Chapter 17
"So let the light guide your way,
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take, will always lead you home"
- See you again, Charlie Puth
It was all over the news channel. Everyone broadcasted the breaking news, the one which fuelled up right at the ignition and kept burning for months to come. Swayam had already got notifications from five different news apps and none of them had provided with any new information than the first one.
This was a disaster.
In the midst of all this, Sharon wasn't picking her phone up. Swayam had completely lost track of how many times he had rang her, but he would guess to at least fifteen. It had been an hour and he was frozen in his seat, peering at the computer, on his phone, searching for anything fruitful. He had gone to every website, every social networking site, trying to see what he could do. If he knew anything of Sharon, he knew she wouldn't stay at home when this happens. He knew Sharon would be at the plant site so after a quick Google search for the address, he was off work, hailed a taxi and left for nearest stop for buses along Mumbai-Pune road. It would still take him at least two hours to reach the plant, at the earliest. Probably three at the latest.
When he reached the bus stop, he found all buses had been cancelled for the day due to problem in the highway. He knew what problem. He hailed another taxi, convincing the driver to take him as far as he would go, which happened to be Panvel.
Swayam mentally calculated. If luck favoured him, it would take two and a half hours. That was a hell of a long time. He started searching any development online again. He jolted upright on his seat, his veins on fire when he saw someone had shared a video under the tag #JRCementsExplosion. For a beat, he felt paralysed, all air caught in his lungs when he saw the thumbnail. One with an ashen, soot-covered Sharon, lying on a stretcher, her eyes closed and looking horrifyingly calm. His hands shook when he pressed the play button. He was thankful for the time required for buffering the video, because he really needed to collect himself if he were to see his worst nightmare come true.
The video was shot outside the plant. Probably no journalist was allowed inside. For a long time, that was only thing that was visible. Huge solid metal gates, completely blocking view inside and black smoke rising from somewhere behind the gate. Halfway into the six minute long video, Swayam saw the gates open and people come out in hospital uniform. They carried about six bodies outside, some rather gory looking, at various degrees of burns. The last to come out was a woman, Sharon. The camera jerked as, Swayam assumed, the journalist ran to capture video of the heiress. Fortunately she looked fine, only unconscious, no visible burns. Sharon was pulled into the back of an ambulance, but the name of hospital had been blurred in the video.
Swayam swore under his breath. The only thing he could do now was call Rey. So he did.
"Hello?" Rey answered.
"Rey, did you see the news yet?" Swayam inquired.
"I did," he answered, solemn, "Although I got that news before."
"Do you know where Sharon is?"
"She is being sent to Sanjeevani Hospital in Panvel," Rey answered. "I'm on my way."
"Me too."
***
Sharon lied on the bed, eyes wide open, staring up at the ceiling. It had been a long time she had come to her senses, but the first thing she recalled was the huge fire that had burnt away significant part of the plant to ashes. She remembered the burned forms of operators and the heat that seemed to singe her even from twenty metre's distance. She remembered running frantically to make sure no one's seriously damaged and her chest closing up at some point and falling into the darkness.
The memories brought a fresh load of burden on her. She knew the consequences of this blast. The medical insurance for employees who got injured, medical coverage for family, repaying debt to banks, paying off journalists to keep quiet, reinstallation of equipments and god knows what else. They still would not be able to stop the defamation; that was for sure, maybe lessen the after-effect though. Their company was already going in loss; how would they ever get over that?
Sharon felt her limbs go numb. So was this it? Was this the end of JR Cements? They could not survive without her father for even half a decade?
She could already hear all the misogynists speaking. How they would make fun of her and her mother. How they would taunt them for getting into manly' business. She could already hear them snickering at her.
Sharon screwed her eyes tight shut. No. There was no way she would go down that easy. She would fight as long as she's alive. She had already given up a lot in life. She was not letting go of anything else, ever.
Sharon heard someone knock on the door. She twisted her face to look at Swayam standing, looking uncertain.
Maybe there was one more thing she would have to give up.
Love.
***
"How do you feel now?" Swayam asked her.
Sharon stared at him for a good long moment before she pressed her hands down and pushed her body upwards. Once she was sitting with the pillow on her back for support, she looked up to see Swayam a feet's distance away, worry etched across his face.
"I..." she started feeling her throat itch with dryness. She tried to swallow but that only lead to her coughing. "Water," she croaked, bleary eyed.
Swayam immediately filled a glass and handed it to her, standing near her as though unsure of what to do. He waited patiently till she finished the glass and placed it on the bedside table. Taking a deep breath she faced him and asked, "Where's everyone?" voice still rough and brittle.
"Rey's outside. He got a call from his dad so..." Swayam replied, "and Mrs. Raiprakash is in office, deciding on... on... emergency action."
Swayam saw Sharon visibly flinch at that. Sharon knew it was not a very smart move to rush to the site on getting the news. But at that point, there was nothing going on in her head.
"What time is it?"
"Two am."
"What are you still doing here, then?" Sharon asked.
"What do you mean?" Swayam asked, confused.
"I mean, don't you have office tomorrow? You should go home, get rest."
"Sharon," he exclaimed, gaping at her, eyebrows contorted in incredulity, "How could you think that I would leave you in this condition alone? Do you think I would be able to rest, knowing that you are at hospital?"
"I am fine," she shot back immediately, ducking her head down, "besides, I am no one of yours to be worrying for."
What followed was silence. Sharon didn't have the courage to look up but she could already feel the hurt emanating from his skin, as weird as that sounded.
"You are a friend," Swayam said, voice low and strained. "I can worry for a friend."
"Friend," Sharon muttered under her breath. She felt like slapping herself almost immediately after saying that. She did not have the means to afford falling in love with Swayam. She knew there was only one way to deal with all the mess that her life had become. She already knew there was no way she could win this, but she could make a compromise.
"Sharon?" Swayam asked tentatively. The vulnerability in his voice made Sharon look straight up in his eyes. The way he looked at her, like she meant the world to him. In that moment, she felt her heart skip a beat, she somehow believed everything that Swayam had said in Ladakh was all a lie. The look in his eyes was too overwhelming for her to keep looking and not crumble.
"I'm going to marry Rey," Sharon blurted out. She didn't know whom that was directed towards. Herself or Swayam, but she needed to say it out loud; she needed a grip on reality.
"I know," Swayam sighed, gazing at the door.
"But," he started after a beat, "when I saw the news, the first thing I saw was your body lying all limp. Like dead. I have never felt so scared in my life, Sharon. And I have never felt so helpless. I can't save you and it kills me. But once, before everything ends, I need you to know that I-"
"Don't say it, please," Sharon interrupts, eyes wide, frantic, "please don't say anything you can't take back."
"I don't want to take it back, Sharon," Swayam insisted.
"You're... I'm... You just had a crush on me Swayam," Sharon stated helplessly, eyes screwed shut, refusing to let his words get to her, "That's it. Nothing else. Please, don't. Please..."
"What's the point?" Swayam shot making Sharon stop her blabbering. "What's the point when you already know it?"
"I can't..." Sharon half-sobbed, gritting her teeth, willing herself to hold the tears back. "Not now."
"I'm not asking anything of you, Sharon," Swayam said, "as pathetic as I sound. It's already out there," he said. Sharon felt the side of her bed shift in pressure, and Swayam's voice sounded from much close by, "there's already no going back. I know you have to do what you have to do. But I can't pretend to be your friend when even without the words out there we couldn't stand being in each other's presence. What is the point of all this when the two of us never made sense together? I will never be able to see you again, not physically. So for one last time, I need you to know Sharon. I am in love with you."
"No," Sharon shook her head furiously, eyes scrunched. "It's too late, it's too late."
"I know. If, maybe if I had had the courage to say it to you back in college, maybe our ending would have been something completely different. Maybe..."
"Maybe I could have loved you too," Sharon whispered.
"Maybe," Swayam repeated, clasping his hands together.
They stayed there for a couple of minutes. Sharon, breathing deeply, trying to steady herself. Swayam kept rubbing his clasped hands against each other, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Kiss me."
Swayam froze. The words were spoken so softly, he was sure he had hallucinated. That was until he felt Sharon's hand fisting in his shirtsleeve, tugging him. When he turned to look at her, she uttered just one word and it broke any kind of resolution Swayam was trying to make.
"Please."
Swayam cupped her face in his hands. Slowly he twisted her face and kissed her cheek.
"Idiot," Sharon let out a watery chuckle, when Swayam retraced. "This is really not the time to be a gentleman," she looked up, eyes blazing with intent, "I really want a mind-numbing makeout before any of this stops."
Swayam completely let go of her. "Sharon," he warned warily.
"Swayam."
Swayam looked at the door, still open. Anyone could walk in at any moment. Sharon tugged more forcefully, "Just as a reminder, please."
Was it wrong? Yes, absolutely. Did he necessarily care? Just a little bit.
Sharon grabbed Swayam's face and pulled it towards her. The next he knew, Sharon was kissing him. He had a strange sense of deja vu when that happened.
Or maybe not.
Her lips ardently moved along with his and he tried to keep up with her as much as he could manage. But there was no fireworks. None of the passion he had felt burn inside him the first time he had kissed her. Maybe it was the nagging thought somewhere at the back of his head saying that it was the end. He wanted to enjoy it, but it was merely a bittersweet reminder of what they could have been.
When they tore apart, this time, he didn't care with feeling guilty. It would never happen again. Ever.
"Rey will keep you happy Sharon," he stated.
Sharon glanced at him once before sighing. "I know."
Silence.
"Goodbye," Sharon said, twisting her face away from him, but her hand still fisted in his shirt.
Swayam nodded, tried to say it back but the words stuck somewhere in his throat. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath.
Sharon only felt swoosh of air when Swayam left, only felt her hand stretch out before she opened her fist and let it fall back limply. But she felt so much more. She felt her heart shattering, her brain trying to numb it all down. Sharon felt the urge to call him back. Sharon felt the urge to cry until her throat went sore. She felt the urge to punch something so hard, her knuckles bled.
It had been a long time since she had felt like a winner. But for the first time in her life, she felt like she was truly defeated.
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