Women are as much to blame - Tisca Chopra on sexual assault - Page 6

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charminggenie thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: 2RsFan


While I agree female on male rape is impossible but fake rape accusations can completely ruin a career


I feel anyone who puts a false case should be prosecuted and forced to give financial compensation. While it may not deter some people but it does something. Should be similar to every misuse of any law.


Reading about self-preservation makes me chuckle a bit . Where do one draw that list with women? They should mind the way they dress while men will never think. They should learn to ignore catcalls, stars, ogling in public while men won't. They should "choose" careers wisely because they cannot work in certain industries . They should think twice while interacting with guys because least they give wrong signal. Shouldn't party late or drink. Should be mindful of every touch on public transport while I doubt men ever fear that unwanted touch , groping while travelling. Should also learn to be like "one of the boys" especially at work. I could go on and on..
But it's frankly exhaustive. I am tired of being told we should teach girls about self-preservation while then also never accepting truly that women are not equal to men, society has denied them that right and that it is on society who needs to rectify it , hence concept like feminism.
Ofcourse most of us writing essays here try self-preservation but I truly hope women always remember it shouldn't be this way. It is not the right way. It is not our responsibility ever.
This is what anger me whenever we talk about crimes about women, inequality experienced by women..nobody just shuts up and listens .The response is mostly joined by a "But" and an anecdote how some women harm men or how laws are unfair and blah blah..You see the anger, frustration..we never even have patience to understand and empathize when a woman shares her experience. It needs famous powerful women and even then the narrative is always looking for an answer beyond the obvious.

If we don't speak we are told why did you stay silent and if we speak we are asked for proofs. It never is easy for us. No woman will like to recount the horrors but we internalize, sometimes question and chide ourselves for not "self preserving well".

It is not just a rural problem or like few here say it is urban pop culture and women in urban cities and sphere don't face it. Hell it never stops. Colleagues , bosses and what not. I wonder how many men think twice about their female or male bosses while interacting or joining any org.

Here is a powerful women and it took her now to even mention few of her experiences. HW is filled with women explaining how it happens in life, offices. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/greys-anatomy-showrunner-harassment-hollywood-not-just-harvey-guest-column-1049309

There is another one with a comedy writer who explained how she was happy to be hired for a big show and she was the only girl in the writing room. Her episodes were appreciated , won praises but then she was slowly sidelined and one fine day in presence of the actors, producers and creator , one colleague rubbed his penis while she was working on a script. Yup that happened and rather than helping her , she was told to quit as environment is not for her. She lost her money , opportunity while others continued. She didn't risk a case or complaint because "self-preservation". But she made it a point to share this experience in every writing room so that male writers understand, listen.
Edited by charminggenie - 7 years ago
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#52

Originally posted by: Mallika-E-Bhais

The most educated, refined & urbane men think this way. What's most horrifying is how insidious misogyny & sexism in our country is--- That WOMEN believe this too!!! There is so much wrong with this statement it send shudders up my spine. W*F IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?


Such mentality is very much ingrained and prevalent here.

I had a female professor who uses to say good girls never get raped.
anu023 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#53
Misogyny is seen in India i agree but not more than the West.
Sabhayata thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#54
Personally i don't think we can make general statements about this .I mean whether a woman is to be blamed or not .To what extent or not?It truly depends on the situation at least for me.
Sometimes women are not be blamed but one can say women can be more careful.I don't think this is victim blaming or misogyny but in certain situation one can say be more careful.I don think there is anything wrong in being more careful.

Also like some others pointed out some woman do use sex to get ahead.And i am not judging these women its ok,, ts a choice they make .But are they a victim in this case?Yes men are wrong ,system is wrong but if a woman does agree to sleep with the producer to get a movie role can we really call her a victim?I don't think she should be called any names or anything as well its her choice at end of the day but is she really a victim?I am not so sure about that.

As far as what Tisca is saying she is not really right but ya nothing wrong in being more careful.
IPSO_FACTO thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#55
Sahi kehte hai log.. Aurat hi aurat ki dushman hoti hai
worldofwinds thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#56

Originally posted by: Sabhayata

Personally i don't think we can make general statements about this .I mean whether a woman is to be blamed or not .To what extent or not?It truly depends on the situation at least for me.

Sometimes women are not be blamed but one can say women can be more careful.I don't think this is victim blaming or misogyny but in certain situation one can say be more careful.I don think there is anything wrong in being more careful.

Also like some others pointed out some woman do use sex to get ahead.And i am not judging these women its ok,, ts a choice they make .But are they a victim in this case?Yes men are wrong ,system is wrong but if a woman does agree to sleep with the producer to get a movie role can we really call her a victim?I don't think she should be called any names or anything as well its her choice at end of the day but is she really a victim?I am not so sure about that.

As far as what Tisca is saying she is not really right but ya nothing wrong in being more careful.



Asking for sexual favours IS sexual harassment. Anyone agreeing for it certainly aren't doing it because it's their "choice" more like because they feel they have no other choice. Saying "Yes" to someone asking for sexual favours doesn't make it consensual. So yes I would still call a man or woman a victim even if they are agreeing to compromise by their own "choice".



return_to_hades thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#57

Originally posted by: 2RsFan

While I agree female on male rape is impossible but fake rape accusations can completely ruin a career


This is a misconception that has to change.

Statutory rape of young boys is completely possible. In recent years several predatory teachers, caretakers, and relatives have been caught and imprisoned for engaging in sexual relationships with young boys.

Secondly, the body reacts physically to sexual stimuli even if the brain is unwilling. Many women who are raped actually do orgasm during the rape - which defense lawyers try to use to prove that the sex was consensual and not coerced. Men experience involuntary erection much more easily and it is possible for women to have non consensual sexual relations with them (aka rape).

Law & Order SVU had an episode about a group of young Manhattan women who raped a male stripper during a bachelorette party.

Finally, while women in positions of power over men are rare, if a woman coerces a man to sleep with her it is rape.

False allegations are a crime and do ruin lives, but I feel others like Genie have addressed that concern very well.
Yuvika_15 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#58
We are closing this thread as the topic of discussion is extremely sensitive and the comments in the article as well as the thread itself is likely to hurt the sentiments of others.

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