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Dancing is like dreaming with your feet.
Being a dancer he had heard this quote a few times in his life but had never been able to unleash its meaning in its fullest sense, until now.
She was dancing on the stage. Her every step represented her world, her every stance a glimpse of her dreams, her every expression reflecting happiness, she danced a journey, a journey to her world, the world where she was free, where she was herself, where people don't hurt her and where she allowed herself to be Sharon.
The song ended and the mass burst into applauses. The applauses which meant so much to her right now, every applause working as bricks in rebuilding the wall of her confidence again. For them their journey to her world had ended with the song but for Swayam it always began afterwards.
Her eyes moved in the humongous crowd till it reached his face standing in the first line, just for a second, just for the affirmation that he was there and then drifted back to the crowd again. He smiled to himself at her bootless flings. He wondered if he would ever be able to make her understand that she was never quick enough for him when it came to hiding her emotions.
In that one glance he had read all her feelings.
He moved back making his way through the deafening crowd, strolling through the exit gates, past the noise of the event and the deserted resort till he reached silence. The kind of silence where you could own yourself without any barriers. The quietness holds you from abandoning yourself even for a second.
He bore his fingers deep into the sand and allowed his hand to move in any way they wanted. He smiled sadly when he read what he had written
Sharon.
He kept staring at it without any thought till a tear drop fell from his eyes. He wiped it gently and stared at the mass of blue erupting in the sky, a blue that was bluer than blue but it felt as empty as his heart.
"I won!" The voice seemed to wash off all the emptiness growing inside him. She was like the wave which if violent can destroy your existence and if gentle leaves shells for you on the shore. Her words told him she was leaving him with shells tonight. He didn't turn. There was no need of it now. His work was done. He was the need of the hour and that hour was gone. She was mended.
She moved towards him, probably to say something but stopped as she saw the name engraved on the sand. Her name. Sharon.
Her abrupt silence made him realize the cause of it. He didn't need to look at her to read the surprise in her eyes but yet he couldn't hold himself back in the moment.
He looked at her as she stared at him, none daring to break the silence. They both knew it will annihilate if they talked anything about it.
"I thought you liked to see me winning." She said trying not to give away her position at his absence during her winning moment.
"I just like to see you dance." He stated it so simply that she couldn't help herself but question how everything became so easy around him. How she didn't need to chase perfection to be perfect for him.
There was no conversation after that. They stood beside each other facing the sun which had started to set slowly leaving its redness behind in the sky.
She watched the tide diving for Swayam as he moved ahead to take its blow. It was after when it had left him wet and cold that she realized he had gone ahead to save her engraved name in the sand from washing away. Swayam's wet figure in front of her standing between the sea and her engraved name made her realize she was so much like the tide trying eat Sharon away all the time, trying to suppress her off within herself but then there was Swayam always standing between in her way protecting Sharon taking in all her scorns, humiliation and wrath.
It was the moment when she should be running away before her heart start comprehending him and all the things related to him in the way she hated, in the way which always leave her in a mess later but she realized she was a mess anyway and if she had to be one she would prefer being a mess of this kind.
"You want to come with me into the waters?" He turned and asked her, without any hope or insistence in his voice.
Did she want to go with him into the waters? She asked herself, but as boldly as she had asked the question it scared her beyond that to answer it.
"No! I am alright here. The water is dirty." She cursed herself for putting up her defense in a moment like this and putting it up so badly.
He stared at her and even though there was not enough light she felt herself melting under his gaze. For a strange reason it brought back the memories of the abandoned corridor
"This book is shut till you open it." His words echoed in her mind as she saw him turning ahead walking towards the waters.
She watched the waves hit the shores fiercely leaving small cracks on it retreating back and then coming again to it. It felt like an objectification of her and Swayam. She could see herself in the waves, as it hit the shores with all its force, she imagined her doing the same to Swayam and he just like the shore accepting all that she had to offer with the same grace. He broke himself but protected her from becoming a maddening destructible storm. She withdrew herself from him but in the times of need she couldn't help but look out for him and she found him standing for her always.
She stared at his figure walking slowly from the shoreline to the deep waters and she felt like it wasn't just the waters ghe was stepping deep into, it was also her heart, it was opening with his every step into it. It was scary but it was inevitable. She smiled contented and happy for odd reasons. Staring at the name engraved in sand meshing slowly in the waves she knew it was going be a long journey and she was going to be extremely difficult but she hoped that Swayam doesn't give up on her.
And maybe just maybe there will come a day when she would choose not to kill him but complete him .
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