Kolkata Khobor (Fun post paper) - Ayub Khan is our reader! (pg20)

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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
Starting today, we will have a special newspaper bringing "news" from Kolkata that is featured in EHT and owned by Goenka parivaar.
We accept contributions from everyone who follows life and times of this city and its people in EHT.

(All in good humour. Totally tongue in cheek. No offense intended.😉)

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Edited by atominis - 10 years ago

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-MONA- thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Thazza khabar , thazza khabar, shaurya ki selfi Dev ke saath, ko pure Kolkata ne like kiya hai...
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
gorom khobor gorom khobor ... Dev Goenka shot 😆 by an extortionist 😆
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Abray

gorom khobor gorom khobor ... Dev Goenka shot 😆 by an extortionist 😆



Shothi khabar hai? Udthi udthi khabar ki koyi gori chitti ne goli maari...
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5
Desi assasins up in arms against Shaurya Goenka

Kolkata, The city's enfant terrible and controversy's favourite child Shaurya Goenka is facing fresh trouble as a local body of assassins named "Yamdoot" has come out protesting against him. Their leader Changu-mangu alleges Shaurya Goenka is snatching work from locals and giving their right to foreigners. He said, "We are no less in ability to kill people! Then why did he have to hire a foreigner? He is taking away our right from us. We will not allow this! Angrezon bharat chhodo!"
Sources say Shaurya Goenka had hired an assassin to get his elder cousin Dev Goenka killed. But the desi killer apparently failed in his misson and died himself.
"Isn't it their failure? Then why are they protesting?" , asked a friend close to Shaurya who spoke to us on condition of anonymity.

When we spoke about this to Changu-mangu the defiant leader said, "So what if our man failed once? It does not mean Shaurya Goenka can deny us our rozi roti. Had he paid us like he paid the gori mem and had he personally went along and guided us like he guided her then we too could have accomplished the feat! Big deal!"

Our correspondent had tried to speak to Goenkas on this matter but there is no sign of him since he went to Goenka mansion to get a byte.

We will update our readers as soon as further developments come to light.

For now, slogan shouting, effigy burning is on by members of Yamdoot outside Goenka mansion. This is becoming a matter of desi pride now.

*Readers speak out! Did Shaurya Goenka do the right thing by preferring firangi assassin over desi assassins? SMS Y or N to 420420.*
Edited by atominis - 10 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6
SMS Y to 420420,


Kyinki shaurya ne ek desi gunde ki jaan bachayi hai, Agar kaam desi killer ko diya hota, goli bounce hoke killer ko hi maarne ka bahut chances tha. Dev ke paas maa ka raksha daga tha, jo sirf desi katron se bachatha hai, firangioun par wo asar nahi kartha...
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7
Durga Thakur feels for Dev Goenka

The city of Kolkata , also known to be the romantic city of East India has seen many love stories around but when it comes to loves of the riches, which are much less in popularity , the city witnesses a lot of controversies.

As our esteemed newspaper informed you earlier about Shaurya Goenka using foreign assassins to kill his brother Dev Goenka has created a lot of controversy within the city, here we came to know a new while investigating the old.

To our latest knowledge Durga Thakur, the daughter of MR. Dayal Thakur who is building a Cancer Research Project with the Goenkas, was seen on the place where Dev Goenka was laying wounded after the unknown attack. Durga Thakur has also been spotted in a multiple places with Dev Goenka in Kolkata. This proposes the idea of something brewing before the two rich people.

But as said earlier in case of love stories of the riches the city witnesses a lot of controversies, the sources have informed us that Shaurya Goenka is also secretly after the rich girl. This may lead to a rift between the two rich family brothers.

So of the present knowledge there is much gossip around the city of the budding love. Stay tuned to know more about how this story takes shape.

If you feel that Durga Thakur indeed feels for Dev Goenka then send you SMS on 155623 if yes Y<SPACE>reason and if no then N <SPACE>reason.
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8
Breaking News : Shaurya Goenka ne ki Dev Goenka par hamla. Teen goli lagne se par aur aadhe ghante raaste par behosh pade rehne par bhi Dev Goenka bach gaya. Dev sach much mein ek Dev hi hai. Shaurya ka plan phir se fail. Ab is city ke saare log ek hi sawal kar rahe hain : Akhir kab tag khud ko ullu sabit karega Shaurya Goenka?
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
All's not well in the Goenka household?


Rumour mills are abuzz with the news that the Goenkas, the city's most influential family may be hiding a few skeletons in their cupboards. The very gorgeous Sakshi Goenka was spotted leaving their Alipore mansion with an unidentified man in a car a fair number of times. Is this a sign of an unhappy marriage?

Close friend Raima Maheshwari refuted the rumors, saying, "Rajnath and Sakshi are still very much in love. These news are simply spread by malicious rumour-mongers."


Sounds fair enough. Yet, all is certainly not well in the Goenka household. The recent attempts at assassination of Dev Goenka notwithstanding, Kolkata's first family has been under fire for their patronage of the now disgraced Robindro Ganguly as well as the fake degree awarded to the Goenka scion, the very handsome Shaurya Goenka. Is the strain causing cracks on Rajnath and Sakshi's marriage?

A business ally tells us, "While Mrs Goenka is a very beautiful and charismatic lady, we are sure she would never sneak behind her husband. And this is their private matter; we would never comment on her personal life and choices."


Hmmm...so is this a confirmation that things are not rosy? One only hopes that the Goenkas can sort out their problems.
Keep watching this space for more!

Edited by bookworm-ALS-- - 10 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10
@atominis, brilliant idea and I love your article too. :P
I'd like to contribute as a gossip columnist, a la Rita Skeeter :P
Edited by bookworm-ALS-- - 10 years ago
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