25.
Sharon was tempted to break the silence, but she didn't. He just uttered an earth shattering truth, sending her to the edge and she was afraid to even voice a single syllable. It wouldn't be a lie to say she was clueless about what should a person say in a situation like this. For her, he was always a closed person who never let people in and he was adamant and resistant to all the emotional turmoils, atleast she thought so. Nertheless, in that abandoned road, standing opposite to him, gazing at his eyes, she could read him like an open book and he didn't try to hide whatever he was feeling, which awed her.
Eventually, his eyes closed off, he became distant and he let his hands fall to his sides. Securing them inside his pockets he shifted his position. His eyes stayed on a tree in front of them, bored.
He was calm for next few minutes, he didn't try to continue what he was saying and she wanted to know more. But breaking the stance he was in would be the last thing she would like to do. She was in a deliema, she wanted to know about his past but at the same time she didn't want to be the reason to remind him his past, but little did she know, he didn't need anyone to be reminded of it.
Swayam had grown to accept his past and to treat it as his strength, he even learned how to use it for a better future, but the unexpected encounter with his mom, with his supposed to be step mom broke the little amount of conscience he had accquied. He was flabbergasted at the first sight of his dad's ex wife. She was the same old evil woman who cared about her and her only. Swayam wanted to beat the life out of her for playing with a lot of lifes, but she could able to stop him with her few words. That time, he felt so small, he realized words are mightier than the sword.
When Sharon's curiosity reached the limit, she tried to form some coherent words, "And was that... the reason... you..." She could connect all the dots and form a vague picture inside, but she needed assurance from him. She didn't want to jump into some conclusions and mess up her mind. Moreover she knew, she would trust him if he told the truth.
Her strained voice pulled him out of whatever thought he was in. Her stammering didn't surprise him, it was a usual behavior you can seek in the situations like this. For god sakes he wasn't confessing his never ending love.
Talking about his insecurities to the woman who holds a piece of his heart wasn't an easy one and the world was wondering, when would he accept that not only she holds a piece of his heart but she owns it.
Shifting his head to his left side, he let his eyes wander on her face. He couldn't really study her but the horrified face she made amused him and he ended up chuckling, which earned his her glare. Soon all the playfulness went away and seriousness took over. They both stared at each other like that 'look look hawa hawa' moments in those romantic cliche stories but in-between them it wasn't any romantic gestures, they were merely trying to comprehend the other one. When her expression changed from clueless to understanding, Swayam was aware that his face was giving away his feeling, promptly he returned to his original position before she could catch the insecurities in his eyes.
Sharon hadn't moved from where she stood when he avoided her gaze and she knew why he did that. He was insecure to broadcast his feelings.
"Partially," he said in a low voice that was audible enough for her. She was alarmed hearing his confession.
What the heck did he mean by partially?
Sharon wanted to ask that but gulped down before words could leave her mouth but she twisted it.
"There is an another reason?"
To say she was baffled would be an understatement. There were always a thought inside Sharon that she knows him. She has seen the dark sides of him, which no one dared to witness. She has seen him getting angry, she has seen him happy, she has seen him confident, but never ever she has seen him this vulnerable. Few days back when Sharon nursed his wounds he was so full of himself, he was in a state of vulnerability but he was unfathomable for her. His ability to hide his emotions were spectacular that it left Sharon stunned. Here in the middle of an abandoned road, he was letting her in, slowly though, he was allowing her to heal him with whatever she has left inside her own teared one. They both were different persons but to some extent they both were same also, the victims of someone else's actions.
Once again his head snapped to her side, he nodded.
"After she left us, dad started to change. He became a workaholic. He stayed inside his room for weeks, didn't even come out for food. He made the servents to serve him in his room. That continued for two months. I and our naani took care of Taani, from my small age I became her mother and father. I had limits, I was only six years then but I never let her out of my sight. One-day dad came out, I was playing with Taani in the living area, but without sparing a glance he stormed out. He looked dangerous, I have never seen think that angry. He didn't come back that night, after three weeks when he returned he looked happy, then I knew something had happened, I thought things would get better he will notice our presence but nothing that sort happened. Two years passed like that, I was eight then, Taani became two. We celebrated our birthdays without dad. Eventually things fell apart, I began to believe that we were never worth love. I hated everything around me, but still she was beside me, holding my little finger she learned to walk. Hearing me she was taught to speak. I was the teacher she never had."
He didn't dare to look at Sharon, but when he took a pause she interrupted.
"Did Taani know about all this?"
He sighed deeply,
"She knows vaguely because when she grown up, she noticed things her own. The tension between her dad and her brother was not invisible. She was intelligent enough to know the rift. Once she interrogated me, and without having a choice I gave her the answers she needed. She was fifteen then. She ended up confronting dad, but he did not tell her anything. He didn't speak up about the reason behind his behavior, which I still don't know. She distanced herself from him. But that time dad was not the old same person, the indifferent one. He apologized to her for a numerous times and gradually she forgave him but I didn't, I just couldn't."
"Why you didn't Swayam?"
She regretted those words the moment those escaped from her mouth. Her voice contained an accusation which left Swayam somewhat guilty and that pressured him to glance at her.
"I should have?" He asked coldly. The vulnurability, the affection, the softness, all those left his lips to the woods. He had a smile on his lips when he was talking about Taani, but Sharon caused it to disappear.
"I feel so," she muttered, looking everywhere but him.
"Come again," He narrowed his eyebrows in a crease. After turning completely to face her, he held her chin using his thumb and index finger and he made her look at him. "You really feel so?"
She nodded.
"Why?"
She hesistently took his palms inside her own and squeezed it. His first instinct was to pull his hands from her hold but her pleading eyes told him that she wanted to support him and he let her do it.
"You don't know how it feels to not to have your parents beside you."
He gave her a lopsided grin. Amusement sparkled in his eyes,
"Sharon, I think we should go,"
Without waiting to hear her, he got into the car, after a few minutes she followed him and then they drove off.
...
Hi
So how do you feel about this one?
The past will continue in the further parts.
I know my updates are small, but due to time limit I will have to make it short. Next updates will be long.
How many of you feel what Sharon said at the last was wrong?
Doesn't Swayam know how it feels?
Thanks guys for all the like, comments and your prayers.
Keechu. :)
Edited by Keechu. - 7 years ago
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