Swayam froze in his place listening to what she said... He could feel the floor beneath him slip away... He looked at taani with a shocked expression who looked back at her brother not even taking a single second to guess that he knew it... he knew it all...
Without any further word swayam stood up and left... taani sat there on the couch not understanding what she should do...after sometime she decided to go upstairs and talk to swayam...
She knocked his room and after sometime swayam opened it... He opened the door and went and sat on the bed...
"bhai... Neend nahi a rahi hai..."taani said softly...
"to mai kya karu??? Ja apni best friend k paas... RJ bhi hai...lori suna denge..." Swayam said with an agry face and taani sat beside him...
"sorry bhai..." Before she could complete swayam said...
"please... don't give me this sorry stuff... jab maine tujhse bola that I was falling for that girl tab bhi tu ne kuch nahi bataya????" swayam said ...
"par maine Sharon se promise kiya tha... that mai ye kisiko nahi bataungi... So mai..." again swayam didn't let her finish...
"yeah right right... Bhai se zyada friend important hai tere liye... par agar tune bataya hota to ye sare confusion nahi hota na..." he looked away...
"kya confusion???" she forced him to look at her...
Swayam told her everything about his confusion between Sharon and the RJ...
"to apne bhi rey ko bataya...mujhe nahi...very good..." taani made a face...
"shut up...tune bhi bohut accha kaam kiya..." he frowned...
"haa to thik hai na... jake baat karlo usse...waise apko pata kaise chala..." Taani said as a matter of fact...
"aaj jo poem bola usne when she was reading it to you in college mai corridor ke bahar tha...suna tha maine..."
Swayam almost whispered... Taani bid him good night and turned to leave when swayam suddenly remembered something... He immediately called taani...
"haa...bolo..." she turned towards her...she found swayam's face white with fear...
"taani... wo radio pe jiske bare mein baat karti thi wo kaun hai????" he anticipated for the worst but taani kept quiet...
"mai hoon na????" he asked again crossing his fingers for taani to nod once...
"mujhe nahi pata...ab itna bol diya aur kitna dhoka doon apni best friend ko... aur aapko kyun lagta hai ki aap itna important ho????" taani snapped at him...
"shit...fir mujhe nahi sunna kisika name... I don't know anything... it has to be me..." swayam laid down on the bed turning upside down covering his head with a pillow... taani smiled looking at swayam behaving like a kid and went out...
**************************
Swayam came inside the college and knew Sharon was in the abandoned corridor... He quickly went there and opened the door to find Sharon standing on the stairs trying to balance some props for cultural program in her hands and pick her bag from the step...
"array mai help karta hoon ek second..." He went and picked her bag and opened it in a jiffy...
"swayam...wo mera bag hai... manners nahi hai tumhe... Larkiyon ki bag nahi kholte..." Sharon started snapping at him but could do anything coz her hands were full... swayam didn't listen to her for a second and took out the file from her bag...
Sharon froze as she saw swayam take the file out...
"swayam choro use..." She gulped her saliva as swayam took the papers out and started reading all the poems which she has read on the show aloud in front of Sharon... Sharon didn't know what to do... she felt her body contract...
"care to explain????" swayam glared at Sharon...
"kya explain???" she looked away...
"ki tumne itni bari baat mujhse kyun chipayi????" he shouted at her...
"meri family aur taani k alava ye koi nahi janta... To maine jab aoni baki friends ko nahi bataya tumhe kyun bataun??" she asked...
"kyunki tumhe pata tha that I had fallen for you...fir bhi????" he asked with a vulnerable hurt face...
"sab kuch tumhari marzi se chalega??? Tumhe jo convenient lage wohi hoga kya???? Dekho swayam... mujhe achi tarike se pata hai mujhe life mein kya karna chahiye and most importantly mai kya chahti hoon...so mai tumhari baat to manne wali hoon nahi..." Sharon also shouted back at him...she was about to leave when swayam flung her around and pinned her against the closed door...
"jisse tum pyaar karti ho wo mai hi hoon na????" he asked softly hoping that she will not say anything which can hurt him...
"yehi problem hai tumhara...tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai ki iss duniya mai sirf tum hi pimportant ho????" she asked with a stern face and swayam could feel his heart contract... in an instinct he left her hand and moved back freeing Sharon to move out from the corridor... May be from his life as well...
********************
Taani opened the door of the terrace and found Sharon leaning on the wall and sobbing her heart out... taani rushed and sat beside Sharon hugging her tightly...sharon clung onto taani and kept crying...
"kyun bataya tune swayam ko????" she asked her...
"maine nahi bola Sharon... usne kal tujhe wo poem parte huye sun liya n raat ko jab tune wo para to he understood..." Taani kept rubbing her back and Sharon calmed down...
"baat kiya bhai ne usse... kya hua neeche..." She asked her calmly...
Sharon told her everything ...
"kyun kar rahi hai tu ye sab???? Pyaar karti hai itna usse to accept kyun nahi karti..." Taani shook her as Sharon wiped her tears...
"mujhe iss bare mein baat nahi karni hai..." she stood up and left...
***********************
"tu thik haina ???" taani asked her sitting in the lounge of her home talking to sharon on phone...
"haa mai to thik hoon... waise swayam..." She hesitated to ask her about him...
"college mai bhi nahi mile... mai wapis ayi to tabse bhai ander kamre mein hai... baat nahi hui..." Taani told her...
"please taani.. he is brother... mere liye apne beech koi awkwardness mat lao..." she tried to make taani understand...
"hm... samajh gayi..." taani said casually...
"to ja usse baat kar..." Sharon urged her to go and taani obliged... but she forgot to end the call and Sharon also didn't end it.. she wanted to listen to swayam... to make sure he was alright...
Taani went upstairs and knocked his room...
"kaun hai???" he asked from inside...
"mai hoon..." she replied...
"aa jaa..." Hearing him taani opened the door to find him sitting on the floor leaning on the bed...
"bhai aap thik to haina???" taani asked with concern... Swayam nodded without looking at her...
Taani sat down beside her and touched his shoulder...
"bataya mujhe Sharon ne college mein kya hua..." before she could complete swayam spoke without any emotion...
"isiliye... isiliye mujhe koi chance nahi dena tha... Isi baat ka daar tha that if I allow myself to feel for someone wo nahi samjhegi... Mai samjha nahi paunga... Kal tune bhi bola aaj usne bhi same baat boli... mai utna important thodi na hoon... Par usi ne majboor kiya... ek chance den eke liye... Aur diya to ye hua... so basically I was right and she was wrong..." Taani could hear his voice choke as well as Sharon heard him...
"sab thik ho jayega..." taani kept his head on her lap and stroke his hairs and Sharon cut the call with fresh tears covering her cheeks...
"I am sorry swayam ... I am so sorry..."
******************************
Swayam taani and their mom sat down for dinner... swayam didn't switch the radio on for the first time today...
Swayam's mom turned it on as sharon's voice greeted them...swayam flinched...
"so I hope aap sab thik ho aur apka din acha gaya ho..." Swayam gave a sarcastic smile listening to her...
"use mujhse... mere emotions se koi fark nahi parta... kisi aur se pyaar karti hai... so be it... mai firse use pareshan nahi karunga... uncomfortable feel nahi karwaunga... " he said in his mind...
"so aaj barish bhi huyi... Certainly not the first rain of the year but fir bhi... I am supposing ki aap mein se bohut sare logon ke liye ye yadgar hoga... May be ye apko pareshan kiya... As in aap water logging ke wajah se problem mein a gaye... ya fir bhig ke jookham ho gaya...ya fir it was good for you... as in aap barish mein football khele ho... ya fir kisi special insaan ke saath coffee date pe chale gaye ho... haina???" she smiled softly as swayam remembered their night in the rain and he got more irritated because after all that happened today she was casually talking about the weather when usually she says what she feels...
"feeling hai hi nahi to kya bolegi..." He thought ad pushed his plate away...
"mujhe bhook nahi hai... neend arahi hai sone ja raha hoon..." He went upstairs and didn't listen to the show for the first time...
even after his mom retired to bed taani sat there in the lounge listening to her show ...
"aur is barish ke din mein aap mein se kisiko bohut dukh bh puhucha hoga...may be aise kisi ne aapko bohut hurt kiya jo apke liye special ho... ya fir apko lagta hai ki wo special hai... par ek baar sochna agar usne apko hurt kiya.. to uske liye aapse jyada important koi aur hai... and never ever let yourself be someone's second priority... kyunki second priority is never a priority... its only an option..." She knew swayam won't be listening to the show today... she knew him too well... so she didn't feel bad sharing her views...
"jane ka time ho gaya... So here's the last few lines from my diary...
Kabhi lage sirf ek ehesah hai
Kabhi lage ye dilo ka saaz hai
Kabhi lage ye bematlab hai
Labhi lage ye kitna khoobsoorat hai...
Pyaar ka hote nahi roop , rang , akar...
Magar iske bina zondegi hai bekaar..
Kabhi kare ye ankhon ko naam
Kabhi laye ye zindegi mein umang...
Pyaar dilon ko jorta hai...
Pyaar khwabon ko torta hai
Koi karta hai pyaar pe aitbaar
To koi aitbaar se pyaar...
Dilke darmiyaan jab gam ka tufaan utha
Pyaar ne jaise sookh chain sab kuch loota
Ankhon ke samne chaya gehera andhera..
Tab wo hona chaha mera..
Zehen mein jaga ek kashmakash hai
Kya use mujhse mohabbat hai
Ya fir usne kiya sirf mere awaz se pyaar
Aur mujhe mana sirf apna yaar...
Taani closed her eyes wishing swayam heard it... he would have known her a little better then...
DON'T KNOW WHETHER THIS CHAPTER WAS UPTO THE MARK...IF YOU PEOPLE EXPECTED BETTER THEN WE'LL SAY THAT WE DIDN'T WANT TO HURRY... WE HAD TO DETAIL EACH AND EVERY REACTION FROM THEM...
LEAVE UR LIKES N COMMENTS...CRITICISM WELCOMEDπ
LOVE ANI N NABANITA
comment:
p_commentcount