TODAY'S DEDICATION : my ehm forum friends -
lara aka devilaonmoon
aaru aka Angelic_Friend
and
sanjana aka cutiepie2244
3 DEDICATIONS because i couldnt decide on one amongst these three... π³ π³
NEXT can be YOU...!!!! ππΌ ππΌ
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Chapter 2
because of LOVE
today in the morning a couple came to the orphanage as they wanted to adopt a child. for them its just adoption, a simple legal procedure but for us... for us its like giving our precious possession to a stranger hoping they would also treasure it, the way we did. i always loved children and knew they were fragile but now i know them as the most beautiful creation of god. children are nothing but the blessing of god showered on few. the couple i met this morning really seemed nice, sweet and lovable. they are well settled, from a good family background and have everything in life except a baby. i looked into their hopeful eyes and immediately knew that they badly crave for a baby. they wanted to adopt a new born and today they saw that baby for the first time. i cant tell what that moment was like. it seemed MAGICAL. the lady picked up angel (thats what we named her) and her face at that moment reflected nothing but selfless love... love that a mother feels for her child... and her husband seemed too excited to catch a glimpse of the new member of their family, so he hugged his wife sideways; his one hand his wife and the other around his beautiful daughter. they were now a PERFECT FAMILY. now they were COMPLETE. i smiled on seeing them and wished i ever got a chance to life such a moment with zain. if everything went smooth between me n zain, i would have also started dreaming of such a moment... dream of our baby... may be a junior zain in my arms... but who am i fooling... i dreamnt of something like this and still sometimes i dream of it though i know my dream will NEVER come true.
i was kind of a daydreamer n i think im still one. thanks to this dreaming past time of mine that i never noticed zain's changing behaviour towards me. i failed to notice that he started getting irritating on small small things also. i was so lost in that feeling of being in love that i failed to notice the changes taking place around me. at that time zain was trying hard to adjust in office and earn a name for himself. he wanted to become like usmaan uncle; his dad but hated to be only known as usmaan abdullah's younger son. i dont know why his individuality mattered to him that much... i loved being called as usmaan abdullah's daughter-in-law but zain was clearly not happy. the sad part is that i realised it now but i swear, if i realised it back that time, i would have supported him and helped him achieve his dreams.
it was just another day of my life... my life as aliya zain abdulla. i was waiting for zain in our bedroom. it was 12:30am but still there was no sign of him. i called zain but was unable to reach him. after an hour, zain returned and i smiled at him and went to the kitchen to bring food for him. i returned and saw him reading some file, so i asked him to have food but in reply i got nothing. i again asked him and yelled at me saying that i do nothing and sit at home idle all day and now i have started irritating him. his words hurted me but i chose to ignore it. i thought he is tired and i should not argue with him right now, so i went to my side of the bed and slept. this used to happen often but my love for zain, used to name this attitude of his as tiredness and stress. but now i know the real reason; he wasnt finding me enough for him. he used to feel that im nothing but a useless housewife but poor he... he doesnt know that a housewife is never useless, she is a HOUSEMAKER.
days passed by and the distance between zain and me grew. now he didnt use to sit with me or talk to me, he was someone else whom i didnt know. i donno what went wrong and how my life turned upside down. i should have found the answer to my questions but i dont what to. honestly i cant... i cant confront zain and ask him to answer my questions. i cant look at him. the more i look at him, the more my love will grow for him. i still love him. after what he did to me, i am still unable to hate him. i am still in love with my husband and i cant do anything about him but that doesnt mean i can blindly trust him now. my love is no longer blind.
on valentines night, when zain returned home drunk and said those hurtful words; i was broken and shattered. when he was about to pass out, i led zain to bed and took off his blazer. i kept the blazer on the nearby couch when something fell from it. they were some papers and out of curiousity i took those papers and opened them. they were DIVORCE papers... zain and mine divorce papers which werr already signed by zain... was he too eager to get rid off me was the first thought that crossed my mind... but next moment everything around faded off and the realisation sinked in that it was the end of our marriage, of our relationship. tears were flowing from my eyes and i got flashbacks from these ten months of our marriage. i recalled almost every moment... happy moments... sad moments... before i could absorb this shock, zain started murmuring something. i couldnt understand what is he saying, so i went close to him n sat beside him but he on the bed and me on the floor. he was saying something like he hates me, i disgust him, i am the root of failures in his life, i brought badluck for him, i am nothing for him... this was the last blow and the damage was already done. i was heartbroken for life... i thought for a while and decided that if me leaving zain would make him happy. i will LEAVE him. so with shivering hands i signed the divorce papers and kept it on the side table. my tears were still not stoping, so ignoring the pain and agony, i started packing my clothes and took some of the photographs with me. soon i was done with the packing and the tears were also dried by that time. i gathered every ounce of energy left in my body and decided to leave a letter for zain telling him that i love him and i can do anything for him.
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Hope you guys liked it...
Edited by naina927 - 10 years ago
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