Silent Whispers
-CHAPTER FIVE-
The First Sight
"Careful Meeti!" Shashi called, as an eight-year old Khushi ran to the swings and tried desperately to get on, even though it was nowhere within reach.
"Babujiii," she called, beckoning him to help her.
Shashi smiled and obediently listened to her command. "Hold on tight," he cautioned, before pushing her high into the air.
The rather quiet park was immediately filled with laughs as Khushi demanded to be pushed higher and higher. She enjoyed the rush of air against her face, though at that age, all she understood were the small butterflies creeping through her stomach as she fell from height. To her, this was what flying was.
"More," she called back to her father, wanting to almost touch the white fluffy clouds adorning the clear skies.
"You will fall Meeti."
"No, no... I want to fly like those birds," she said, pointing to a couple of sparrows passing by.
Shashi's reply, however, was cut off by the arrival of a panting Shyam.
"Babuji," he said, clutching his stomach. It appeared as if he ran for miles.
"What's wrong?"
"An old man in a black BMW came... Maa is worried. Come fast!"
Shashi paled, as he understood what was happening. And without a second thought, he began to run back to their house, leaving Khushi still soaring into the sky. Shyam watched his sister, giggling to herself, a bad feeling overtaking him.
"Meeti," he called, worriedly. "Get down! We have to leave!"
Khushi pouted. "I don't wanna go Bhaiyya! It's so much fun here..."
"Meeti listen to me. We have to leave now!"
When she continued to ignore him, Shyam edged towards her and grabbed the chains of the swing, forcing it to a stop.
"Bhaiyya!!" she groaned, unhappy at the abrupt stop.
"Let's go," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back in the way he came.
Khushi tried hard to keep up, but her short legs were no match for Shyam's long ones. By the time she arrived home, not too far from the park, a tight stitch was gripping her stomach. She took deep breaths, trying to force air into her lungs.
"Bhaiy-"
"Shh!" Shyam said, pressing a finger to her lips.
It was then that Khushi realized that they were at the back entrance of their small house, crouching behind the half-open door, from which angry voices were emanating.
"Oh stop it Garima!" she heard her father bellow. "Stop being melodramatic!"
"And what about you? All this time, I kept thinking-"
"That's your problem - you can never get past thinking."
"Enough Shashi! I kept quiet for the past three years, thinking you might be going through a tough time, but that doesn't mean you can take advantage of me and my children."
"Do you even hear yourself? You kept quiet all this time because you needed me. So, d-"
"Needed you?! How can you conveniently forget what my father has done for you? You wouldn't even been standing here, without him!"
"And what about all that I did for you?"
"Shashi," Garima said in disbelief. "We are married..."
"No, we aren't," he answered simply. "You are better off signing that agreement."
Silence plunged across the room, as Khushi nervously peeked in, trying to understand why her parents were so angry. She glanced up at her brother, who stood rooted to the spot, his face pale.
"No, I won't," Garima said, finally. Her voice appeared determined.
"Don't be silly. You have no idea what Mr. Roy will do - he can go to any lengths for his daughter. Sign that agreement if you know what's good for this family."
"Yeah, I can see how quickly it became this family from your family. Tell me Shashi, do you think it is that easy to end things?"
"Don't look at me like that. You knew this was coming, in fact you had it coming."
"I guess old habits never die. You are back to the blame game an-"
"I don't understand what's the big deal! Things will be the same - I will keep sending money for your monthly expenses, Shyam and Khushi will continue going to school. You don't even have to find a job! What else do you need?!"
Garima stared at her husband in astonishment. "You will never understand what I need Shashi. You are gravely mistaken if you think I will sign that agreement!"
Shashi let out a sigh. "Then be prepared to watch this family rip apart."
"I will."
"You left me with no choice."
And he began to head to the door, when Garima couldn't restrain her anger anymore. "I WILL TAKE THIS TO COURT SHASHI! I'M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I WILL GO TO COURT!"
Her shouts were useless, for Shashi had already walked out of the front door.
Khushi opened her eyes to stare at the steering wheel in front of her.
That was the last time she saw her parents together. She was barely eight, and yet she remembered every single word. She asked her brother afterwards what happened - why did Maa yell so much? Where did Babuji go? Of course, Shyam had said nothing.
She learned quickly after that things were never going to be all right. For one, her father never came home. She would occasionally catch a glimpse of him on the news, but other than that, there was no sight of him. He never made an attempt to contact her or her brother, though the monthly cheques he promised were delivered promptly. It was another thing that she awaited the cheques, hoping that he would send something else with it - a note, a gift, anything. After a couple of years, that expectation was also forgotten.
On the other hand, her mother sank into a deep depression that clinically was not curable. Their grandfather was summoned from the village when it first began, but no matter what he did, her mother never recovered. Khushi remembered the numerous doctors that visited in her childhood, each suggesting a different medication, a new anti-depressant, but none of them worked. Garima was far too lost in her sorrow to care for anything, not even her two young children, who were solely dependent on her.
Those were probably the darkest times of Khushi's life. She never quite forgot how worried her brother was, or how desperately he tried to shield her from it all. It did sort of work, thanks to Jaya whose only duty was to keep choti Madamji distracted. But a few things still made it through to her eyes and those were the memories she really wished to forget.
But she couldn't.
They were so tortuously drilled into her, that no matter what she did, they managed to haunt her conscious mind. As the days passed, she slowly began to piece together her parent's separation, picking up on the news and sometimes the hushed conversations between Shyam and Garima. And the more she learned, the more she was convinced it was her mother's fault. Why else would her father decide to wake up one day and just leave? Why did he so blatantly claim that they were not married?
You had it coming, he had said. It was obvious that Garima knew about their impending separation and did nothing about it. If not, why would her father ask her to sign that agreement? Almost beg her to do it? He clearly wanted to fix things, but her mother didn't allow it. She dragged the whole family to court, not caring about the trauma it caused her children, or the devastating consequences it would result in. She was ready to rip everyone apart, just as her father warned.
And that's precisely why, Khushi was determined never to forgive Garima. Ever since that fateful day in Delhi's Supreme Court, she was banned from meeting her father. And after sixteen long years, when she finally dared to go see him, he didn't even acknowledge her. He had moved on, while she was still stuck on that swing, trying to soar as high as the sparrows.
Her fate, it appeared, was beyond cruel.
RING RING
Khushi glanced at her phone, almost glad for the distraction. "Hello?"
"Khushi where are you?!" said an anxious Akash.
"Why? What happened?"
"Aman called and I don't know what he said, but Lavs has been crying ever since. Can you please come right away?"
"Are you sure it was Aman? She never fights with him, to cry over it. Maybe it's something else."
"Erm... no, I'm sure it was Aman. Just come right away okay?"
Khushi gasped, suddenly remembering the plans for her surprise birthday party. She almost shook her head at Akash'a excuse; she knew Lavanya long enough to know that she never fought with Aman and more so, burst into tears for it. It was too dramatic to be true.
It's the thought that counts.
She remembered her brother's words from that morning, and couldn't seem to agree more. It seemed that except him and her best friends, no one in the world gave a damn that it was her birthday today.
So, she simply said, "I'm on my way."
* * *
The drive to Akash's house was short and uneventful. Khushi was almost surprised to notice that it was well into the afternoon. The roads were preparing for an onslaught of the evening rush hour, while vendors began to head home. She realized with disappointment that she had spent the whole day in her car, recollecting memories she didn't want to remember.
What a complete waste of time!
Admonishing herself, she carefully parked her car in front of Shantivaan, the white mansion Akash called home and set out along the driveway. She had always admired the house, ever since the first time she laid her eyes on almost two years ago when she gave Akash a ride home. Of course, he merely dismissed her appreciation.
"It's just a house," he told her with a shrug. "My father built it a long time ago to show off how rich he was. Back then, this used to be the biggest house in the entire colony."
It was then that Khushi really understood how much Akash disliked the mention of his family in any way or form. He resented their disapproval for a career in painting, though it didn't stop him from pursuing it.
If only he understood that it was better to have a family that cared what he did, rather than having none at all, she thought, ringing the doorbell.
When no one answered, she carefully pushed open the unlocked doors and stepped into the darkened house. "Hello?" she called.
"SURPRISE!!"
Khushi almost jumped upon hearing the deafening shouts. She watched in amazement as the lights turned on to reveal a swarm of people surrounding her, some pulling her into a hug while others threw wishes at her. Despite, all the annoyance she had at the mere idea of this party, she realized with a jolt, that she enjoyed it more than anything.
"Thank you," she said, to numerous familiar faces, while her eyes wandered through the crowd, trying to locate her two best friends who were oddly absent.
"He is not here," said a quiet voice in her ear.
Khushi turned around to see a tall girl, with waist length hair beaming back at her. Despite looking nothing alike, she wore a smile that was oddly similar to her twin's.
"I don't know who you are talking about Anjali," Khushi answered with a shrug.
"Really?" Anjali asked in mock disappointment. "And here I was, thinking - sorry, no - dreaming that you were looking for my duffer of a brother. Guess I was wrong."
Khushi almost rolled her eyes. In her two years of friendship with Akash, she had met Anjali only a couple of times. And yet, the two got along as if they had known each other for years.
"Okay fine," Khushi accepted. "I was looking for Akash. I wanted to thank him for such a big surprise... I didn't expect it."
Anjali raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me that you actually didn't figure out there was surprise party for you?"
"Will you believe me if I say yes?"
"No," Anjali said with a grin. "I know my brother - he can't keep a secret."
"In his defense, he was actually pretty good. It was Lavanya who gave it away."
"My point remains - of all the people he could have told, he told Lavanya. I mean, what was he thinking?!"
Khushi laughed. It was one of Anjali's greatest gifts to connect with someone. No matter how quiet or reserved a person was- she always found a way to bond with them. And perhaps, that was why Khushi got along so well with her.
"By the way, where is Nani? I didn't see her around."
Anjali let out a sigh. "She went back to our ancestral house for a few days... some renovations to take care of."
"Then why didn't she take you? I'm sure an interior designer would be more than useful."
"No point. Nani won't let anyone change anything. It's literally still arranged the way it was fifty years ago!"
Khushi nodded understandingly. "That sucks... But at least you got a chance to decorate today's party. And not that I am biased or anything, but it looks gorgeous!"
And gorgeous it did look. The vast hall of Shantivaan was decorated exquisitely with fairy lights coloring the room, drapes hanging artistically across the walls and flowers of all shades wafting through the air. It was truly a sight to behold!
"Nope," Anjali replied. "I had nothing to do with this. Akash took care of the whole thing."
Khushi's eyes widened. "Akash did it this?"
"Literally with his own two hands. He would let me anywhere near it!"
Khushi was dumbstruck. Her eyes wandered across the room once again, awed to see all the hard work displayed in front of her eyes. Despite having known Akash for two years, she felt as if she never understood capabilities as an artist until that moment.
"He has been planning it for days now," Anjali continued. "And I think he was actually worried if you would like it or not."
Khushi cleared her throat. "Where is he?"
Anjali smiled knowingly. "Upstairs in his room - he is waiting for you."
Khushi nodded and slipped through the crowd to the second floor landing, her mind ringing with Lavanya's words.
My point is that he is love with you Khushi. Or he thinks he is.
That was very obvious. The amount of work in put into liking her and their relationship was downright heart wrenching. It's as if his feelings for her only got stronger with time.
Khushi let out an exasperated sigh. She wished she could return the feelings. She wished it was as easy for her, as it was for him. Only it wasn't. The word love lost its meaning the day her father walked away and his mother let him. The mention of a relationship only reminded her of the failure her family went through.
And there was nothing in the world that could change it.
But that didn't mean she wouldn't try. No, if there was anything she learned that day, it was that she had very few people who cared for her and come what may, she wasn't going to lose them. So making up her mind, she knocked on the Akash's door, promising herself to try harder.
"Akash?" she called hesitantly, when there was no reply. She slowly pushed open the door to find it completely dark. She gingerly stepped in, trying to feel her way inside.
"Are you here?" she asked again.
She waited for an answer, or even a slight rustle of sound for that matter, but none came. She hopelessly groped in the dark for a light switch, but seemed to hit empty air. She was just about to give up and head back out, when she heard, or rather felt, another presence in the room.
"Akash?" she called, squinting in the dark to see the blurry outline of a tall frame, standing directly in front of her. She took a few steps closer, when the man's cologne suddenly hit her. She let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank god it's you," she muttered. "I was starting to get worried."
He didn't reply, instead choosing to cross his arms across his chest.
"Listen," Khushi said slowly, even though he made no sound to interrupt her whatsoever. "I want to tell you something."
She took a deep breath and plunged right into a complete babble of words. "I'm not good at this whole relationship thing Akash... I told you that the day you asked me out. But you didn't give up on me. Whether it was my complicated family or just my complicated brain... you kept up. And you cared. You cared whether I was happy, or sad, or angry... the list goes on."
She paused, trying to collect her thoughts together.
"You did all that even though I have been pushing you away for four months now. The truth is I never really believed in us. I never thought we would last longer than a week, forget four months, but we did. And now, when we are two weeks away from graduating, the only thing I can think about is how stupid I was to not even give us a chance. I mean you are my best friend... of course you will be the perfect boyfriend, right?"
Khushi looked up, even though she could make out nothing in the dark. When there was no answer, she took a step closer so that she was pressed against him.
"So, in short," she whispered. "What I wanna say is that this has been one hell of a day. And the only thing that made is memorable is you and your beautiful surprise. I wish I could express myself the way you do, but I can't. It's just not me. But hopefully this tells you exactly how much you mean to me."
And pushing all the inhibitions out of her, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. She knew she took him by surprise, as he suddenly froze under her touch. But within a second, his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her into him.
Khushi felt her heart quicken, as his mouth pushed onto hers. Just as she reached up to wrap her hands around his neck, however, he suddenly took a step back, putting a strange distance in between them.
"Akash?" she said, bewildered.
However, he merely turned around and made his way to the other end of the room.
"What's wrong?" she asked, slightly nipped at the sudden change.
"It seems," said a deep baritone voice. "That you are gravely mistaken."
And with that, the lights flickered on as Khushi's eyes fell on the man who she unceremoniously kissed. To her utter horror, she realized it was not Akash.
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