Chapter 9
Blood has to be completely drained from your body for you to feel the effects of purification. Your face may change to a ghostly white colour, you may feel lifeless and alone, but if you survive the ordeal at present then you're completely renewed for tomorrow. Swayam had felt as if his blood was leaving his body slowly drop by drop. He was physically okay, steadily regaining emotional stability, but he was loosing a part of himself as every second went by as well. He explained everything to Rishi about how the delivery was 5 weeks early and his daughter was bron premature. Rishi was trembling with worry for Sharon as she had become a second child for him too, but he worried just as much for Swayam who was on the verge of breaking down again, which probably pained him even more. The haemorrhaging was difficult to understand for Swayam because from what ever he knew of the delivery, or from the little knowledge he gained from reading books he knew it shouldn't have happened.
They were both waiting with worry for any news on Sharon in the waiting room when finally Swayam saw Dr Maya walk towards him. He got up and practically ran towards her, "Dr, how is she? Please tell me she is okay?"
Dr Maya didn't waste any time either, "Swayam listen to me carefully okay. Your daughter is going to be kept in an incubator where we will keep her for observation possibly for a few weeks. She is a strong little girl but because she is premature it has effected on her organ development. As for Sharon we are currently facing a problem." Swayam went pale in the face with Dr Maya's words, completely ignoring the information about his daughter. "Sharon needs more blood Swayam, and she is type O negative. Our blood bank is currently very low on O negative and it will take us some time to call other blood banks, so if you know anyone who is available in her family that is O negative, and if we can have them donate immediately?"
Swayam almost cried in pain at first, but then thanked God at the same time. "me and my father are both O negative doctor. You can use both of us." Rishi placed a hand on Swayam's shoulder in reassurance.
The doctor smiled in relief, "Aren't you a lucky couple then, we will only need your's Swayam, and then in case we need more we have your father as well." Swayam nervously whipped away the sweat on his forehead.
Dr Maya was about to get the nurse while Swayam was trying to fight the urge to ask her more information, he couldn't help but question the reason for all that was happening, "Dr?" She turned to see him go pale once again, "Dr how did this happen? I thought her delivery was going fine?"
Dr Maya frowned and walked back towards him, "Swayam, didn't Sharon ever tell you?"
Swayam was confused, "tell me what doctor?"
Dr Maya pressed her lips as if she was almost cursing at the unfortunate situation, "I know I am not her regular gynaecologist but this is something you should have discussed with Dr Shaneen. Sharon was well informed that she had a high-risk pregnancy Swayam. There was a large chance that something like this could have happened. Did she never discuss any of this before with you?"
And there stood Swayam once again; dumbstruck that he didn't even know the gravity of the decisions his wife had already taken upon herself, and not once thought that her husband needed to know.
He just nodded looking down, and then she understood his position.
"Look Swayam we need to concentrate on the present and save her life. I'll call the nurses to prep you up so you can donate the blood."
She walked away with sympathy in her eyes and heart.
Swayam had donated his blood but he still hadn't gone to see his daughter, he didn't know why but his heart was confused. He almost did blame her for Sharon's condition, but he didn't know why because there was a huge part of this that he blamed solely himself for. He knew he was more to blame than anyone else after all he had gotten her pregnant, and that too under the cruellest of circumstances. More over her family had abandoned her right after as well. All this was really only his fault. He cradled his head with his elbows on his knees, not realising that Rey and Kriya were running towards him. They saw him severely distressed and immediately directed all their questions at Rishi.
After knowing everything they sat next to Swayam and Rey pulled him into a tight hug, and as Rey expected Swayam broke down all over again in his arms. Rey could feel his pain and guilt pouring through, and it hurt him much more.
"Bas ab chup ho ja Swayam. You need to be strong for her, she will survive this yaar."
Swayam didn't know anymore, not after finding out about her high-risk pregnancy, he was probably more disturbed than ever. But at that moment he made a promise to himself, he knew he couldn't loose her now, not at any cost. After this ordeal he wouldn't let her go anywhere far away from him, he would love her like a true husband and not an arrogant bas***d that he had become in bitterness. He wanted to, and needed to show her that he had started to fall for her deep, and now all he wanted to do was love her more than anything else in the world. Seeing Sharon in front of him, and living in his family made him so happy, something he never had openly admitted out loud. He wasn't going to back off now.
Rey, Kriya and Rishi all went together to see Swayam's little girl, but Swayam refused to leave his seat, he wanted to wait outside the operating theatre for Sharon. He kept mumbling her name as if it was a prayer in itself, and as he continued to recite it Dr Maya finally came outside.
"Swayam," she smiled lightly.
"Dr please just tell me some good news." Swayam begged in front of her.
"She is stable Swayam, she will wake up in a few hours but she will have to be very careful since we had to stich her up. I am sure once she wakes up we can talk in detail about her recovery plan, but for now I think you should go sit next to her." She finished with a smile and patted his shoulder before turning away. Swayam simply closed his eyes and thanked God.
Dr Maya turned back and spoke once again, "be at your wife's side Swayam. I have seen so many husbands come with their wives but trust me only a handful have behaved in the delivery room like you did today. If only women in our world had that same sense of support you gave Sharon today our world would appreciate the meaning of giving life." As much as that comment was supposed to be compliment, it only made Swayam feel far guiltier of everything he had done by this point to Sharon. That pain stung more than anything.
Swayam walked into the room, and all he saw was an unconscious Sharon lying on the bed. He sat down on the chair next to her bed and intertwined his fingers with her lifeless ones. He just held onto them so he could wait for her to eventualy flutter her eyelids. He forgot that his father might have come into the room, or even that Rey and Kriya were there behind him, he just silently and patiently held onto her hand and waited for her. The hours had passed by and night had eventually come, Rey and Kriya told Rishi to go home while they stayed to look after both Swayam and Sharon. Swayam had refused to eat or drink anything the entire day, and it didn't help Rishi's worry at all. Rey assured Rishi that he would take care of him and make sure he started to behave normally. Eventually as they moved out of the room to take care of other formalities Swayam was once again left alone with Sharon. And only then did he feel her fingers move. And slowly as if sleeping beauty was awakening she came back to life almost in the most surreal of ways, her eyelids fluttered and then slowly her arms started to move.
As Sharon woke up she felt a strong uneasiness in her throat as she realised that it was terribly dry, it hurt because it was that dry, uttering the her first word to be 'water.'
Swayam could hear her struggle and allowed himself to come back to life within seconds with her in that moment, he jumped to get to the jug and poured her some water immediately. He placed it carefully next to her lips, tilting the glass and her head so the water would reach her throat to relieve the dryness. Her speech started to become clearer, and then she started regaining her memory. Her hand automatically reached out protectively to her stomach, "my baby," she whispered in fear.
Swayam held one hand to her forehead and the other onto her hand trying to clasp her stomach. "She's okay, she is premature so her lungs are a little underdeveloped. They have kept her in the incubator for monitoring." His eyes did not move from her scared ones, and her heart raced in fear.
"I want to see her Swayam," she cried out.
"Not now Sharon, do you realise how much you scared me," he said rubbing his thumb over her forehead, and nearing his face to her scared one.
"I need to get to her her Swayam, I need to get up," she tried and miserably failed. It hurt too much getting up. Her legs were almost numb until she herself erupted them into a sharp pain all the way up her spine. She screeched in pain and Swayam held her down with his arms, not willing to let her move even an inch.
"Sharon you scared me," he brought his hands to cup her face so she would only look at him. "You scared me," he whispered again.
Sharon's eyes saw so much fear in his eyes that it scared her; she didn't understand why she mattered to him. She didn't understand why and how he could pretend to love her but then also sleep with Ruhi at the same time. But that's what she also realised, he was only pretending. This was all pretend for him and she knew she couldn't take it anymore because even after all he had done to her, she had fallen too deep for him. Her dream was a sign bold and clear that she was in love with Swayam Shekhawat. She craved his touch, his kiss, his scent and even a little of his dominating passion. He just knew how to make her feel like a woman; the only problem was that he could make so many others feel just like it to. Swayam had become from a want to a need so desperately that she was ashamed of herself, but she just couldn't help it that she had fallen for a ruthless man that merely had a glimpse of her old Swayam.
She ignored the pain and lifted her gaze to meet his again, "you can stop pretending now Swayam. My heart can't take it anymore, we have a daughter now," she paused to take a breath and gather more strength. "And as soon as she is well enough we should move our separate ways." She almost said it so monotonously that it was assumed knowledge.
Swayam cupped her face tighter, and then pushed himself further so that he was almost lying on top of her. His face was strained as he bore into her eyes aggressively, and then he spoke with a more assertive voice "you scared me Sharon."
As if he was in a trance that only saw a world where just Sharon existed.
And it was starting to scare her; he wasn't just behaving in concern but more likely in obsession.
"Swayam, just stop worrying about me," she said in defeat.
But his look didn't change at all; it just became darker and angrier.
"Why didn't you ever tell me that your pregnancy was high-risk?"
Swayam put it bluntly finally changing his dialogue.
"Why would you care?" Sharon hissed.
But Swayam didn't give up; "I came with you to your appointments, why didn't the doctor ever warn me? Why did you go through with this knowing this could happen? Knowing you could die?"
Sharon stuck to her guns, "why do you care Swayam?"
It was battle that really had no end.
Swayam was so close that he could almost be seen as if he was kissing her, "because I'm your bloody HUSBAND."
Sharon's eyes widened but that didn't let her stop from saying anything, "and what good would a husband do for me? What sort of a husband are you anyway? One that rubs sindoor into my forehead and tells me that he is waiting for our child, or the one that sleeps with Ruhi whenever he gets bored of impregnating other women."
Swayam was seething with anger; he would have slapped her so hard for her baseless comment, but he chose to restrain himself. He calmed himself within the same proximity she had uttered those words.
"My relationship with Ruhi is none of your bloody business, it existed before we were married so don't question my faithfulness to you. I may have given you space to adjust to our life but by no means was that opportunity for you to start thinking that I am cheating on you. She holds a very special place in my heart and she always will, unfortunately all thanks to you, but don't you dare blame me of infidelity."
His words were cut clear, and her heard and heart ached in return. "I saw the video Swayam don't lie to me now."
Swayam was confused as to what video she was talking about, and for a moment he had no idea until it hit him hard because then he knew waht she actually was talking about. Ruhi had sent him a sex video of himself and her a few days ago, because she did want to continue some sort of a relationship with him, and that video was meant to be a reminder of the times they shared with each other. But what Sharon didn't read were the messages beneath that video, where he had said that he wasn't comfortable going through such a relationship anymore. And that hurt Ruhi, but she still understood. But listening to Sharon's allegation was a knife in his heart.
"If you had seen the video Sharon at least you should have bothered to read the messages after it. Agar itni himat thi mere phone ko dekhne me, kam se kam thodi akal toh istimal karleti." He hissed in anger.
She didn't know what to think, but the bitter truth was that Swayam may have been a lot of things, but definitely not a liar. His words rung in her ears forcing her to close her eyes for the sake of peace, his gaze was too piercing and disturbing for her soul. It was comforting to know that at least he was faithful, but what did this mean? Did this mean he wasn't letting her go anymore? Did this mean he loved her like a loving husband? Did this mean that their relationship and marriage meant something?
"What am I to you Swayam?" She asked with her eyes still closed, and sincere with fear of finding out.
Swayam lowered himself further and meshed his forehead onto hers, "I'm the only person that truly loves you for who you are Sharon, for your mistakes as well as your hidden sacrifices. Why didn't you tell me about the risk with your pregnancy? Why Sharon? Why?" He pleaded with her.
He wanted her to answer him truthfully, and maybe sincerely.
She tried to remain calm, "If worst came to worst you would have a daughter, but I never had anyone to begin with." Her eyes never opened but she could feel his presence merging into hers.
"Open your eyes Sharon. You always had me in front of you, you just never bothered to see me before."
Her heart had started to melt, and all she could think was that this couldn't be happening. He couldn't be offering her his world, not now?
And then she finally did open her eyes, but disappointed to see an empty space. There was no one in front of her, she turned to her side to see if anyone was there, but she came to disappointment because there was no one. As if her heart was begging for him and she just didn't have the strength to carry on she frantically started to look around her room. But there was no one.
Just outside Sharon's hospital room was a middle age couple crying hysterically in front of a shocked Swayam. Gautam and Mira Rai-Parkash were begging to see their daughter upon being called by one of the doctors who was a close family friend that had informed them of Sharon's critical condition. Swayam was dumbstruck and standing outside her room as they continued to beg for his forgiveness, and one chance to see their daughter so they could beg from her as well. Realising that they had left their daughter at the door of death killed them both, and they knew immediately they had to mend broken relationships before it was to late. Especially the ones that mattered most in their life's entire existence. They had both realised that Swayam was not just any other man they had known in their professional world, but he was also the man that had married their daughter when they had themselves thrown her onto the streets. They knew they needed to seek Swayam's permission to see their daughter because these were rights they had willingly lost themselves.
But Swayam's heart broke knowing they had well and truly realised their mistake, and because hadn't he realised his mistake as well? Who was he to stop them from seeing their daughter when he was the one who put her there in the first place.
"Aap please royiee mat. Aap mujhse badhe hain, mere mumma papa hain, to please mujhse mat koi permission na lai. Sharon pehle aapki beti hai aur phir meri biwi. Agar aap caahe to aap use apne ghar bhi le jaa sakte hain. Usse is time sabse zadaa aapki zarurat hai." And with that Swayam left them to see their daughter, while he knew it was time that he saw his own. His own blood.
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