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Chapter 18: Destination
Suman leaned against her half open window in Tiwari Villa and simply looked on as the day was being swallowed by the night. Even shadows were absorbed by the encroaching darkness. The calm sound of the soft wind covered her ears.
She pushed the window open and let some fresh air penetrate into the room, the chilled breeze tousled her messy hair and pinked her cheeks.
She stood there, content and happy with the view. It was calming.
She tilted her head skyward and met a sight not so rare to behold, millions of bright stars dotted on the black canvas. She was allured by the vastness of the sky and the several wonders it brought. God truly had its way with his creations, she mused.
Suman had witnessed every season from her small wooden window as life went on at breakneck speed. Summer's magnificent sun often put a quick end to her precious slumber filled with dreams as it collided with rays of sharp reality. On days of mercy, the sunlight proved to be merciful and warmed her bones to the hilt as she lay down on the charpai on the rooftop of her home, concocting new dishes in her mind or humming her Nanu's old classical songs she spent the morning, listening to.
On rainy days, she left the window agape to hear the pitter-patter create havoc as the sweet earthly scent filtered through her room as a reminder of someone while she was kept busy to muddle through everything.
A habit, Mamiji despised but Suman still kept doing despite the earful she would receive.
For that one moment, she let her attention ramble from her daily ordeals and obstacles to her cherished memories.
So, she remembered him. Him and every little thing about him. His intelligent brown eyes, his soft unruly hair she ruffled so lovingly, his spontaneous remarks and his outlandish jokes, his constant admiration for her and his selfless friendship, his silence...
The memories flowed in form of tears and she couldn't stop them.
The realization was a devastating eye-opener for the sixteen year old girl, she was in love with him, she was in love with her best friend and she had compelled him to leave.
From that moment, her days were spent remembering him with her goals very much intact in her mind. Her two dreams that became her lifeline. To break free from the burden of debt and reunite with the one who had ignited the flame in her, who had taught her to spread her wings.
This was the thing with her memories, remembering Shravan meant to gain strength she lacked. Strength, she was in dire need of.
And how could she? How could she not remember him?
After all, he was an integral part of her life. Hidden from prying eyes, she had preserved him like an old treasure of great value, her most beautiful possession.
Together, they witnessed every colour life had thrown their way, hands in hands. He was always there, to protect her from the scorching heat, to provide her a shield from the rains. Her companion in laughter, in sorrow.
She heard the faint sound of her phone buzzing in the background and went to receive it. The name flashing on the screen made an instant smile sprout on her face. She sat with her legs crossed on her queen size bed and leaned against the headboard before answering the phone that was going off.
"Is this Suman Tiwari speaking?" A mischievous voice she was very familiar with its inflections questioned.
"Yes, it's she and you are?"
"Haven't you recognized me?"
"Am I supposed to?" She asked with a soft smile on her face as she tried to keep the ignorance intact in her tone.
"I believe, I gave you several rides to your home..." He pointed out.
"Oh, the lawyer! I do remember!" She exclaimed after a pause as if she remembered on the spot. "Tell me, is there something I can do for you?"
"Well, let's see..." The man trailed off mid-sentence. "How about a cup of coffee?"
"At this hour?" She asked surprised looking at the clock on her side table.
"Do you have an objection?" He interjected, she heard the gentle rustling of the sheets through the receiver - she could imagine him leaning against the headboard, mirroring her position.
"My fiance might have one," She retorted, a smug smile taking over her face as she consciously touched her ring finger, toying with the jewel.
"He doesn't have to know," He whispered, his voice went a notch down and she found herself drawn in, wanting to hear more of it.
"Anyways, what for?" She counter-questioned.
"I need some female companionship, tonight..." He drawled seductively, his voice husky and deep and she arched a brow at the bluntness of the man.
"Are you flirting with me?" She asked suddenly.
"I have been, for an infinite period of time."
"Are you by any chance calling me slow?" She scoffed.
"Sadly, that's an established fact." He said in fake sadness as an audible sigh of disappointment escaped his lips while he held back a laugh.
"Shravan!" She yelled and then he started laughing and didn't stop even when she began threatening him.
"Oh God, Sumo, I miss you!" He breathed out in a soft sigh stopping her rant in midway. The declaration made her smile.
Suman heard him breathing harshly as to calm himself down from all the laughing he had done, the smile was evident in his voice and when she closed her eyes, she could picture him and it seemed to her that he was lying next to her and the only thing separating them being the blanket and not the miles between his house and hers.
And, she wished, she was there with him.
Sha wanted to lay down in his strong arms and feel at home, run her fingers through his gorgeous locks as he told her about his day and she, in return told him about hers. She could never tire of hearing him talk, about his dreams and his aspirations from life. In his embrace, her world stopped still on its axis.
Although, it took lots of coaxing and she had to push him repeatedly for him to disclose his deepest fears and darkest troubles, she was the only one he would reach out to dismiss the sinking feeling in his stomach. In her embrace, all his worries lost their strings.
With his words, he painted such a vivid picture of the blossoming future awaiting them that she was left spellbound each time and enthralled by his light brown eyes that revealed a reflection of the innumerable possibilities that he intended to bring to life. A reflection of what they could create, together. The flicker of determination in his eyes told her so.
"We should elope!" He exclaimed all of a sudden.
"We are not eloping," Suman refuted as she shook her head with a chuckle at his endearing suggestion as she laid down sidewise on her bed, cradling her phone between her ear and the cushion.
She looked upwards and couldn't help but notice that her room's ceiling was very much closer to her than the blue and pristine one back in Malhotra Mansion.
"I don't care, I am sneaking in."
"You are not."
"Sumo!" She could imagine him scowling, his brows furrowed as he straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive manner.
"This is why I should have never let you go, everything is going wrong, I can't sleep at night, I can't tie a tie, I woke up late and forgot to wear my lenses and you ar -"
"Shravan, Shravan, Shravan," She cut him off in the middle of his tirade and he stopped short at the realization. "Take a deep breath." He breathed out.
"I can't sleep without you, Sumo. Please, come back, at least for the night," He whispered pleadingly and she found herself melting.
"Really? Because I sleep just fine without you," She stated seriously, wanting to rile him up a little bit.
"That explains why half of my t-shirts are gone," He remarked instantly and she bit her lip as she glanced down to herself. Indeed, she was wearing one of his t-shirts, yet again.
"Well, what's yours is mine, isn't it?"
"It is," He said softly.
"You know, it's not an obligation for us to get married with all the pump, we can settle for something simpler so I can come back home earlier and..." This time he was the one to cut her off.
"Shush!" He chastised, his voice contrastingly soft however.
"Listen to me, Sumo, this time around, I won't let you or anyone compromise with your happiness. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams, I want to see you wearing your mother's jewellery, I want you to remember our wedding as the most beautiful day of your life..."
Suman was rendered speechless.
"You deserve the world, Sumo and I want to be the one giving it to you even if for that to happen I need to stay two weeks away from you." She couldn't explain why but in that moment she felt like he was making a promise to her as well as himself.
Their conversation stretched from one topic to another, they never kept track of time whenever they talked as if they were not ready to let the other go, just yet. They wished to be actually laying beside each other, holding hands till she would fall asleep and he would follow suit after staring at her to his heart's content.
"Hey Shravan!" She called out as he had stayed silent for quite a while - he had most probably succumbed to sleep as she talked a mile.
"Hmm?" He hummed though the sleepy haze.
"You are my world," She whispered snapping him out from his drowsiness for a moment before a soft smile took over his face as he plunged into a peaceful slumber.
****
"Prepare yourself to lose, Pushkar," Shravan warned, his steady eyes focused on the tennis game ahead of them.
"Beware, Bhaiya, it has only started," Pushkar started to grow anxious as he noticed from the corner of his eyes the way Shravan moved the Wii remote with great expertise.
It was a sunny Sunday morning when both brothers decided to play a tennis match for old sake's time and to catch up on each other's lives and work, most importantly. With Shravan manoeuvring his own independent firm, Pushkar is now alongside Ramnath Malhotra, at the heads of Malhotra and Associates. But, he wouldn't hesitate to consult Shravan whenever he needed and the latter gladly offered help.
"Take this!" Pushkar yelled as he returned the ball in a quick reverse move. "By the way there is something I need to tell you."
"What?" Shravan huffed out, eyes never leaving the screen as his player set himself up to do a service and send the ball to the other side of the court. The match was at its crucial point.
"You're going to be Uncle," Pushkar announced in the most formal way possible.
"What did you say?!" Shravan's head whipped around so rapidly that Pushkar feared for his neck but that was just for a second before his attention was diverted to the screen, once again.
"And I win!" Pushkar exclaimed throwing his fist in the air as a victory sign while Shravan was left gawking at him, his eyes looking frantically between the screen and his brother as incomprehension etched his features.
"You cheated!" Shravan accused him pointing a finger at him as the remote was carelessly tossed on Shravan's bed, behind them.
"Excuse me?" When did I cheat?" Pushkar asked ever so innocently.
"You lied to distract me!"
"I merely used my newly acquired status to the test..." He trailed off, eyes bright with mirth. "And it seemed to work very well in my favour."
"So, you are actually being serious?" Shravan asked cautiously, arching a brow at him. Pushkar bobbed his head in an up and down motion.
"So, you and Preeti are..." Shravan motioned towards him and then behind him.
"Pregnant!" Pushkar completed his sentence and the next moment he was engulfed in a bear hug.
"Congratulations, I am so happy for you!" Shravan said, patting his back several times in an affectionate gesture.
"Thank you," Pushkar said and motioned him to sit on the bed as he plummeted next to him.
"When did you get to know?"
"Yesterday," Pushkar informed him. "And just so you know, you are the second to know."
"Who is first?" Shravan asked confused and Pushkar narrowed his eyes at him as if it was obvious.
"Sorry, I asked!" Shravan raised his hands in the air as realization dawned upon him.
"Sumo!" Both of them replied simultaneously and then smiled remembering her.
"Actually, she was the one having doubts and pushed Preeti to go for a check-up and turns out, Sumo is right. As of today, Preeti is three weeks pregnant," Pushkar told him.
"And how do you feel about it? Shravan passed an encouraging smile at him, genuinely wanting to know about his feelings regarding this new chapter of his life.
"I...I don't know, it all happened so fast but I am really happy and excited about it," Pushkar said, happiness shining brighter than disbelief in his eyes.
"That's the most important," Shravan stated quietly, one of his hand looped around his shoulder like he used to do in their childhood.
Shravan chuckled soundly and Pushkar looked up at him, surprised.
"I still can't believe that you, Pushkar, my Chotte is going to be a father to a human being...I mean I would have bet on a monkey or som -" He laughed out when Pushkar smacked him with a pillow.
"Time flies," Shravan said feeling a little nostalgic.
"It does," Pushkar sighed.
"You know, after Maa left I was completely lost. And many times, looking at you and Varun Bhaiya, I wished that I had a brother or sister of my own, someone who would understand what I was feeling without judging me or psychoanalyse me, just to see me for who I was because we would be in the same boat."
Pushkar glanced wide-eyed over at Shravan, who continued to sit there serenely but he was clever enough to stay quiet, it was not often that Shravan opened up so easily about his feelings.
"But, you always tried your best to never make me feel left out and that tells me what kind of father you will grow to be. Thank you for being the sibling I never had." Shravan continued on and Pushkar looked up, his eyes watering.
"Thank you, Bhaiya," Pushkar said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Don't you dare think that this newly acquired status of yours abscond you from any responsibility. You have a wedding to prepare, so go for it!" Shravan pulled him by the arm and dragged him out of the room.
"Are you seriously kicking me out of your room?" Pushkar was bewildered by his brother's behaviour.
"Yes."
"But, what's the hurry?" He asked as Shravan was about to close the door on his face. He saw someone calling on FaceTime on Shravan's phone.
"Oh, I see, it's Bhabhi," He teased but stopped short as he saw Shravan glaring at him.
"Go away," Shravan groaned.
"Fine, say namaste from my side." He winked at him.
"Idiot," He muttered under his breath before closing the door behind him.
***
"Shravan!" She whisper-yelled as she poked him on the shoulder. She towered over his sleeping form sprawled over the bed occupying all the space as he slept soundly on his stomach, strands of black silky hair falling on his forehead.
A silver of moonlight filtered through the curtains and she could decipher shadows dancing on his beautifully carved out face and was baffled by how clear his skin looked from close by and how his lashes caressed the skin underneath them.
She knelt down in front of him and her eyes traced his face with infinite tenderness. She was tempted to let her fingers wander over his slightly parted lips and bend down to touch them, she knew they would be warm and soft against hers.
Instead, her scrutiny never left his face. His prominent jaw and well-defined chin were obscured by his soft, prickly beard. She loved the feel of his beard against her palms and it made her want to drag his prickly beard against the sensitive skin of her cheeks and her neck and revel in its sensation of pure bliss. Parts of her really wanted to.
Shaking herself from these thoughts and concentrating on the task on hand, she pushed his messy hair away from his forehead and his eyes to have a clear view of his face and called him more softly this time. "Shravan!"
He stirred and turned around on his back with half lidded-eyes and gave her a tiny sleepy smile of recognition as he saw her. "Sumo," He whispered, his voice thick with sleep before he pulled her by the arm and she stifled a scream as she fell on top of him, essentially straddling him.
"Sumo?" He rubbed the ball of his right hand against his eyes and his fingers of the other hand reached out to caress her face and he blinked several times in order to get rid of the sleepy haze as he realized that she was actually here, in their room and not another appearance in one of his dreams.
"How did you come inside?" He asked sounding confused, he was still taken aback to see her in his room. It had only been five days since she went back to her maternal home while their families were preparing for their wedding with great enthusiasm.
"Keys," She said with a smug smile, quite proud of herself as she hung them in front of his face.
He pulled her down with the help of his hand on the small of her back and she gasped as she felt how close they were, literally flushed against each other.
"You did well," He whispered tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he shifted to make some room for her, underneath the blanket.
"Thank you, come now." Suman pulled him by the forearms only to be stopped by him as he held her wrist.
"Where?" He questioned, utterly bewildered.
"To drink Tom Uncle's tea!" She quipped happily pulling at his hand and he cupped his forehead in dismay.
"Sumo, it's five in the morning! I am not going anywhere, come here and sleep. I'll drop you to Tiwari Villa before everyone wakes up," He said yawning and laid down on the bed, hauling the covers over him.
"Shravan, please!" She whined, resting her chin on his chest as she looked at him through her lashes, deliberately fluttering them as she was aware of how it affects him.
"Stop doing that,"He groaned causing her to giggle.
"See, we'll argue over this for an hour and I'll keep pleading till you agree and eventually you'll agree because you can't say no to me. Isn't it better to save time?" She looked at him expectantly and he sighed heavily.
"Sometimes I really wonder who is the lawyer in the relationship..." He muttered under his breath as he threw the covers away.
"You won't regret it, I promise!" Sumo turned her face a little and reached up to place a kiss on his cheek.
***
Shravan brought two cups of hot piping tea and Sumo shifted with a smile in order to make some room for him on the small backseat that the rickshaw offered.
"Careful," She said as he passed her a cup.
He pulled her against his chest and wrapped one of his arm around her waist. She leaned into him and slid her glance to the side but did not say anything. She was peculiarly conscious of him sitting next to her, his warmth almost engulfing her entirely. His strong arms around her as his nose tickled her ear.
Last time, when they sat in the same place, the side of their bodies pressed against each other, she had been hyperaware of him and now as he touched her without any inhibition, that crackling in the air that always happened whenever the two of them got within a foot of each other now ran deep to her very core.
The two of them stared up at the morning sky. The first orange hues of the sunlight kissed the morning sky. Mellow blues and pinks blurred together, illuminating each crevices of the vast azure. A gentle breezed passed by causing her to shudder, she snuggled into him as he rubbed her arm in an up and downright motion. "Better?" He mouthed at her in a question.
She simply rest her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. He sighed in contentment and took a sip from the small cup of tea.
Sitting there, with the love of his life by his side, he made a silent prayer to God. For years, he had refused to do so, but for the sake of his present, for the woman he loved so dearly, Shravan was ready to bow down in front of the entity he had denied for so long. He prayed for every morning of his life to be this beautiful, for her hand to forever remain in his.
"It's so nice, here," Shravan said almost dreamingly.
"Told you," She remarked when she felt his lips pull up in a smile against her temple.
"You really are impossible, Sumo," Shravan said, his voice laced with endearement. "I thought, I would be the one scheming these kind of plans to meet you in the middle of the night but you turned out to be steps ahead of me."
"Well, you never took the initiative to take me on a date. So, I have to do everything by myself."
"Are you taunting me?"
She heard the menace and was about to retort with something witty when Shravan's hand slipped under her shirt or rather his and she let out a shriek of surprise as he started tickling her. "Shravan, stop!" She laughed out loud when she tried to swat his hands away, spilling the tea on both of them in the process.
"See, what you have done! I told you to bring napkins!" She straightened up between short giggles and he stopped tickling her to let her rummage through as she tried to clean the tea stains on both their shirts.
"I wonder how you must handle yourself back home. Thank God, the lights were out and I didn't get the time to see what a mess you created out of the room..." She mumbled to herself.
"See, this is exactly what I was talking about the other day, you can't help but be bossy. I am sure, few years down the line when we'll have grown old and have kids, you'll still be as bossy as you are and then I'll be able to say that see kids, your mother hasn't changed a bit and - what?" He asked when he noticed that she was staring at him with an amused smile.
"Kids? Have you been thinking about our kids?" She asked suspiciously, leaning towards him and smiled when she saw the tips of his ears turn red as they did when he was embarrassed.
"No, I-I mean yes. I don't know," He fumbled over his own words and made a gesture with his hand as if to dismiss the conversation.
"Since when?"
He was caught off guard by the question.
"Since when have you been thinking about this?" She clarified when he didn't answer.
"I think it started when Dabboo laid down in your room with us and it only intensified when we got to know about Preeti and Pushkar," He murmured, the smile on his face grew when he noticed her face light up at his words.
Sumo could tell that Shravan was hesitating to tell her something, it was almost at the tip of his tongue but he was holding himself back. Suman arched her eyebrow at him, her eyes asking her usual question but he shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as if he remembered something.
"Is there something more I need to know?" She prodded curiously, nudging her shoulder with his but he just shook his head.
"Why do you always forget the promises we made to each other? No secrecy between us!" She reminded him when he opened his mouth and shut it close again.
"Now, tell me."
"To be honest, I have always thought about it, you have been such a constant in my life that whenever I thought about the future or starting a family, it's you I pictured. But, raising kids, it's such a big responsibility that the moment the thought hit me, I would dismiss it, I never thought that I would be good enough for parenthood. Sometimes, I still fear that I am not," He said and laughed, sounding almost ashamed.
"I, for one know that you will be a great father. And no, I am not saying it just for the sake of it or to assure you, I genuinely believe it." She explained when she saw him making a grimace. She put her cup of tea down and took his face between both her palms.
"See, the best thing a father can do for his children is to love and respect their mother, cherish her. You have been doing it for a decade." She whispered lovingly, caressing his face with the back of her palm she couldn't get enough of the feel of his stubble against her soft palms. He pressed a gentle kiss on her delicate fingers.
"And there is no need for you to be ashamed about your fears and your apprehensions. If you knew, how many apprehensions I have about myself when it comes to this subject," She revealed and he was taken aback for a second.
"What kind of apprehension?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side, so he could gauge every of her expression. He could tell that she was taken off guard, the question was too impromptu for her.
Suman knew that it was futile to try and dissuade him not to peek into the abyss of darkness that had reigned her thoughts, her soul and mind and swallowed her whole. For once, she wanted to be taken care of. She was aware that there would be no respite for him till he had made sure to ebb away her worries, no matter how meaningless they appeared to be.
"The one that kept you away from me, for so long," She admitted with a sad smile. He put his cup down and held her hand in his. She interlinked their fingers together.
"Shravan, I have always wanted to be independent and successful. I might not be as successful as you are nor do I earn as much as you do but I have pined to make a name for myself and I have also longed to have a family that was truly mine." She said softly, not lifting her head.
"I know that after her marriage, a woman's first responsability is towards her family. These two lives are contradictory and I am aware that I need to find a balance between both. And that's what scares me the most, what if I make too many mistakes, what If I am not able to give them the time they deserve - "
"Do you remember the day we went to that small restaurant and you had to pay the bill because I forgot my wallet?" He stopped her in midsentence and she nodded reluctantly as she reminisced.
"That day, your words made me question everything I had ever believed in. My notions about women, my take on working women and the disparity between men and women. You made me realize how wrong I was and now you are the one doubting?" His voice was soft but his question sharp.
"Sumo," He murmured, caressing the soft skin of her cheeks, his fingers working on pushing the strands of hair dancing around her, hiding her face from his piercing eyes. "If there is one person, I trust to do the right thing with my children, then it's you. I have seen you juggling between familial and professional duties with brio. I know you'll do your most for our family." He said, the words sounding like a mild scolding but his touches feathery as he traced her face.
"I don't ever want you to think that you are any less than me. Especially, professionally wise. It broke my parents, once. I don't ever want us to break apart. I don't ever want to be separated from you..." Shravan nearly whispered, his face changed, turned grave and she could swear that she saw his eyes glaze over. Instinctly, she slipped her hand around his arm - she hated it when he cried, it was a sight that made her feel hollow and helpless.
"After my mother left, I kept convincing myself that I didn't need her. I was sure that I would be just fine without her. I thought that my father's presence would be enough. But the void she left in my life, it's like a part of me ceased to exist. I didn't need only my father or my mother, I needed them both." Shravan's voice broke, his gaze shifted.
A true home for a child is a place where he gets the same amount of love and affection from both the sides. A childhood is made of a mother's sweet scolding and her melodious lullabies that make the darkest nights feel like a mere bad nightmare. A childhood is made of a father's thundering laugh and warm hugs that heal the deepest wounds.
A mother's place is irreplaceable and so is a father's. They are the glue and the cement of a house made of bricks.
And when you lose a parent to the grave or circumstances, it doesn't matter how much time passes by, how many years you have witnessed or how grey is your hair. There is always an emptiness within you and you can try to fill it with artifices, with glimpses of the places of the world and the resounding cacophony, but the emptiness never goes away, it always stays. It's engrained into your system.
"I don't ever want our children to feel empty like you and I have felt, before we found ourselves." He took a moment to make sure she was paying attention to his words. "You were right to question a man's role in society, as a father. It shouldn't be only the mother's responsibility to find a balance. That responsibility is meant to be shared equally."
"Today, I promise you to give you the family we never had. I promise you, to be the best friend I failed to be, for so many years. To help you fly and reach the skies. You called me your wings, once. I won't let you fall so easily. I am holding you," He affirmed, unblinking.
Before he knew it, he was engulfed in an embrace. The arms that held him were soft yet strong. He bathed in her heavenly scent and sunk into the warmth of her softness, appreciative of the simple gesture. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him close, gently rubbing his back. "I fell in love with you because of your independence and the fire in your eyes, don't ever let it dim for anyone, not even for me." He whispered into her neck and a hot tear landed on his skin.
"I want our children to have not only one but two great examples to follow."
Suman pulled back, her face moved closer to his ever so slowly and his eyes closed on their own accord as she rubbed her nose against his, giving him an eskimo kiss. Their eyes met, reverent and wide, silent conversation flowed between them.
"Tum aise kaise ho, Shravan?" She murmured, her eyes tracing his face.
There was a look of sheer awe on her face that floored him and made him feel warm on the inside.
"Does this translate to 'I love you' in your language?" He asked, amusement dripping in his voice.
Suman just shook her head at him with a smile, telling him everything she wanted to without using the words that seemed to be stuck in her throat.
***
"What do I get?" He asked, pulling her to his chest as his back rested against his car, his large palms splayed on her petite waist as her hands came to rest on his chest.
"For what?"
"For letting you go," He reminded her gently, he had just dropped her home.
"Anything you want," She said a little while later, surprising him - she never agreed so easily.
"A kiss should suffice," He grinned leaning towards her but she kept her palm over his lips.
"I am sorry, but I don't kiss before the third date." She offered a shrug.
"Oh, so if you suggest us to take the breakfeast inside, that would count as a second date and if I make you a cup of coffee afterwards, technically that's a third date, what do you think?" This time his grin was far less apparent, something more apparent to a smirk.
"Besharam!" She slapped her hand against his chest, eliciting a yelp from him as she tried to scurry away from his hold, even though he held her gently.
Between peels of laughter and stolen kisses, he bid her goodbye and drove back home but not before catching in the palm of his hand, the rare token of love she blew at him.
***
"What are you doing here?" Suman asked incredulously, walking fastly towards him, her hands full of mehendi, slightly raised by her sides as to not stain her white and yellow lehenga.
Shravan turned his head towards her and forced his neck back as he gazed up to her. His eyes wandered over her lehenga clad form and the bare skin of her midriff. He gulped, his fingers itched to reach out and touch the curves there, to know if she was just as soft everywhere.
"You look absolutely..." He started but stopped himself, not finding the words. Nervously, he laughed, and reached up to ruffle his hair, tearing his gaze away from her.
Suman's eyes swung down to him when he began to stammer, alight with sharp amusement as she came to understand what he was trying to say - she had noticed him sneaking furtive glances at her in their childhood and then when he came back, the glint of love and longing danced openly in his eyes - but never had she seen him so flustered around her that he had to drop his gaze down.
"Shravan!" She waved a hand in front of him and he blinked twice as if she had given him a jolt. Shravan felt his cheeks warming up, realizing he'd been caught red-handed in admiration.
"I asked, what are you doing here?" She prodded.
He cleared his throat and straightened himself to his full height. "I sneaked in." He managed a smile.
"That, I can see, but what for?" She pushed, waiting for a concrete answer.
He took a step closer to her and bend down so they were at face level. "To see my name in your mehendi," He whispered into her ear.
"Why would I write your name in my mehendi?" Suman raised her chin in defiance.
"To be marked with my love," He held her chin between his fingers and his thumb brushed against her lower lip. She shivered and he felt it.
"But, Shravan, I really haven't written your name in my mehendi," She said, sounding deeply apologetic.
"What do you mean by that?" He eyed her warily.
"You were the one, who said that the name should be written on the heart and that it is not necessary to show it to the whole world by writing it in the mehendi," She said, trying to mimick him, while he gawked at her in disbelief.
"How can you not write my name in your mehendi?! He complained loudly, almost stomping his foot on the floor, before turning his face away from her and sitting on the ledge of the terrace.
Suman stifled a smile as she gazed lovingly at him. She wanted to cajole him out of his bad mouth, his gesture rivaling one of a child.
She went to sit beside him on the ledge and when he saw her in his peripheral vision, he shifted deliberately. She moved near him and he shifted, once again. Tired of his masquerade, she put her chin on his shoulder.
"Mr. Malhotra, you are one moody child," She teased, nuzzling her nose against his neck, adding to his misery. Shravan's breath hitched in his throat.
"Your name is written on my heart and on my palm," She told him and felt his cheek swell into a smile against hers. "But, if you see it now, then what will you do on the wedding night?"
He turned his face to the side, his eyes bright with mishief, the corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk and she knew he was upto no good."Oh, there is plenty to do for a newly married couple, especially on their wedding night."
"Shravan!" She admonished, her face heating up because of what he was implying.
"Sumo, there is something I have wanted to do for a really long time, " He announced, standing up in front of her and stretched out his hand for her to take it.
"May I have a dance, madame?" He bowed dramatically and Sumo burst out laughing at the picture of innocence he made.
"I have mehendi on my hand," She said sheepishly, lifting her hands for him to see.
"It has dried," He pointed out.
Shravan diminished the distance between them by taking a step closer to her. She looked up at him and started to take a step backwards, but he was quick to wrap his free arm around her waist and pulled her to his chest. Shravan guided both her hands to rest on his shoulders and Suman crossed her arms behind his neck, forcing his gaze down.
"No music?" She arched an eyebrow at him and bit her lip, smiling to herself when he scowled at her.
His eyes twinkled as he placed his phone in the front pocket of his jeans. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and one piece of the earphones went in her ear and the other in his.
I found a love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
Soft music began to play and Suman searched his eyes and what she saw melt her heart even more, the creases of joy around his eyes made him look younger than he ever was, and the sun falling on the side of his face highlighted the colour of his eyes and she wondered why people went crazy over green and blue-eyed boys when brown eyed boys existed. Shravan held her delicately and made both of them sway to the gentle beats of the music.
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
With the help of his strong arms, he made her bare feet rest over and they laughed as her forehead met his chin. Her feet felt cold and cool on his heated skin and their chests rubbed against each other, sensually. He held her so close and tight like he'd never let her go and through the delicate material of her choli, she could feel his heart hammering away.
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine
Shravan turned her around, bringing her back to face his chest as they moved back and forth. and then he made her spin. His fingers traced a circuit from her shoulders to her hands, only grazing her skin but it was enough for him to feel the quick pulse under his hands and he couldn't decide whose heart was beating faster, his or hers.
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
Shravan swept her off her feet and in a matter of seconds, her legs were dangling in the air. A gasp of surprise left her lips as she laughed out loud - the sound, like music to him. She wound her arms around his shoulders and played with the hair on his nape. She dipped her face down and leaned her forehead against his, taking all of him in.
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
He was so distracted by her nearness, by the csnet of roses and vanilla swriling around him, that he almost didn't hear her whisper. "I have you trapped in the lines of my hand."
Shravan looked up at her, their lashes brushing. Her eyes twinkled with happiness but it was the smile her lips wore, he could take his eyes off of. And when he mouthed the lyrics at her, her smile only widened and his heart stopped beating for a second.
***
At a tender age, Shravan Malhotra had encountered enough harships and grief to last him for a lifetime. For the longest time, he had no hope for recovery or for happiness to finally knock at his door, like the long awaited love letter from the beloved. Years ago, if someone had told him that he would be alive to witness this day, he might have cut off all the ties with that person.
Ten years ago, he had been naive and stuck by the blows of the past. So deeply immersed in his grief and self-destruction that he had failed to notice the light and hope surrounding him.
Life is made of days where you implore for the pain to be taken away, for sleep to never slip from your grasp as you hold onto peace with your fingertips. It's also made of days where you can only raise your hands in gratefulness and bow your head in sign of reverence. Shravan Malhotra had taken a peek at both of these days.
Standing, at the mandap decorated with his soulmate's favorite flowers, spreading their earthly scent across the place, he found himself waiting, again. And as he waited for her, he realized that for the first time, he looked forward to go through this heartache of patience, she afflicted him with, since they were sixteen years old.
And, then she arrived. Clad in a golden and red lehenga, she seemed like a rose on the point to blossom. She descended the stairs, slowly. With, each step she took, his heart started beating faster and his hands became clammy.
She was his dream come true.
Suman's eyes filled with tears, all her emotions greeting her at the same time with an intensity, she couldn't put into words. He stood there, in his golden and red sherwani, matching her to the tee. From where she stood, she could see his eyes glistening, his expression mirroring hers,
The moment, she entered into his peripheral vision, there was no looking back. He didn't even notice when his eyes brimmed with tears and soon enough he found himself wiping his tears with the back of his hand, not wanting her to appear in a mist anymore - she had stayed an apparition for far too long.
Their eyes lock with each other' and he can't believe that he is marrying her, that she'll be his. She gave him a soft, teary smile and he returned her greeting with an equally soft smile and a naughty wink, breaking down the seriousness.
They are about to exchange garlands when their respective families tease and argue each other. Suman glanced up at him and found him donning an expression he only gave away when he was extremely emotional and on the brim of happinness. They had a found a family in each other.
As they got up for the pheras, his hold on her hand tightened, words were redundant with them but they could still hear the other whispering promises of love and friendship.
And when it was her turn to take the lead, she turned around to look at him and believe in her fate.
As they stood in front of each other and he filled her partition with vermilion and tied the mangalsutra around her slender neck, he took a moment to assess her.
With the tip of his finger, he smudged the kohl at the corner of her eyes and put it behind her ear. He wanted to ward off evil eye from her but he now was afraid of his own gaze.
"I am so incredibly lucky." He smiled with all his heart, warm fingers encircled her wrist and soft lips caressed her skin.
She dipped her head again, this time to hide her blush and the shy smile that had edged his way to her lips.
***
"You're awfully quiet," He murmured into her neck, planting a gentle kiss on her nape.
"I am just thinking about something," She replied softly, working on untying her hair from the bun. Her long hair fell loose around his hand and his fingers brushed through the silky strands as he set them behind her ear.
"May I know about what?" His lips left tingles against her soft skin as he nuzzled the side of her face.
"I have a question for you, Mr. Malhotra," She announced sternly and the dangerous glint in her eyes told him, she meant business.
His hold on her waist loosened, giving her enough space to turn herself around, so that they were still sitting cross-legged but this time facing each other. His fingers almost instantly found hers and he intertwined them together, the sound of the metallic clink of the platinum band on his ring finger against hers echoed through the room.
"Ask away," He whispered, leaning towards as he took hold of her earring in his hand before tracing her earlobe with his lips as he whispered sweet nothings to her. He felt a shudder go through her as her free hand clutched his shoulder in an attempt to push him away but he held onto her, resting his cheek against the curve of her neck.
Slowly, she pulled apart and her hand slipped from his shoulder to his chest, feeling his heartbeat go haywire. Their noses clashed softly eliciting chuckles from the both of them. He smiled as her lips left a trail of heated kissed against the cool skin of his face and neck, his beard prickling her as she rubbed her skin against his. She pecked his lips softly.
"Kaun Sumo?" Suman whispered, there was a childlike, wistful quality to her voice and a pensive yet mischievous look on her face.
"Meri Sumo?" He asked a question of his own, words tinged with amusement.She pretended to be upset but he was quick to dissuade her.
She felt the remnants of his laughter on her lips as he chuckled huskily on the corner of her mouth, leaving her breathless
Shravan looked up and the spark she loved so much made way into his light brown eyes. With warm fingers, he tipped her chin upwards.
His eyes contemplated every feature of her face as if committing it to his memory. Her dark brown eyes glistening with imminent joy, her prominent cheekbones which seemed to turn damask under his intense scrutiny, her full pink lips and the glowing happiness that radiated from her very being. She was simply breath-taking in her wedding attire. Simply beautiful as his.
His thumb caressed her soft cheek before he cupped her face and brought her closer to him, the distance minimalistic between them.
His lips grazed her forehead, lingering there for a long time before he pulled back and sighed happily.
"Meri yaadein, meri duniya, meri zindagi, sab kuch..."
Finally, she was home.
******
Apologies are due for this chapter but also my abscence. A week ago, I lost a very dear member of my family and many things are put back into perspective when you lose someone. I would ask you to pray for my family and not to take for granted your parents, love them with all you have till you have them with you.
I hope the chapter was upto the mark and this is the best gift I could gift to myself today. Your comments are the best and lI ook forward to them. To all of you reaching out to me, I know I am yet to reply but thank so much for your concern and the birthday wishes. It means a lot and I know I have lots of story to catch up, I am on it! Love you guys! <3
Suman leaned against her half open window in Tiwari Villa and simply looked on as the day was being swallowed by the night. Even shadows were absorbed by the encroaching darkness. The calm sound of the soft wind covered her ears.
She pushed the window open and let some fresh air penetrate into the room, the chilled breeze tousled her messy hair and pinked her cheeks.
She stood there, content and happy with the view. It was calming.
She tilted her head skyward and met a sight not so rare to behold, millions of bright stars dotted on the black canvas. She was allured by the vastness of the sky and the several wonders it brought. God truly had its way with his creations, she mused.
Suman had witnessed every season from her small wooden window as life went on at breakneck speed. Summer's magnificent sun often put a quick end to her precious slumber filled with dreams as it collided with rays of sharp reality. On days of mercy, the sunlight proved to be merciful and warmed her bones to the hilt as she lay down on the charpai on the rooftop of her home, concocting new dishes in her mind or humming her Nanu's old classical songs she spent the morning, listening to.
On rainy days, she left the window agape to hear the pitter-patter create havoc as the sweet earthly scent filtered through her room as a reminder of someone while she was kept busy to muddle through everything.
A habit, Mamiji despised but Suman still kept doing despite the earful she would receive.
For that one moment, she let her attention ramble from her daily ordeals and obstacles to her cherished memories.
So, she remembered him. Him and every little thing about him. His intelligent brown eyes, his soft unruly hair she ruffled so lovingly, his spontaneous remarks and his outlandish jokes, his constant admiration for her and his selfless friendship, his silence...
The memories flowed in form of tears and she couldn't stop them.
The realization was a devastating eye-opener for the sixteen year old girl, she was in love with him, she was in love with her best friend and she had compelled him to leave.
From that moment, her days were spent remembering him with her goals very much intact in her mind. Her two dreams that became her lifeline. To break free from the burden of debt and reunite with the one who had ignited the flame in her, who had taught her to spread her wings.
This was the thing with her memories, remembering Shravan meant to gain strength she lacked. Strength, she was in dire need of.
And how could she? How could she not remember him?
After all, he was an integral part of her life. Hidden from prying eyes, she had preserved him like an old treasure of great value, her most beautiful possession.
Together, they witnessed every colour life had thrown their way, hands in hands. He was always there, to protect her from the scorching heat, to provide her a shield from the rains. Her companion in laughter, in sorrow.
She heard the faint sound of her phone buzzing in the background and went to receive it. The name flashing on the screen made an instant smile sprout on her face. She sat with her legs crossed on her queen size bed and leaned against the headboard before answering the phone that was going off.
"Is this Suman Tiwari speaking?" A mischievous voice she was very familiar with its inflections questioned.
"Yes, it's she and you are?"
"Haven't you recognized me?"
"Am I supposed to?" She asked with a soft smile on her face as she tried to keep the ignorance intact in her tone.
"I believe, I gave you several rides to your home..." He pointed out.
"Oh, the lawyer! I do remember!" She exclaimed after a pause as if she remembered on the spot. "Tell me, is there something I can do for you?"
"Well, let's see..." The man trailed off mid-sentence. "How about a cup of coffee?"
"At this hour?" She asked surprised looking at the clock on her side table.
"Do you have an objection?" He interjected, she heard the gentle rustling of the sheets through the receiver - she could imagine him leaning against the headboard, mirroring her position.
"My fiance might have one," She retorted, a smug smile taking over her face as she consciously touched her ring finger, toying with the jewel.
"He doesn't have to know," He whispered, his voice went a notch down and she found herself drawn in, wanting to hear more of it.
"Anyways, what for?" She counter-questioned.
"I need some female companionship, tonight..." He drawled seductively, his voice husky and deep and she arched a brow at the bluntness of the man.
"Are you flirting with me?" She asked suddenly.
"I have been, for an infinite period of time."
"Are you by any chance calling me slow?" She scoffed.
"Sadly, that's an established fact." He said in fake sadness as an audible sigh of disappointment escaped his lips while he held back a laugh.
"Shravan!" She yelled and then he started laughing and didn't stop even when she began threatening him.
"Oh God, Sumo, I miss you!" He breathed out in a soft sigh stopping her rant in midway. The declaration made her smile.
Suman heard him breathing harshly as to calm himself down from all the laughing he had done, the smile was evident in his voice and when she closed her eyes, she could picture him and it seemed to her that he was lying next to her and the only thing separating them being the blanket and not the miles between his house and hers.
And, she wished, she was there with him.
Sha wanted to lay down in his strong arms and feel at home, run her fingers through his gorgeous locks as he told her about his day and she, in return told him about hers. She could never tire of hearing him talk, about his dreams and his aspirations from life. In his embrace, her world stopped still on its axis.
Although, it took lots of coaxing and she had to push him repeatedly for him to disclose his deepest fears and darkest troubles, she was the only one he would reach out to dismiss the sinking feeling in his stomach. In her embrace, all his worries lost their strings.
With his words, he painted such a vivid picture of the blossoming future awaiting them that she was left spellbound each time and enthralled by his light brown eyes that revealed a reflection of the innumerable possibilities that he intended to bring to life. A reflection of what they could create, together. The flicker of determination in his eyes told her so.
"We should elope!" He exclaimed all of a sudden.
"We are not eloping," Suman refuted as she shook her head with a chuckle at his endearing suggestion as she laid down sidewise on her bed, cradling her phone between her ear and the cushion.
She looked upwards and couldn't help but notice that her room's ceiling was very much closer to her than the blue and pristine one back in Malhotra Mansion.
"I don't care, I am sneaking in."
"You are not."
"Sumo!" She could imagine him scowling, his brows furrowed as he straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive manner.
"This is why I should have never let you go, everything is going wrong, I can't sleep at night, I can't tie a tie, I woke up late and forgot to wear my lenses and you ar -"
"Shravan, Shravan, Shravan," She cut him off in the middle of his tirade and he stopped short at the realization. "Take a deep breath." He breathed out.
"I can't sleep without you, Sumo. Please, come back, at least for the night," He whispered pleadingly and she found herself melting.
"Really? Because I sleep just fine without you," She stated seriously, wanting to rile him up a little bit.
"That explains why half of my t-shirts are gone," He remarked instantly and she bit her lip as she glanced down to herself. Indeed, she was wearing one of his t-shirts, yet again.
"Well, what's yours is mine, isn't it?"
"It is," He said softly.
"You know, it's not an obligation for us to get married with all the pump, we can settle for something simpler so I can come back home earlier and..." This time he was the one to cut her off.
"Shush!" He chastised, his voice contrastingly soft however.
"Listen to me, Sumo, this time around, I won't let you or anyone compromise with your happiness. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams, I want to see you wearing your mother's jewellery, I want you to remember our wedding as the most beautiful day of your life..."
Suman was rendered speechless.
"You deserve the world, Sumo and I want to be the one giving it to you even if for that to happen I need to stay two weeks away from you." She couldn't explain why but in that moment she felt like he was making a promise to her as well as himself.
Their conversation stretched from one topic to another, they never kept track of time whenever they talked as if they were not ready to let the other go, just yet. They wished to be actually laying beside each other, holding hands till she would fall asleep and he would follow suit after staring at her to his heart's content.
"Hey Shravan!" She called out as he had stayed silent for quite a while - he had most probably succumbed to sleep as she talked a mile.
"Hmm?" He hummed though the sleepy haze.
"You are my world," She whispered snapping him out from his drowsiness for a moment before a soft smile took over his face as he plunged into a peaceful slumber.
****
"Prepare yourself to lose, Pushkar," Shravan warned, his steady eyes focused on the tennis game ahead of them.
"Beware, Bhaiya, it has only started," Pushkar started to grow anxious as he noticed from the corner of his eyes the way Shravan moved the Wii remote with great expertise.
It was a sunny Sunday morning when both brothers decided to play a tennis match for old sake's time and to catch up on each other's lives and work, most importantly. With Shravan manoeuvring his own independent firm, Pushkar is now alongside Ramnath Malhotra, at the heads of Malhotra and Associates. But, he wouldn't hesitate to consult Shravan whenever he needed and the latter gladly offered help.
"Take this!" Pushkar yelled as he returned the ball in a quick reverse move. "By the way there is something I need to tell you."
"What?" Shravan huffed out, eyes never leaving the screen as his player set himself up to do a service and send the ball to the other side of the court. The match was at its crucial point.
"You're going to be Uncle," Pushkar announced in the most formal way possible.
"What did you say?!" Shravan's head whipped around so rapidly that Pushkar feared for his neck but that was just for a second before his attention was diverted to the screen, once again.
"And I win!" Pushkar exclaimed throwing his fist in the air as a victory sign while Shravan was left gawking at him, his eyes looking frantically between the screen and his brother as incomprehension etched his features.
"You cheated!" Shravan accused him pointing a finger at him as the remote was carelessly tossed on Shravan's bed, behind them.
"Excuse me?" When did I cheat?" Pushkar asked ever so innocently.
"You lied to distract me!"
"I merely used my newly acquired status to the test..." He trailed off, eyes bright with mirth. "And it seemed to work very well in my favour."
"So, you are actually being serious?" Shravan asked cautiously, arching a brow at him. Pushkar bobbed his head in an up and down motion.
"So, you and Preeti are..." Shravan motioned towards him and then behind him.
"Pregnant!" Pushkar completed his sentence and the next moment he was engulfed in a bear hug.
"Congratulations, I am so happy for you!" Shravan said, patting his back several times in an affectionate gesture.
"Thank you," Pushkar said and motioned him to sit on the bed as he plummeted next to him.
"When did you get to know?"
"Yesterday," Pushkar informed him. "And just so you know, you are the second to know."
"Who is first?" Shravan asked confused and Pushkar narrowed his eyes at him as if it was obvious.
"Sorry, I asked!" Shravan raised his hands in the air as realization dawned upon him.
"Sumo!" Both of them replied simultaneously and then smiled remembering her.
"Actually, she was the one having doubts and pushed Preeti to go for a check-up and turns out, Sumo is right. As of today, Preeti is three weeks pregnant," Pushkar told him.
"And how do you feel about it? Shravan passed an encouraging smile at him, genuinely wanting to know about his feelings regarding this new chapter of his life.
"I...I don't know, it all happened so fast but I am really happy and excited about it," Pushkar said, happiness shining brighter than disbelief in his eyes.
"That's the most important," Shravan stated quietly, one of his hand looped around his shoulder like he used to do in their childhood.
Shravan chuckled soundly and Pushkar looked up at him, surprised.
"I still can't believe that you, Pushkar, my Chotte is going to be a father to a human being...I mean I would have bet on a monkey or som -" He laughed out when Pushkar smacked him with a pillow.
"Time flies," Shravan said feeling a little nostalgic.
"It does," Pushkar sighed.
"You know, after Maa left I was completely lost. And many times, looking at you and Varun Bhaiya, I wished that I had a brother or sister of my own, someone who would understand what I was feeling without judging me or psychoanalyse me, just to see me for who I was because we would be in the same boat."
Pushkar glanced wide-eyed over at Shravan, who continued to sit there serenely but he was clever enough to stay quiet, it was not often that Shravan opened up so easily about his feelings.
"But, you always tried your best to never make me feel left out and that tells me what kind of father you will grow to be. Thank you for being the sibling I never had." Shravan continued on and Pushkar looked up, his eyes watering.
"Thank you, Bhaiya," Pushkar said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Don't you dare think that this newly acquired status of yours abscond you from any responsibility. You have a wedding to prepare, so go for it!" Shravan pulled him by the arm and dragged him out of the room.
"Are you seriously kicking me out of your room?" Pushkar was bewildered by his brother's behaviour.
"Yes."
"But, what's the hurry?" He asked as Shravan was about to close the door on his face. He saw someone calling on FaceTime on Shravan's phone.
"Oh, I see, it's Bhabhi," He teased but stopped short as he saw Shravan glaring at him.
"Go away," Shravan groaned.
"Fine, say namaste from my side." He winked at him.
"Idiot," He muttered under his breath before closing the door behind him.
***
"Shravan!" She whisper-yelled as she poked him on the shoulder. She towered over his sleeping form sprawled over the bed occupying all the space as he slept soundly on his stomach, strands of black silky hair falling on his forehead.
A silver of moonlight filtered through the curtains and she could decipher shadows dancing on his beautifully carved out face and was baffled by how clear his skin looked from close by and how his lashes caressed the skin underneath them.
She knelt down in front of him and her eyes traced his face with infinite tenderness. She was tempted to let her fingers wander over his slightly parted lips and bend down to touch them, she knew they would be warm and soft against hers.
Instead, her scrutiny never left his face. His prominent jaw and well-defined chin were obscured by his soft, prickly beard. She loved the feel of his beard against her palms and it made her want to drag his prickly beard against the sensitive skin of her cheeks and her neck and revel in its sensation of pure bliss. Parts of her really wanted to.
Shaking herself from these thoughts and concentrating on the task on hand, she pushed his messy hair away from his forehead and his eyes to have a clear view of his face and called him more softly this time. "Shravan!"
He stirred and turned around on his back with half lidded-eyes and gave her a tiny sleepy smile of recognition as he saw her. "Sumo," He whispered, his voice thick with sleep before he pulled her by the arm and she stifled a scream as she fell on top of him, essentially straddling him.
"Sumo?" He rubbed the ball of his right hand against his eyes and his fingers of the other hand reached out to caress her face and he blinked several times in order to get rid of the sleepy haze as he realized that she was actually here, in their room and not another appearance in one of his dreams.
"How did you come inside?" He asked sounding confused, he was still taken aback to see her in his room. It had only been five days since she went back to her maternal home while their families were preparing for their wedding with great enthusiasm.
"Keys," She said with a smug smile, quite proud of herself as she hung them in front of his face.
He pulled her down with the help of his hand on the small of her back and she gasped as she felt how close they were, literally flushed against each other.
"You did well," He whispered tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he shifted to make some room for her, underneath the blanket.
"Thank you, come now." Suman pulled him by the forearms only to be stopped by him as he held her wrist.
"Where?" He questioned, utterly bewildered.
"To drink Tom Uncle's tea!" She quipped happily pulling at his hand and he cupped his forehead in dismay.
"Sumo, it's five in the morning! I am not going anywhere, come here and sleep. I'll drop you to Tiwari Villa before everyone wakes up," He said yawning and laid down on the bed, hauling the covers over him.
"Shravan, please!" She whined, resting her chin on his chest as she looked at him through her lashes, deliberately fluttering them as she was aware of how it affects him.
"Stop doing that,"He groaned causing her to giggle.
"See, we'll argue over this for an hour and I'll keep pleading till you agree and eventually you'll agree because you can't say no to me. Isn't it better to save time?" She looked at him expectantly and he sighed heavily.
"Sometimes I really wonder who is the lawyer in the relationship..." He muttered under his breath as he threw the covers away.
"You won't regret it, I promise!" Sumo turned her face a little and reached up to place a kiss on his cheek.
***
Shravan brought two cups of hot piping tea and Sumo shifted with a smile in order to make some room for him on the small backseat that the rickshaw offered.
"Careful," She said as he passed her a cup.
He pulled her against his chest and wrapped one of his arm around her waist. She leaned into him and slid her glance to the side but did not say anything. She was peculiarly conscious of him sitting next to her, his warmth almost engulfing her entirely. His strong arms around her as his nose tickled her ear.
Last time, when they sat in the same place, the side of their bodies pressed against each other, she had been hyperaware of him and now as he touched her without any inhibition, that crackling in the air that always happened whenever the two of them got within a foot of each other now ran deep to her very core.
The two of them stared up at the morning sky. The first orange hues of the sunlight kissed the morning sky. Mellow blues and pinks blurred together, illuminating each crevices of the vast azure. A gentle breezed passed by causing her to shudder, she snuggled into him as he rubbed her arm in an up and downright motion. "Better?" He mouthed at her in a question.
She simply rest her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. He sighed in contentment and took a sip from the small cup of tea.
Sitting there, with the love of his life by his side, he made a silent prayer to God. For years, he had refused to do so, but for the sake of his present, for the woman he loved so dearly, Shravan was ready to bow down in front of the entity he had denied for so long. He prayed for every morning of his life to be this beautiful, for her hand to forever remain in his.
"It's so nice, here," Shravan said almost dreamingly.
"Told you," She remarked when she felt his lips pull up in a smile against her temple.
"You really are impossible, Sumo," Shravan said, his voice laced with endearement. "I thought, I would be the one scheming these kind of plans to meet you in the middle of the night but you turned out to be steps ahead of me."
"Well, you never took the initiative to take me on a date. So, I have to do everything by myself."
"Are you taunting me?"
She heard the menace and was about to retort with something witty when Shravan's hand slipped under her shirt or rather his and she let out a shriek of surprise as he started tickling her. "Shravan, stop!" She laughed out loud when she tried to swat his hands away, spilling the tea on both of them in the process.
"See, what you have done! I told you to bring napkins!" She straightened up between short giggles and he stopped tickling her to let her rummage through as she tried to clean the tea stains on both their shirts.
"I wonder how you must handle yourself back home. Thank God, the lights were out and I didn't get the time to see what a mess you created out of the room..." She mumbled to herself.
"See, this is exactly what I was talking about the other day, you can't help but be bossy. I am sure, few years down the line when we'll have grown old and have kids, you'll still be as bossy as you are and then I'll be able to say that see kids, your mother hasn't changed a bit and - what?" He asked when he noticed that she was staring at him with an amused smile.
"Kids? Have you been thinking about our kids?" She asked suspiciously, leaning towards him and smiled when she saw the tips of his ears turn red as they did when he was embarrassed.
"No, I-I mean yes. I don't know," He fumbled over his own words and made a gesture with his hand as if to dismiss the conversation.
"Since when?"
He was caught off guard by the question.
"Since when have you been thinking about this?" She clarified when he didn't answer.
"I think it started when Dabboo laid down in your room with us and it only intensified when we got to know about Preeti and Pushkar," He murmured, the smile on his face grew when he noticed her face light up at his words.
Sumo could tell that Shravan was hesitating to tell her something, it was almost at the tip of his tongue but he was holding himself back. Suman arched her eyebrow at him, her eyes asking her usual question but he shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as if he remembered something.
"Is there something more I need to know?" She prodded curiously, nudging her shoulder with his but he just shook his head.
"Why do you always forget the promises we made to each other? No secrecy between us!" She reminded him when he opened his mouth and shut it close again.
"Now, tell me."
"To be honest, I have always thought about it, you have been such a constant in my life that whenever I thought about the future or starting a family, it's you I pictured. But, raising kids, it's such a big responsibility that the moment the thought hit me, I would dismiss it, I never thought that I would be good enough for parenthood. Sometimes, I still fear that I am not," He said and laughed, sounding almost ashamed.
"I, for one know that you will be a great father. And no, I am not saying it just for the sake of it or to assure you, I genuinely believe it." She explained when she saw him making a grimace. She put her cup of tea down and took his face between both her palms.
"See, the best thing a father can do for his children is to love and respect their mother, cherish her. You have been doing it for a decade." She whispered lovingly, caressing his face with the back of her palm she couldn't get enough of the feel of his stubble against her soft palms. He pressed a gentle kiss on her delicate fingers.
"And there is no need for you to be ashamed about your fears and your apprehensions. If you knew, how many apprehensions I have about myself when it comes to this subject," She revealed and he was taken aback for a second.
"What kind of apprehension?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side, so he could gauge every of her expression. He could tell that she was taken off guard, the question was too impromptu for her.
Suman knew that it was futile to try and dissuade him not to peek into the abyss of darkness that had reigned her thoughts, her soul and mind and swallowed her whole. For once, she wanted to be taken care of. She was aware that there would be no respite for him till he had made sure to ebb away her worries, no matter how meaningless they appeared to be.
"The one that kept you away from me, for so long," She admitted with a sad smile. He put his cup down and held her hand in his. She interlinked their fingers together.
"Shravan, I have always wanted to be independent and successful. I might not be as successful as you are nor do I earn as much as you do but I have pined to make a name for myself and I have also longed to have a family that was truly mine." She said softly, not lifting her head.
"I know that after her marriage, a woman's first responsability is towards her family. These two lives are contradictory and I am aware that I need to find a balance between both. And that's what scares me the most, what if I make too many mistakes, what If I am not able to give them the time they deserve - "
"Do you remember the day we went to that small restaurant and you had to pay the bill because I forgot my wallet?" He stopped her in midsentence and she nodded reluctantly as she reminisced.
"That day, your words made me question everything I had ever believed in. My notions about women, my take on working women and the disparity between men and women. You made me realize how wrong I was and now you are the one doubting?" His voice was soft but his question sharp.
"Sumo," He murmured, caressing the soft skin of her cheeks, his fingers working on pushing the strands of hair dancing around her, hiding her face from his piercing eyes. "If there is one person, I trust to do the right thing with my children, then it's you. I have seen you juggling between familial and professional duties with brio. I know you'll do your most for our family." He said, the words sounding like a mild scolding but his touches feathery as he traced her face.
"I don't ever want you to think that you are any less than me. Especially, professionally wise. It broke my parents, once. I don't ever want us to break apart. I don't ever want to be separated from you..." Shravan nearly whispered, his face changed, turned grave and she could swear that she saw his eyes glaze over. Instinctly, she slipped her hand around his arm - she hated it when he cried, it was a sight that made her feel hollow and helpless.
"After my mother left, I kept convincing myself that I didn't need her. I was sure that I would be just fine without her. I thought that my father's presence would be enough. But the void she left in my life, it's like a part of me ceased to exist. I didn't need only my father or my mother, I needed them both." Shravan's voice broke, his gaze shifted.
A true home for a child is a place where he gets the same amount of love and affection from both the sides. A childhood is made of a mother's sweet scolding and her melodious lullabies that make the darkest nights feel like a mere bad nightmare. A childhood is made of a father's thundering laugh and warm hugs that heal the deepest wounds.
A mother's place is irreplaceable and so is a father's. They are the glue and the cement of a house made of bricks.
And when you lose a parent to the grave or circumstances, it doesn't matter how much time passes by, how many years you have witnessed or how grey is your hair. There is always an emptiness within you and you can try to fill it with artifices, with glimpses of the places of the world and the resounding cacophony, but the emptiness never goes away, it always stays. It's engrained into your system.
"I don't ever want our children to feel empty like you and I have felt, before we found ourselves." He took a moment to make sure she was paying attention to his words. "You were right to question a man's role in society, as a father. It shouldn't be only the mother's responsibility to find a balance. That responsibility is meant to be shared equally."
"Today, I promise you to give you the family we never had. I promise you, to be the best friend I failed to be, for so many years. To help you fly and reach the skies. You called me your wings, once. I won't let you fall so easily. I am holding you," He affirmed, unblinking.
Before he knew it, he was engulfed in an embrace. The arms that held him were soft yet strong. He bathed in her heavenly scent and sunk into the warmth of her softness, appreciative of the simple gesture. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him close, gently rubbing his back. "I fell in love with you because of your independence and the fire in your eyes, don't ever let it dim for anyone, not even for me." He whispered into her neck and a hot tear landed on his skin.
"I want our children to have not only one but two great examples to follow."
Suman pulled back, her face moved closer to his ever so slowly and his eyes closed on their own accord as she rubbed her nose against his, giving him an eskimo kiss. Their eyes met, reverent and wide, silent conversation flowed between them.
"Tum aise kaise ho, Shravan?" She murmured, her eyes tracing his face.
There was a look of sheer awe on her face that floored him and made him feel warm on the inside.
"Does this translate to 'I love you' in your language?" He asked, amusement dripping in his voice.
Suman just shook her head at him with a smile, telling him everything she wanted to without using the words that seemed to be stuck in her throat.
***
"What do I get?" He asked, pulling her to his chest as his back rested against his car, his large palms splayed on her petite waist as her hands came to rest on his chest.
"For what?"
"For letting you go," He reminded her gently, he had just dropped her home.
"Anything you want," She said a little while later, surprising him - she never agreed so easily.
"A kiss should suffice," He grinned leaning towards her but she kept her palm over his lips.
"I am sorry, but I don't kiss before the third date." She offered a shrug.
"Oh, so if you suggest us to take the breakfeast inside, that would count as a second date and if I make you a cup of coffee afterwards, technically that's a third date, what do you think?" This time his grin was far less apparent, something more apparent to a smirk.
"Besharam!" She slapped her hand against his chest, eliciting a yelp from him as she tried to scurry away from his hold, even though he held her gently.
Between peels of laughter and stolen kisses, he bid her goodbye and drove back home but not before catching in the palm of his hand, the rare token of love she blew at him.
***
"What are you doing here?" Suman asked incredulously, walking fastly towards him, her hands full of mehendi, slightly raised by her sides as to not stain her white and yellow lehenga.
Shravan turned his head towards her and forced his neck back as he gazed up to her. His eyes wandered over her lehenga clad form and the bare skin of her midriff. He gulped, his fingers itched to reach out and touch the curves there, to know if she was just as soft everywhere.
"You look absolutely..." He started but stopped himself, not finding the words. Nervously, he laughed, and reached up to ruffle his hair, tearing his gaze away from her.
Suman's eyes swung down to him when he began to stammer, alight with sharp amusement as she came to understand what he was trying to say - she had noticed him sneaking furtive glances at her in their childhood and then when he came back, the glint of love and longing danced openly in his eyes - but never had she seen him so flustered around her that he had to drop his gaze down.
"Shravan!" She waved a hand in front of him and he blinked twice as if she had given him a jolt. Shravan felt his cheeks warming up, realizing he'd been caught red-handed in admiration.
"I asked, what are you doing here?" She prodded.
He cleared his throat and straightened himself to his full height. "I sneaked in." He managed a smile.
"That, I can see, but what for?" She pushed, waiting for a concrete answer.
He took a step closer to her and bend down so they were at face level. "To see my name in your mehendi," He whispered into her ear.
"Why would I write your name in my mehendi?" Suman raised her chin in defiance.
"To be marked with my love," He held her chin between his fingers and his thumb brushed against her lower lip. She shivered and he felt it.
"But, Shravan, I really haven't written your name in my mehendi," She said, sounding deeply apologetic.
"What do you mean by that?" He eyed her warily.
"You were the one, who said that the name should be written on the heart and that it is not necessary to show it to the whole world by writing it in the mehendi," She said, trying to mimick him, while he gawked at her in disbelief.
"How can you not write my name in your mehendi?! He complained loudly, almost stomping his foot on the floor, before turning his face away from her and sitting on the ledge of the terrace.
Suman stifled a smile as she gazed lovingly at him. She wanted to cajole him out of his bad mouth, his gesture rivaling one of a child.
She went to sit beside him on the ledge and when he saw her in his peripheral vision, he shifted deliberately. She moved near him and he shifted, once again. Tired of his masquerade, she put her chin on his shoulder.
"Mr. Malhotra, you are one moody child," She teased, nuzzling her nose against his neck, adding to his misery. Shravan's breath hitched in his throat.
"Your name is written on my heart and on my palm," She told him and felt his cheek swell into a smile against hers. "But, if you see it now, then what will you do on the wedding night?"
He turned his face to the side, his eyes bright with mishief, the corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk and she knew he was upto no good."Oh, there is plenty to do for a newly married couple, especially on their wedding night."
"Shravan!" She admonished, her face heating up because of what he was implying.
"Sumo, there is something I have wanted to do for a really long time, " He announced, standing up in front of her and stretched out his hand for her to take it.
"May I have a dance, madame?" He bowed dramatically and Sumo burst out laughing at the picture of innocence he made.
"I have mehendi on my hand," She said sheepishly, lifting her hands for him to see.
"It has dried," He pointed out.
Shravan diminished the distance between them by taking a step closer to her. She looked up at him and started to take a step backwards, but he was quick to wrap his free arm around her waist and pulled her to his chest. Shravan guided both her hands to rest on his shoulders and Suman crossed her arms behind his neck, forcing his gaze down.
"No music?" She arched an eyebrow at him and bit her lip, smiling to herself when he scowled at her.
His eyes twinkled as he placed his phone in the front pocket of his jeans. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and one piece of the earphones went in her ear and the other in his.
I found a love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
Soft music began to play and Suman searched his eyes and what she saw melt her heart even more, the creases of joy around his eyes made him look younger than he ever was, and the sun falling on the side of his face highlighted the colour of his eyes and she wondered why people went crazy over green and blue-eyed boys when brown eyed boys existed. Shravan held her delicately and made both of them sway to the gentle beats of the music.
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
With the help of his strong arms, he made her bare feet rest over and they laughed as her forehead met his chin. Her feet felt cold and cool on his heated skin and their chests rubbed against each other, sensually. He held her so close and tight like he'd never let her go and through the delicate material of her choli, she could feel his heart hammering away.
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine
Shravan turned her around, bringing her back to face his chest as they moved back and forth. and then he made her spin. His fingers traced a circuit from her shoulders to her hands, only grazing her skin but it was enough for him to feel the quick pulse under his hands and he couldn't decide whose heart was beating faster, his or hers.
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
Shravan swept her off her feet and in a matter of seconds, her legs were dangling in the air. A gasp of surprise left her lips as she laughed out loud - the sound, like music to him. She wound her arms around his shoulders and played with the hair on his nape. She dipped her face down and leaned her forehead against his, taking all of him in.
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
He was so distracted by her nearness, by the csnet of roses and vanilla swriling around him, that he almost didn't hear her whisper. "I have you trapped in the lines of my hand."
Shravan looked up at her, their lashes brushing. Her eyes twinkled with happiness but it was the smile her lips wore, he could take his eyes off of. And when he mouthed the lyrics at her, her smile only widened and his heart stopped beating for a second.
***
At a tender age, Shravan Malhotra had encountered enough harships and grief to last him for a lifetime. For the longest time, he had no hope for recovery or for happiness to finally knock at his door, like the long awaited love letter from the beloved. Years ago, if someone had told him that he would be alive to witness this day, he might have cut off all the ties with that person.
Ten years ago, he had been naive and stuck by the blows of the past. So deeply immersed in his grief and self-destruction that he had failed to notice the light and hope surrounding him.
Life is made of days where you implore for the pain to be taken away, for sleep to never slip from your grasp as you hold onto peace with your fingertips. It's also made of days where you can only raise your hands in gratefulness and bow your head in sign of reverence. Shravan Malhotra had taken a peek at both of these days.
Standing, at the mandap decorated with his soulmate's favorite flowers, spreading their earthly scent across the place, he found himself waiting, again. And as he waited for her, he realized that for the first time, he looked forward to go through this heartache of patience, she afflicted him with, since they were sixteen years old.
And, then she arrived. Clad in a golden and red lehenga, she seemed like a rose on the point to blossom. She descended the stairs, slowly. With, each step she took, his heart started beating faster and his hands became clammy.
She was his dream come true.
Suman's eyes filled with tears, all her emotions greeting her at the same time with an intensity, she couldn't put into words. He stood there, in his golden and red sherwani, matching her to the tee. From where she stood, she could see his eyes glistening, his expression mirroring hers,
The moment, she entered into his peripheral vision, there was no looking back. He didn't even notice when his eyes brimmed with tears and soon enough he found himself wiping his tears with the back of his hand, not wanting her to appear in a mist anymore - she had stayed an apparition for far too long.
Their eyes lock with each other' and he can't believe that he is marrying her, that she'll be his. She gave him a soft, teary smile and he returned her greeting with an equally soft smile and a naughty wink, breaking down the seriousness.
They are about to exchange garlands when their respective families tease and argue each other. Suman glanced up at him and found him donning an expression he only gave away when he was extremely emotional and on the brim of happinness. They had a found a family in each other.
As they got up for the pheras, his hold on her hand tightened, words were redundant with them but they could still hear the other whispering promises of love and friendship.
And when it was her turn to take the lead, she turned around to look at him and believe in her fate.
As they stood in front of each other and he filled her partition with vermilion and tied the mangalsutra around her slender neck, he took a moment to assess her.
With the tip of his finger, he smudged the kohl at the corner of her eyes and put it behind her ear. He wanted to ward off evil eye from her but he now was afraid of his own gaze.
"I am so incredibly lucky." He smiled with all his heart, warm fingers encircled her wrist and soft lips caressed her skin.
She dipped her head again, this time to hide her blush and the shy smile that had edged his way to her lips.
***
"You're awfully quiet," He murmured into her neck, planting a gentle kiss on her nape.
"I am just thinking about something," She replied softly, working on untying her hair from the bun. Her long hair fell loose around his hand and his fingers brushed through the silky strands as he set them behind her ear.
"May I know about what?" His lips left tingles against her soft skin as he nuzzled the side of her face.
"I have a question for you, Mr. Malhotra," She announced sternly and the dangerous glint in her eyes told him, she meant business.
His hold on her waist loosened, giving her enough space to turn herself around, so that they were still sitting cross-legged but this time facing each other. His fingers almost instantly found hers and he intertwined them together, the sound of the metallic clink of the platinum band on his ring finger against hers echoed through the room.
"Ask away," He whispered, leaning towards as he took hold of her earring in his hand before tracing her earlobe with his lips as he whispered sweet nothings to her. He felt a shudder go through her as her free hand clutched his shoulder in an attempt to push him away but he held onto her, resting his cheek against the curve of her neck.
Slowly, she pulled apart and her hand slipped from his shoulder to his chest, feeling his heartbeat go haywire. Their noses clashed softly eliciting chuckles from the both of them. He smiled as her lips left a trail of heated kissed against the cool skin of his face and neck, his beard prickling her as she rubbed her skin against his. She pecked his lips softly.
"Kaun Sumo?" Suman whispered, there was a childlike, wistful quality to her voice and a pensive yet mischievous look on her face.
"Meri Sumo?" He asked a question of his own, words tinged with amusement.She pretended to be upset but he was quick to dissuade her.
She felt the remnants of his laughter on her lips as he chuckled huskily on the corner of her mouth, leaving her breathless
Shravan looked up and the spark she loved so much made way into his light brown eyes. With warm fingers, he tipped her chin upwards.
His eyes contemplated every feature of her face as if committing it to his memory. Her dark brown eyes glistening with imminent joy, her prominent cheekbones which seemed to turn damask under his intense scrutiny, her full pink lips and the glowing happiness that radiated from her very being. She was simply breath-taking in her wedding attire. Simply beautiful as his.
His thumb caressed her soft cheek before he cupped her face and brought her closer to him, the distance minimalistic between them.
His lips grazed her forehead, lingering there for a long time before he pulled back and sighed happily.
"Meri yaadein, meri duniya, meri zindagi, sab kuch..."
Finally, she was home.
******
Apologies are due for this chapter but also my abscence. A week ago, I lost a very dear member of my family and many things are put back into perspective when you lose someone. I would ask you to pray for my family and not to take for granted your parents, love them with all you have till you have them with you.
I hope the chapter was upto the mark and this is the best gift I could gift to myself today. Your comments are the best and lI ook forward to them. To all of you reaching out to me, I know I am yet to reply but thank so much for your concern and the birthday wishes. It means a lot and I know I have lots of story to catch up, I am on it! Love you guys! <3
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