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Trigger Warning: Adult language and graphic situations persists.
Chapter 8
Fire and ice both have the ability create burns, they both may fall on the extreme end of the temperature scale, but their damage is equality painful and harmful. Sharon ever since the day Ruhi had come over to their, or wait Swayam's house couldn't help but think of her and Swayam's relationship. She tried shoving the pain, she tried burying it deep inside but she couldn't get ever get it to rest. She knew Ruhi was the one satisfying him and his needs, as they were married only in name. They were having a child but that never changed anything for them, at least not for Swayam.
Sharon felt like she was the trapped mistress living at his house, and only for his convenience. Time had gone by and she had come to so many breaking points where she didn't even know how she would deal with the comming future, but she knew had to battle on. Swayam simply ignored or pretended that nothing was wrong between him and Sharon, but that never meant he treated her like a wife, he couldn't bring himself to. He treated her like another acquaintance at best. But to Sharon's displeasure she didn't have anyone's support. Her own mother never bothered to contact her, her family had given up on her once they told her to leave her own house, and usually is the breaking point for anyone. She didn't really have a husband to whinge about her midnight cravings, or even ask him if she needed something. All she did have was a loving father in-law, but she refused to hassle him at any cost.
Swayam did go with her to the doctors on her last two appointments, but not once did she feel a sense of support, or love, he was doing his job as a father not a husband. But all these things were pre-decided, but they still hurt. She still remembered that night where he put the sindoor on her forehead, it felt so real that even thinking about it made her shiver. It had felt that night that maybe she was his, and he was hers. And when they wake up that morning they are in every real sense man and wife, but they weren't. Ruhi cleared that out really well, she burst the bubble, which was so problematic. How could they even think about it after all that they had done to each other? How could she even accept him after that night he blackmailed her? She didn't like thinking about that night, because it made her feel too many emotions that she could never explain or even understand. But ever since the sindoor incident all she could see was Swayam and Ruhi. She knew what their relationship was, she knew enough from that one meeting with Ruhi, it just hurt. But life had other plans stored for her.
Sharon had five more weeks to go before her due date, and as always she suppressed all her desires and cravings from Swayam, or for that matter from anyone else. Knowing that no one would truly even care for her if she did mistakenly ask for something. So some nights she would wake up well past midnight, and carefully tread out of the room towards the kitchen. She would open the freezer cabinet of the refrigerator and take out the tub of ice-cream. She would quietly sit at the bench and indulge a little in the only moment of peace she had during the day. But one day changed that peace, sitting at the bench like before she realised Swayam had once again left his phone on the counter. He had a habit of loosing his phone and leaving it behind. She never understood how in the world did he become a successful business tycoon with such a forgetful habit. But that day something irked inside of her, she wanted to look inside his phone, thinking that she would be blocked out by his password she tapped on. To her shock more than surprise she realised that he kept his phone unlocked. Once again a very stupid habit for a so-called businessman'. Like candy awaiting a kid for relishing she started looking inside his phone, she knew it wasn't right, after all what right did she even have on him to do so? But she just couldn't help herself. She wasn't surprised by the last few messages that he had exchanged with Ruhi, but what did stump her was a video she had sent to him a few days ago. Sharon thought to herself that where she had already invaded through his phone, what did one video hurt. And that was probably her biggest mistake. Ruhi had sent him a sex tape of herself and Swayam.
Sharon's throat dried up instantly, her eyes started to sting and prickle.
She could see Swayam pleasuring Ruhi like it was in his second nature, like he was so skilled with any girl he ever encountered. Like in that moment all he knew was Ruhi and the name Sharon never existed, nor did their child. Sharon had successfully gotten her own heart ripped in two with none other but her own doing. Its not that she didn't know what their relationship was, but seeing it was something she didn't need. She hesitantly remembered to shut the video and replace the phone where she had found it. And as she did so something inside of Sharon had completely diminished, maybe it was hope. She thought there was possibly no more humiliation left to suffer after this point. Sharon spilled tears but tried to hold back the cries, tracing her steps back to the bedroom she slipped underneath the covers as lightly as she could in her state.
Swayam felt her move beside him, he noticed when she got up and left the room to, but he didn't want to invade her space. Sharon didn't like talking much or being asked unnecessary questions, at least that's what he always thought. His heart ached to ask her how she was, was she okay? Was the baby okay? But he didn't know what would come out of her mouth in return if he did ask away? Somehow the gravity of what he had done to her was pushing him down day by day, making his heart sink and soak with guilt. He destroyed her in the most horrifying way possible; he probably didn't even deserve to ask any questions let alone her presence in his house and bedroom. She was so uncomfortable during the nights, he could see her toss and turn, but still she made sure at keeping the movement to a minimum, where she wouldn't have to face him. And that killed him. He wanted to put his hands around her body, but he knew he really didn't deserve to, only loving husbands are given that privilege. Not vengeance seeking criminals. There was no part of him that wanted to let go of her, but then there was no part of her that still wanted to stay he thought. Imposing more grief on her was the last thing he wanted, but then again he couldn't dream living a day without his baby. These last few months caused so much turmoil for him; his heart didn't know how to proceed anymore. What was right? What wasn't? They had successfully blurred all lines into a mess of grey. His had become worse than her, and at one point that was what made him happy, now it just broke his heart. What would his child think of him? That thought was the most disturbing.
Sharon's heart kept sinking, the video kept replaying in her head. She wanted to cry out loud but she knew what good would that do. It would do nothing. Sleep never came that night, and almost as the clock struck 4 her heart sank further. She felt a strain in her back that she had never experienced before, and she started to fear the worst she tried getting up but she couldn't. And then suddenly she felt a 'pop' and then a gush of liquid between her legs. Looking down she could see the puddle left by the amniotic fluid. She was scared, really scared for the first time in her life she didn't know what to do. She knew she had to tell Swayam that her water just broke, and that they need to go to the hospital, but she was too scared that all this was becoming real. Too real. To her relief Swayam wasn't really asleep, he had his eye on Sharon and he saw her sudden urge to get up, but then he realized the bed was wet. She was in labour and he needed to get up.
"Sharon, listen to me very carefully." He put his arms around her supporting her back. "We are going to the hospital, just stay calm okay."
He could read the fear on her face but Sharon couldn't utter any words in reply. She was 5 weeks early, her child would be pre-mature and that scared her even more.
Sharon got up with his help and he picked up her bag and let her change. He didn't know if he should call his father since it was pretty early, so he decided on taking her to the hospital first.
Believing she had enough time to get to the hospital, Sharon started changing in her other set of clothes, but she was surprised when another sharp pain started. Five minutes later, another longer, stronger contraction started.
"Oh no!" groaned Sharon as she held her stomach while the pain ripped through her. Swayam realized as well that her contractions were coming faster. This was happening way too fast! Her waters had only broken twenty minutes earlier and already she was having contractions less than five minutes apart.
Another strong contraction struck as she was putting her soiled clothes in the dirty laundry basket. "Ohhh!" she groaned, bending over as the pain radiated through her body. Swayam grabbed her body quickly to steady her. He was worried, she was far to early and this was too fast even for him to handle. Getting back to his sense he soothed her back told her to support him as he guided them towards the car. He needed to drive fast. Sharon on the other hand was feeling the intensity of the pain that she had only ever read about, it was far worse than she could have imagined. Her eyes either winced in pain or they gazed out to avoid Swayam, no matter how concerned he looked tonight she still didn't want to see him. She had unfortunately seen exactly the sort of man he was.
Swayam had rung ahead to tell the hospital they were on their way, and so that Dr Maya could wait outside the hospital for them with a wheelchair. Swayam practically lifted Sharon out of the car and sat her in the wheelchair even if the hospital staff were all ready for their help.
Sharon's hair was wet with sweat as she tried to cope with the pain. "Where's Dr Shaneen?" she groaned.
"She involved in another procedure but don't worry I am well aware of your case. I know that you're a lot early than expected but have faith we will try and get this baby out safely." Dr Maya then faced Swayam, "Swayam you need to be with your wife now every step of the way. She will need you immensely, so be prepared," explained Dr Maya and Swayam nodded as they rushed into the delivery room.
Swayam didn't understand by what Dr Maya meant because she sounded a little cryptic with her words. He was just worried at the level of uncertainty.
Another midwife, Sanya, was waiting for them and helped Sharon onto the bed.
"Ooohhh..." moaned Sharon, unable to believe how much this hurt.
Dr Maya felt the contraction, which lasted over a minute. "I think you are really close, Sharon. That was a really strong contraction."
"I can't take it doctor!" cried Sharon when she could think again as the pain subsided. Before another one could start, Dr Maya checked Sharon's dilation.
"You're about nine centimetres, Sharon. Wow! This is faster than I had expected. I am sorry we can't give you any pain relief because you're too far along."
Sharon's eyes winced in pain, of all the things going on in this moment she missed holding her mother's hand. Her mother was the one person that could understand her pain, she needed her mother only, and she knew that was a far fetched dream now.
"I need my mom Swayam. I'm already nine centimetres. I need her now." Sharon cried into his shirt.
Swayam's eyes welled up at her plea, he knew she couldn't take it anymore which is why she was begging for her mother. Someone she didn't even mention in her time with him. He then looked at Dr Maya, who nodded in confirmation as Sanya got the birthing pack ready.
"Ahhh!" cried Sharon, nearly in tears again. She knew she didn't have time for painkillers, much less an epidural when she left home, it was too strong.
"I'm here, Sharon," soothed Swayam, brushing her matted hair from her face and kissing her temple as she tried to cope with the pain. "Grab my hand."
Sharon knew she shouldn't, her conscious mind knew that he was not good for her, but she needed someone. Sharon hesitantly took it and squeezed it as the contraction peaked before subsiding again. The contractions were now nearly continuous, as were her moans.
"Beanbag! I want a beanbag!" demanded Sharon urgently as she had read about using it as a last resort when there was no pain relief.
Sanya grabbed it and they placed it on the bed. Swayam helped Sharon up and she kneeled on it, the bag taking her weight. Sharon rocked her hips as the pain seemed to rip her body apart.
Gripping onto Swayam's hand was the only thing that kept her sane to some extent. She didn't really want him there, but she had to remind herself that she needed someone. And that someone in this situation was only him.
She then started to bury her face into the beanbag so she could cry into it during the peaks of her pain.
Swayam just cringed that her body was elevating this pain with every contraction. He hated seeing Sharon in so much pain. Right now, he wasn't the lonely kid from St Louis that got bullied by the Diva; he was a husband watching his wife in agon, and it was awful. He would give anything to take her pain away; he would take away all he had done in a heartbeat if it just made her better. He rubbed her back soothingly as her hips rocked and then he leaned down to kiss her meshed hair.
"You're doing so well, Sharon," he whispered, tearing up slightly as her fingers gripped his with a force he didn't know she was even capable of. "I love you Sharon. I'm so proud of you." He said it over and over again, he kept murmuring soothing words although Sharon was lost in a haze of pain and anger. She knew he was only saying this for show, or maybe this moment was becoming too much for him. But these words were meaningless beyond these walls.
"Have you called Papa?" She asked weakly. Swayam immediately nodded, I messaged him in the lobby he should be on his way.
"Oh god, I'm going to be sick!" cried Sharon, sitting up. Dr Maya put a dish under her mouth if she wanted to throw up. Sharon just pushed it away.
Swayam held her hair as he continued rubbing her back with a bit more force. "I'm so sorry Sharon, I'm so sorry." At this point Sharon stopped caring what was coming out his mouth. Her own pain was too much to deal with and his words were just going over her head.
"Swayam, it hurts!" cried Sharon, bursting into more tears.
He took her in his arms and held her as she cried. "I know,Jaan. I know. It won't be long now. You're in doing so well, and very soon our baby will be here."
Sharon nodded as she kept on crying. "And Jaan soon you're going to be holding him or her in your very own hands. Just keep strong, not to long to go now." Swayam felt so helpless, Sharon wanted any sort of comfort she could get.
Dr Maya performed another exam. "Ten centimetres, Sharon. Not long now beta."
Sharon was still holding onto Swayam when she had the most overwhelming urge to push. It was an instinct that was impossible to ignore. She could no more have stopped herself pushing because the rush in her body came with such a magnitude of heat.
"Oh god, I need to push!" she gasped, letting Swayam go and leaning back. Without waiting for anyone, Sharon started pushing with all her might.
Fortunately, Dr Maya was already gowned up to deliver the baby. "Good girl Sharon, that's it. Beautiful. Keep going."
For almost twenty minutes, Sharon fluctuated between pushing and panting. Her breathing was so ragged that there was no control. Swayam couldn't help himself as he found himself asking her progress from the doctor, and then going back to kiss her forehead as frequently as he could to encourage her.
"Okay Sharon, next push and the baby will start to crown," said Dr Maya.
Groaning with the effort, Sharon bore down and pushed with all her might. The intense burning sensation told her the baby's head was crowning. "Aahhh!" she yelled out in pain. She felt like her skin was ripping in two. It was unbearable.
"That's great Sharon. Nearly there. The head's nearly out," encouraged Dr Maya.
"Sharon, you're doing so so well. I love you Sharon, just stick with me okay." Swayam whispered into her ear. "You're doing so well Sharon, jaan just a little more longer and then you will hold our little baby in your hands," soothed Swayam, his head leaning on hers.
Sharon nodded in acknowledgement but the words were beyond her, she was already so tired. Her body was exhausted and she wanted to badly fall asleep. The next contraction started and with an almost inhuman cry, Sharon strained and felt the pressure instantly ease, as if an elastic band had snapped back.
"Head's out, Sharon. Well done," encouraged Dr Maya. "I'm just turning the shoulders so don't push until the next contraction."
Not pushing was nearly impossible but Sharon managed to stop herself. As soon as she felt another contraction, she didn't hold back.
With a gush of remaining amniotic fluid, she felt the baby's shoulders emerge and then the rest of the body.
Swayam held his breath for an instant, only releasing it when the baby gave a flamboyant, cry. Dr Maya held up the wriggling infant for her inspection and Swayam couldn't help the gush of tears as he saw his daughter for the first time.
"It's a daughter, Sharon. We have a baby daughter." he choked out.
But by the time he looked at Sharon, her eyes started to close, her vision disappeared, and her body lost movement.
"DOCTOR!" Swayam yelled.
Dr Maya was still cleaning up the baby when she realized that Sharon was abnormally still bleeding. So much that Swayam realized that she had lost her consciousness.
"We need to get her to the OT, get it prepared, she is haemorrhaging." Dr Maya ordered and Sanya ran to get the preparations on the way, while more nurses stepped inside to takeover.
Swayam very soon was left inside an empty delivery room. His own daughter was taken to an incubator because he heard another paediatric surgeon come in and tell him something about her lungs not being developed enough.
He hadn't even held her yet, nor did Sharon for that matter. And then he realized he was left numb. From being in a place where the situation was always in his control, or his hands, he had nothing left anymore. Sharon's pregnancy was the turning point in his life, and now he had to repent his mistake. He put two lives at the brink of death, and he had no guarantee that either would survive.
Rishi came rushing through the corridors looking for Swayam.
"Beta where is Sharon? Why didn't you just take me with you when she went in labor? Swayam bolo kaha hai woh? Are they okay beta?" Rishi kept laying question after question, and Swayam just stood there numb. And very soon the tears started trickling down his face, his body started to fall weak and he started to collapse. Rishi held his shoulders and got him to sit on the nearest couch. There in Rishi's arms Swayam cried like he used to as a little boy. His held onto his father and didn't let go, his didn't want to give up on the water that was freely flowing from his eyes. His heart kept crumbling by the second and all Rishi could do was sooth his son's pain, not even knowing what was going on.
Author's note
I know I have been so busy and I am so sorry. I know I am late with this update, but I hope that all of you liked this update. I know its very emotionally draining and I am very sorry If I have written something inaccurately about labour. My knowledge is limited to books only. I know there are few shockers in this chapter and a bit of confusion about Swayam. But please share all your views, I am so very curious to know about them. Once again such an amazing thankyou to all commenters and readers of this story. Your passion is deriving this story to the finish line.
P.S Guys i hope you liked the new banner? I made it myself. 😃
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