.
Durga di brought a tray in front of us holding a pair of rings in a small cluster of rose petals.
Akshat grabbed a large rose-colored, diamond ring as he grabbed my left hand and placed it in his as he looked upon me. Claps erupting as he took the small symbol of a bond of eternity and slipped it down my finger. My eyes standing still on the ring that had replaced a small golden band that Vivek had placed on my hand. Remembering the claps and cheers from my family members. The utter and pure joy on their faces that I was getting married. Unfortunately, I couldn't witness that joy again today.
I noticed a layer of cameras flashing upon us as it blinded me slightly. I grabbed hold of the rose gold band as Akshat held his hand out for me. I held on to it lightly as I placed the ring into his finger bonding myself to him and every single part of his life.
Everyone clapped as a large crowd of guests gathered around the mandap. A tray of garland appeared before us as I grabbed one and Akshat grabbed the other. I lowered my head as he placed the garland around me.
I looked up realizing he was tall as a tower as I fell short of his shoulders. He clearly was not going to lower his head as he stared down at me. I bit my lip annoyed as I tried to stand up on my toes to put the garland above him.
I felt my foot slipping as I placed my garland over him. His hands immediately wrapping around my waist as I held on to him tightly as my hands wrapped around his shoulders. His eyes locking on to mines as I stared at the redness of his face through my veil. His eyes full of a flood of emotions that could not be read. His face looking royal and majestic under the crme colored lights that held above us on the mandap. My heart began racing fast as he held me close against his chest. My eyes trailed over his face taking in his features and somewhat admiring them. Everything felt right...the way he held me and I held on to him. It was as if we fit perfectly together as pieces of a puzzle.
If only things were right. If only this was an alternate universe in which we had not encountered each other on a dark path...then maybe this moment would have been perfect. This wedding would have been perfect. Maybe we would have loved each other. But, this is not an alternate universe. This is a broken reality shifted upon us due to the mistakes and misdeeds of our family members.
"Arre...bhai. Let go of Guddan nah? There is also suhaag raat, Durga di said winking as a pair of Akshat's cousins hooted as Akshat threw them a glare as he balanced me back on my feet as he let go of my waist as I lowered my hands away from him and fixed the long pair of kalereein.
Akshat and I sat down in front of the panditji as he began reading his mantras. Everything felt like a daze as the hymns mixed with the dark smoke flowing out of the agni as we sat still. My eyes wandered up hunting for familiar faces...looking for my own family. But no one was in sight. Only strange faces stared upon us. My eyes caught hold of a small familiar face, realizing it was Ira. Dadi stood afar holding her away from the smoke. I smiled weakly as I looked at the small, innocent face as I latched on to some innocence that I had lost.
Akshat grabbed my hand and placed it in his as the panditji began saying the mantras. I sat silently realizing someone had to do my kanyadan. I looked up and saw Akshat signaling a couple to come and sit down to do my kanyadan. Akshat referring them to his chacha and chachi. They sat down as the pandit began speaking the mantras. I closed my eyes trying to control my emotions as I realized how important this ritual was and how my parents were not here to be part of it. They disowned me of course. How can they be here.
Durga di walked up to us as she grabbed the end of my dupatta and tied it tightly to the large veil on Akshat's shoulder. I sat still as I stared at the mehendi on my hand as Akshat grabbed on to it and pulled me up.
He stood still like stone not moving an inch of his body as he looked straight ahead as the pandit began the mantras. Never had I thought that one day I would a beast's wife.
"Prepare to be ruined," Akshat hissed as I looked up at him as he smirked.
He pulled on my hand hard as we began walking around the agni as it began tying us in mantras and bonds that were complete strangers to us. I looked up at Akshat as he looked straight ahead holding on to my hand.
From now on I will be Akshat's wife. From now on I will have to fulfill my duties as a wife. I cannot go against him or his will. However, I will try my best to make him a better human being.
Somehow each step and each vow we began to be tied us...somehow made me feel that I was destroying some part of me that was left alive as I felt the fire burn my identity. I walked silently ahead trying to understand the path that life was about to embark me on. Was it right? Was it wrong? These were not the questions I could ask myself now. It was too late to turn back.
Akshat kept a stern look on his face as we sat down as Durga di brought forth a small tray holding a mangalsutra and sindoor. My soul trembling at the sight of it as I realized what I was about to be bonded in. Who was I about to share a pure bond with for the rest of my life.
Durga di lifting my dupatta up as my gaze stood lowered. Akshat's eyes stood still as he took in my features. My eyes standing still on the sindoor as I stared at the redness of it...symbolizing love and purity,each of which I was deprived of.
Akshat grabbed a small pinch of the purity as he moved my maang tikka aside as I felt the purity enrich the partition in my hair as his thumb stood still on my head as I raised my eyes and looked up at him.
He grabbed the long mangalsutra as he approached my neckline. His fingers lingered on the nape of my neck as he clipped it on. The black beads embracing me and sticking on to my skin as it brought out a sense of a pure bond that I had just been tied in. These black beads...each holding meaning of love, trust, purity and honor that had tied both of us together.
My eyes widened as I looked up at him as he looked at me. Both of us realizing we have been tied in an unwanted bond. A bond that will now tie both each of us together for the rest of our lives. A smirk appeared on his face as he looked at me. That smirk telling me everything and revealing what the rest of my life was going to be like. I had set on the path of my ruination.
Promo:
I sat still as I wrapped my sari's pallu around me as he walked towards me. He was ready to begin his threats and begin to expel his anger upon me. Only that he stopped. His eyes widening as he looked behind me. I raised my eyebrow at him curiously as I noticed the shades of his face change color. I suddenly turned around as I stood shell shocked at the sight in front of me.
"Adi bhai..."
"Lakshmi..."
Thank you for reading 😃 I am not sure how you feel about the story so far. Please let me know how the pace of the story is. If possible please like this post and/or comment. Let me know if I should continue writing. I am putting quite a bit of time into writing these chapters over the week, so please let me know how you like the story. I really want to know what you think 😃 Thank you so much 😊
-Jasmine
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