Sharon held the papers in her hand and looked at their signatures... a piece of paper has so much strength to end whatever two people share...
She hadn't even realized when she had moved towards the washroom and stood in front of the mirror... her reflection was so not the Sharon she had known over the time... she could see a broken defeated girl standing there and that made her feel more hollow and shallow from within... was swayam for her just a feeling to win over... did she need him only to win ?
She splashed water over her face and looked at her reflection ... there she saw the girl who hadn't trusted her husband...
She splashed water over her face again and looked at the mirror... there she saw the girl who had kept a daughter away from her father...
But wasn't she the girl too , who suffered quietly every night with the thought that the person whom she had loved with everything that she had didn't love her back..
She had tried all these days to rectify her mistake... she knew it wasn't that inevitable for swayam to realize that she was actually trying to mend things... right from the time she had come to the truth she had been trying to make things fine between them but swayam had built up a wall guarding her eyes and heart... she couldn't decipher what he was thinking or feeling by looking at them , like she could do years back...
The wall was so thick that she couldn't cross it and comfort him but yet she kept on trying... everytime she felt swayam pushed her away a little , she felt her heart break a little more ... She covered it with her anger and irritation and tried to fight some more...
But now , she realized swayam doesn't need her to cross the wall and get comforted.. may be he needs some one who would break that wall by giving him all her trust ... someone who was not her...
She had loved him every second since she has seen him... even when she thought him to be cheating her... its was just that her pride was so strong that she couldn't let swayam see that... Was it her fault?
******
Swayam had come back from office and opened the door of their room by swiping the card... after finishing his presentation , he had looked around for Sharon so that they could get back together ... But one of their clients had informed him that Sharon had left... he found it unusual but hadn't bothered to think deeply about it...
He came inside the room and adjusted his eyes to the darkness... why the hell would Sharon keept the lights off? Has she gone out for a walk again???
Swayam immediately switched on the light to find something bundled on the bed... on looking closely he saw Sharon sleeping on the bed covered with a blanket from head to toe..
He checked the time... it was only 7 in the evening.. Sharon out of all people won't sleep now...
*******
Sharon had felt swayam switch on the light... she had tried hard to lower her sobs so that swayam couldn't hear him.. over the time she had felt her body and mind going numb and she refused to feel anything...
"Sharon?? why did you come back from office without informing???" he came directly to the point... "ain't you feeling well?"
Sharon had peeped a little bit out of the blanket after wiping her eyes... " feverish..." She muttered slowly so that swayam doesn't listen to her choked voice...
"should I call a doctor from the hotel?" he asked getting a little unsure...
"no I will take medicines if it gets worse..." she bit her cheeks to stop crying loudly... Why can't he love her when she doesn't deserve his love but she needs it...
"swayam..." she called out softly as he was about to move to the washroom...
"huh..." without taking a second he turned back...
"I have signed the papers... file it once we reach Mumbai..." Swayam didn't take a moment to get that she was talking about the papers which would end them forever... he also didn't miss her drained and exhausted voice.. the voice of a person who was tired of fighting...
He walked to the side table and picked them up... he gazed at her signature... his as well... finally he had managed to push her away...
**********
He stood under the shower and could hear a question ringing in his ears... "did Sharon deserve all this??? What was her fault in this???"
He could remember when neha and Vicky had told him how sharon would cry throughout the night holding his shirt close to him... how she had forced the nurse in the hospital to call him as the laundry girl just to make him listen to aru's first cry... Why would she do all these when all she thought about him was a cheater... why didn't her love decrease... she had also suffered like him... living life with a baby all alone without family outside country must not have been easy for her...
But then why did she give up on him????
How could she try more when he had refused to let her come close to him... emotionally...
He came out of the washroom and found her keeping some cash on his wallet...
"what is this???" he frowned wiping his hair...
"my share of this trip..." she replied nonchalantly ... to say that swayam was horrified would be an understatement...
"excuse me ?? I am not taking any of that... get me???" he said glaring at her...
"no.. you have to... there's no reason left that I can let you pay for me..." she said blankly and moved to the bed again covering herself with the blanket...
"Sharon... this is not needed... you ..." He couldn't finish what he had started... something was in her eyes that scared him.. was she pulling herself away?
"what will you have for dinner??" he didn't know why he felt that urgency in him to continue the conversation... why wasn't Sharon fighting back?? Why wasn't she screaming at him??? why was she quiet???
"nothing..." It answered many questions...
*******
Swayam was sitting on the floor of the balcony thinking about her... why was it so difficult for him to pull her in his arms???
He was always ready to hold her tightly and not let her break... he was ready to give her all the warmth of the world.. he was ready to take all her pain ... only if she would have let him do that...
She lost her faith over him once... once was enough...
"may be we met at the wrong time... may be we were never meant to be.. may be our time would come some decades later..." He whispered looking at the sky... " I have loved you beyond my ego Sharon... but it's a question of my self respect..." He sighed in defeat...
Two souls were all alone for the night... they could have found solace in each other.. they could have comforted each other... they could have shared their pain and got happiness..
But one had ego and another had self respect.. it was enough to drag them miles away... with several degrees of separation yet to be removed...
LEAVE YOUR REVIEWS..
LOVE ANI AND NABANITA
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