Why are women expected to do everything?

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Sun-Love

@Sun-Love

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

After observing Preeti's life I have just one question, why are women expected to do everything whether they want to or not. Why do women raise their sons like kings who can get away with being lazy and just about everything else under the roof. If anything I would expect women to raise their sons to respect women and walk hand in hand with their wives.

Examples:

1. Preeti comes home and finds out about the mata ki chowki. She is expected to take care of everything related to the event without being informed about it ahead of time.

2. Preeti asks her husband to get a new gas cylinder and he just talks away on his phone and gives an who cares type of attitude. Then he gets away with it. (I don't know if he actually got the cylinder later or if Preeti had to get it herself)

To me it seems like Preeti is the "Man" of the house in this relationship and does just about everything. Does her husband have a job? I've just seen him sleeping or lazing around all day so far. I haven't seen the MIL much yet, but it seems like she doesn't have a problem with her son being the way he is.

I don't live in India so I can't speak for how gender roles are really defined in society, but from what I've seen on TV or heard from others it seems like there is a huge gap between how men and women are treated and how they should act. Are we still living in a heavily male dominated society? Will this trend ever change?

To me it seems like almost everyone I meet preaches about gender equality and its importance but no one does anything to instill it in the newer generations. How can we expect to bring about change if we never take the first step?

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Sun-Love

@Sun-Love

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Posted: 11 years ago

I grew up in a Sikh family with strong Sikh values instilled in me. From as far back as I can remember the first lesson my mum and nanaji taught my brother and me was on gender equality and it's importance. We have been taught to respect both men and women, old and young. We always had the same freedoms and restrictions when growing up, my mum never differentiated between us for a single moment. This is one reason why I think most girls were so comfortable being around my brother when we were in school and universities because he respected them, like he was taught to. On the flip side that's why most boys avoided being around me because I never treated them to be superior to me and also because they didn't want to mess with my brother.

I'm proud to say that my Great-great-grandmother (on my mum's side) was the first person in our family who took a firm stand in educating both of her grandkids (boy and girl) so they could stand on their own feet. My nanaji, her grandson, instilled those same values in all of his children who then passed it along to our generation and we hope to do the same with our kids. The men in my family stood by the women and voiced their opinions when they were not allowed to. This helped in making the lives of these women easier and not just allowing them but sort of forcing them to get an education. If you come to one of our family reunions you can see that we have more educated women than men, and some of the most supportive husbands, brothers, grandfathers, sons, and men you will ever find in one family.

PS when I talk about my family I'm just referring to my mum's side

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kavmuks

@kavmuks

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Though it may sound very awkward but my opinion is that our Indian mother specially raise their sons in a manner that they envelop low or no respect for household jobs. (Pls do not generalize my comment).

From reasonable age till they get married they don't wash their undies, they don't make their bed, they don't take water before they sit to have food.. they don't keep their plates in sink, they never fold their clothes, never clean their room, never help mother to do left overs of their own friends .. and so on.. and then later same men when they marry their wives raise their sons also in same manner.. so the cycle never breaks .. and some of them grow so indifferent to their home that their eve sickness of the women at home also does not bother them from emending their comforts.. so basically men are selfish when it comes to their rest, comfort …

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Sun-Love

@Sun-Love

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: kavmuks
Though it may sound very awkward but my opinion is that our Indian mother specially raise their sons in a manner that they envelop low or no respect for household jobs. (Pls do not generalize my comment).

From reasonable age till they get married they don't wash their undies, they don't make their bed, they don't take water before they sit to have food.. they don't keep their plates in sink, they never fold their clothes, never clean their room, never help mother to do left overs of their own friends .. and so on.. and then later same men when they marry their wives raise their sons also in same manner.. so the cycle never breaks .. and some of them grow so indifferent to their home that their eve sickness of the women at home also does not bother them from emending their comforts.. so basically men are selfish when it comes to their rest, comfort '

That's the question I have. I have seen some women who get irritated by their husband's laziness and the fact that he doesn't do any of the things you mentioned and despite seeing this they still don't teach their sons, this just goes over my head. Why don't the women who have seen their father, brothers, and husband do this, change it? I guess I just don't understand the logic behind why women do this.

@Abhay Deol, I don't understand why women do certain things either and I'm a woman.😆

Do other women have difficulty understand other women, or is it just me?

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Krani

@Krani

Dazzler

+ 9

Posted: 11 years ago

That is one question I've always wanted to know!

Thankfully ever since we shifted to Australia and having no servants here or anything - my Dad and brother help out with the chores of the house.

I hate the fact that the girl is to help out in the kitchen, or serve the food when guests arrive.

Hopefully when I'll have my children, I'll try to keep these gender differences to an absolute minimum.

I would also like to point out that my family is way better than some other families I have seen where sexism is really obvious. Some examples include:

1) It's okay for the man to drink, and get drunk, but not okay for the woman to do so.

2) When guests arrive, the woman is to be in the kitchen, serving around food, helping lay out the dishes, do the dishes afterwards etc

3) Cleaning, mostly women do

4) Okay for boys to have girlfriends, but not okay for girls to have boyfriends.

These are just a handful of things I see around me.

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Faytazz

@Faytazz

Beginner

Posted: 11 years ago

I am fortunate to have a husband who helps out in the kitchen whenever needed.Also shares responsibility of my son with the morning routine etc.Even he was spoilt by his mom, but somewhere he believed that men and women are equal partners...so when we were pregnant and he used to say WE are pregnant, his friends used to be like" tu deliver karega kya" and chubby always answered" yes am an equal party to it" he was holding my hand in the OT as well. We will imbibe the same in my son

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