SwaRon OS: Anchored.

It was cold.

The lamp was on, the light falling on my notes as my vision slid in and out of focus. I gazed at the lone lamp and my vision blurred, light spots blinding me. The storm raged in the backdrop and I felt my stomach lurch. A soft whimper broke the silence.

"Mum? I'm scared."

I took a shaky breath. Sure, she was. I remembered sharing a similar fear years ago, before him ; before he eradicated it. I swirled my chair around facing the sleeping bunk. Her 11 year old form was buried under the blanket, with just her head and her dark hair peeping out. Though the dim lighting made it impossible to understand, I could clearly visualise her eyes, chocolate brown, staring at me imploringly.

"Leiyah, honey, it's okay. It's nothing."

"It's a storm, mum. Storms are dangerous."

I cursed him for the seventh time in the day. Trust him to teach everything important to Leiyah. Not that I was against it, but at times like these, I'd prefer a naive eleven year old girl instead of my smart daughter with great grasping powers.

A thunder bellowed monstrously, the sound tearing the sky open and Leiyah jumped up in fright, whimpering, all her bravery melting into a puddle of goo. I silently stood up and placed myself on the bed, close to her, my head resting on the wall. With an inhuman speed, her arms were around me. She buried her head in my lap, srunching her eyes. I smiled dryly; the moments I had shared with him were too similar to the one I was sharing with my daughter now. Our daughter.

"I miss him, Mum."

Her voice was so soft, I couldn't almost hear it. I know I did; the heaviness it gave my heart could not be missed. My throat felt parched and I didn't trust myself to say a word, I couldn't.

I cursed him for the eight time.

My hand went down to her hair, my fingers running through the strands, the heat of my body comforting her. She stay still for a while, thinking about him, silent tears filling up her eyes, before my gentle strokes and the rhytmic lurches of the room sent her into a deep sleep. I continued stroking her hair.

I cursed him, again.

Two months since he had died and I hadn't had a proper conversation with Leiyah yet. Ironically, that was the first thing I was supposed to do. People told me to talk to her, talk with her; afterall she was only eleven and it must have been difficult for her.

I must be ten then, for it was impossible for me.

A shudder overcame me as his face swarmed into my mind. It was the day he left for England, for a conference. His face had been a contradiction. Happy and sad, eager and grouchy, satisfied and disgruntled. I remember stroking my thumb across his cheek and planting a soft peck on his lips. My deamenor had softened back then in lieu of his twenty days of absence.

"I love you."

"Just remember that, because I'll be back soon."

He didn't come back.

The room lurched violently and I felt Leiyah's grip on me tighten. "This ship is so bad" she mumbled, giving into sleep once again.

She was so much like him. It hurt so much.

"Let me be here for you. I know you are scared of thunderstorms."

"I'm not. And I don't need your help."

"Where do you keep your quilts?"

He called me stubborn, but never in my life did I meet someone as stubborn as me other than him.

"I'm not leaving you alone."

I was stranded in mid-sea, figuratively and literally. I was lost, my sense of direction destroyed. I was lost and so was my daughter. Just because he left.

I cursed him for the tenth time.

Overwhelmed by grief, my body soon gave in exhaustion and I felt the room spinning out of focus; I was falling asleep and I hadn't cried. I hadn't cried and it gave me hope and it gave him hope; all was not lost.

**

"Momm? The ship's sturdy now. Something happened." Leiyah's awestruck voice filled my ears.

"Stay brave Sharon. I love you."

"I know."

"Sure it did sweetheart, we just got anchored."