The Dowry Issue - Page 3

Originally posted by: Didikisaut

Hola La🤗 It has been light years...

I am fit enough to bash...😛

where were you??Nice to see you getting active on this forum..😊

Originally posted by: Amethyst.

You know that scene where Chhanchhan said all those things about "changing the mindset" of the society and Uma Ben shows her the hand?[Reminds me of *ahem* someone from Aparticular show 😆 ]

It might seem weird but that is exactly what happens when I try to say something like that.Being a teenager,half of what I say is taken as idealism and not practical in the real world.I remember listening to an incident related to a family we know.The daughter left her In-laws-home and came back home.I don't know if it was dowry or some other reason because which she was not happy.But from what I saw,everyone was ready to talk about how she would bring shame to the family and that she should not have left home and it was so embarrassing.

My question was,that if she was not happy then why don't you ASK her the reason?Why would any parent send her back despite knowing she came back unhappy?Most of the times girls don't come back home because they think it will bring shame to the family or they won't ever get married because of a "broken wedding". Unless and until the parents themselves stop caring about what society will say,things won't change.

I obviously said all that,but my suggestions were put down by a "You don't know anything about the world" :|

I am really glad too that Purvi's father showed such maturity in handling the matter.A progressive step indeed :)

Originally posted by: canuck-umz

I think there is no question, the girl may have had to endure it like their friend did in the flashback scenes.

The father did what he did because he felt indebted to Umaben for I guess giving him work or whatever she and her husband did for him. UmaBen also seems to have a way with words, she is persuasive without looking bad. She puts on this innocent faccade, so she does not look bad or otherwise acts as if it is her right, whatever it is she does. Same with the ex in laws to be, they had used the whole reverse psychology tactic (UmaBen is a master at this isn't she?).

Originally posted by: Miss Cherie

Wasn't it her sis in the flashback scenes😕

Yeah, absolutely! Uma Ben is a master at reverse psychology. I wish I were as good at her in that.🤔

I like her line "Bhagwan sabka bhala kare, lekin shuruwat humse kare."

She seems to be a little self-centred as well.😛

Originally posted by: princessunara

completely agree to everything all of u have said. I don't live in India.. but in my country too dowry is a tradition..but the difference is as far as i know for the history of the country not a single girl has died for this issue..ya probably in some distant past unless u brought something when u came u would hear a lot of 'hinting' from the MIL and SILs. some derogatory words...but it stopped at that...

but right now thankfully in upper middle class families dowry is the girl's education..Ok if parents have a lot of stuff like lands and etc the girl is given them.. but the difference is our dowry is given to the girl. It is legally her inheritance from her family, like her half of property just like her brothers get..It is hers to do as she pleases..In laws have no say over what she does with the things she has been given by her parents..Here dowry is not demanded (cz it simply cannot be demanded), it is given.. I think that is actually a nice way to go on a middle path right?

cz demanding dowry is like saying the girl herself has no value and to take her in we pay money!

Reminds me of Devdas movie..where Paro's mother says to Dev's mother, 'Yes we give our daughters and take money. But you take our daughter as well as money'

I am completely impressed with the message that was given loud and clear 'I WILL NOT GO TO A HOME WHERE THEY ASK FOR DOWRY' as well as 'I WILL NOT LET MY DAUGHTER GO TO A HOME WHERE DOWRY IS ASKED FOR'

well done!! I don't think I have seen this turn of evens in any other show!👏

they didn't focus on what the society will think, cz in the end when u have to light the funeral pyre of your daughter that society will not be bringing your daughter back to life...

And that was the only thing that father thought!

If parents love their daughters then this is what should be done!

Originally posted by: Didikisaut

Who doesn't like easy money???😛

Some hope to strike gold via lottery, gambling, betting or any other medium..sadly Dowry is also one such source. Greed sets in at a later stage leading to more demands and if the requests are not met it will lead to abuse & harassment..

At the end of the day a right decision was made or Purvi would have suffered a disastrous future..

Originally posted by: Frida

Nice post!!

I would also like to point out that sometimes this dowry custom is renamed as gifts to the groom's family (& also extended family). In my culture, when the wedding dates are fixed, groom's family gives a list of not only just their family members but also their close extended family members to the bride's parents. Then the girls' parents will follow & present a gift to everyone during the event. Also, it is expected to gift gold to groom's mother & sisters.. This tradition is a headache for the middle class & the lower middle class families. Parents often have to take a loan or sell their assests to get their daughters married. The scenario gets worst when they have more than 1 daughter..

And, this doesn't stop at the wedding but continues when the girl gets pregnant, followed by the birth of her children & 1st b'day of her children - every ocassion earns gifts/dowry to the groom's/guy's family.

This whole thing is getting ridiculous. I think we are getting modern only by wearing western clothes, singing english songs, watching American sitcoms & eating Italian cuisine. However, when it comes to making a difference, we would like to follow the age-old Indian rituals.

OMG, that was a long rant.. Sorry I went off-topic & didn't even answer your qns..

Originally posted by: SimplyPriceless

Very nice post I think the reason why this whole Dowry thing is being giving so much importance I fair Uma Ben might want to take Dowry when she will have no choice but to accept ChanChan for her son sakes.