The Heart Knows -IPKKND ff-THREAD 2 link in pg 156 - Page 2

It was around twelve when Siddharth solved the problem in his office. He peeked into Khushi's room. He expected to see her sleeping. Instead she found an empty bed. Well, not exactly empty as the two kittens were sleeping peacefully on the bed.

When he searched the house for her, he found the terrace door open. He climbed the stairs and found her staring at the dark sky. He stayed silent for a while waiting for her to speak.

When she didn't, he said, "I have known you for the past one year and there have been only two occasions where I have seen you standing in the terrace and staring at nothing."

No response.

"The first time was when dad and I brought you home. The second time was when you tried to remember something about yourself other than your name and you blacked out. What is the reason behind the third time?"

Tears wet her cheek.

"I don't know who I am, Siddhu. I am helpless. I can't remember one single minute of my life before the accident. I don't know what sort of a life I had. I have no idea whether people depended on me. I don't know anything, Siddhu."

He looked at her eyes when she spoke and he saw a vulnerable feeling which he hadn't seen for a long time. He made her face him and look into his eyes when he spoke.

"Sweetheart, you are Khushi Raina. What or who were before the accident is your past. If you don't remember anything, then don't force yourself. Important memories might come back on their own. According to my logic, your brain blocked it out because they are quite painful to remember. If your brain does not want you to remember about it, why are you worried? I will tell you again, sweetheart. You are Khushi Raina. Dad and I are your family. Nobody can change that. Understand?"

She nodded slowly.

"You have a life ahead of you. Why are you bothered about your past when your future is so bright?"

He wrapped his arms around her until she calmed down.

"Can I ask you something, Siddhu?"

"Kuch bhi pooch sakthe hai tum." [You can ask me anything.]

"Why are you still single?"

The question caught him off guard.

"You love your father. From the way you look at your childhood photographs, it is pretty obvious that you love your mother. Even though you didn't know anything about me, you took me to your house. You take care of me very well. When you are so good to everyone, why hasn't anybody filled your life with the sort of love you need? Why are you still single?"

He sat on the floor with his back against the terrace walls. Khushi watched him for a while and then sat near him.

"Ek ladki thi," he said slowly. "Jo maine bahut pyaar kiya." [There was a girl whom I loved very much.]

There was a distant look in his eyes.

"College mein mila tha. [I met her in college.] I was good looking and rich and lots of girls wanted to be my girl friend. I wasn't interested in them at all. Phir ek din us ladki ko deka. Mera dil zor se chillaney laga ki wohi meri zindagi hai. Pagal ki thara uski peeche ghoomtha tha. [And then one day, I saw a girl. My heart began shouting saying that she is my life. I was always roaming behind her like a crazy guy.] You remember that hutch advertisement where the pug follows the little kid everywhere? I was like that. Library, I was sitting in the adjacent table. Canteen, on the opposite table. Classroom, outside her window. Where ever she was, I was there. Uske saath baath karne ke liye himmat nahi jutapaayi. Ek din achanak, who mujhse baath ki thi. [I did not have the courage to talk to her. One day, she spoke with me.] It was for a trivial matter. She asked me to meet the principal after college. That was enough for me to introduce myself and after that she smiled whenever she saw me. Us smile ko dekhkar, I felt like the king of the world."

When he didn't continue, she asked, "Did you tell her that you love her?"

He shook his head and gave her a sad smile.

"I wanted to propose to her and I planned everything. The day before the big day, I got a call from my father saying that my mom had an accident. My whole world came crashing down on me. I had to choose which was more important and I choose my mother. She was my first priority. I promised myself that I would come back as soon as my mother was fine. Hospital mein maa ko dekha. Doctor ne kaha ki uski condition critical tha. [I saw my mother in the hospital. Doctor told that her condition was very critical.] Chances were very less. Maa passed away a couple of days later. Dad was very shocked and he couldn't accept the fact that the love of his life was dead. I stayed close to dad for about a week. Then he literally forced me to go to college saying that he would be alright. After thousands of promises that he would call me every day, I went. When I was in college, I got another shock. She wasn't there. When I asked her friends, they told me that she got married. That was when I realized my father's condition. I understood why he asked me to leave him alone for a while. The pain was like someone has beaten me to pulp and let me die. It was a sort of a slow agonizing death. I didn't concentrate on my studies. A month later, dad came to meet me. His old smile was back and he gave me a bone crushing hug. When I asked him if he was fine, he said, 'I have you in my life. I loved your mom and I was devastated by her death. But that does not mean that I love you any less. When I have you with me, why should I stay alone'. I understood that I was in a similar state. I had my dad with me and both of us needed each other. I just bounced back. It was a difficult process but I did. There has never been a day that I have lived go by without thinking about her. She can't belong to me as she is married to someone else. I used to convince myself that I atleast had her memories to live with."

Tears filled his eyes when he spoke about his love. Khushi did not spare any better.

She wiped his tears and said, "Itna dard, Siddhu. How can you hide this?" [So much pain, Siddhu? How can you hide this?]

"Patha nahi. [I don't know.] Maybe I was born strong or maybe situations made me stronger."

"Siddhu, mein ek bath kahun?" [Siddhu, can I say something?]

"Anything."

"Why don't you marry someone else? Mujhe patha hai ki us ladki ko bhoolna mushkil hai. [I know that forgetting her is very difficult.] But you have a life, right? There has to be someone after you to follow your footsteps, to bring a smile on your face. Just like you are to your father."

"Tu hai na," he said spontaneously. [You are there.]

"Main?" [Me?]

"Meri beti." [My daughter]

"Beti?" [Daighter?]

"Haan. Jab se tum aayi ho, meri zindagi mein khushiyan laayi ho. [Yes. You have brought happiness into my life.] You are everything you said to me right now. You are following my footsteps. You bring a smile to my face. Tumari choti choti baath mujhe bahut pasand hai. [I like every little thing you do.] After you came into my life, I have spent very little time thinking about her. It is like she is fading away from my life. I used to dream about her and the life we would have together. I used to think about my children and my house. You are the live version of my dream. Whatever I wanted in my children, you have it. Good manners, affection, love, everything is there. You are hard working. You are too good to be true. Nobody can hate you. What else do I need in my life when I have you as my daughter?"

"Tum itne budde nahi ho. [You are not that old.] You are just thirty three and I am supposed to be nineteen."

"I don't care. You are my best friend, my daughter. And if I want more children, I can always adopt. Dad, you and I can bring them up."

"You trust me so much?"

"Khud se bhi zyaada." [More than I trust myself.]

"Agar mein ek terrorist nikla tho?" [What if I am a terrorist?]

"No problem. Achchi terrorist ho thum. Pyaar seek ne wali terrorist." [No problem. You are a good terrorist. A terrorist who teaches love.]

Both of them smiled at the description.

"Tum kabhi shaadi nahi karogi?" [You will never get married?]

"If someone accepts you and the children I adopt, I might give it a chance. But the chances are near minus infinity."

Khushi leaned her head on his shoulder and said, "I love you, Siddhu."

"Love you too, sweetheart," he said as he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

On the other side of the city, Arnav was battling his own emotions. His thoughts took him back to the day when he had seen Khushi for the last time before the one year gap. He remembered her trying to make him believe the story she had supposedly cooked up.

The next day went as a blur for everybody. Khushi wanted to finish the work and return to Mumbai. She worked without taking breaks and finished the set design by five in the evening. Siddharth was busy in a meeting and he had not been able to check whether she had taken her food and medicines.

When he entered her cabin at half past five, her head was bent over the chart. She looked up and smiled when she saw him.

"Siddhu, want to have a look?"

"Sure."

He walked to her and saw the design. It was like a fairy tale castle which had a touch of the Indian culture. They blended quite well and it looked fantastic. He looked at the design without uttering a single word.

"Siddhu?" she called him slowly when he didn't say anything.

"Khushi, aaj se tum meri har fashion show ki art director banogi and that is final. If I had known about your talent, I would have forced you to work with me." [Khushi, from today you are going to be the art director for all my fashion shows and that is final.]

"Does that mean you like it?"

"Like is an understatement of the year. This is just awesome."

"I'll talk with Arnav and let's meet him and show him the design."

Siddharth called him and told him that he had to meet him. Arnav called them to his house and Siddharth took Khushi with him. Arnav had one look at the design and he fell in love with it.

"Good job," he complimented Khushi.

She was in cloud nine. She had noticed from his eyes that he was indeed very happy with her job.

When Siddharth and Khushi were about to leave, they were stopped by Anjali. She hadn't known that they had arrived.

"Arey, aap dono yahaan?" she asked. [You two are here?]

"Had to discuss a few things with Arnav," Siddharth explained.

"Aap dhono hamare saath dinner share karogi?" [Will you have dinner with us?]

"Mujhe ek zaroori meeting pe jaana kai." [I have an urgent meeting to attend to.]

"Khushiji, aap reh sakthe hain na?" [Khushiji, you can stay, can't you?]

Anjali looked at Siddharth pleading him to let Khushi stay.

"Khushi, you can stay with them. I'll send you the car after I go to my office."

Khushi accepted.

"Eat well and take care."

"Of course, daddy," she told him as he was about to get in his car.

He turned around in shock. "Kya kaha?" [What did you say?]

"I said, of course, daddy. Any problem?"

He slammed the door and walked towards her. He put his arms around her and lifted off her feet.

"Problem? No way."

Anjali saw the happy scene in front of her and asked, "Siddharth, she called you daddy and you look very happy."

He helped her back to the ground and said, "Of course, I am happy."

"But she called you daddy?"

"If my daughter doesn't call me daddy, who else will she call like that?" he asked as matter of fact.

Anjali was shocked and surprised.

"I love you a lot, my first daughter," he told her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too, Siddhu."

"I have to go," he said as he reluctantly let her go. "Bye, Khushi. Bye, Anjali."

After he left, Anjali voiced her confusion. "Why are you calling him daddy?"

"He gave me a new life. He added a meaning to my life when I didn't know anything. Siddhu mere liye bhagwan jaisa hai aur mere liye iss duniya mein usse zyada koyi nahi important hai." [For me, Siddhu is God and there is no one more important that him in this whole world.]

Arnav listened to their conversation. He had mistaken their relationship. Siddharth took care of her like a father and that is why he had called her Khushi Raina. Arnav had thought the worst and hated her for it.

"Did I judge her wrongly with jeejaji?"

His heart wanted to give her the benefit of doubt. It had always wanted to. However his mind always won the fight and didn't let him do it.

Khushi explained to her colleagues what she wanted them to do regarding the set. A few went away to buy things needed and a few others went to check if the models and the dresses were ready. Everybody left her cabin and she relaxed on the couch. The last few days were ready hard for her. Her few minutes rest time was disturbed by a phone call from Arnav.

"Do you still have the other design?" he asked her without greeting her.

She had become used to his behaviour. "Yes, I do."

"Make sure that it is ready too."

"Why do you want that one?"

"The one you showed me last night is grand. Siddharth and I have decided that we should save it for the last. We will be using the second design for the first six days and the other one for the last day. It will make a huge impact."

"Okay. Kuch changes karni hai. [Have to make some changes] It will be ready by night."

"It is already half past twelve. Start it after lunch. Waise mujhe bhi us design mein kuch changes karni hai. I'll come there and we will discuss it."

"Okay."

He disconnected the call without another word.

Khushi stared at the phone for a while and shook her head. She opened the cabinet and took out a few sheets. She was working on it when the door opened.

"Arnavji itni jaldi?" she asked herself. [So soon?]

When she raised her head from the table, she saw Shyam standing in front of her with a huge grin. She groaned at her luck.

"Good afternoon, Khushiji," he said. "Still working?"

"Just started."

She unknowingly knocked the bottle which was on the table. She bent to pick it up. When she got up, she realized that Shyam was standing very close to her. She tried to move away but he didn't let her. He put his arms around her and hugged her. She let go off the bottle and used both his arms to push him away. He was stronger than her and she couldn't move.

"I love you, Khushiji," he whispered against her ears. "Hum aapse bahut pyaar karte hain." [I love you so much.]

"Kya?" [What?]

"I think I have told you before. I want to marry you."

"Pehle mujhe choddho." [First let me go.]

"Kyun, Khushiji?" [Why Khushiji?]

"Mujhe yeh sab pasand nahi hai. And you said you will give me some time to think." [I don't like all this.]

She tried to say anything that might help her. She told me that she needed time. Not that she would think about him. She just needed time to complete the design and fly back to Mumbai and never return.

"Par hume achcha lag raha hain. I like to hold you in my arms." [But I like this.]

She tried to push him again. He only tightened his hold on her.

"Please, let me go."

He heard her sad voice and removed his hands. "Don't be sad, Khushiji. I only want to live with you. Not to upset you."

"Dekhiye Shyamji, mein aapse pyaar nahi karti hoon." [Look, Shyamji, I don't love you.]

"Kisi aur hain aap ki zindagi mein?" [Is there anybody else in your life?]

No, there was nobody else in her life for that spot. But then why did Arnav's image flash in front of her when Shyam asked her whether she loved someone else. She couldn't understand anything. He had always been rude to her and…

Shyam disturbed her from her thoughts. "Khushiji, I am asking you. Koyi aur hai?" [Is there anyone?]

"No," she said in confusion.

"So, I still have a chance?"

She didn't reply as she thought that her reply in the negative might make him hug her again.

Instead, she thought for a few seconds and said, "I can't give you a definite answer. I just need to think about everything."

Shyam nodded. "Main aap ki jawaab ke liye intezaar karoonga." [I will wait for your reply.]

He placed his right palm on her cheek, smiled and then walked away.

Khushi mentally let out a huge sigh of relief. He was freaking her out and she was frightened and angry. She decided that she would tell this to Siddharth and finish it soon.

Unknown to them, another person had seen them through the slight gap in the curtains which covered the glass partitions. The door was closed and he couldn't hear a word they spoke. But actions spoke louder than words, didn't they?