Eight days. That was how long it took for Omkara Singh Oberoi to realise how empty his life seemed without Gauri Kumari Sharma. Correction; Mrs. Gauri Omkara Singh Oberoi. It was true that he was still hurt from those lies that she spoke. She did the one thing he had always hated; she lied. She played with his emotions; she caused him terrible pain, guilt and anger over something that had never happened, in the first place. But it was his Daadi that spoke some sense into him, when she had found her grandson sitting in the corner of his studio, surrounded by the broken remains of his sculptures, that once adorned his room; all sculptures, except the statue of Shankar ji; the one to which Gauri always offered her morning prayers; the very same one which she, as chulbul, had stopped him from breaking, after a horrible argument with his father. His Daadi had simply hugged him, and he had broken down in her arms, crying aloud.
"Ussne jo kuch bhi kiya, sirf tere liye kiya, Om.", his Daadi pointed out while caressing her favourite grandson's hair and patting his back, as he sobbed with his head in her lap. "Uska tareeka galat tha, lekin iraada nek tha. Hum sab jaante hain ke sacch teri taakat hai. Lekin puttar, sacch teri kamzori bhi hai." With a sad smile at the distant memory, he recalled the time he had had this same discussion with his Daadi in the garden of the Oberoi mansion. Daadi patted his shoulders in a comforting manner, and continued speaking, "Tujhe yaad hai uss din maine kya kaha tha? Ke sone mein milavat se hi zevar banta hai. Omkara, teri patni woh zevar hai, jo tere zindagi ke aangan ko sajaati hai. Haan maana ke ussey galti ho gayi aur uss galti se tujhe bahut tehz pahuncha hai, lekin puttar, yeh soch ke iss jhoot se humein woh sacch pata chala hai jo pichle kayee saalon se humein khabar hi nahi thi. Teri Dolly Bua ke asli iraade hum sab ke saamne lane ke liye, Gauri ne apni jaan tak ki parvah nahi ki."
Omkara knew his Daadi had made a valid point. "Omkara, yeh tu hi kehta tha na, ke harr kahani ke do hisse hote hain, do nazariye hote hain. Toh tu bhi Gauri ke nazariye se dekhne ki koshish kar de na. Zara soch ke dekho ke tujhse jhoot bolte waqt usse bhi kitni taqleef hui hogi, usey kitna dard hua hoga." "Aap kya chahti hain, Daadi?" Omkara said with a heavy heart, "Itna bada jhoot bhulana aasaan nahi hai." "Aur apne zindagi ka pyaar bhulana aasaan hai?" His daadi counter-argued. His strongest choice of weapon for a comeback- his words, deserted him at the question. The old lady could only shake her head at her little one's ignorance, "Omkara, ab yeh tujhe thay karna hai ke tera pyaar bada, ya teri zidd badi. Lekin meri baat yaad rakh: agar sirf zakhm ko yaad karte rahoge, toh pyar bhi sirf dard se hi karoge" Daadi had beaten his stubbornness with his own words. It had taken a while, but he had come to realise two things. One, that he could never love another person in this lifetime, as much as he loved Gauri. And two, that she was as flawed and weak as him, and just like him, she always prioritized relationships; the only difference between them was that she was willing to bend her fundamental principles and rules for the sake of the ones she loved. And after these many days of emptiness, he finally realised that she wasn't wrong and he wasn't right; they were both very different from each other and he had to respect the differences. He acknowledged that his tiny-yet-dabangg wife, whom he had loved and continued to love despite all those lies, had painted the white canvas of his life with bright, vibrant colours. And when she left, she took all those colours with her, leaving him more pale and lifeless than when she had found him first. And thus, after eight long days of sobbing, mourning, throwing things around, being moody, grumpy, picky, stubborn, hurt and ignorant, he understood one thing: he had to bring his wife back. As he had made up his mind and announced his decision to his two brothers, Rudra hugged him tightly and smashed a kiss on his cheek in spite of protests, in gratitude for deciding to bring his chulbul bhabhi back. While Shivaay only patted his back and said, "Finally, Tujhe Ishq pe ho hi gaya yakeen, Ishq ho jaane ke baad" at which Om only grinned.
Sitting inside the SUV behind the tinted glass, he took his sunshades off to have a clearer view of her. What had she done to herself? Gone were the bright, summery colours of clothes she once wore. Gone was the life in her eyes. There was no dance of joy in every step she took. No more chatter. In short, his Gauri wasn't there anymore. The woman whom he saw only looked like his Gauri. Eight days had changed her whole being. Her eyes were red-rimmed, sans the kohl that defined the shape of her eyes. Each step of hers seemed forced and heavy. Although there were a few kids around her, coaxing her to join them for something that seemed fun, she shook her head without a word, politely refusing them and leaving them sad. There was no smile on her lips, and she seemed to be lost in some thought. He felt a sharp pain stinging in his chest. She had hurt him, but he had caused her pain too; he had broken her too, without understanding why she did what she had to do. And it was time to mend what was broken.
Gauri was dead from within, figuratively. She felt nothing. It was as if, when she had left her husband and her family behind at Oberoi Mansion, she had ripped open her chest and left her beating heart behind too. No doubt, she missed him terribly. There were times when she would imagine his voice calling out to her, and much to her disappointment, she would realise it was just a dream. But she also began to realise that he was never coming back to her. He had asked her to leave his life, and she had done just that. Even if it had sliced her heart to pieces to do something that was the hardest thing to do, she had done it for him- the one she loved from heart, mind, body and soul. And in her heart, she never blamed him once. In fact, she kept blaming herself for all the mess that had been created. She was the one who stepped on the axe, and now she couldn't blame anyone else for the deep bleeding cuts on her foot. Yet, her foolish heart refused to break ties with him. She still wore the bright red vermillion on her forehead; she still wore the black beaded mangalsutra faithfully. She still called herself as Mrs. Omkara Singh Oberoi. And in return, she wanted nothing but his happiness. Even when she prayed to Shankar ji, she prayed for her husband to be happy and healthy; she prayed for his share of troubles to be given to her, and her share of happiness to be given to him. And somewhere, in the deepest crevices of her heart, she prayed that he would know how much she loved him. She wished he would look past those lies she told him, and understand the love and devotion she had for him. And with each sunset, her hopes of reuniting with him would dash. Yet with every sunrise, her silly heart would hope again.
But today was different because today, Gauri sensed his presence; he had to be around. As if sensing his gaze on her, she turned to the direction which her sixth sense indicated and saw him getting out from his car. Her heart skipped a few beats and her steps faltered. What was he doing here anyway? He had the usual unreadable expressions, and she felt the whole world spinning around her when he finally stopped in front of her, at a distance of few feet from her. "Omkara ji..." she whispered his name; a name that sounded like a prayer. It sounded like music to his ears. "Kaisi ho?" he asked her, without taking off his sunshades. She nodded, not knowing what to say, wondering if he was blind to see her pain written so evidently on her face. "Mujhe tumse baat karni hai" he said in a low voice. His voice was unusually different, as if there was some aching, some longing in it; she chose not to dwell on that thought. She was never the one to refuse him anything, and so she agreed to have a conversation. She knew what was coming. He had probably come to her to ask for freedom; freedom from the dead relationship that they shared; freedom from the relationship that tied him to her against his will; a relationship that would free him, at a price of crippling her heart and soul forever. These thoughts brought a dull ache in her body, which began at the pit of her stomach and spread throughout her body. She released a shuddering breath trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She was sure she didn't have any left and was completely dehydrated by crying over the last eight days, but apparently she was wrong from the burning that prickled her eyes. However, she wouldn't break apart; at least not in front of him.
Omkara looked around as she lead him to the farthest house at the end of the lane, and studied the surrounding where she was brought up. It was crowded, noisy and full of people, unlike the way he was brought up- lonely even in a crowd. "Andar aaeye" she told him, breaking his train of thoughts, and walked into her house. She asked him to be seated, and rushed to the kitchen under the pretext of preparing tea. The truth was that she couldn't look into his eyes when he took his sunshades off, because she saw his eyes, red and swollen, and something akin to repentance. And she did not want her heart to believe what she saw there because in the end, no matter what, it was her heart that would be broken apart when she would be proved wrong. Omkara too did not stop her from running away from him. He knew that he too wouldn't be able to say anything when she looked at him in his eyes.
"Akeli rehti ho?" he asked standing at the threshold of the kitchen, wondering about her mother's whereabouts. "Haan" came the reply, which annoyed him a little when she showed lack of interest to talk. "Aur tumhari Maa?" he asked. After adding two spoons of tea powder into the boiling water, and a brief silence, she spoke, "Abhi bhi hospital mein hai." Nodding at her reply, he asked, "Tumhare chacha aur chachi?" "Hamesha ke liye Pune chale gaye". Adding milk and sugar to the vessel, she poured the tea into glasses and offered him one, to which he muttered a thank you.
Minutes passed by, yet they didn't speak a word. She was used to his silence, whereas he was beginning to get a bit uneasy with hers. Finally, after a while, she said, "Aap kyun aaye hain yahan, Omkara ji?" He placed the glass on the tiny table and turned to look at her, "Tumhe ghar wapis lene ke liye" His curt answer left her shocked. She had expected him to break their relationship, and here he was, asking her to come back with him. "Kyun?" she asked a simple question. That simple question had bothered him for days, and he hadn't found the answer, yet. He just knew that he wanted her with him; he needed her in his life. "Harr kyun ka jawaab nahi hota, Gauri."
An unknown sadness crept up her heart. He wanted her to come back, yet did not give her a reason for her to go with him. And he confused her even more when she asked him why he wanted her back. A thought struck her mind: Was he doing this due to some pressure by the family? Was he bringing her back only to save the honour of the Oberoi family? Questions after questions started forming in her mind, each more complicated than the earlier. And so she concluded that the bottom line was this: he didn't want her; he had said so himself countless times. And the last thing she wanted was for him to suffer in suffocation and silence by looking at her face which he hated the most. All the love and concern that had been showered on her in the past was something she hadn't deserved, and didn't have a right upon. He had loved her because she claimed she was the mother of his baby. He had cared for her when they had lost their baby; a baby that never existed. She looked at him, looking at her with an unreadable expression.
"Nahi" she heard herself tell him, "Hum aapke saath nahi aa sakte. Hum aapke saath nahi aayenge" Omkara took a minute to process what she had just spoken. "What?" he asked in a confused tone. "Humein aapke saath nahi aana; aap chale jaaiye yahan se" she said hurriedly, already on her toes, ready to run away from him. Just when she thought she had walked away from him, she felt the grip of his fingers on her wrist and he swiftly pulled her close to him. "Kyun nahi aana chahti ho?" he demanded an answer from her, holding her wrist behind her back. She holds her breath for a moment, reminiscing all those moments she had spent with him. His proximity reminds her of times when she craved for him. At once, as if a bucket of ice water was dropped on her, she recalls that she has now lost all the right to want him like she always wanted. Love is selfless, she heard. But no one had ever told her how painful it was. She had already made up her mind to let him go. And so, with a heavy breath she replied to him in his own words, "Harr kyun ka jawaab nahi hota, Omkara ji."
"Lekin mujhe jawaab chahiye." He said in a low growl. She looked at him, trying to blink back the tears that stung her eyes. "Kyunki hum aapke saath ab nahi rehna chahte, Omkara ji" Om's grip loosened on her wrist, and he took a step back while she slumped to the floor, finally letting out her bottled up emotions with her tears falling freely from her eyes. "Hum aapki nafrat aur nahi seh paayenge. Thak gaye hain hum aapki katohr baatein sunn sunn ke. Hum waapis bhi aayenge toh kya hoga? Phir se wohi ilzaam lagaenge aap, hum phir se koi safaai denge, aap phir humein galat samjhenge, aur hum phir aapko manaane ki koshish karte rahenge. Nahi Omkara ji. Ab aur nahi hoga humse. Jab aapko hum par bharosa hi nahi hai, toh hum kyun aayein aapke saath?" Omkara knelt on the floor, next to where Gauri was seated, and reached out to her by placing a hand on her shoulder. His touch broke her soul into pieces, and she cried to him, "Chale jaaiye Omkara ji. Humein hamare haal pe chod dijiye"
Omkara felt his heart squeeze in pain when he saw her crying down in such a broken manner. Every tear of hers caused him an unexplainable pain. He wanted to kiss away her pain and wipe away all her tears. "Aise kaise chod doon tumhe? Shaadi hui hai hamari" he blurted out in response with a shaky voice. Her bitter laugh felt like a tight slap on his face. "Aik aisi shaadi jisko aap maante bhi nahi." Pausing for a second, she continued in a sterner voice, "Kyun zidd kar rahe hain aap? Chale jaaiye yahaan se. Aur bhool jaaiye ke aapki zindagi ke kitaab mein Gauri naam ka ek panna bhi tha." Omkara's hand slipped away from her shoulder when he heard her. "Kya tum bhool paaogi ke tumhare zindagi mein Omkara naam ka koi tha?" His question unsettled her. She didn't have to think to know the answer. It was very simple- she could never forget him. He was her heartbeat, her pulse, her breath, her soul, the reason for her existence. How could she ever forget him? She just couldn't. But she wasn't going to admit that to him; she didn't want him to feel obliged to have her in his life. She did not want any more favours from him; he had done enough for her that she would never be able to repay him in her lifetime "Haan, bhool jaungi" came the contradictory reply from her lips.
Omkara's world came crashing down. He was sure she was lying to him. Was it so easy to forget someone who meant the world to you? She was his everything. Did he mean nothing to her? "Toh phir thik hai" Omkara said with an ache in his heart, and a voice that masked his emotions. If she wanted to forget him, he would make it happen, no matter how hard it was. She looked into his eyes, already dreading the words that would spill from his lips. He winced in pain as he said those harsh words, "Tod dete iss shaadi ko." Her heart felt icily numb in spite of anticipating what he was to say, but if he was better off without her, she would happily let him go. And so, without any argument on her behalf, she nodded a meek yes.
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