CHAPTER 12
Heartbreaking decisions
Swayam was packing his things as he was returning to Mumbai. When he started his journey, it has been just a business trip and he did not think that this trip would become a life changing. His life suddenly took a U-turn when he met Sharon. If he had rejected this trip, then he would have lost a chance to bring the life in his insipid life.
A few hours ago, he was thinking ways to bring Sharon back to his life for Tanni, to bring everything back to normal. Now he was thinking, a way to bring her back to his life for himself, in the last six months he never gives a thought to something like this, he never tried to hear his heart. He just blocked him out. He was living with a heart to pump his blood in his veins, not for any feelings. Since his childhood, he hates feelings, more than that he hates love.
Since he met her, she was a weak, submissive girl, a vulnerable orphan. He hates vulnerability. The intensity of hate feelings grew day by day when she snatched his rights without her own knowledge. She has become the reason behind a change in him when he was a child. One innocent kid changed to a cruel one because of she without her own consent.
Now she again became the reason for his change, but this time with her consent. She changed the rude, cruel swayam to a vulnerable one. He was completely confused with the way he reacted last night with Sharon. He has realized that he has feelings for her, but confessing that to Sharon was not in his plan. He had not really thought about that. However, that happened. When he saw love, pain, care, and longings in her eyes and words he could not stop himself.
He let his heart open in front of her. He confessed that he has feelings for her and he was longing for her. He was in a battle with self when everything happened. He was really confused with what he feels and what he want.
He wants her forgiveness, but at the same time he knows that is not easy, so he was ready to wait, ready to give her time. He did not regret last night, but he still could not understand why he felt weak in front of her, how did his love become so expressive just in one day. In all those times since he knows her he never felt any kind of those feelings towards her, he hated her since he knows her. But why suddenly his heart overtook everything, he doesn't know. As Sharon said he was so bipolar... He was dancing in between his mind and heart.
His split personality was a proof that he was in a battle with his inner self. He shouted at her when she simply refused him, that was a moment when his mind took over him. He has feelings for her, his heart is craving for her, but his mind was still strong enough to divert him. He was not a person who will feel weak in front of a girl, but yesterday when he saw love, pain longings in her eyes, his heart melted, he has realized how much he had hurt her. A sudden urge formed inside him to soothe her and he confessed his inner feelings, he doesn't regret spending his time with her, and for confessing nor for showing the weak side of him but his mind was not completely agreed with his feelings.
If we have two different decisions over an issue, then we have to choose, we have to choose the one with both our mind and heart support. His heart was with her, but his mind was not. He was not completely in love with her, he was like having a split personality, and at one time, his mind is taking control and in seconds, his heart is taking over. That is because he is not sure about what he want and what he has to do. He is in a total mess, he needs time to think and to make sure what he feels and what he wants. Therefore, the best thing is to stay away from the person who has created this mess. Therefore, he has decided to go away from Sharon once again. He needs to clear his priorities.
"Uncle" Pia entered into Swayam's room.
He turned to look at her; she was having a sad face. When he picked her up, she smiled meekly.
"Kya hua, why are you sad?" he slightly kissed her cheeks.
"Are you going?" she asked with a pout.
"Haa dear, uncle is going to his home."
"When will you be back?" she spoke with a hope.
"Very soon"
He then moved towards his bag and took it with his left hand. Pia was still in his arms. After gathering his all things, he walked out.
In the living room
Everyone was waiting for swayam excluding Sharon; she was nowhere to seen. When swayam came to the living room, his eyes automatically searched for Sharon, but he could not find that.
"She is in her bedroom," Kritika told swayam when she saw he was searching for her.
"Ok, I will just come." With heavy steps, he moved towards her room.
He knocked!
No reply!
He knocked again!
Again no reply!
After last night, they did not meet each other, nor did they talk. The return drive was with completes silence. He did not interrupt her, either she.
"Sharon" without getting any reply he called.
"Sharon" now he was scared.
"Sharon I know you can hear me, I just came here to say bye, I am going. I am going away from you. I do not know when will we meet again, but I promise I will come here once again and then I will take you with me. It is my promise. I will wait for you until you give me a chance. Bye Sharon. Take care." He said everything with closed eyes.
He waited for some time, but she did not reply nor did she open the door. He walked away.
"Swayam" he suddenly turned when he heard Sharon's emotionless voice.
She was standing there with her own bag. He gaped at her.
"Swayam" she once again called him to bring him to the earth.
"Huh, haa Sharon, You with bags? Where are you going?"
A sudden fear formed inside him.
"I'm coming with you."
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Swayam and Sharon were on the flight, they were going to Mumbai, the place where they born and brought up. He was apprehensive about her presence near him. When she told him that she was coming with him, he was shocked more than that, he was jumping with happiness. He had thought that if she was ready to come with him, then that means she was giving him a chance. He wanted some time alone to think about what he wants in his life. Nevertheless, Sharon herself agreed to come with him, so he changed his decision he thought now it would be easier for him to decipher his feelings.
He did not dare to talk to her, nor did he ask her the reason behind her sudden decision.
It was difficult for Sharon to leave that place and to leave Pia. However, she has to; she has to end all those hurting memories. A bad memory can only erase with a beautiful memory.
Sharon was sitting near swayam, he was in his own thoughts, and that all revolved around Sharon. She looked determined; she has planned something, something that could make everything normal.
He looked towards his side when he felt a weight on his shoulder. A smile appeared on his face when he saw a beautiful Sharon sleeping on his shoulder. He adjusted his position to make her feel comfortable, very slowly, he placed his head over her and took her hands in his then intertwined their fingers. Soon he fell asleep.
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I opened my eyes when someone called me to see one air hostess standing in front of me. She had a polite smile. I smiled at her very warmly that was when I noticed swayam was sleeping on my shoulder, and our fingers were intertwined. He looked cute; I smiled at his cute face.
I was amazed at the way he behaved yesterday; I have never seen a vulnerable swayam. Even if I had said that I want him to be a vulnerable person I, really do not want that, a person's vulnerability is their weakness. If we felt vulnerable then people will crush you under their feet. I do not want swayam to be vulnerable and to be broken. I still love him, but my love is not that strong enough to forget everything that he did to me within six months. The intensity of my love for him subsided in the past months due to his wrongdoings, I did not create hate feelings towards him I can never hate swayam, but he needs to know many things, in these six months I have started to hate to love him. I hate to love swayam, but I do not hate him. I hate myself to let him play with me. It was my fault that he used me; if I was not a weaker person then, I could have stopped him. I did not forget those memories to give him a chance this easily, I want to give him a chance, but I need time for that. I need to make sure that he is not playing with me again. I need to trust him all over again. I need to start from the one.
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Swayam stirred in his sleep and then woke up.
He had a sheepish grin on his face when he noticed that he was sleeping on her shoulder. He slept by keeping his head over hers now his head was on her shoulder. He grinned widely.
"Sorry," he muttered cutely.
"It's ok" she smiled at his cute face. She mentally smacked her head for smiling at him.
"Sharon, Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah" she turned towards him.
"Did you give me a chance?" he asked with a hope.
"No, did I tell you that I give you one?" she asked with a determined voice.
"Then why did you come with me?" he asked with a frown.
"Don't raise your hopes; I came here for Tanni and Rey."
He gaped at her with an open mouth.
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Plzz read the note :)
Edited by Keechu_SwaRon - 8 years ago
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