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Chapter 2-Baby steps
She woke up to a warmth she had been craving for her whole life. She sighed against it and snuggled closer to it, trying to ward off that feeling of incompleteness. She could hear herself crying and someone whispering her name followed by a shh. Her cheek was pressed against a soft material as she deciphered a steady and constant sound, which calmed her almost instantly. That someone was caressing her hair and patting her back, providing her comfort she needed. She wasn't against the warmth, she had longed for it but she sure had some problems with the one providing it.
"Sumo shh utho dekho main hu yahan."
So she did what any other human being would have done, if his personal space would be invaded, she kicked him. Hard. He looked quite surprised as he processed to sit back, still rubbing his backside. That was a little harsh.
"Tum yahan kya kar rahe ho ?" She asked, still unsure.
"I should be the one asking you this."He retorted.
Few moments passed into the silence as the haze of sleep she was in started slowly disappearing and she was now awake. She looked around her surroundings, still shaken by that nightmare which looked more real than the last one. She was in the courtyard and he was in front of her. The one she had been avoiding since the last couple of days. Her one week old husband. Her once upon a time best friend and now stranger. Shravan.
Now that he was at some inches away from her, she could not help but look at him, really look at him. He looked tired, really tired. He let his beard grow, which made him look way more mature than his actual age. The eyes who would lit up her world, were now devoid of any emotions. In just one week, he looked drained out, she drained him out and this marriage was the cause of his unhappiness.
She smiled bitterly as she remembered how much faith she had instore into this relationship, into them. How she had planned a whole future with him, where everything was shiny and beautiful, but her life was no fairy tale and she was not a princess.
How proudly she had claimed to Ramnath Uncle, that it didn't matter If she went away from him, he would reach out to her no matter what, no matter how, because they were Shravan and Sumo, they were meant to be.
"Shravan ki Sumo, Sumo ka Shravan."
She was living in a world of illusions. Illusion which were too beautiful to be true, which were out of her reach. He was never hers to begin with. He always belonged to his demons, which got the best of him.
Now she was just a burden to his shoulders, the noose to his neck which he had to toss here and there. She was punishment to him, otherwise he would have never hurt her the way he did. He would have never malign their relationship in a way that could never be washed again.
She always thought that whatever the circumstances may be, he would always respect their bound. He would never do something out of line. But he did and with that her last hope was crushed. Perhaps he never really loved her.
Looking at him hurt. When she would stare too long at him, which happened a lot these days, especially at night, a lump formed in her throat and she just wanted to cry her eyes out because after what he had done to her, to them, a part of her still missed him. Staying in his room, hurt. Being around him, hurt. She wanted to badly shake him, to demand her Shravan back, she wanted to yell at him, to knock some sense into him, to ask him where did all went wrong. Would they ever be happy?
Living under the same roof for now seven days, made her understand one thing clearly, as much as she wanted, as much as she tried, hating Shravan Malhotra was as difficult as solving the Rubik's cube and God knows she had been trying for years.
She would always love him, not matter what he did, her imbecile heart would always found himself drawing towards him, Suman still wanted to believe that under all that hate, that anger that resentment was buried her best friend. Because at the moment she could not recognise the man in front of him, she was scared of him, of what his fury was capable to make him do and yet there is a tiny voice in her head which tells her to reach out to him, to not let him slip away to the darkness of his demons. This was the very fear and uneasiness she had experienced the night, the news of her marriage with Aditya came out.
Despite his height and physique, Shravan never really intimated her, sure there were instances where he was able to fluster her, like the time he would step extra close to her invading her personal space or when he would bend down to whisper something in her ear, his breath fanning on the skin of her neck, but she never felt uncomfortable around him, she was used to his familiarity, she was at ease with him. But that night, when he held her close to his frame, spitting his venom at her, she just wanted to disappear. She didn't want to acknowledge this side of his. She didn't want to be familiar with it.
He could see that she was quite shaken up by that nightmare and it didn't take him too long to figure out what it was about. "Aditya, you are so dead." That was another case he had to take care of.
He looked down at her, her cheeks were blotchy with all the crying she had done, her hair sticking to it, she took some sharp intakes of breath as she tried to calm herself, tightening her shawl around, protecting herself from the cold and he realised... from him.
A wry smile took over his features. How life had turned on him, there was a time, she would run to him for every little thing, a little scratch on the elbow, a math's homework. Shravan had the solution of every problem. Even though he had broken all the ties with her, it was him who she run to when all hell broke loose. Now, she was protecting herself from him, building walls around herself.
She refused to crumble down in front of him. She reminded herself over and over again that there was nothing left between them. So she held back her tears, again. That was something she always did in front of him. Always trying to be strong even if she was scattered from the inside. She felt exposed under his scrutiny, it was like he was able to see through her soul. She started to leave when he held her back.
"Kuch pucha hai mene tumse Sumo." He growled.
"Suman." She corrected, again.
He took a sharp intake of breath trying to calm his throbbing nerves.
"Suman. I am asking again what were you doing here ?"
"Tumse matlab." She back fired.
"Bol ais-." His voice had picked up, but she threw him a pointed look which shut him up almost immediately.
"I am merely trying to figure out what is my wife doing in the middle of the night, all alone in the cold."He asked this time, his voice calming a notch down, his eyes softer.
"Wife." She laughed humourlessly at his claim, a dry and deep laugh which he doubted would ever leave him. It hurt him to see her like this. Cold, emotionless. His Sumo always had a little smile playing on her face, mischief in her eyes, her head always held high.
As she realised, he wasn't letting her go without an answer. She gave him one.
"Mujhe neend nahi aarahi thi.Toh bahar hawa khane aagayi." She looked down, not wanting him to see through her lies, but he didn't miss how her eyes were prone to flutter when lying.
"Tumhe lagta hai ke tum mujhse jhoot bol paogi. Koshish bhi kyon karta hoon?"
It reminded them of a time where he could read her like the back of his hand, everything was complicated and yet so easy back then.
"Main jaanta hoon ke tum pichle teen dinon se adhi raat kamre se bahar chali jaati ho. Aur tumhe nightmares bhi aate rehte hain. Tumne bataya kyon nahi mujhe ?" His tone was accusing now. It looked like, she was disgusted to such an extent, that the thought of sharing a bed, a life with him had become unbearable to her. She preferred staying in the cold, all alone than bearing his presence. She wasn't able to sleep and she didn't considerate informing him, his Sumo would wake him up and annoy him with her antics.
"Why do you even care? As you said nobody wants me." She said nonchalantly looking at him in the eyes, she was thrown aback by the pain in his eyes and the incredible amount of it. She had touched a sensible chord.
He was drowning into his guilt. He did not realise how badly his words had affected her until now. Oh how he regretted those words.
"Mujhe laga tum chali gaye."It was such a low admittance, she couldn't have heard him if it was not for the silence surrounding them. Her heart leaped at his words as his eyes mirrored the longing of hers. She wanted to believe him. He couldn't muster the courage to look at her, but she saw the 16 year old teenager resurging and his fear of being abandoned empowering every part of his being.
"Pir to tum bohot khush hogaye hoge. Kuch der keliye hi sahi tumhe aapne uninvited mehman se chutkara mil gaya."
What was she saying? How could she think so? She wasn't uninvited. It didn't matter in which situation they had been bound to each other, she belonged with him. His goal never was to make her feel miserable he simply wanted to protect himself from further heartbreak. Now he realized his folly, in his attempt to give it back to the world he had become this man, he himself could not recognize. He had become selfish. In his quest of revenge, he failed to see her, the center of his universe.
"You are no the only one hurting here."
"Oh sorry tum to certificate lekar paida huwe the." Her voice raised for the first time since the beginning of their conversation. They both realized that they had reached unchartered territories. It could go very wrong from now on. He decided that it was time to take things into control. Enough of these dramas! They would sort it out like adults.
"Dekho we both made mistakes Kuch tumne ki aur kuch mene. Na to main tumse maafi maangon ga na main tumse kisi bhi tara ki apology ki umeed rakh raha hoon. Lekin humne shaadi ki hai aur Papa keliye, Nana ji keliye, I want to make it work.I am not asking you to forget anything and move on. I just want us to be cordial and civil towards each other. Deal?" He forwaded his hand towards her.
"Deal." She pondered a while before shaking his hand in a business like way.
"Ek aur baat, aaj ke baad tumhe rona ho, tod fod karni ho ya ghussa karna ho tum jo bhi karna chati ho, you'll do it in our room aur agar mene dekha ke tum adhi raat kamre se bahar nikli, then the consequences will be bad. Ye jo bhi hai, jaisa bhi hai, humara rishta hai and I don't want to make it a public display to the vultures out there."
So much for being the image conscious one!
"The same applies to you Mr. Malhotra. Waise to mujhe koi khaas parwa nahi lekin agli baar tumne gharwalon ke samne ya kisi nokar ke samne sharab pee, then mind it Shravan, you'll think twice before touching a bottle in your life."
A soft smile kissed his lips. This was Sumo, who would fight back, who would never bow down before anyone. He loved it when she bossed him around, it was like she considered him as her own and that she had a right over him.
"Ab kamre main khud se chalo gi ya main zabardasti utha kar lekar jaon ?"
"You wouldn't dare." She said mocking, however she wasn't ready for the words that left his mouth a second later.
He stepped extra close to her, his breath caressing the sensitive skin of her ear. "You shouldn't underestimate me, Mrs Malhotra." There was something about the way, he looked at her right now and she couldn't help but notice the way her heart picked up a little too fast when he claimed her as his, which he had already done thrice.
He gave her his hand and she took it without any further arguments, she was too tired for that. They walked to his room in silence, correction their room.
It was not the first time they were going to share a bed together and yet she could feel the butterflies in her stomach. He had called her "His wife". He had acknowledged her presence in his life. Sure, it didn't make anything alright, it didn't solve the hundred issues, frustrations and grudges they held against each other.
It just made her believe that perhaps, they were going to be fine, they were going to be happy and life wasn't that bad after all. She drifted to these thoughts in mind, a small smile on her face.
She was sound asleep, but he couldn't sleep, not with her being that close to him. She wouldn't be scared anymore, she'll never feel threatened, by anything or anyone, that was his promise to himself.
After all this was his life's case and it could take as many hearings she wanted, he was adamant to win this one. He wouldn't let her go. Not this time. He slowly enlaced his fingers with her, this was his promise to her.
"Good night, Suman."
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Thoughts ?
This chapter mostly captured Sumo's feelings but you'll soon see her dwelling on her mistakes. I am giving you sweet moments before the huge show down, so buckle your belts.
Chapter 3:
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ek-duje-ke-vaaste/4800419/shraman-ff-holding-you-c18-pg-102?pn=11Edited by KitkitMkb - 6 years ago
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