THE WORD THAT BINDS US TOGETHER-A ZAYA SS(Chapter 15,updt-30.08.14,pg: - Page 5

CHAPTER 6: BEGINNING OF TH END

"Ahhh...Mami..."Aaliya gasped as another contraction hit her.The excruciating pain was slowly radiating throughout her body.

"Just 5 more mins. beta-Osman Saab...please drive fast..please"Surraiya flinched as Aaliya squeezed her hand harder and groaned in pain.The car came to a halt in from of the hospital and everything went in a haze as she closed her eyes and whispered his name...

She fluttered her eyes open and a dimly lit room came to her view.It was not her bedroom in Barkat Villa,then where was she-her mind reeled back to how she had tripped on the carpet and then--"Aaliya"Tears were choking her,she was drowning in them ,as her worst fears kept looming above her head.She turned left to find him sitting beside her.The light had waned from his face.His eyes were bloodshot and bleary.Why was he looking like someone had died in the family?She was a mother for god's sake!Why was he not holding their baby in his arms?Where was everyone-her eyes traced every single nook and corner of the room,as if anticipating that somene would pop up from some secret hiding.

"Aaliya---"his voice was gruff,his eyes doleful."W-where is o-our baby-is it a boy?Ha!You've lost the bet,right Zain?-that is why you are looking so miserable--Have you seen our_--"her voie got stuck in her throat,she continued after a pregnant silence --"Zain..?"

"You-You have.."Zain groped for the words to break the news..he looked down at his hands,hoping that the ground would swell up and swallow him."Aaliya--we-ha-have l-lost our baby--it was agirl.."The harbinger's whisper was audible in th slence,while the shrill cry of the banshee cutting through the thick glass doors and windows of the hospital eached her ears.

Zain could'nt look at her,he could'nt look at how broken she was,because if she did he would surely fall apart-Zain Abdullah was stoic from outside.From Inside, a maelstrom of churning emotions..

No-No(she shook her head frantically)-y=you are lying..ZAIN ABDULLAH>YOU ARE LYING_YOU ARE A BLOODY LIARZAIN! Out baby can't be dead!I j-just tripped and Zain---"she grabbed her by his collar --"I did'nt even feel my baby kick..I'm a mother Zain i would've known ,right--I just tripped and fell..Z-Zain this can't be happening to us..Allah can't take away our child!"her voice was trembling,as she looked at him suspiciously"Z-Zain.you are pulling a prank on me ,right?Come on now Zain,take me to my baby!"She hurriedly pulled the covers off her bdy"Zain..?"her hands froze in action.The intensity of her voice had turned into a raspy whisper-devoid of any emotion.HEr hands limply fell to her sides.She withdrew herself from his proximity and laid herself on the bed.She turned to her right and crumpled her body into a foetal position.Her hand absent-mindedly went to her belly-it was empty-there was no life growing inside her,waiting to come into the world.A perpetual emptiness slowly enveloped her,she rubbed the spot which had been swollen uo until the mishap- a lone tear escaped her eyes.the burgeoning pain had succumbed to the lifeless creek of numbness,as she drowned herself into the abyss of darkness and despair.Zain took off his shoes and climbed up on the bed.There was ample space for him to fit in beside her.He placed his hand on top of hers.He enveloped her petite frame and entangled his leg with hers.Her body stiffened for a moment,but relaxed as soon as she fekt his wamth cut through the coldness.

Not even a single word was said,nothing that could redue their despair-he hummed a familiar tune in her ears,hoping that it would lull her to sleep.But even the famliarity of the tune seemed unfamiliar to her ears.He rocked her back and forth,-her eyes slowly drooped and she slipped into a deep slumber.Aaliya Zain Abdullah closed her eyes hoping that it was a nightmare,that with daybreak she would be holding her child in her arms...

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Short?I know ,but just keep watching this space for the next dhamakedar update.Please leave behind your comments.😳

From

Ann

According to Elizabeth Kubler Ross when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss we all move through five distict stages of grief,we go into denial,because the loss is so unthinkable ,we can't imagine its true.We become angry with everyone-angry with ourselves.Then we bargain.We offer everything we have.We offer up our souls in exchange of just one more day with that person.When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain,we fall into depression and despair until we finally accept what we have done,what we have lost and finally move on.(GREY"SANATOMY)

Zain watched his wife,Surraiya and Osman Abdullah their daughter-in-law,Shabana and Ghulam Haider their daughter,Aayat her sister and the rest of the family0their beloved Aaliya slowly move through the 5 stages of grief.

People feel that denial is the easiest way to het over our loss.You deny that it had actually happened .You deny the strongest proofs and facts against your ideas.You keep on telling yourself that it'll all be back into place,that the next morning would bring back hope into your life.Zain Abdullah entered into the muted darkness of the room.The only source of light was the mon as it hung itself against the iron-cast sky.

He looked at her pallid face and motionless body as she sat staring at the blank wall,probably watching the shadows dance in the semidarkness.The scene was no different from that of yesterday's or even of the week before that.Their world had come crashing down in front of their eyes and she had conveiniently dugout a hole for herself,leaving him out in the darkness.He could not break down,he had no one to whom he could vent out his anger and frustration.What ever he said or did could not get her speaking to him once again.He knew what she was going through because he was going through the same.He wanted her to cry,he wanted her to acept the loss,because seeing her slowly slip away into a land from where there was no coming back,was killing him.She had almost stopped eating ,stopped interacting with him.She now only survived on her prayers ,while he found his solace in the bitter liqid-ALCOHOL.,it heped him numb his pain and loneliness.

"Aal-ya.."his own voice sounded foreign to his own ears.He placed the tray on her lap and brought the spoonful of soup up to her lips,as gulped it down painfully.He could'nt look into her eyes,he considered himself at fault..he wished he had been there to hold her,just the way he had promised to...

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Exactly 3 weeks later Zain Abdullah found himself trying to control his wife who had gone into hysterics."Zain--I--I ki-killed our baby...I-I w-was standing th-there .."Aaliya's eyes glowed with an unnatural brightness as she frantically paced around the room enacting the events over and over again."I-I tripped and fell..I killed our b-baby.."she kept on muttering incoherently in an insanely grave voice,plunging herself into the very nadir of depression and grief.Tears were streaming down her eyes,but he could vouch for thefact that she had no idea about it.He crossed the gap between them and took her trembling body in his arms."Shhh-Aaliya.."he lifted her chin and forcing her to look at him,he said.."IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT,AALIYA I LOVE YOU,I KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAD HAPPENED THAT NIGHT,PLEASE STOP BLAMING YOURSELF..""Zain..."she hid her face in the crook of his neck.."I'm sorry..."she whispered ,her voice barely audible..

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BARGAINING:

What if I devote the rest of my lifeto the service of God?Then can I wake up and realise this has all been a bad dream?we become lost in the maze of 'what ifs' and 'if only' We want to go back in time,find the tumor sooner,recognise the illness ,stop the accident from happening-'if only'.We try to remain in the past and negotiate out of the hurt...

He was lying down beside her on their bed.They were close yet distant.She was somewhere far away from him.It felt to him as if she was unfamiliar -a stranger to his eyes.She had isolated herself as she sought answers in the prayers and the silence...Her back was turned to him.he moved the hair from her shoulder and placed small feathery kisses on her creamy white skin."Aaliya do you remember...how much we used to enjoy kissing..we havn't made love in such a long time.."he whispered in the darknss which was mitigated by the faint light coming from the bedside lamp.."I'm not in mood,Zain.."Her voice a faint fragmented one.."Y-Yeah..right.You are never in mood!"he regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth.She had the luxury of grieving for their lost child,she could cry-he could'nt ."Really Zain!Is that all you've got!"she spatted.

He pursed his lips together ."I'm not in 'mood' because our child is dead!O-Our baby Zain..unlike you I can't think of having'sex' right now--"
"STOP!JUST STOP<OKAY AALIYA!You are not the ONLY one who is grieving.I have been grieving for the past 3 months too.I'm the one who saw our dead baby,I'm the one who had to break the news to everyone..I was going to be a father Aaliya!"

"Just leave Zain..leave before we do something really stupid and then regret it for the rest of our life.."
"Yeah..you are right,I might as well do that.When you don't find love in your own house,then you've got to find it somewhere else..."Zain hissed before banging the door close ,on his way out of their room...A tear rolled down her her cheeks,but she quickly wiped it away,lest her resolve breaks ...--

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It was not a physical pain-it was so much more than that.It was a perpetual dull ache in her heart that prevented her from moving on,frm crying out her pain .It was not only affecing her,but also her marriage with Zain.It was slowly choking life out of her...

She dejectedly threw the phone across the bed.It was yet another futile attempt to get in touch with him.It had been 24 hours since he had left Barkat Villa in a fury.Her brain had stopped working as a newfound fear ,the fear of losing him plagued her thoughts.Surraiya and Osman Abdullah had failed to console and assure her that he would come back,they had failed to stop the dry racking sobs or the clenching of her heart..Aaaliya shuddered as another lightning struck the ground and the window panes rattled due to the lashing of the the torrent winds...

She sprang up to her feet when she heard the bedroom door close-and there he was standing in front of her.he was drenched and bedraggled with his eyes red and bleary,as if someone had sucked the light out of them.Her eyes traced each and every nook and corner of his face,was she really so engrossed in her own grief that she had failed to notice that he was grieving too ,that he needed he by his side----a plethora of emotions washed over her and the unbidden tears cascaded down her eyes..

HSe cupped hisface in her hands"Zain..I.I ---"she began but stopped.."you are completely wet--come with me..."her voice was choking with grief ,as she ushered him to the bathroom.SHe made him sit on the edge of the bathtub.No words were spoken in the hushed silence ,as she dried his hair with the towel and helped him out of his wet clothes..She wanted him to speak,she wanted him to say something to break the ice...Aaliya was about to walk away when he stopped her..she tuned around to look at him intently,silent ears were roling down his haunted eyes"Our baby is dead Aaliya...Our baby is dead.."he muttered in his emaciated tone..

"I know Zain-but I also know that we are going to be fine..we can overcome anything..we are Zain and Aaliya..we are going to be fine,even if the chances seem bleak right now..you and me,we are going to be fine..I'm sorry..for everything..I'm so sorry Zain.."it was not her tears that startled her,but his,as Zain Abdullah wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her abdomen and cried his heart out...The only sound that could be heard was that of their heaving sobs and choking grief as they both grieved for someone who never got the chance to see the light of the world...

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SAD? I know guys..am sorry for it ..but I hope that you guys have liked this chapter.Will be waiting for your feedback on it...And this journey has just begun,many more chapters left to be opened 😊

From

Ann😊