Wife Of Zaira Wasim's Molester Defends her Hubby - Page 7

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Posted: 6 years ago
#61

Originally posted by: Arwen.

Anyone read up on the harrassment allegations against Al Franken, the US senator? One was a case of what he thought was a joke but the woman felt molested... the other an arse grabbing when the woman's hubby is taking the photograph.. and yes, in the second instant, the woman didnt create a scene or tell her husband...
Many people dont believe her account for this reason.. but if you have ever been harrassed.. and especially when it was unexpected (in crowded trains and buses and markets, our defenses are up because it is almost expected) chances are high that you freeze.. you panic... with some, you can obviously tell from their expressions... with others, it isnt so obvious (aka the novelist whose ass was pinched by Bush senior... you cant tell from that photo if something is amiss)


This is a really good point.

Many people believe that if the intent was not to harass, it is not harassment. But intent is not all that matters. Impact does. No matter how good the intentions, if the other person feels harassed it is harassment.

Societally, we do have a problem that somethings have been considered harmless flirting or just humor or "locker room talk". Many of us feel it should not be a big deal. But many women have felt violated by it, and feel compelled to shut up because it's not a big deal.

I think many people are trying to view this situation in a black/white and right/wrong lens here. We need to be more open to nuance.

Listen to the victim.

Is it possible that Zaira felt molested?
YES!

Is it possible that she was afraid to speak up in the plane?
YES!

Is it possible that fear overrode logic?
YES!

Is it also possible that the man did not intend to molest?
YES!

Is it also possible his rubbing his feet on her back and neck was accidental and unintentional?
YES!

This is a lesson for everyone in personal space and travel etiquette.

The man should apologize to Zaira for violating her personal space and express remorse that she felt molested. He should take the experience to be a better traveler in the future and not spread his feet out as he pleases.

Zaira can choose to accept the apology or continue with the legal proceedings. It is after all the victims prerogative on how to seek justice.

The court of law is responsible to make a nuanced decision based on both sides. If the court believes that the man should have known better and it is impossible to accidentally rub neck and back with one's feet - they will charge him for molestation. If they believe it was a mistake, they may charge him with a misdemeanor.

And I will repeat it until I am hoarse. What the man did is indeed poor travel etiquette. He deserves some repercussions for violating another person's space. He maybe innocent of molestation. But to say he is innocent carte blanche is problematic.
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Posted: 6 years ago
#62

Originally posted by: princessunara

I have been groped, my first sickening experience was when I was around 13 and Mom and my little brother were with me as we went to a shop to pick some takeout food for dinner and this pervert grabbed my breasts from the side and left! I didn't even have breasts then and I just froze but I remember having tears in my eyes and pointing incoherently to Mom where that man was hurrying off. He had disappeared by the time I managed to get it out as Amma asked.
Yes u freeze u do I understand that. But two f**king hours? She was comfy enough to take pictures of herself being abused and did not even tell her mom?

Among thousands of women and children who get abused on a daily basis thanks to someone like Zaira who is clearly doing this PR stunt is simply insulting the real victims and their pain!
People like her make me so angry!




Well obviously she wasnt panicked for two hours...my comment was a general reply to the discussion on this thread..

As for Zaira...i think that documenting the incident was her way of fighting back ... and eventually, she gave that guy a piece of her mind as well... but in this day and age, is it really so far fetched that a person's misbehavior is called out on social media?
the only reason it is seen as PR stunt is because she is a celebrity... If Zaira was a random 17 year old with a viral instagram story, the reactions here and on social media would have been different
Fact is, whatever that guy's intentions, Zaira felt violated... We can argue all day that she is lying or it wasnt a big deal or people face worse...but Zaira felt violated and eventually she reacted in what she thought was the best possible way...


Btw... if i wake up to a guy's foot on my armrest, i'll probably go live just for that reason... What the f**k?? Urgh...
Mira25 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
#63

This is a really good point.

Many people believe that if the intent was not to harass, it is not harassment. But intent is not all that matters. Impact does. No matter how good the intentions, if the other person feels harassed it is harassment.

Societally, we do have a problem that somethings have been considered harmless flirting or just humor or "locker room talk". Many of us feel it should not be a big deal. But many women have felt violated by it, and feel compelled to shut up because it's not a big deal.

I think many people are trying to view this situation in a black/white and right/wrong lens here. We need to be more open to nuance.

Listen to the victim.

Is it possible that Zaira felt molested?
YES!

Is it possible that she was afraid to speak up in the plane?
YES!

Is it possible that fear overrode logic?
YES!

Is it also possible that the man did not intend to molest?
YES!

Is it also possible his rubbing his feet on her back and neck was accidental and unintentional?
YES!

This is a lesson for everyone in personal space and travel etiquette.

The man should apologize to Zaira for violating her personal space and express remorse that she felt molested. He should take the experience to be a better traveler in the future and not spread his feet out as he pleases.

Zaira can choose to accept the apology or continue with the legal proceedings. It is after all the victims prerogative on how to seek justice.

The court of law is responsible to make a nuanced decision based on both sides. If the court believes that the man should have known better and it is impossible to accidentally rub neck and back with one's feet - they will charge him for molestation. If they believe it was a mistake, they may charge him with a misdemeanor.

And I will repeat it until I am hoarse. What the man did is indeed poor travel etiquette. He deserves some repercussions for violating another person's space. He maybe innocent of molestation. But to say he is innocent carte blanche is problematic.



Mostly agree here. It might be the case of etiquette and violation of privacy than molestation. Also it might have caused serious repercussions on her amounting to emotional abuse which is a punishable offence.


Why form preconceived opinion and hold prejudice without enough knowledge of what transpired there. Wait for the police probe to complete.

The questions and accusations thrown at her clearly show how a girl who hits back at harassment is treated with suspicion.

Molestation, for a teen is a shocking, disturbing incident. She can't be blamed for not speaking out at that precise moment when she felt attacked. Every girl may react to it differently. It's her prerogative as to when and how she chooses to retaliate.

She has so far followed the due process. She has filed police complaint and got her statement recorded.

When she chooses to call out the harassers why her past controversies, political views (which I don't approve), celebrity status(PR etc) come under scrutiny.

It's now the job of the relevant authorities to investigate and find out the truth. The least we can do is to wait for the law to take its own course .


Edited by Mira25 - 6 years ago
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Posted: 6 years ago
#64
I'll illustrate the complexity of nuances from a personal incident.
I was at an intersection with a friend. She didn't see the light turn red and almost kept walking. A van was coming hurtling down through the intersection. I held out my hand to prevent her from stepping into the road. In this process, I unintentionally had my palm touch her boobs.

Intent: Save my friend's life
Impact: Grab her boob

We were friends so it was all cool. But if she was a stranger, she could have taken it as molestation. She could have questioned, why I had to touch her boob. I could have stopped her without touching the boob.

Even though my intentions were noble, through poor timing and bad fate, I ended violating a woman's personal space. She would not be lying or making something up if she accused me. I do owe her an apology and be more mindful in the future.

There is absolutely no need to tear down the victim, Zaira Wasim, in this case, to prove the man innocent. Also, the man is guilty of poor flight etiquette and gross behavior.
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Posted: 6 years ago
#65

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

I'll illustrate the complexity of nuances from a personal incident.

I was at an intersection with a friend. She didn't see the light turn red and almost kept walking. A van was coming hurtling down through the intersection. I held out my hand to prevent her from stepping into the road. In this process, I unintentionally had my palm touch her boobs.

Intent: Save my friend's life
Impact: Grab her boob

We were friends so it was all cool. But if she was a stranger, she could have taken it as molestation. She could have questioned, why I had to touch her boob. I could have stopped her without touching the boob.

Even though my intentions were noble, through poor timing and bad fate, I ended violating a woman's personal space. She would not be lying or making something up if she accused me. I do owe her an apology and be more mindful in the future.

There is absolutely no need to tear down the victim, Zaira Wasim, in this case, to prove the man innocent. Also, the man is guilty of poor flight etiquette and gross behavior.



I agree on this. Don't we keep hearing often "But I didn't mean it?" It's hard to emphasise actions over intents in day to day lives and in the court of law.


when someone does something hurtful or offensive to another person, the perpetrator's intent is not most important. Was someone really hurt? Was there a negative outcome? Did someone suffer? If so, that's what is more important. It doesn't matter if the perpetrator 'meant' to cause any harm or not. The focus should be on prioritising impact over intent. However, it will not hold good here, in this case.
Edited by Mira25 - 6 years ago
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Posted: 6 years ago
#66

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Molestor or not is up for debate.

The guy is a disgusting passenger who believes he has a right to spread his bare stinky feet around on a plane. By all standards of airline etiquette, he is a gross passenger who does not deserve to fly.


agreed 100%...but a pedophile...a molester?? ...Calling him a pedophile for being an ill mannered passenger on a plane is like giving death sentence to someone for stealing bread...and Zaira was frozen with fear...that is why she was clicking pictures from all the angles?? Smart move though i would say👏...Girls should be able to keep their presence of mind in tough situations👍🏼...but but but...the more I hear about this the more amazing and incredible it becomes for me...so the man was not even sitting next to her?? And Zaira was taking pics of him?? The airlines staff did nothing to stop anything?? More than anything else I want to know what Zaira's lawyers plan to do against this airlines who let a 16 year old be molested under their watch...what is their take on it?? So many things to ponder and yet a man has been declared the most disgusting anyone can be...a pedophile.
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Posted: 6 years ago
#67
Now airlines should start odd-even
odd day only female passenger
even day only male passenger


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Posted: 6 years ago
#68
what i dont get is who puts his bare foot on someone elses arm re on an airplane ??
i never seen anyone till now
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Posted: 6 years ago
#69

Originally posted by: djoker

what i dont get is who puts his bare foot on someone elses arm re on an airplane ??
i never seen anyone till now

ever travelled with pot bellied women sitting behind u onboard snoring badly? I had one such encounter n promptly called the crew n woke that woman up since she happily put her feet n was snoring badly😆 my experiences with female co passengers were real bad.. And i am a woman doesn't mean I' should accuse only men n shut up when women behave indecently
Edited by anu023 - 6 years ago
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Posted: 6 years ago
#70

Originally posted by: anu023

ever travelled with pot bellied women sitting behind u onboard snoring badly? I had one such encounter n promptly called the crew n woke that woman up since she happily put her feet n was snoring badly😆

i travelled with people snowring badly lol but never had this experience😆😆
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