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Posted: 8 years ago
#1




"Every human being, with no exception, for the mere fact to be it, is worthy of unconditional respect of everybody else; he deserves to esteem himself and to be esteemed."

"Our ego is your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your "self." If you say someone has "a big ego," then you are saying he is too full of himself."

Here is the difference and the way you draw the thin line between self respect and ego.

Self respect or even ego cannot be classified as good or bad but both of them are the need of your body. Psychologically saying it's correlated and the most interesting part is with high self esteem comes the little amount of ego a person's posess.

For instance let's take our leads in example.

Shravan ten years back was a geek. A total nerd who was smitten in love with his best friend who failed to even acknowledge his presence in school. At times she would say she is embarrassed of him and that his image is what should be maintained more than her friendship with Shravan. The rather interesting part here is that even though Shravan disliked this very fact he lived with it and he did not have any problem with the way Suman behaved with him while in high school.
Now this is exactly what he wants Suman to do.He wants Karma to bite her ass and wants her to live with this ego of his if not forever for some time.But little does he realise that she is still the Sumo at heart.

But things happened which I believe is Suman even though she did not want had to embarrass Shravan because of the letter and in a fit of rage, hurt and betrayal Shravan left for London. While in London his self respect and the embarrassment is what changed him. Ironically Suman being the very reason for the change in his behavior and whatever that took place in London.

Here in India Suman has regretted each day but along with that she has established herself in her own small way. Please note she has also changed herself and let down her ego and became the girl Shravan wanted for his forgiveness. However for the long years of ego in high school her narcissist self does come out because she takes her phone and pretends to be busy. We could fairly say Suman's ego comes out in installments and Shravan is just carrying it as a mask on his face.

The two things common between them in this phase is that they have changed for the other and of course stalk each other.😆

Now when back Suman excitedly reaches his house only to find Shravan mentioning "He does not remember her."This is the ego speaking. It's the version of Shravan created in his mind that yes I have achieved something and now I am beyond her and apparently "moved on".

This hits the ego of Suman and for her, self respect she walks away and barges out. Her tears speak for her and well Shravan did notice in the part and looked at her going; an act of his ego.

"Possessing little self-regard can lead people to become depressed, to fall short of their potential, or to tolerate abusive situations and relationships."

"Too much self-love, on the other hand, results in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures."

The above things do not suit our leads completely but more or less defines the change that has taken place in both of them in this decade. In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self.

The thing is not the fight between the leads for the ego is the main theme of the story. The war is still between the other's self respects. Shravan is still in the past of what happened ten years ago which has hurt him deeply and scarred his self respect. The scars have scared him and the memories haunt and that is why he is shown to be tough just to show her that "yes Suman I have moved on."

He has lied to the whole world but his actions just show that he is still that nerd, geek and smitten in love with Suman and here is where ego just rightly fits in. He fails to admit this. It's his illusion created in his mind.

Same with Suman. She has lived the past ten years in the hope to get his forgiveness. She has let down her ego to get back that friendship with him and boom in the first meeting party where he says "I don't remember her."First attack on her, self respect and further more now in the party it is going to be exactly the same way .And this is going to hurt her, self respect too but she is the "Sumo". She will show him that she has lived ten years without him and will live more.

Therefore all are pretence and a facade they are going to play with. Rightly as the show caption said they are going to fight the battles of "moving on" from each other but with the hope to have their partners by their side.



One long rant which makes no sense.But then I thought maybe we could discuss😳

Edited by loquacious_me - 8 years ago

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BinKuchKahe. thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2

Dude, this is uncanny. I just opened a post on the same topic.
Alright, on to this heavy topic. Gonna repeat it again, I am bad with words but I'll try.

There is indeed a thin line of difference between self-respect & ego. They are 2 sides of the same coin that need to be managed. We may end up hurting our self-respect if we try to restrain our ego. The biggest difference really is ego being negative energy, & feeling that power of being supreme & one who can do no wrong. Self-respect, on the other hand, is positive energy; a sign of confidence & self-worth.
ShraMan always oscillate between ego & self-respect in a chain of actions/reactions. They misunderstand each other's intentions/stance because of this very ego. In simple terms, this obsession they have with themselves. And that has a lot to do with the way the incidents around their lives shaped up. Shravan leaving for London, like you said, was definitely him standing up for his self-respect but the Shravan who now asks Suman to 'move on' is clearly his ego speaking. Sumo wanting to make up to him, apologizing for her mistakes was clearly a sign of her self-respect & respect for Shravan too, as an individual who has been hurt & deserves her apology. But her lashing out at him for leaving the mata ki chowki & terming it his ego, without giving him a chance to explain, was clearly her ego speaking.
The only way these two can break out of this ego is to break out of this obsession they have with themselves, & for that they will have to first be willing to listen to each other's POV. Because when they look beyond themselves, they will be able to see how much hurt the other party went through as well & that would allow them to even understand & respect each other.

OK now I am lost as to what I wrote. It made sense in my head though😆 Trust you to make even 1% sense out of what I said.
Edited by prc_fan1 - 8 years ago
slippedaffairs thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#3
I love Rants! Coz they are intense and long and good to read.
-Loq- thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: prc_fan1


Dude, this is uncanny. I just opened a post on the same topic.
Alright, on to this heavy topic. Gonna repeat it again, I am bad with words but I'll try.

There is indeed a thin line of difference between self-respect & ego. They are 2 sides of the same coin that need to be managed. We may end up hurting our self-respect if we try to restrain our ego. The biggest difference really is ego being negative energy, & feeling that power of being supreme & one who can do no wrong. Self-respect, on the other hand, is positive energy; a sign of confidence & self-worth.
ShraMan always oscillate between ego & self-respect in a chain of actions/reactions. They misunderstand each other's intentions/stance because of this very ego. In simple terms, this obsession they have with themselves. And that has a lot to do with the way the incidents around their lives shaped up. Shravan leaving for London, like you said, was definitely him standing up for his self-respect but the Shravan who now asks Suman to 'move on' is clearly his ego speaking. Sumo wanting to make up to him, apologizing for her mistakes was clearly a sign of her self-respect & respect for Shravan too, as an individual who has been hurt & deserves her apology. But her lashing out at him for leaving the mata ki chowki & terming it his ego, without giving him a chance to explain, was clearly her ego speaking.
The only way these two can break out of this ego is to break out of this obsession they have with themselves, & for that they will have to first be willing to listen to each other's POV. Because when they look beyond themselves, they will be able to see how much hurt the other party went through as well & that would allow them to even understand & respect each other.

OK now I am lost as to what I wrote. It made sense in my head though😆 Trust you to make even 1% sense out of what I said.



Well amazingly I do get what you are trying to tell.😆
Aptly its the communication gap speaking for them now which they have termed as the other's ego.

DivI10 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5
its completely make sense good post loving to read them..
Ri21 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#6
Totally agree with you and sam. I see the love they have for eachother is now being ruled over by ego. And we ll get to see self respect and ego colliding. Even in precap suman didnot want to take the gift in front of him it was her ego and shravan toh doing all these for his ego. What ever ll happen in the party suman ll stand up as she not like all the female leads who ll be crying like a baby (cvs dont break my heart here). So suman ll give it back but ll be equally broken beyond repair. After that we ll see how both of their ego destroys themselves only. Guess the only thing which can bring out their emotions is if they keep aside their ego and self respect and just TALK or prepare urself to loose him/her one day
poppinss thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#7

I dont know self respect and ego. But I will delve into Love, betrayal, hurt and redemption :)

Shravan construed what happened as Betrayal. More like Ceasar and Brutus in 'you too Brutus'.

After 10 years he decides that he has got her out of his system and he should be good to face her. First time he meets Sumo he realizes that he still has feelings for her and so tells her to move on. He feels with distance he would be safe from more hurt.

But, when she actually did try to move on he was royally cheesed off. It irked Shravan that Sumo did not put the teeka on him. He refused to let her sister apply it on him. He is also waiting for her in the pooja. First he tells her to move on and he decides to not move on at all. This mixed signal irked Sumo and led to that outburst. She was right in calling him a coward, cause had he faced her in the past or present they would not be where they are today. I am sure what Shravan saw is not what happened and he knows only one side of the story.

The ladies charmer cant let the insult slide. Not because of his self respect... cause if you respect yourself enough, you wont fight wars over petty issues and would obviously let it slide. The fact that these accusations were true and that they actually came from Sumo did rankle Shravan. So he decides to stay back and prove something to Sumo.

He will succeed in hurting Sumo. But he will also succeed in being very possessive and jealous. He is gentleman enough to not insult her blatantly or crassly. He will flaunt his wealth and good looks at her and introduce his beautiful girl friend to her. Pushkar, will see that his bro has moved on and would try to woo Suman.

And hell hath no fury like a Shravan scorned


Edited by Chessy - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
#8
Nice post... The discussion of ego and self respect is what making this Forum more interesting These days...
@chessy
Guys I think there are many in this forum expecting pushkar will woo suman... Somewhere in my heart I have the same feeling..
mineforever thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
Amazing post 👏
U have summarized the current situation perfectly.. 👍🏼
This is the fight of their egos and both don't want to bend down..
-Shilpaa- thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10
OMG! Whatever happens, I don't want a love triangle or rectangle; leastof all with Pushkar being the third wheel. I'd hate to hate him🤔
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