Swaron FF: An Unforgettable Mistake (Updated Chapter 13) - Page 20

QueenofGreen

@QueenofGreen

Voyager

15

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#191

Hi Neet,

The plot line of your story is riveting.

I find this story so incredibly relatable. I'm a law student myself and my boyfriend is an investment banker - uncanny right?

In fact our entire friend circle consists of lawyers and investment bankers, which is exactly why I know how we react and behave.

At the beginning, you nailed their characterisation. I liked the way Sharon and Swayam were portrayed - very real.

While the angsty romance dominates the storyline, I would love to see a legal drama/ or corporate conflict unfold as a sub-plot. I'm only suggesting this, because I feel like you have the capacity to write this.

I read most of the stories on the D3 Forum and believe me when I say., that I only comment on the work I genuinely like.

So far, this story is intricately crafted and I would love to see where you go from here.

Edited by Propinquity. - 8 years ago

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Marium

@pehlanasha.

Inactive

26

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#192

I like this story, very much so. Yes, i do. I don't read anything on IF nowadays but your stories are very different. I would delightfully say your style of writing is very mature yet confident. You know what to write, when to write what thing. That is a good quality in a writer and it directly makes a story quiet enjoyable.

I read all 13 chapter in one go. Go me! 😎 You nailed at Swayam and Sharon'scharacters. A very feisty Sharon but i loved the interesting characterisation of Swayam. Understanding and loving but at the same assertive. The characters seems really real.

I really enjoyed how the story was going, is is quiet enjoyable now as well but i just think mending such a loss of future and emotions is not an easy thing to be fixed in just a small period of time even if you love someone unconditionally, but even with such small things you showed that if not totally fixed, it has started to repair. I just wish you add the same level of passion in the last 2 chapters.

Woshh, have i commented after a long time on any story. (Besides your other one) You have penned down this story in a very explained and detailed way. The flow in paragraphs and chapters are really adept.

Adios,

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