Rati Agnihotri finally breaks her silence on domestic violence

SH7_Sunny thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Rati Agnihotri finally breaks her silence on domestic violence by husband Anil Virwani!

The actress also talks about her decision to end her 30-year-old marriage to businessman

When actress Rati Agnihotri decided to complain to the cops about the alleged violence perpetrated by her husband, she didn't expect the personal matter would leak out into the public domain. Talking about her decision to open up, she says, "I am surprised and hurt that my motives for speaking out to the law enforcement and legal machinery are being questioned. Because I chose to not speak about it, some sections of the media doubt the veracity of my claims. I've remained silent, but the fact is that that what is being said about my life is not true," she says as she resolutely announces her decision to end her marriage. "Yes, it's time for me to move one. I've taken a very long time to take the right decision. People are asking why I remained in the marriage for so long.Well firstly it's my life. I don't owe any explanations to anyone except my son Tanuj for whose sake I chose to stay on. I've taken 30 years to opt out of my marriage."

Rati wanted her son to understand why she needed to break away from the marriage. "That was most painful. Tanuj is the only reason I stuck on(in the marriage). He is 28 now and man enough to face the truth in his mother's life. He knew the truth 10 years ago. He knows the truth now. He knows what his mother has endured. Finally he has told me. Mom, don't live your life for me. Live for yourself. Do what you think is right for yourself.'

Why didn't Rati discuss her marital problems with close family and friends? "I really had no one to talk to. I stuck on to the marriage for my son's sake. This is the honest truth. If the world would like to judge me otherwise, so be it. It saddens me to see the way my life is being projected in the media. Does the media know how hard it is on me to make the decision that I did after keeping quiet for 30 years? Just because I kept quiet all these years about what I was going through and finally decided to do something about it doesn't mean my motives are questionable." Pondering over her own predicament Rati asks, "Do I sound depressed to you? Do I sound desperate? One widely-read newspaper portrays me this way and I am painted poorly in numerous papers across the country. If you don't have access to me it doesn't mean my life is open to distortion."

Regarding her decision to break away from the violent marriage Rati says, "After the latest violence I couldn't stay in the same house any more. I had nowhere to go, so I drove down to my home in Lonavla. My son was shooting in Pune and he came to meet me and advised me to do what I thought was right. This (ending the marriage) was my son's decision for me. I am taking his advice. He said, No matter what you'll always be my mother.' Every time something of this sort happened within the four walls of my home, he's the only person I reached out to. In the past I've called him for help and he has immediately come to my rescue. I am still hurt because of the last beating. I don't have the strength to go and see my ailing mother. I've never failed as a mother. No matter what happens, Tanuj will continue to be the centre of my universe."

Edited by --SH7_Sunny-- - 9 years ago

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TK368 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
YOU GO GIRL! dont listen to idiots who have not lived in your shoes
ChannaMereya thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
I am sorry this sound fake .pls ur son is 28 u could have broken off when he was 21 odd do u really think ppl are so stupid to believe all crap
Sultan_Of_Swing thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
This was very difficult to read. Staying in an abusive marriage for so long can break one physically as well as psychologically. Glad that she has the support of her son. She made the right decision.
Well done Rati for speaking about it openly but still remaining dignified about the whole thing.
return_to_hades thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
I'm glad she had the strength to finally end it. I wish people didn't have to suffer poor marriages for the sake of children.
HariOm thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Very realistic situation. Many women suffer emotional and/or physical abuse from their husband. They stay in the marriage due to kids. Plus maybe her husband abuses her but apologizes later and is nice to her. By the time she gathers courage to talk to her friends/family, he might get all goody goody.
Novarieaa thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
Her son knew it 10 years ago.. that means when he was 18. That's mature enough and still he wanted his mom to endure all these things for him? Strange!
anitarani thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
This is so sad...wish she had the courage to be out of this situation
earlier.
7387_nidhi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
I can totally understand what Rati is saying as I moved out of 19 years of marriage last year. I have two kids 16 and 10.
It wasn't an easy decision and I was also asked the same questions, why now? or if u lived for 19 years, why not few more years till kids are in college.
I tried 3 years ago too, but I was promised a better life in front of my kids and I took that chance. That was one decision I will always regret as conditions worsened after that.
I lived with some one who was very controlling, and abused me emotionally, physically, mentally and financially.
Yes, it took me 19 years to gather the courage to move out, but the day I moved out, I had all the strength to do it because the night before was hell.
he would not let me eat what I liked, he would not give me money, when I started having my own money then he would check the receipts that I am not using "common" money to buy clothes for me.
He did not let me see my kids till lawyers got involved.

I stayed for kids, yes. as hard it is so accept, I did that.
We would have discussions that once kids are in college then we will separate, but a day came that I could not live that life any more and then I also did not want my kids to see me suffer everyday just so that they don't see us separated. what is the point in that? once they are in college and I move out, their first question would be, why now? why didn't u do it earlier so that we could have stress free days.
I have two daughters, i had to let them know that what they saw in our house was not acceptable, so that tomorrow they can have better relationships.
Its been more than one year, but things are very hard, He is very non cooperative and manipulative.
My older one is suffering from depression and divorce is not final yet,


I didn't want to write my life story, but i am trying to tell everyone that what Rati did is not wrong. Why she stayed 30 years, because of her son. even though son is 21 or 28 does not matter. thers is no right or wrong time.
If she had done it earlier same people would have questioned that she should think abt her son and not take away the comfort of being with both parents.
The day , you as a woman decide, no more , that is the right day. Does nt matter what the reasons are?
She is not answerable to anyone but herself.
i have been in that situation and that's why i wrote all this so that of there is someone else reading and who is going thru a similar situation, please don't feel guilty. Its not your fault, that u haven't found the courage yet. If you have moved out, don't feel guilty that u should have stayed. You are not at fault at all. Its the person abusing u , who is wrong.

If my post, helps anyone in any small way, i will be very happy.

I am having a bad day today, and really needed to vent out and then i found this article so could not stop my self.

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